dropping out

[Linda]

Hi everyone. My son just announced to me a few days ago that he is thinking about dropping out of the Navy. He hasn't went to bootcamp yet and he has all ready had the preliminary swearing in. What chance does he have? I don't want him doing this, I want him to go into the Navy (I know it will make him a good man). He said he doesn't want to loose his friends when he goes away. Please help!

[Joey, Katie's Mom]

Best wishes. I hope he gets his early deployment. Keep in touch if you have any questions. I know this site has been a blessing for me.

[Linda Z]

Linda - Tell Josh that it is the best decision he will probably ever make. My son has been in for two years. Every leave he comes home, visits all his friends at school, and tells me he so glad he is in the NAVY otherwise I would have been kicked out of college by now, or majoring in beer pong. Some of his friends are basement moles, unemployed over 21 and living in their parents basement. Yup Josh, go into the NAVY with economy the way it is, you will get a great education, training and get PAID. Oh, did I mention my son spent 10 days of his last leave in the Carribean with 5 of his NAVY buddies - he would never have done that if he stayed at home. PS My son is a NAVY NUKES.

[Ramona]

HE WILL BE SO GLAD HE DID STAY!! :)

[Cindy Eggert]

If he's been sworn in then, this may not be able to be undone. Your son is facing a maturity crises! He made a mature life decision, and now is looking at it from a kid's perspective. Let us know what the recruiter says. Yes, he'll have new friends wherever he goes and the hometown kids --good and bad-- will still be there when he's on leave.

[Quadralene]

Sorry to hear this Linda. I guess what you really have to do right know is be that shoulder for your son to lean on. I guess we all have had this issue some point in time. Your son needs to know that he has to live his life for himself. Yes no one wants to leave their friends (even family for that matter) but real friends would understand that he has to move ahead (we never move on). I would suggest that you have a talk with his closest friends and try to help them understand why this move for your son is vital. Real friends that would like to see him grow will be glad to help. And my ultimate advice is to seek God. Pray that the Lord leads his spirit to do the right thing.

[Pam]

My oldest son said that .. that he wanted to go to McDonalds Hamburger University. I am so glad that his recruiter was patient with him. To make a long story short. I now have two sons in the Navy. My oldest son teaches Nuclear Power for the Navy in New York, and one of my younger sons joined because of the good example that his older brother is to him. My younger son is stationed up in Washington State.

[Kat'sMom]

He made a commitment, and he needs to follow through. Six or eight years is nada. I would do NOTHING to help him if he backed out of a contract. DO NOT make it easy on him---not for the Navy--they will go on just fine without him because he is NOT the be all and end all--but because when you get to a certain stage in life, you just have to "man up", "grow a pair" or whatever other term you want to employ.

DO NOT treat him like a sweet little three year old. He is not that any longer. Stand firm and let him know you expect him to be a MAN of his word. After the Navy, he can do what he wants.

End of story.

[Donna]

My son joined the Navy in his senior yr of high school.. his so called great friends talked him out of going through with it.. so he didn't.. He hadn't been sworn in yet. So fast forward 2 yrs.. he decides to go into the navy again.. but this time he gets penalized for not following through the first time.. lost many points on his test score and couldn't be what he wanted to be.. but he still went in and has been in for almost 2 yrs he knows he made a mistake not going in.. true friends will tell you to do what makes you happy.. he comes home and still sees his friends.. they still talk to him. a few I wish would disappear out of his life.. but he won't lose his friends.. what he might do and I am still hoping Bryan will do this in time.. realize that some of his so called friends are really friends..and will just bring him down.. Tell him do what HE wants and the rest will work its self out.. truly sounds like his friends are discouraging him..

[Beverly]

Try to explain to him about making new friends. My son was the same way when he left. He is afraid, the unknown is frightening. Take to his recuiter.

[Cathleen]

Linda, I really understand what you are going through. I feel your pain, so to speak. I'm glad your son decided to honor his initial commitment to the Navy though and go ahead with plans to join and go to BC. My son made comments similar to those your son expressed to you! BUT my son Jordan (graduated BC Jan 2 and is in Pensacola as of today) has MADE A LOT OF NEW FRIENDS! He loves people and he was concerned about having "cool buddies" to hang out with. He met MANY "cool" guys (with similar values, etc.) to hang with in BC. He has called from Pensacola twice today and both times used a phone belonging to a new buddy and a roommate (how cool is that??!) I think my son was lonely at first at BC and may think he might be in FL but I told him there have been hundreds of thousands of men and women who went before him and have been successful at BC and in A school, as will your son, if he puts forth his best efforts!
Good luck!!! By the way, my dad had a handful of best friends from the 50's; all from his 4 yrs in the Air Force! My son took that to heart. New friends can be your BEST friends.

[Sheila]

Friendships that are real will last thru time and distance. My son has been in almost 3 years and when he's home he sees his friends and is very proud of what he's accomplished. Some of them are a little envious of him but they're still his friends and the time they get to spend together is special. He has also made the greatest of friends in the Navy. These Guys (and gals) are taught to work as a team. Some have developed bonds that will last a lifetime. When my son calls and talks about his friends it makes my heart smile 'cause I know they're all there for us and for each other. If your son does'nt go he will always wonder what he missed. Whatever his decision is it has to be HIS. Be supportive. although my son is on the other side of the country, and sometimes on the other side of the world, I feel closer to him than ever before.

[Debi Uron]

Bare with him. He has alot on his plate. My son did the same thing. When we went to meet with his DEP recruiter we had a solid 2hr talk and he realized that he was scared and was backing out for all the wrong reasons. After the talk he signed a new contract. He graduated bootcamp Oct 2008 and is finishing up A school as a Corpsman on Feb 27. Have him go with you and talk to recruiter and see how he feels after that. Good luck and many prayers. Ps my son talks to his friends now more than he did at home especially on facebook. When he comes home they welcome him with open arms and let him know how proud they are of him. Plus all the letters he recieved in bootcamp from them ment the world to him.Debi