dropping out

[Linda]

Hi everyone. My son just announced to me a few days ago that he is thinking about dropping out of the Navy. He hasn't went to bootcamp yet and he has all ready had the preliminary swearing in. What chance does he have? I don't want him doing this, I want him to go into the Navy (I know it will make him a good man). He said he doesn't want to loose his friends when he goes away. Please help!

[April , PNM of Tyler]

We went through this with our son. He knew that this would be the best thing for him and it would be the opportunity of a life time. We have always told him that if people are your true friends, they will understand why you are doing this and will always be your firends. The ones that are true friends will write or call when you have a phone and be here to see you when you do come home on leave. He was home for the first time in 10 months for Christmas and he was shocked by how many people called or came by to see him while he was home. There was 1 that didn't come see him while he was home, but this kid is one of those that it's better off not having as a friend anyway. He just needs to realize that in this day and age, there are ways for him and his friends to communicate even though they may not be in the same town.The friends that he will make while lhe is in the Navy will be friends forever and a lot of them are more like brothers. He will be surprised by how close they will become and even when they are not underway or on deployment how much time they will actually spend with each other.

[Kimandtheboys]

My son joined about a year ago and is still very, very close to his friends. They text each other, call and talk via webcam regularly. He is home on leave for two weeks and I probably won't see him much until he needs a ride back to the airport! He has a lot of catching up to do, so I am happy he is out having fun and doing all the things he's been missing out on. I really love all his friends.

The neat thing though, has been the friends he has made while IN the Navy. He has formed some strong bonds in such a short amount of time. There is a real sense of "brotherhood" as these guys go through their programs they've chosen.

[Carlotta]

I totally agree with April and Kim. Ipris, please remind your son that them same friends will be there when he comes back, maybe some doing the same things. Believe me this is true. I was hoping that when my son returned home that he wouldn't hook back up with some of of his old friends, but he did (bummer). Not that they were all that bad but some of them are still around here doing nothing with their lives at such a young age and I did not want them to discourage him or persuade him to do things(underage drinking, etc..) that he normally wouldn't do. So far he has keep a level head and lately when he comes home he does not spend as much time with them, if any. Thank God! Also, remind him of all the things the Navy has to offer him that he otherwise would not be able to do, such as seeing the world on others expense, schooling, and meeting new friends. He will love it. I didn't think my son would because it was his very first time being away from home without family but he adjusted well and I don't think you can get him to say otherwise about his choice to join the Navy.

[Tena Fleming]

I think this is a feeling all new recruits go through. I was thrille when my son's time to leave came and he actually went trhrough with it. His friends from home still kept in touch with him while he was at boot camp. He received lots of incouraging letters. They all wanted to know all about boot camp when he got home. A few are even thinking of joining the Navy now. (Guess they wanted to make sure he survived it) Ha!
Don't give up and have his recruiter meet with him OFTEN! This helped our son too!
Good luck and Happy New Years to you!
Tena

[Emily]

My son is in the DEP for the Marines and he too told me couple of weeks ago he didnt want to leave is friends.( some of them I wished he didn't consider as friends)
I told him it was up to him but, if they are your true friends then you will have them for life, and it doesnt matter where you are, they will always be there.


I told him look at all the friends that we have made. we are all spread out all over the states and country,granted we dont get to see them often, but we have phones,internet and we have kept in touch. and when we do get to see them it makes it more special and meaningful.

We live in a small town and there is nothing for him
He just turned 18 so he think he's the man.
He has "NO" idea. I am hoping the Marines will make a good man out of him.

His sister on the other hand couldn't wait to get out of this town. she wanted to go to bootcamp as soon as she signed that paper.

[Lorraine]

My son signed up 2 years ago right after high school, and dropped out before the swearing in, because of his girlfriend. He didn't want to leave her either, and after trying to work and going to college, he decided that he made a mistake by dropping out, He got tired of working for little pay and college was too expensive. He figured that his girlfriend would still be here and he needed to rejoin in order to have any kind of future for himself. He just graduated from BC on 12/19 and although he misses being close to home, he loves the Navy and feels really good about his decision. His friends are still here and he has told his friends about his experiences and has possibly got a couple to enlist. His girlfriend is being really supportive and is proud of him. He needs to realize that his friends are gonna go on with their futures and he can't have them stop him from having one, because in the end when everyone has moved on, he will be left behind and at home. My son ahs made so many new friends in the Navy and it just adds to his list of them, except they come from all around the world now. He love its.

[Beverly Staton]

Ok, I guess this is a topic near and dear to many of us, because as parents we just want to "strangle" anyone trying to 'choke' off our childrens dreams, so it's just too hard not to jump in. {big grin} I love the comments and advice given so far and these Moms' are right on. I'll add a couple of thoughts and a bit of personal experience, if I may.
Your son may not be aware that if he has friends join with him then HE gets a leg up and will jump a rank in pay!! And, funny thing is, it's always those friends that the guys haven't thought about asking to do the buddy plan with that end up jumping right in. However, my bet is, most likely a few are actually giving him a hard time, reminding him of what he'll be missing when he leaves. Not to mention, maybe some who are a bit envious of the fact that he HAS a dream, knows what he wants at this age, and would love to be included, poss. starting to get a little jealous of the attn. & respect he's starting to get from 'the crowd', which will intensify the closer departure time gets. (Other NavyMom's will agree with that statement. Tell him that's just the beginning of the respect & admiration he's going to get! LOL!) (by the way, remember that little piece of advice so many of us got early in life? "Not everyone has the courage to make the choices you've made for your life and rather than see you go off and have everyone talk about your accomplishments - while you're away having a wonderful life - they'll do all they can to tear you down, tease you, "dis" you, etc.) You might throw in there, "Few people in life have the courage to follow thru on their dreams, to go into that 'unknown'. This was your dream, Son, and if you don't think you''ve got the dedication & stamina to really go after your dream at 'this' age, well, you certainly can't expect others to follow & you just need to decide what you do want out of life then. But Son, as I said, this is your dream, your adventure and don't ever let money or your enviroment or your friends sway you from what you really want in life. (in my own conversation with my own Son, I pointed out to him that I would give anything if I'd had his courage at his age {I wanted to be a Dr. in an time when women were Nurses}. Changing your mind about a career choice is one thing, but don't ever let anyone or anything stand in the way of following what God has put into your heart. Because God has a plan for each of us, and the only way we find out what that plan is, is to follow those hopes and desires He puts into our hearts."
Ok, don't know if that helps at all, but it's been about 9yrs since I had that talk with Aaron, so I thank you for the memories. By the way, after recently climbing Mt Fuji with his very lovely wife,who's from the Phil. Islands, (who he met in Japan) Aaron says joining the Navy was the best decision he ever made, says in his billfold he still believes in & carries the little pocket card quoting Jerimiah 29:11, I gave him that day of 'the talk'. God Bless you both.
Love and Prayers,
Beverly

[Joey, Katie's Mom]

This is so hard. They can get out of the it. But if they decide to get back in, it can be very, very hard. My daughter did both. It was so hard on us as well as her. Your son needs to weigh all his options and be sure. With the increase in people joining the service, they are not looking for recruits like they were. The economy is helping them get the recruits they need. My daughter is in boot camp now. I wish she could talk to him because she realized those who were her true friends would still be there. There would only be the 8 weeks with no contact, then they could talk again. I wish you the best.

[Sherry James]

Hi Navy mom to be,

How are you doing with his initial choice to go into the Navy? Has it been worrisome for you? Just wondering because sometimes our own fears, worries and concerns are reflected by our children if they sense that we are anxious. Of course, all of us have been anxious to some degree or another about them joining, going on deployment or overseas, etc.

So if this is the case, I suggest that you try to relax and play like it's not a big deal to you, except that He will be disappointing himself because he did not follow through on his promise and his word. And he will be the one responsible, not you, for whatever actions the Navy takes for him not following through with his promise.

And I'm sure son that this is not the kind of man you want to become, but the choice is YOURS to make because you're a grown man now. And that's what grown men do they make choices and they stand by them.

[Linda]

Well, Josh has decided that he is sticking with the Navy. He is trying to leave in March on April. His original date is August 10. I don't know what got him thinking about dropping out, but he has decided to stay. Thanks for all incouragement.

[Kimandtheboys]

Thanks for the update! We all wish him well with his decision.

[Sherry James]

Awesome decision!! Good luck to you all!!