Daughter having second thoughts..... HELP!!

[apassios]

Hey everyone! My daughter is 17 and will be starting her Senior year this fall. We recently met with a Navy Recruiter and she took a practice ASVAB test, scored a 73, and was to be sworn in this Thursday. Needless to say, she isn't being sworn in, yet. She said she got REALLY nervous thinking about being away from home for so long. I completely understand how she feels. That is a HUGE decision to make at her age. We have a wonderful relationship and I am afraid that because of that, she is second guessing her decision. I personally would feel horrible if it was because of me she chooses not to go. She has been thinking about it off and on for about a year. I told her no matter what her decision was, I would stand behind her. On a personal level, I want to see her join. She is a very intelligent young lady and I think the Navy would give her so many opportunities and I would hate to see her pass them up. She said she can do it physically and I know she could do it mentally. She is a very strong person. She is just nervous about leaving home. I have even talked to her about the option of the Navy Reserves. She seemed interested in that as well. I am hoping that in the next 6-7 months, she matures more mentally and decides to join. Regardless, she has and always will have, my full support. She wants to be a homocide detective. You have to be 21 to join the Police Academy. She talked to her recruiter about being an MA and he said she would be great at it. I just don't know how to be supportive and yet not push her decistion away from the Navy entirely. She has not said yes or no, just I'm not sure yet. She has time, she doesn't graduate until May/June of 2010. My question to you Moms out there is... have any of you gone through this with your sons/daughters? I really want her to go and I don't want to PUSH it on her because she will steer away from it. I just don't know what to do. I know ultimately, it's her decision, but I think she would do great! Any suggestions? Thanks to you all for listening.

[Kim Rezendes]

My son enlisted in the delayed entry program about eight months ago. He was scheduled to leave on June 11, 2009 for bootcamp. Around April he started having second thoughts even though, at almost 19, he only had a part-time job and was currently living with his Dad. I was devasted when he said he decided not to go. Luckly he talked to many family members and realized the Navy was the best thing he could do for a job, career and future. He left on his scheduled date and according to his first letter he is really loving it. Whew!!!! I am so relieved. He really needs the Navy in my opinion... it will supply him with the direction and self-disapline he needs. Not all kids need that but he certainly does.
Good luck with your daugher. I am sure what ever decision she makes it will all work out.
Kim

[Julie K]

My son is similar in that he wanted to be a police officer and couldn't get into the academy until he was 21. He went to college for a year and decided he wanted to join the Navy like his big brother. He also wanted MA - there was no job openings for over a year for that position and so he decided to do the job his big brother does. Aircrew. Our recruiter told us that jobs are not as easy to come by for certain positions as the recession has made a lot of people join the service who otherwise may have not. Ask about how long she may have to wait for an MA position? If it is a year and she has a year left of school, she could wait it out in DEPS. My son wanted to leave ASAP which even with aircrew isn't until Sept. He joined back in March. Good luck to you and your daughter, it will all work out how it is supposed to.

[Sammiejo65]

My daughter and I also are very close and it is very hard on both of us for her to be so far away.Michelle (my sailor girl) is only 18 I encouraged her to attend her DEP program and get a feel for what being in the Navy is all about , It's a great place for her to start her future and has made her a better person , It's a very difficult decission to make but it was the best one she could have ever made. Your daughter will make the right choice for her and getting all the knowledge she can get will help her in her decission as a mom even though it's not easy all we can do is stand beside our soldiers and let them know we love them and will be right here at home waiting for there return. My daughter and I had this talk and it eased her mind a little but now after graduating Boot Camp she is ready for what ever they have to hand her . I tell her the whole world is at her hands hoist her anchor and set sail. sounds kind of corney but for us this works. I wish you and your daughter all the best and hope she will make the right decission for her future with you by her side and thats what she will need to make an informed decission .

[Mama Nonie]

Your daughter is about to start her senior year, she has a lot of decissions to make. Give her time, she will make the right one for her. Just let her know you support her no matter what. My son just recently enlisted, he is excited because this is a great way to travel, see the world, his education is set with a huge scholarship from the Navy at the end of his 5 year enlistment. Tell her to have fun her senior year and everything will fall into place. Good luck!

[cotysmom]

I went through the same thing with mine. I told him that it was life therefore his choice. I never pressured him and he was afraid of the same thing. I raised him,his brother, and sister alone so, it was natural to have those feelings. He is in week 5 of boot camp this week. I believe that she will make the right decision for her. Dont panic.

[De]

Hi! I understand your concern. My son was extremely bright--could have had all A's in high school--IF he would have applied himself! He opted to party around...thinking "his future" was so far away. He started at Purdue...didn't take that seriously either. Then one day he realized that some of his friends were halfway through college or had good jobs already and he was working at a gas station...he was 20! Then told us he had decided to join the Navy! I was...hmmm... speechless!!! He KNEW it was the only way he was going to make something of himself! I was proud that he came to realize that on his own. He was in DEP for several months. He took the best option they offered him after testing...an Electrician's Mate---knowing he could translate the skills he would learn into a civilian career. I am so very proud to say...it was THE best decision he has ever made! The Navy sent him back to us "a man." He is now a Petty Officer, has earned 2 Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals and a 3 yr. Good Conduct Medal!!! My boy.....? He follows rules...he sets goals...he works very hard. He is halfway through his enlistment of 6 yrs. and is considering another 2 yrs. The one thing he regrets is not doing the special testing and getting 2 other people to sign-up during his DEP period (the recruiter can explain that.) That would have put him a promotion ahead of where he is now. He would have graduated PIR with one stripe on his sleeve already! I would suggest your daughter do that. Maybe if your daughter read all of these responses, she could make a more informed decision. Good luck to both of you!

[J.P.'s Mom]

Hi,
Your daughter may also want to research the Navy Criminal Investigator Services. My son graduated from college two years ago with a degree in criminal justice and wanted to obtain a federal law enforcement job. He discovered that it was difficult to get hired on by the government without the veteran's preference points. He was also in DEP for about eight months before he left for Basic on May 12, 2009. He will be entering the Advanced Electronics and Computers A school following basic training. He is very bright, but was "drifting" since graduating college. His letters sound encouraging. Other than not liking "being told what to do" 24/7, he's having fun with his new friends.
Let your daughter know that the best path to a federal criminal investigator's job is through the military! However, she is very young and has lots of time to decide. Bless you both!

[chiefmcd]

Congrats to your son who is obviously focused and getting the most out of his Navy career! I wish him the best and to take advantage of any college courses he could take. It will help him in the advancement process. Also, he should get involved in volunteering in his community when he is not underway at sea. Promotion boards also look at that - especially when it comes time to go up for Chief!

[Debbie (Paul's Mom)]

My daughter AND son decided that the Navy was for them. My son went active Sept. 07 and my daughter went reserve in Oct of 07. The day my daughter was to leave for boot camp, which happened to be my birthday, she had had a change of heart and it was the worst day of my life. She HAD to go to Chicago and she was able to get a discharge but it was just a horrible experience overall for the whole family! About mid way through your daughters senior year, sit down with her and have a heart to heart. I wish I had done that with my daughter. My daughter too is VERY smart and was gong on a 100K sign on bonus and just swore in because her brother did. We are very close and she says she learned a lot about herself those 3 weeks she was there but is glad she is back home. She has a great job and will be getting married in March. Beware of the recruiters though!! They can be very sneaky. Make sure that your daughter is 100%sure BEFORE she swears in and signs anything!! Good Luck to you and your daughter!

[bozman]

My oldest son is in the Army, my youngest son is going to be a senior and is being recruited by the Navy and Air Force (hopefully he picks Navy). I would suggest you and your daughter attend the monthly DEP meetings, even if she hasnt sworn in yet. You will both gain a lot of insight into what is going on and She will be better informed when it comes decision time

[Lina40]

Hi,

I understand what you are feeling...My daughter was supposed to have gone in August of 2008 after she had graduated from high school, she then decide she wasn't ready to be away from home. She decided to stay longer in the delayed program to see if she really wanted to do this and not for me. I was alittle disappointed because I knew she really wanted to do this and I didn't know why the change. At first I thought maybe because she has a boyfriend for the first time and he was distracting her plans. I gave her time and space to figure out what she want to do with her life. Now as of June 1, 2009 my daughter is in the Navy. I just got her letters and she said she doosn't regret it and she admits missing home. But she is looking foward to her future. So, If your daughter is meant to be in the Navy she will find her way there. Just keep showing your love and support.

[Lynn (proud mom of TWO SAILORS)]

Hey
My son is doing the same thing..He was accepted into the Nuke program and is scheduled to start basic in September Now he has changed his mind and want to go back to college to get a second degree. He has his degree in Business but wants to get one in Nursing. Personally I think the Navy would be a wonderful career for him but ultimately it is his decision. My youngest just left for basic today. I also have a son-in-law in the navy. I really don't know what to tell him. He just turned 24 two weeks ago. I know this probably didn't help you. Whatever he chooses..he has my support