Anticipating

[Del El Bor]

My two babies are now adults and both wanted to enlist and no matter what I do, I get the feeling of emptiness already as their meeting with the recruiter is coming near. They wanted to go alone as they said they can enlist on their own. I respect their wishes but it's tearing me apart not knowing what will transpire during their meeting. Is any mom out there not present during this kind of meeting?
Just need some peace of mind and advice.

[Sherry James]

Hi Del,

I hope that is okay to call you Del? Some parents are present during their kids intial talk with the recruiter some are not. First of all, if your children are adults and that's their preference then maybe you can ask them if the recruiter can at least call you soon. That is the only option that comes to mind. When my daughter went to register she was only 17 so she needed my permission or else no go. Sounds like your children are 18 or older. Do they live with you? Try talking to them to express a couple of your concerns. Best wishes, Sherry

[Del El Bor]

Hi Sherry,
I'm so glad to hear from you. Yes, they both live with me and used to have jobs but got tired of them and found the navy more challenging. They're both over 18 and a year apart and both warned me not to call their recruiter.
My husband who was a marine, made me promise not to baby them and to let go and go on with my life. Losing my husband after a terminal illness last year was already hard for me and I have to show to my two boys that I am strong and ready to live without them on my side. Easy for me to say!!! I prepared questions for them to ask their recruiter and they only approved a few of them. I just hope that their recruiter won't hold back any information that they need to know. Thank you so much for the advice. Best wishes to you too and good luck to your daughter. Del

[Paula]

Hi Del, I was not present, my son was first speaking the USMC recruiter. Then he became very involved with SWCC/SEALS. He went to see the recruiter and came home and spoke to me. I Was not for it in the beginning but we all went to a Navy Family Day at a restaurant that all the Navy recruits and families had to go to. Their were Officers down to recruits. They answered every & any question we had. They showed a slide show presentation, went over pay, Credit Unions & jobs. Feel free to call the recruiter on your own, they are their for you as much as the recruit.

Good Luck, the US NAVY is the way to go. Great education & an admiration!

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

Those babies just grow up on us without any warning! I did not go to the recruiter with my son (suspect he thought I would cry or ask way too many questions!) However my husband spent 10 years in the Navy and offered to go with our son - I was happy when they went together for the initial meeting but your sons will go thru the testing processes at M.E.P.S. and much of what their future holds will be a result of their testing and what is available to meet their skills and interest.

I'm glad they will be going thru it together, have faith Del - they have a plan!

[Del El Bor]

Hi Paula,
Thanks for the tip. My youngest wants to join the seals while my eldest master at arms. I will call the recruiter after
writing down all the questions I want to ask.
Good luck to your seal!
Del

[Rebecca]

My son went alone, he ws 24. Not living at home but he was still my baby boy! It was hard not to insist on "butting in" but I had to keep my respectful distance. However, I did call his recruiter after he left for GL. My son is at bootcamp now PIR12/24 and LOVES it. It was a terrific decision that HE made. How old are your boys? Are they twins? Don't worry, they will be fine.

[Susie-Mom of BlackGryphon]

Hi Del,

I went with my son to his first recruiter meeting because he was only 17. He was SUPPOSED to be going for the NAT program, a reserve program that helps pay for college. Once he was in the office, they did the hard-sell and talked him into enlisting for spec ops. I didn't think he was ready, but he had decided this is what he wanted to do, so I had to respect his decision. His father and I have gone back and forth in our feelings about the whole thing, and so did our son at first! He just started 'A' school this week, and is feeling very good about his decision and about himself. The Navy has already given him more confidence!

I will tell you that the Navy (except for perhaps during boot camp) is supportive of family. My son is very close to his dad, siblings and I, but I've heard that some who were not so close to their families gained a new appreciation for them during boot camp and beyond. You will be so excited about all your sons accomplish and SOOOO proud that they are serving our country! You have found the right site for encouragement and information!!! N4M has been a God-send for me! Don't think of it as losing your sons, but as gaining a family. We are all here for you!!!

[Dawna Widmar]

Hi Del,
I didn't go with my son for his first meeting with the recruiter, they talked at the college fair at my son's high school. We knew that this is what our son wanted, so, we gave him the inportant information he needed and met with the recruiters twice. He was only 17 when he signed the papers, and because of his work and school schedule, we talked to the recruiter more often than he did at times. On the other hand, my cousin's son decided to enlist in the Air Force 3 weeks after his 18th birthday, while he was still in high school, and his parents NEVER met or spoke to his recruiter. He didn't even bother to tell them until the day he went to MEPS for the first time.

[Del El Bor]

Hi Dawna,
I'm feeling much, much better now. I'm learning to accept the fact that my children's choice is for their own good and I should give them support and not to worry too much. Good luck to your son and your cousin's son. Both an eye-opener to me. Thanks. Del

[Del El Bor]

Hi Susie,
I'm so thrilled I found this site. I don't feel like an outsider anymore but as a member of this N4M family. I can't wait for my sons to be in BC but still apprehensive. Thank you for the encouragement and an eye-opener. Del

[Colleen]

Hi Del,
There are more moms out there than you think whom have not been to the recruiter meeting. The recruiter will explain how things work, give them a test (education), answer questions and it is really up to the kids on what the result is. EIther they know that this is what they wanna do and are going to schedule their MEPS (physical and educational testing) or they are going to bring the info home and process it all. Some recruiters tell the kids to think about it and they will call back, others may trust that individuals decision. Remember though, just because they go to MEPS doesnt mean they are held by contract at that time. Sometimes individuals dont even pass MEPS because of medical problems. So dont let yourself worry about it. If it makes you more comfortable, call the recruiting office as a parent and ask questions about their process, what happens next, address any concerns, etc. Maybe even make a list for your children to ask. You can also do other research by going to http://www.navy.com or www.military.com. I hope that this helps to comfort you. :)

On a personal level, I am not a parent; I am a wife and was there when my husband went to his meeting. All questions were answered truthfully and we were very pleased with the information given to do additional research if we wanted to. My hubby graduated boot camp recently and I can say already that he made a WONDERFUL choice and in my opinion picked the best military branch. The Navy has been supportive to me and our children, our recruiter kept in contact with me, answered all questions, and has really made me comfortable with this transition. My husband is away at A school as of right now, and I will tell you, if it wasnt for the recruiter and the WONDERFUL people on this website, it would have been a lot harder. The site is great for support and information through personal experience. I think that after talking to some on here and doing research, you will be very comfortable with your sons decisions.

[Del El Bor]

Hi Cooleen,
I have learned a lot on this website! You're one of the wonderful people who not only gave comfort but also gave me a picture of what goes on at MEPS. I did show them a list of questions to ask and only a few were approved. Good luck to your hubby. Thanks to you and N4M. Del