Daughter thinking of Joining

[Teresa M]

My eighteen year old daughter is graduating from high school this spring. She announced that she wishes to join the Navy and has been going through the process. This week she will be going through the medical physical and I have such concerns for her since she is my only child. As a young woman, she has never been away from home, and the thoughts of her shipping out with a bunch of young men is frightening since she has lived a very sheltered life. Although I am proud of her making a decision to defend our great nation, I am scared for her. I would very much like to hear from moms whose daughters have joined and what their experiences are. Thank you.

[Emily]

My daughter signed up right after high school June of 07 but didnt leave for bootcamp until Feb 08
she too has lived a sheltered life..she was always home by the time street lights were on..only had one boyfriend in high school ..lasted only a couple of wks because she wasnt willing to put out.
we taught her to take care of herself.
as for shipping her out with bunch of young men frightens you. Not to be mean... but then you might as well lock her up because there are young men all over this world not just in the military,you have young men in colleges...etc

The Navy will teach her to work along side of young men and old.

In bootcamp my daugher was in the intergraded class which means some of her classmates/shipmates were male they all worked together,learn together, eat together however they are housed in different buildings.( NO Hanky Panky Allowed)

Now she is on a Carrier and yes she has males shipmates and she has become great friends with some of them. she never has to be scared. she has a great divison the males and females work along side of each other.. and they all do their jobs.

With that said we did teach our daughter who is an AO ( works with ammuo,weapons) for any reason she feels uncomfortable with male or females shipmates in her department and if she feels that they can cause harm to her or her shipmates then she needs to step up and go to her division officer or her commanding officer and let it be known and if they don't listen to her just keeping going up to the chain of command until that issue is resolved.

[Ronell (jessica's mom)]

Hello. My eighteen year old daughter just graduated from boot camp in October. I am so proud of her. We will be concerned for our kids no where they go or what they do. There are males everywhere your daughter will go so just trust her judgement. Honestly it will be very hard on both of you when she goes to bootcamp. It is the longest time ever because you never know when or if you will get to talk to her. This site saved me. Just let her fly. Love and support will be what she needs. It will be hard for you to have your only child away from you but just concentrate on the awesome things she will do. If she does join be sure and find the group for those graduating the same day that your daughter is. You will be able to talk to parents that have kids with your daughter. Prayers will help get you through. Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Barb J]

Teresa- I know the feelings you are having. Last February my 17 year old daughter came home and said she was joining the navy. Talk about taking your breath away! Since she was under 17 we had to go with her to the recruiters office and sign off that it was ok. The same at MEPS when she was intially sworn in to the DEP program. She turned 18 in May. She signed up for hospital corpsman and unfortunately they are not accepting many females at this time. She was given and entry date for Dec. 3rd. Seemed like it was a lifetime away, but those months flew by! She left Dec 3 for boot camp and will PIR (graduate) Jan 30th. I can't tell you how much I have missed my baby these last 41 days! Believe me I am counting them down. She has called once and written faithfully evey week. I can only tell you I am so proud of her. She is a strong young woman and I can tell by her letters, that her maturity level has escalated in a month! I will be glad to help you along this journey as so many other mothers on this site will. Every emotion, doubt or worry has certainly been experienced by someone on this site. Let me know if I can help and I will be glad to keep you posted on where we go from boot camp. (PS Get all those hugs and giggles in now. Everyone will be a treasure while she is going thru boot camp)

[DawnRae]

My daughter joined @ 17, she went thru the DEP program. She graduated from HS this past May and left for BC a week later in June.She turned 18 in July. We are from a small rural town, POP 1200 give or take. Amber is the oldest of 5. Was "lame" (her words) in HS didn't really date, never partied, went to church. Her focus was on academics and sports. She excelled @ both. I went to the recruiters several times w/ her, they are pretty straight up about what to expect. Made me a little nervous. But thats what she wanted. Signed the papers. She was in an Integrated Division in BC both guys and girls. They do all their stuff together except their housed in diffrent barracks. BC there is not alot of time for "romance". When they get to A or C school it's diffrent. They are still housed seperatley but there are no restrictions on talking and they get their freedom back, can be gone overnite and such. The Navy does have some classes for them on harassment and responsibility and such. They take it serious. Amber told me some of the guys are real "dogs" . Always trying to get some. She was pretty irrated by it. But once they make it known that their not interested and thats not what their about the guys back off and show respect. Trust that you did a good job as a mother, your girl is going to keep the values you instilled. My Amber is headed off Italy, her first station. She was always a great kid but now she is becoming a fine young woman. Hope that helps. DawnRae

[Debbie Proud of My Navy Girl]

Teresa, I am 23 years old and leave for Bootcamp on Feb. 4th. I wish that I had made this decision sooner!!! I think it's great that your daughter has decided to join the military. Since she has lead a 'sheltered' life the military may be safer than choosing to go to college. I have a lot of friends who were sheltered all through high school, they went to college and were niave about men and some ended up drugged at a party and taken advantage of, and some dropped out early because they just couldn't handle the stress. Now they work back in our home town as waitresses. At least in the military you know that there will be officers and recruiters, not to mention her fellow shipmates, they're all looking out for her!! The great thing about the military is the comraderie that you get, I know that bootcamp will be hard but i also know that some of the friends I make there will become more like brothers and sisters and a lot will be my friends for life. She will learn so much and become such a mature person in just a few months, try to think positive and always always support her! Good luck!! Tell her she is going to have a great time!

[Sn Thomas]

well a thing to realize is that the navy also has a significant amount of females also so its not like she gnna be out there with only guys and its also a very professional enviroment if you need any othr information my name is seamen thomas im a navy reservists so send me a message and i can help with any questions u may have

[Andee Weller]

My daughter is thinking about being a CTI in Spanish,
im wondering what her opportunities will be, where she would be going, what she would be doing.
any guidance would be appreciated.

Thank you, Andee Weller

[Brandi]

Oh how familiar the story, however Ashley is not my only child, but she is my only daughter, She joined the beginning of her senior year. She is now in A school training for flight crew. I too was very nervous about how she would handle being away from home. And I also was not sure about the young men thing either. She has surprised me totally, she has really grown up, and has become a very independant young woman, however she does like to still lean on mom and dad when she needs that extra support. She has met many very fine young men and women, they are a support system to each other. Its ok to be scared for her, but trust her and trust yourself that you have raised a fine young lady.

[Anna]

Teresa,
I understand your fears and concerns about your daughter joining the Navy. I have a daughter that joined this past summer just after her 18th birthday. I also have a 24 year old son that served 4 years and got out, and just this past December went back in again. I have two separate perspectives to give you. As many of the other comments have said, there are dangers in many walks of life but on one hand when your daughter becomes a sailor she belongs to the military and the military will take care of their investment. In the civilian world you won't always find an organization that takes care of its employees in the same way as the military. Consider all the benefits - health care and such - but they also help pay for college, will house and feed you - clothe you and give you job security. They also are always willing to teach you your job and the skills you need to do that job. Civilian businesses assume you know the job and that is why you are applying for the position!!
My second perspective is my own decision I made years ago to join the military right out of high school. I was raised in a very small town in rural Ohio. I lived a very sheltered life, was extremely naive about life - never dated and had never spent time away from my family. The military taught me to grow up and to be able to take care of myself. And when times were difficult for me there were always people available to help me. It was hard sometimes because I was very homesick when my first duty station took me to San Diego, CA. It was like another country to me!!! But I've always felt it was the BEST decision of my life. So even tho' I miss MY daughter so much, I know she chose a great career path for herself. She is happy to be independent, proud to be doing something so special, and enjoying the adventure she would not have the chance to do outside of the military. And when she or my son comes home to visit and we go out somewhere when they are in uniform - the people who come up to us, shake their hand and say "Thank you for your service" - well your heart just swells up 1000 times it size in pride.
There are lots of Moms out there to offer you support, help cheer you when you feel sad, or offer a shoulder to lean on - especially on this site. Don't hesitate to reach out!!! If I can help in any other way - don't hesitate to ask! God Bless you and your daughter.
Anna

[Mary-Ellen & Tim]

Teresa:

Our daughter, Bre, entered boot camp on 15-August, 2007, graduated 12-October, 2007 and then attended and graduated from the MAA "A" School in San Antonio, TX. She also led a sheltered life, although she'd done missionary trips to Peru when she was 15 for approximately 10 days and then to Kenya when she was 17 and in her senior year in high school for approximately 21 days. She is only 5ft 2in and 100lbs after boot camp, but she's one tough sailor. She's stationed in Japan for two years. Bre is looking to get her next posting in Europe after Japan.

Your daughter may be a lot tougher than you think. We recommend that you see if she can speak with female Navy personnel for a woman's perspective. Perhaps she should have a meeting first and then you go with her. The Navy is very good at helping women in the Navy. She will need to gut it out sometimes, but, by making friendship bonds she and the other females she associates with, assuming she's a good judge of character, there will be strength in numbers.

Remember, the Navy needs well qualified people and your daughter doesn't have to sign on the dotted line immediately. Also, she can change her mind up until she goes off to boot camp. Make sure everything stated that she will be getting in the Navy is in writing. When she takes the ASVAB test, make sure she preps in advance to do the best possible on the test. The better she does, the greater the choices. Be aware that the recruiters will try to push to fill the specialties that they need to fill, even if other specialties are where your daughter should aim for.

You can't make her, but try to help her realize that if the Navy really wants her, they'll give her what she wants for job opportunities if she toughes it out and sticks to her goals. Bre also got a very nice signing bonus that was payable upon graduation from her "A" school and accepted at her posting in her postion. Different specialties require a certain time commitment for a bonus. For Bre it made sense to add an extra year for the bonus, which is why she signed up for 5 years. She's having a wonderful time in Japan and easily makes friends.

If you want more information or have more questions, please feel free to write us. We'd love to help your daughter and you as best we can.

Please ask us to be your friend so our exchanges can be more private if you'd like. No matter what, though, we'll be glad to help out in any way we can.

Welcome, too, to N4M. We're a large and growing, loving family with a strong common bond, our children serving our country with pride.

Remember, God loves you, and we do too.

Love & God Bless,

Mary-Ellen & Tim

[Cheryl]

Hi, My 18 year old son is going to enlist too! I am so proud of him but could cry at the drop of a hat. I even went so far to buy an artifical Christmas tree for next year just in case he won't be home at Christmas time. That tree will stay up until my son comes home and then we can have Christmas. (I know I sound nuts, but he is my boy). Is there anything that we as parents can expect? My son has only been away from home for short trips too and I am worried.
Thanks

[Kristi (Avalon's Mom)]

My only child (my daughter) joined the Navy in 2004. It's has been the best experience for her. She spent two years in Japan after her tech training and it's was the best time of her life. She got out and experienced everything the Japanese culture had to offer. My daughter was also very sheltered growing up, but she's managed to avoid the party life of the young people and often ends up being the designated driver. She's become a wonderful responsible young woman in the last 4.5 years. She will probably not re-enlist this fall after her five years, but she now knows she wants to attend college and she wants a degree in wildlife management. If I had asked her five years ago, she wouldn't have had a clue what she wanted to do.

As for shipping out with a bunch of young men, just make sure she understands that her supervisors are there to help her out of any uncomfortable situations. My daughter's best friend in the Navy is a young man (no romance) and he often keeps me informed of what's going on. They will make life-long friends in the Navy and have experiences that we will often be envious of. It's not all roses and wine, but no life ever is.

Best wishes to her!