He's leaving- tomorrow!

[Cindy Proud Navy Mom of Rob]

This is the deal -Rob was supposed to go to BC January 22, 2008. He was set up to go as a CS but, was hoping to get accepted in to an aviation position before that happened. The recruiters stopped by my work this morning wanting to get ahold of him. They had a kid that was supposed to leave for BC today but, didn't (I don't know why) and so they have a 'seat' available for Rob.
I don't know what to tell him. Hold out for what he thinks he wants or just get this life started? Thing is he told us he just wants to go, is ready, and honestly we want him to before his spontaneous & impulsive behavior gets him into a situation that will throw a wrench in to it and cause problems.
He called and said he wasn't sure what to do. He's scared a bit -now that it faces him. Truth be told - so am I.
I just told him I want him to be happy plus I didn't want him to say later, even a day from now ' I should have gone'.
This is so hard. I am sure he is just not really ready for BC. Are most of them ever really ready for the ubknown?January would have given him more time to get used to the idea plus learn more. I just feel he is ill-prepared at this point. Typical Mom I guess - worry wart. I had geared myself for January -having him home for the holidays one last time before God knows when. He's the last one to go and we really are very close.
I do not want to be weak and hold him back and be selfish though.
What to do -tell him to go if he has this window of opportunity or wait until he finds out for sure if he qualifies for the aviation position that he prefers?
I just don't want him to regret the choice he makes right now - it's a big one.
What would you parents do if it was your kid?

[Marybeth]

Wow! So glad your scare is over. This is exactly my fear... James was originally scheduled to leave on July 11th; but since being accepted into the Nuke program is now leaving at the end of his DEP contract on November 17th. He has requested to be notified of any earlier openings, but I am afraid that they will also call him with only a moments notice!!!

I'm glad that the decision was made for you and your son, and now neither of you will have to live with the what-ifs... Enjoy your last holiday together!!

[carols_kitchen]

If our sons are at all alike, yours should love the nuke program at Goose Creek. It's tough--one night Andy was up till midnite studying--but it is paying off.
Be sure and join Nuke moms if you have not already. Jake Gallagher has many good blogs, one of which describes the average school day.

[Janis Kay]

Cindy,
I know exactly how you feel about the impulsiveness getting him into trouble. My son actually is leaving tomorrow! We have had 6 months to "get ready" and I'll tell ya, I thought it was pretty hard to do the count down thing. I can't say if it would have been easier or not to just do it.
Anyway, at least now you can discuss what to do if this were to happen for real and then maybe at least feel a little more prepared.
and you're right! Only men would toy with our emotions! They don't get it!

[Ginny Mattson]

Well I'm glad to see it was a false alarm. I know I enjoyed having my son home for those few months before he went to Bootcamp. Hopefully he'll still be able to get the aviation position that he would prefer.

However the one nice thing about going early is that they have less tome to get in trouble, I was bit worried for my son with all the partying his friends wanted to do with him before he left. He made it through thank God.

Ginny

[Jan]

Hi Cindy,
I'm Irish too :o)
I know what you are going through. My son has been in for six years and we still never know what's coming next. Last week they called and told him he was going to Afghanistan for a year. Ten minutes later they called and said it was off for a bit since his paperwork for another assignment closer to home was in process in what he is trained in. Wednesday he leaves for a two day assignment in Florida. We just never know. He is married with three children. Talk about emotions! I can certainly relate. I'll be praying for your situation.

Hugs, Jan

[Lisa]

If your son goes now, what will his job be? If his job is not what he wants I would wait but on the other hand if the job he is being offered is something that he is interested in I would let him choose. My son was also waiting for aviation and waited 4 months past the original date. He finally went in a chose his second choice job. His PIR is on Nov 7 and I am glad he finally made the choice to go.
Good Luck
Lisa

[Serena]

Be prepared because you may go through this again before January. We had almost the exact same scene. Our son was scheduled to go Feb. 3rd, but got a call on Sept. 6th and the recruiter said if he wanted to switch jobs, he could go on the 16th. He didn't hardly even think about it. He flew down to the office and signed the papers and off he went. The night before he left he was having second thoughts, but was a little too late then. He is also our baby and our last one and the house is soooo empty. I cried for 2 days, but it's getting a little bit better now. He was so anxious to get out on his own and start his career. I hope he is happy and not regretting his decision too much. He was suppose to be a weapons specialist, but switched to Aviation Structural Mechanics. He was excited about being on the planes and flying some, but not quite sure if this is the right job for him. Oh well, he made the decision and he has to live with it. But like you, we wanted more time to prepare for this and spend with him before he left. We don't know if he'll be home for the holidays now or not, which is one of the main things he wanted before he decided to leave. Tell your son to think it through very carefully before he makes a decision, but let him make the final decision, because he's the one that will have to live with it.

[Pam M]

I know it is a false alarm, but there might be another offer. I have heard that they can change and go for something else later. Why don't you ask the recruiter if he goes in early, can he change later on and go for something he wants better, later. I know there are guys that have been in the Navy, Marines, that go for Seals later in their military career, so you must be able to. It is worth a shot. Get him going towards something early, then change later...

[Debbie DeGroot]

It can't be you deciding, because then when BC gets rough, he might somehow blame you. Tell him you support him, and make him decide. Don't hold him back - he can do it. I'm saying a prayer for you right now. Bless you!

[Cindy Proud Navy Mom of Rob]

As I told one friend -I am still shaking and quaking a bit, although I know the moment is well past. I didn't mean it to sound like I was trying to make the choice for him -only use correct wisdom to help him decide which is best for HIM. Sometimes our words cause conflict even greater than what is already had -was just trying to avoid that. After all is said & done, I just want him to be happy with his choice. If he is very uncertain -that may prevent him from getting the best out of it and himself. I want to nudge that youthful enthusiasm and help him to pursue it.
Thanks Jim, tis sure you are right. I thought I had let go in most ways -just that they were in my office suggesting it for the next day and I was totally caught off guard. I usually embrace change but, had a rebellious moment with this particular one. Rob is the last one at home and tis sure I am being a selfish shite about it all. OK, I have been spanked well and am standing tall again with all attitude before me.
I knew I had come to the right place. You are all amazing people. Our kids really are very lucky!

[kelley]

He sounds like the same thing I have been going threw with my son. He was suppose to go July 31. Then he changed jobs and it now may not be untill Feb.24, but they may roll him in early. My son friend also joined at the same time and he was suppose to leave in november he left yesterday, and yes you are right it is a emotional roller coaster!

[MaryHelen]

I wass reading some of the post on holiday stuff. Our son has been home 2 times in 6 years for Christmas. This past one was the best. At 1:00 on Christmas morning our door bell rang and I was in bed, so my husband answered it and I heard this "Hi Dad". Adam had surprised us and came home early form Iraq. It was the best Christmas ever. Due to my husband and Adam always deployed it was the first Christmas in 4 years we had together. When we can have him home I totally enjoy it and when we can't I know I am not the only one andusually have a military person over who can't go home for the holidays..
Mary Helen