Sad

[Madeline]

My son Alfonso was just picked up to leave tomorrow for boot camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. I am feeling very sad and left wondering if this was the best choice for him. I am very proud but also nervous and concern for him. There are so many questions and unknowns and I feel I have no one to turn to who will understand the emptiness that i am feeling right at this moment; my husband is outside going on with his day as normal he has not even come in to ask me how I am doing. Oh I feel like scream how could you just work on your car as if nothing is going on. I know and understand that everything is going to be alright but my heart is torn that is my baby.

[Tammy]

Madeline, I know what you mean. When it was time for my son to go to BC I was the one who dropped him off at 4:45 in the morning and that was the last time I saw him til he PIR'd in July, he had a girlfriend and she was the one who got to have dinner with him on his last night here and he texted'd her all day and she was also the one who got the phone call when he got back to great lakes, but she is no longer here and I am. We as mothers go through such a different range of emotions, I would just cry just because he wasn't here. He is my one and only and prior to him leaving I saw him everyday and would talk to him alot. Husbands handle it in a different way. He will be fine in BC, my son said he learned to keep his mouth shut and just do what they ask you to do. When he first gets back there it will be a big adjustment, they no longer have a life of their own, but again I'm sure your son will do fine. You will get the box, of his clothes and a form letter with an address to write him. About 3 days after he has left his recruiter should have his address so give him a call. I wrote to my son daily and he really appreciated having something every day at mail call. This site is great because we have all been through it, or going through it any time you want to talk someone is always here and listening. I hope our thoughts and prayers will get you through this time, til you seem him that day at PIR or receive that first letter and phone call.
A friend
Tammy

[Madeline]

Hi Tammy,

Thank you so much; I tried to spend extra time with my son before he left this afternoon, however I just would like one more big hug from him. I know deep down in heart that he is going to do well because he is a very strong physical person (always played sport through high school and some college), respectful and he easily makes friends and going to the Navy is something he has always wanted to do.

[Tammy]

My son also played sports and that helped with the physical stuff. I know I would just go into his room and sit there and look at his things. This wasn't something my son had planned on but do to things I feel it was a great choice for him. What is your son going to be doing in the navy? Have a great day.
Tammy

[Angie - Proud Mom of Brittanie]

Madeline - I was in your position two long weeks ago - my daughter left on Nov 18th. I feel very fortunate that I was able to make a short drive to stay our last night together at her hotel. I was also able to attend her swearing in ceremony and spend the last few precious hours with her before she boarded her bus to BC in GL. I know how you feel - my heart was torn out - I felt completely at a loss - I received a few calls throughout her bus ride and one last call when she arrived (and an unexpected one two days after she left) - I received her "kid in a box" 3 days later - but am still waiting for her postcard with her address! Hopefully I will get it tomorrow- 2 weeks is way too long! My husband acted the same way - they handle things in a different way then us Moms do - but deep down I'm sure they're also sad - they can understand right away that this is the best move for their future - it takes us Moms a lot longer to figure that out and try to stop the tears! Once everything starts rolling with the calls and letters - I'm sure we all feel much better - which sounds like coming from other N4Ms is around week 3. Good Luck and keep praying for all of our Sailors - as well will for yours (and you)

[QueenV]

Hello.My son left for boot camp 11/17. He was supposed to leave back in August but he didn't have his social security card so his date got pushed back.I was so relieved because I was sick. I cried,I looked at baby pics and just couldn't find it in myself to let go.Over September and October I saw my oldest baby grow into a young man and by the time november rolled around,my child said to me"mom im not a baby.You have done so much for me,and now its my turn to make you proud." So I have relied on the rtcc web site for info and of course n4m for support.you will be ok.God bless u and yours!

[Kim B.]

Madeline,

Welcome aboard! We have all been in your shoes and can easily remember how difficult it is to see your child leave your home. As you said you both will get through this, but it isn't easy. My son left for GL on 9/4 and had his PIR (boot camp graduation) on 10/31.

Boot camp was a challenging 9 weeks for both my son and myself. We got through it and I feel it was the best thing he has done. A couple of things I learned...I did not speak with him very often while in boot camp (two phone calls in 9 weeks!) My son wrote letters and I usually got a letter every Friday (after the 2nd or 3rd week.) Start writing your son now. Tell him what is going on. How proud you are of him send him pictures, comics, jokes.

Be ready for the box... basically a square box with all their clothes and belongings in it (Kind of like your kid in a box). In some respects I felt relieved when I got it, but in others it was really devastating...all the things you associate with your son minus the actual person.

Reach out. This site helps so much. You can always find someone who has the info you need, or the words you need to hear. Also, if you can go to the graduation (PIR) GO. It is the most amazing and prideful experience.

Be Well and keep in touch.

Kim

[Achseh]

Oh Madeline--your husband is much like I suspect other Navy Dad's are--if you don't talk about it, it doesn't hurt as much. Or at least that's what my husband said- and he's a Navy vet. I'm sure he misses him too.

Hang in there and take it day by day. Bootcamp will fly by and before you know it he'll be graduating and you'll be able to talk to him more frequently.

I wish you the best!

[Cheryle]

Madeline, I completely understand. I just took my son to the hotel tonight to drop him off. He will be picked up early in the morning and taken to MEPS then flown to BC sometime during the day. My husband, too, looked at me as I started crying as if there must be something wrong with me. I know he loves our son, but it doesn't seem to be affecting him (at least he doesn't show it). Maybe your husband is doing "normal" things to keep his mind occupied so he doesn't have to think about your son leaving. I've tried to do that myself when those empty feelings hit me-which seems to be every few minutes. I know there are a lot of questions and uncertainties ahead, but we will make it--just like our sons will. Hang on to the friends you will make here and count me as one of them. You will find lots of help and encouragement here.

[Madeline]

Thank you all for the supporting words. I was able to attend the ceremony where my son Alfonso was sworn in to active duty yesterday; it was very nice and I enjoyed being able to spend a few hours with him before he left to the airport and enjoyed meeting a few of the mothers. I have not received the 30 second phone call yet, does anyone know if he calls while I am working will they let him call my office phone and if the call is missed can he try again? I had a tough time last night thinking about him I could not help but wonder if he was able to sleep and wonder how he spent he first day in boot camp, I thought about him all day. Does anyone know if they are allow to have cell later on during boot camp? Will they get access to a computer during boot camp? Can someone gave me a brief description of what takes place at the graduation ceremony? Will he be allow to spend some time with us after the graduation ceremony? How long does is the graduation ceremony? What happens afterward?

[Kirsten]

Hi Madeline :)
if he left today the phone call should come sometimes today (night) unless he decides it's to late to call. I know my phone call came around 1:30 am . So please do not worry if you don't get that 30 sec. phonecall he will be alright :) make sure you start writing and give it a few days and give his recruiter a phone call for the address :).

[Kim B.]

Madeline,

No cell phones in boot camp. No computer access either. If you miss their phone call in general they wont be able to try another number. I did not get my initial phone call when he arrived. He got there at 4am and probably did not want to wake us in the middle of the night. My first phone call was 3 weeks in. My second was the last week and I missed it.

In general your grad will have liberty after PIR (boot camp graduation). This means that you will be able to pick them up and spend the day with them usually they have to be back on base by 8 or 9p. Some are grad and go that means that they leave that day for their next destination. Your son will know at some point later in the process what his orders will be. My son stayed in Great Lakes and he was actually able to stay with us in our hotel room. This is not the norm. There are some good videos on the site that you can watch any that say PIR will show you portions of the ceremony. After you can more than likely take your sailor off base and celebrate with lunch. In general they are tired. They like you to bring their cell, so they can call friends and catch up.

[Diane Ramsay]

My son Steven Just left an hour ago and I'm thinking, is this the right thing for him? I can't go into his room just yet, I'm so nervous for him I just want to see him. I didn't expect to feel this way, will he be okay? Will he make it? Will he be so different? Unless you've been through this how can you know? He's my baby, and I miss him so much!