Anticipating

[Del El Bor]

My two babies are now adults and both wanted to enlist and no matter what I do, I get the feeling of emptiness already as their meeting with the recruiter is coming near. They wanted to go alone as they said they can enlist on their own. I respect their wishes but it's tearing me apart not knowing what will transpire during their meeting. Is any mom out there not present during this kind of meeting?
Just need some peace of mind and advice.

[Proud Navy Mom Sue]

I met with my son's recruiter the first time he talked to him. He came to the house and was as concerned about my feelings as he was with my enlisting. After that I never went with him during any of his meetings. He went to MEPS signed into the DEP program and finally went to Great Lakes on Nov. 5th. This was something he wanted to do by himself and he did. He got everything he wanted and will be a Hospital Corpsman. I am very proud of the decision he made even though it is difficult not having him around. Just make sure they know whatever they want they need to get in writing. Then there is no mistake.

[Del El Bor]

Hi Sue,
I let my son read your reply and emphasized on him the part that they need to get it in writing. Thank you for the tip. I'm prepering myself to get used to not having them around and creating that scenario in my mind. Good luck to your son and best wishes. Del

[Cheryl, proud mother of PO2!! Brannon]

I went to the first encounter with a recruiter with my son. We did not get a warm fuzzy feeling and my son went to another location and loved his actual recruiter. I did not go again after that 1st meeting.

I just wanted to reiterate Sue's comment above.... If its not in their contract, they are not going to get it. All you can do is be supportive and make sure they know that one thing!

They may end up with a position in the Navy that they can not tell you what they are doing or where they are going. So.... get used to it!!! and just love them when they come back!

[Elizabeth]

Hi Del,
When both of my boys went to talk with the recruiter (at different times) I didn't go. I stayed home because as a mom this part of their lives was difficult for me. Their father who's a retired Navy chief, went with them if there were any questions. I cried both times very hard when they left. Now, my oldest son is an AT3, married and has a daughter. My other son, will be graduating boot camp on the 24th of Dec. then going to A school. I'm very close to all three of my kids. Thank god I still have a daughter who's 12. She might not leave home, (ha ha) until she's 35. I support both boys in their decisions. God bless you and your family in any choices they make. Be strong for them and please return here for others have been in your shoes as well. Best of luck to you always. . .

[Del El Bor]

Hi Elizabeth,
You have a beautiful family. Made me wish I had a daughter. My two sons, they're all I got and I don't want to see them get hurt but do support their wishes. I do want them to be happy wherever they want to be and whatever they want to do. Good luck and enjoy the holidays with your family. Del

[Kim H. (Proud Mom of Aaryn!)]

Del,
My son met with a recruiter before telling me about his decision, he also took some tests to determine what he might be qualified to do. He wanted to be sure he had all of his "ducks in a row" before explaining his plan to me. My son was 17 at the time and therefore needed my permission in order to sign up. His recruiter requested a meeting with me (prior to signing up) so that he could explain the program (Nuclear Power) and answer any questions that I might have. This was very helpful to me and my questions were answered truthfully. The recruiter also told me that I could call them anytime for any reason (I did take them up on this while he was a boot camp and they were very helpful). You could call the recruiter yourself and either talk on the phone or ask them to set up a meeting regarding the programs your sons are interested in. I'm sure that would be willing to explain these to you.
I wish the best of luck to you and your boys!
Kim

[Del El Bor]

Hi Rebecca,
My two sons are 22 & 21 and everytime I show concern regarding the navy, they always stop and remind me that they're adults and if they make wrong decisions, they'll learn from them. All I could do is prepare their papers they need to show to their recruiter. I like your idea to make a call after they leave for BC. My gut says I should call before they go and take their wrath...hahaha. Everytime they think I'm intervening, they ask why. So, I remind them I'm their mom. Works all the time! I know they will be fine..Thanks for the comforting words. Good luck to your son and best wishes. Del

[Quadralene]

Hello Del El Bor, I was just reading your concern and I'm assuming that your children are older than 17 years of age. When my son enlisted he was 17 and his dad (enlisted as well) and I had to sign our approval. My son's dad at the time of my son's enlisted had been in for about 18 years so it was him that took care of everything and made sure that my son was fine. Being a mom, I know your concerns so I would like to suggest that you call the recruiting station and just ask questions. I'm hoping that you and your children have a good relationship and if not please begin to develop one. Be supportive and have faith.

[Candy]

Dear Del,

Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your husband.

There is alot of excellent advice here! I have two sons that are in the Navy and they went to the recruiter and completed the process on their own. However, I am a retired Navy Chief and my husband is a retired Navy Lieutenant, and my sons' fathers are both retired Navy, one a Master Chief and the other a 1st Class, so they had LOTS of advise to take with them.

But it sounds like your sons have good heads on their shoulders since you said one wants to be a SEAL and the other a Master at Arms! Navy SEALs are required to undergo alot of specialized training and only the BEST make it through. I admire his courage.

Not every job that your sons may be interested in may be available when the time comes to choose. The needs of the Navy come into play and also how well they do on the ASVAB test determine what job would be the best fit for your men. Getting everything in writing is excellent advice. Some jobs have "sign on" bonuses - extra money that your sons would be paid upon successful completion of boot camp and "A" school or other required training for their job. Also, some jobs have reenlistment bonuses. And the advise to call (or visit) the recruiter on your own, even before your guys leave for boot camp, is a very good idea. And they don't have to know! :o)

As a Navy mom, wife, and retired Navy Chief, your sons have picked the best service in the world! And in this very tough time in our economy, I think your sons have made a very wise decision. You must be an awesome mom!

Congratulations and best wishes. Happy Holidays! Sincerely, Candy

[Linda Z]

Del: My son enlisted during his senior year of high school. He wanted join the Navy since 8th grade. We made him wait until he turned 18 before he enlisted - that way it was his decision 100% (not ours). He enlisted in July under the delayed entry program, and met with the recruiter bi weekly during his senior year. They learned the Sailors Creed, did some PT and because we are 3 hours from Great Lakes, they actually got to go on a "field trip" and visit GL. We only met his recruiter once and I am sorry I don't remember whether it was before or after his enlistment. I believe it is best to let them to this on their own as much as possible. It's a growing experience and the sooner they learn to navigate on their own, the better. I remember when they went to MEPS (an overnight stay), 5 guys were kicked out for drinking. Now these guys hadn't enlisted yet, were over 21 etc. They simply were told when they went back to the hotel after the first day of screening not to drink. They ignored the rule. The next day, they were told to call their family or catch a bus home, cause the Navy was not going to allow them to enlist. Another time at Nuke school, a classmate got in trouble. The punishment for the infraction was this person had to wear their uniform during liberty. (it's a big priviledge during school, when your earn the right to wear civies during liberty) Needles to say, this sailor was spotted in a nearby town having dinner out of uniform and was kicked out of the Nukes program. My son has been in the Navy for 2 years, and I am very proud of him. He has grown and matured in a lot of ways. He will be the first to tell you the Navy was the best thing that has happened to him. The best advice I can give you - is what I have to tell my self .. The United States Navy has been doing this for a very long time. My son is not the first sailor nor will he be the last. Probably every situation I can think of (what happens if he gets sick on a sub)... they US Navy has more than likely had a sailor in that situation before.

In short Del, I am sure that you have done an awesome, outstanding job in raising two fine, excellent young men. Now is the time to let go and let GOD and the US Navy take care of them.

[Dee ( Aarons Mom :D)]

I wasnt present when my son made all his decisions. and the next thing i know they are picking him up to take him to Dallas for all that stuff you do.. for me I just had to accept the decision put it in Gods hand and I know that is very hard.. you really have to have Faith and pray alot and for me.. my son just got back from Iraq.. i spent alot of time talking to God.. and I still continue to pray for all those still over there.. Good luck to your babies.... trust them to make the right choices and let them go which for me is still hard Especially when he comes home :(
God Bless you and your Family.. ~ Dee Aarons Mom

[Barbara V.]

hi there del, it is normal that they want to meet with the recruiter by them self , but you can also request that they come to your home , so you can ask the questions that you want to ask. we did that with our son , and it made me feel better of what all was going on. take care and hang in there barbara v.