sad boot camp mom

[judy]

I am new to this. My son just left for boot camp on july31st. I miss him i am very unhappy and scared judy from ca.

[Jeanne]

Hi Judy,
My son Ian is in boot camp right now. He is 1/2 way through. I know exactly how your feeling. His first letter was such a heartbreaker. I cried for the next week. The second letter was alittle better. We got our 1st phone call three weeks to the day he left. Once we heard his voice things got easier. He is doing well now. His letters are still brief but he finally seems happy. I read many times that after the 1st couple of weeks it does get easier and I can say it really does. Hang in there. Try and write to your son often because that really helps them. Ian said that helps hims so much. He loves getting mail. I am counting the days to PIR. It seemed so far away but we are down to 29 days.I can't wait to see my Sailor. I am sure all this stress will be well worth it in the end.

[judy]

Jeanne, i was doing good, but i got this very impersonal typed letter and he got to writetwo lines at the bottom that read, hey guys i am second guessing why i am here but i can't sit and worry about that,i will be o.k. then he said i love you guys and don't send letters yet. i am sick all over again i want him to come home my husband says that's how they all feel 2weeks into it , i don't care if he wants to get out then he needs to get out. i have not heard his voice for 2 weeks i feel dead. judy

[ComfortMom]

Judy,
My son left on July 29. I remember that first week and how lost and depressed I was. I honestly didn't think I would ever be happy again. Keep visiting this site and talking to the other moms. It really helps. When I read "Mother Mary's" blog about seeing her son at Graduation, it really gave me hope that I did have something to look forward to. This made me feel better. These supportive friends and constant prayers is truly what gets you through these tough days. Good luck and God Bless you and your son. We will see them soon and marvel at the wonderful Men they have turned into.
Lisa

[judy]

Comfort mom,well i received a very impersomal letter from the navy and they were nice enough to let christopher write to teeny little lines they read like this,,,,,,,hey guys well i am second guessing why i am here but can't sit and think about now,i will be fine (now he has no choice) then he said i love you guys. I didn'ft feel great when i read that what if he is sorry for the choice he made? I am still sick to my stomach and crying,but right now i have to go to work, and i work little kids so i have to put on a fake smile. thank you for responding, please write again, judy

[Angie F.- WA: HM mom]

Hi Judy, I was going to stop in on your page to see how you were doing when I saw this discussion. I know it's been so rough for you and you don't believe it will ever be o.k. again. I promise you, just as he said in his note, he will be fine, he believes that and he wants you, no, he NEEDS you to believe it too, He would not have used precious space on those three lines if he didn't think it was important for you to know that! By the way, did you notice how neat his handwriting was? Amazing isn't it? =)


They all think "what have I gotten myself into?!" Don't allow yourself to read too much between the lines and second guess him. Yes, he is already doing that to a point, but he is also choosing to make the best of it, to roll up his sleeves and make the most of this experience. I'll bet he senses that he'll grow a lot from it. He didn't say "why didn't you talk me out of this or I'm so stupid, I hate this!" Trust me, some moms have received letters like that! But he didn't, he took the time to reassure you (he obviously knows his Mama well ;) )and tell you how much he loves you. Your loves for him gives him strength, let his also strengthen you.

The purpose of that form letter is to make sure you are informed and have the correct address. It is a courtesy the US NAVY extends to you, to all of us Moms waiting anxiously at home, wondering, worrying and waiting. Seemingly endlessly! The 30 sec. call you were told about happens when they first arrive at BC. Another courtesy, so we know they are where they are supposed to be, that they've arrived safely and aren't dead somewhere. I never got that call, but only because my son's flight was delayed, it was so late that when he called us from Midway airport, I told him it was ok not to. Our first call came on a week day afternoon, exactly 3 weeks after he left. It lasted 30 minutes, plenty of time for everyone to talk. He even had time to hang up and call his Dad at work. Watch for an 847 area code and keep your cell phone on you, you can use call forwarding from home if you have it. Your letters will probably arrive on Thursdays.

Now that you have his address I highly suggest you join the Boot Camp Moms group, or at least read through it. You WILL find other moms with recruits in the same DIV and Ship. I could swear I saw two of them post comments there last week looking for other moms like you. Then join the groups for his DIV and SHIP so that you can share the journey with others whose recruits know your son. When they are receive letters and calls, they can also let you know what they hear and how your boy is doing all through BC. Join the California moms group. Kimberly there is wonderful and has done much travel to GL and other places, she and the other Moms can give you good info and tips I'm sure.

Finally, Judy, look in the bright faces of those sweet little ones and let their joy become yours each day. Our happiness changes with our circumstances, but real Joy abides. I went through a really rough time over a year ago, something that was completely beyond my control turned my world upside down and inside out. I was teaching a Preschool class at a time. The brightest part of my week was walking in and hearing their excited voices greeting me and those chubby little arms enveloping me with their life affirming hugs and warm kisses. Treasure that, it's God's gift to you during this time. =)

Maybe you could watch another little one or do something else part time to earn $ toward graduation expenses? It will be good to stay busy. Also, around week 4, your son will have his official Navy picture taken. Write him soon and tell him to please order a picture package and the DVD of his PIR (graduation) ceremony. They will deduct it from his check. Don't worry, he'll have plenty of money, nothing to spend it on now but that, his uniforms and a calling card. :-) You take good care honey. We're all in this with you. I suspect you actually may be stronger than you think. :)

[Angie F.- WA: HM mom]

ps. I apologize for the length of my post, but I really wanted you to be encouraged, to have some perspective and most of all HOPE. I found out I was made of tougher stuff than I ever thought. I never expected either to be the Mom of a US Navy Sailor or any military branch, but I am finding my way and my son is thriving. It turned out to be the right fit for him, though it's difficult for me sometimes, can't let my imagination get carried away. I leave tomorrows worries alone. Keep reading, keep learning, keep connecting, keep hanging on! :-)

[judy]

Angie, where do you live i just found about 3 moms who live near me,we are going to try to meet somewhere i am so glad for that, as for tough nope that's not me i cry at any given moment i miss him so bad, and i miss hearing his voice,maybe today they will let him call i have my phone right beside me, i don't have a cell phone though can't afford one right now. please write back, judy

[judy]

you know what???i do daycare at in-shape health clubs and you are so right,when they hug me and laugh and want to color with me it does take the hurt away.i am still pretty confused about how to talk to every one i don't want to not write back, i love all these letters,though i never thought i would be on a site like this,i also want to send a message to everyone from lodi to manteca and every place close ,i would love to get together somewhere to meet i am not doing well with this,and i am not good with the computer anyway i loved your letter please keep writing, judy

[Linda E./Justin div 161]

Judy, go to Bootcamp" forum. You can make a new post(like this one) and ask for moms, with kids in YOUR sons' division and ship(listed on that form letter) that you can talk with. You can also start a new post and ask for moms who live by you. You are on your way to finding all sorts of help and people who answer your questions. Your son will be fine, after week 3 , you will notice he gets more sure' of himself and he will write about guys he has met. Then you can find TIR moms in here~~~see how it works?`` you will have more connections to him. DEEP BREATH NOW~~:, Linda

[Angie F.- WA: HM mom]

Hey Judy, isn't it funny the things we will do for our kids, even learn to navigate the information superhighway!! You're doing fine, you don't have to be techno savvy (I'm certainly not, More like a techno idiot! I've learned some new tricks by being on this site and I had never done social networking before!) no one will judge you because you don't capitalize or can't figure out how to download photos. Do stick around, you'll probably pick up a few things too. =) Just write to those you want to ask questions of and/or feel a connection with if time is limited.

I'm thrilled to know you will soon get to meet my friends Sheryl and Mama Stew, and so jealous too! LOL though I was born in CA, I live in WA now. Still West Coast, we can still chat when every one else has hit the hay! :) How great that there is another mom too who is willing to host. I'm sure there will be even more moms by the time of your event. As veteran Moms, Sheryl (who served in the Navy too) and Michelle will be wonderful resources and a sounding board for you. I hope that helps you get over this deep, dark hump too. Things always seem brighter when you realize you are not alone. :-)

Isn't it great to get payed to play too? You are fortunate that way, Your Son was lucky to be raised by a mom who took time I'm sure to enjoy every stage of his growing up years; you will find ways to participate in and celebrate the stages of growth he will experience in the Navy as well. Just give yourself time to grieve a little, wrap your mind around it and adjust. You will look back in 3 months time and marvel at how far you have both come, I promise. You'll also wonder how you ever got along in life without your N4M friends to lean on and laugh with!! Have fun at your get together and keep in touch as you can. :)

[Anita]

Judy hang in there and get involved in reading all you can and talking to these moms (parents) about
whats going on and write up your questions you have for your son that you want to ask him when he calls that 1 time so you want be just sitting on the phone. Get on this site and follow what he is doing that is what I have done to help me. At first it was just messing with my head. Take care and God Bless you.

[Sheryl from Ca (Tommy's Mom)]

OH Judy.....I'm so happy to hear that you got a letter....yeah!!!!YEAH!!!!YEAH!!!
It makes it so much easier...now that you know he is Okay and doing good....

Leader of his Division!!!! that is something to be proud of MOM!!
WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!

I can't wait to meet you Judy.....
Sheryl