Flew out today and is just arriving at Great Lakes

[R.L. Wood]

Well, I'm the Mom of a Navy Sailor as of today after dropping our oldest of three off to the hotel last night. He grew up in the military as his father (also my husband of 21 years) was a lifer in the Coast Guard...so this is second nature to him. Of course I didn't think my heart would break like it did. I haven't felt that since the day my spouse left for A-School in 1988 and then again on his first tour of duty onboard a big white one.

As I write he should be arriving at Great Lakes.
This is quite an adventure and I'm glad I found this board.
I was a member of a Coastie Wives forum for many, many years - but when it's your child leaving and heading out into the world....well, this is just a whole different experience.

Thanks for a friendly place to visit and connect. I will be here often.

[Joan B.]

Hi, I take my son to his recruiter this afternoon and he flies to G.L. tomorrow. He's my eldest of 3 as well. It helps to have 2 others to keep me occupied here at home. I'm timing him right now to see how fast he can shave since we know they don't have leisure time. He made it in 3 minutes 41 seconds with no knicks.

[Sandy SC]

Hi Joan,
My son was in Albuquerque last night and at MEPS today. As far as I know, he flies to GL today or tonight or maybe tomorrow. Don't know. Sounds like our guys might be in at the same time though. Keep in touch and let me know what you find out and so will I. Are you nervous? How old is your son? Where are you from? I would like to find other families that are having their kids enter this week. Take care, Sandy

[Dianne]

Hi RL, just thought I'd share...
Here's what to expect...
1. About 4 days after your son arrived in GL you will receive "the box" of all his stuff.
2. About 1 week later you will receive a form letter, which gives you info about boot camp, his address and a two line note from your son.
3. About the 3rd week you will receive your first letter from him. After that you should receive one letter a week. They are given time to write on Sundays.
His first two weeks will be the hardest, so don't be surprised if his first letter isn't an upbeat one. After that they get into a routine and it gets easier on him. In fact, if you were to ask my son today, he would say he liked boot camp. They LOVE getting letters, so write everyday!! Hallmark has some nice military cards. Do not send musical cards, the RDC's hate them. Also, do not put stickers or things on the envelopes, just regular envelopes, nothing that stands out. I wrote most of my letters on the computer and added a photo to every letter. As for phone calls, well, I didn't get any, but if your son has a NICE RDC you will probably get one around week 3.
One more thing...his recruiter will have access to his address 72 hours after arriving at GL. Call him get it and start mailing letters!!! Hope this helps. You will be surprised how fast it goes and then you will be at his graduation with so much pride!! Hang in there! We are all here for you!

[R.L. Wood]

Thank You Ladies!
I have orange envelopes because we are huge TN Vols fans.
Is that going to be a problem? Will he get picked on or something?
He didn't really go there with anything other than the clothes on his back so I guess his box will be fairly light. SMILE!

Thanks for the run down.
Gives me an idea of what is going on.
In this world of cell phones and email...to not have access is maddening.

[BethB]

Diane - I'm surprised to hear that I might not get ANY phone calls - depending on if he has a "nice" RDC. You have got to be kidding, I hope. My son has been gone for 2 weeks, and I an really hoping to hear something from him soon, other than the kid-in-a box and form letter. And if it turns out that he has a real prick for an RDC - well, I do have my flight arrangements for PIR, and I'm quite sure that I will have a few choice words for the "man". I guess since they don't get conjugal visits, the RDC's have to get their jollies somehow --- oops, my bad for the day! Seriously, can they really not allow phone calls, even as the time gets close to graduation?

[Karen - Proud Mom of Amber]

Nicely worded.

[Kathy J's Mom]

Purple Pig, I mirror what you have stated.
Beth B., my son graduated on 1/15/09. No, I did not receive a phone call from him on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. This was the choice my son made to defend his country. Those RDC's have a job to do and are to be respected for the wonderful job they are doing.
What I could not do in 18 year the Navy (RDC's) did in 8 short weeks.
In case you donot believe that these RDC's are dedicated here is the address to site that you should view prior to trash talking people you ahve never met.
You have stated that you have your flight arrangements for PIR? Just remember your son is still under the RDC's care until he moves on to A school. I would keep your few choice words to yourself. We cant think these all we want but it really is best not to express it out loud as the Purple Pig has stated.
Please check out the link below.
http://www1.netc.navy.mil/nstc/rtcgl/recruits/video.html

[Dianne]

BethB, the first time my son's division EARNED a phone call was the day my son had his wisdom teeth pulled, so he couldn't call. The second and last time they EARNED a phone call it was raining too hard and the RDC did not want to take them to use the phone. Phone calls are earned, they are a priviledge, not a right. So seriously, the only phone call I received was after he passed battle stations (their "final") and we were already in Chicago for graduation the next day. It was extremely tough, because other divisions got to call home many times. It all depends on the RDC. I know that 60 second call when they first arrive they are all told to say, "I will call again in 2 to 3 weeks", but it doesnt always happen that way. On the bright side somehow we all make it through, we attend graduation, and it all turns out to be SO WORTH IT!!! My son is so happy, and I'm so proud!!

[BethB]

Thanks for all of your replies. I guess you can tell that I'm not a "hoo-rah" kind of military mom. It would be nice if the exposure and experiences that I have had were a positive as yours. I have immediate family and friends that have served in all of the military branches in commissioned and enlisted positions, from Viet Nam through all of these current situations. I have seen them changed, and not always in a good way. Torn families, abusive behaviors, mental anguish, egotistical attitudes, and lives spent trying to get back to some sense of a normal state. Yes, I know about the necessary training, where certain positions require lessons in evasion, capture and torture. I know about mail censureship and lack of contact due to actual war situations. Been there, done that, still doing it. I very strongly support the troops that are doing their jobs, but oppose some of the archaic and abusive methods used, and the unnecessary political agendas that put our kids in harm's way. I know that there are good people in charge as well as bad. The way my son had to grow up with an abusive father, and the character that he has turned him into a "man" long before the Navy got hold of him. He certainly was no spoiled little whiner that needs whipped into shape, and that it is a team effort and all must enjoy the good as well as suffer the bad together. He will receive good training, lifelong friends, and more opportunities that this economic times present to the civilian sector. It's just a sad commentay on the state of God's world that we need to prepare our kids for all of the uglies that are out there, that we need this at all.
I apologize if anyone is or has been offended. I really wish that I could somehow find what you guys have found, in accepting this as being a good thing, when all I have seen in my experiences are the bad. I would love to have that faith and peace of mind. I guess the biggest problem I have with Boot Camp is that I was not always able to protect my son when his dad was on the rampage, and can only imagine that the training is going to be just like that. Another sad little commentary would be that Boot Camp probably is more like "summer camp" after what he's already gone through. So please forgive me if I'm not all that gung-ho about it. After all, there is a line drawn in Boot Camp that wasn't there when he was little, and that even as a job, yelling demeaning and abusive tactics kind of remind me of "prick" behavior -- still need a few more years of counselling, I guess, to get over that one.

[R.L. Wood]

My son - who arrived at Great Lakes on Monday - comes from a long line of military men as well. We're on our fourth generation of sailors (Navy and Coast Guard). I will tell you that our men are strong, family oriented, dedicated and faithful. Yes, in that mix were some controlling behaviors that are par for the course if you are in the service but that is why these men meet and marry strong women who can handle and work through some of these behaviors that surface in the home when they should be kept at work. My son put up with a lot as a kid - a strict but forgiving and loving mom (me) - and a strict but not always present father (my spouse who is a Coast Guard lifer that spent 14 years at sea). He TOO grew up quicker than others because of this...and he will be one of those at boot camp who stands, when others crumble under the pressure applied.

Your anguish over your son's rearing and the fact that his father is abusive is hardly the result of any choice your boy made - nor it is the fault of any drill instructor/PIR - or anything that has happened in the world around him. Unfortunately the price for bad choices parents make is paid for by generations that follow.

It is my suggestion that you take a deep breath, loosen the apron strings a bit, and keep your eyes looking forward instead of back. This experience is about him - about his new life - about his choices - his decision to keep this country free and if you feel anything it should be "Well Done" for your boy - not "whoa is me". Stay positive in your talk. Stay positive in your letters. Stay positive in your mind. Allow him to make you proud as a mother of a service member.

[BethB]

Thank you , thank you so much for your kind and wise words. You are absolutely right, all the ghosts that I thought I had put behind me came screaming out as soon as I learned of his enlistment. That is something that I have to deal with. I'm just really hoping that those same ghosts have not come up for him, and the right words of encouragement at the needed time could possibly give him the strength and courage to find it within himself to put aside as well. I know he has to depend on his fellow sailors for support, but this isn't exactly the kind of issue that any man would put out there. And once he's through it, I will be so proud that he has not let that get in the way of his goal, and is able to withstand the pressures of his new beginning. I guess that's why I'm so anxious for a call - to make sure that he is not having the same problems that I am, not to hear if he's being tucked in at night. And my letters are all full of encouragement, but it's just not the same as hearing the tone in his voice. I'm not exactly a flag-waving proud Navy mom yet, but I really want to get there, since this is his dream and I want to be supportive in truth, not just putting on the brave face. The other bigger concern I have with this chosen path of his is that I spent a lot of time trying to make him aware that there are certain behaviors that are not acceptable for a successful and happy life, and all of this "training" is kind of reinforcing that the yelling and demeaning tactics are indeed acceptable, and that there is a given chain of command that is above reproach or question - which I know spills over into domestic affairs once the sailor/soldier returns home. Only time will tell if I have managed to break the cycle, and that this is indeed building even more character, and I'm with you where he needs to choose wisely a strong woman (as you seem to be) to share this kind of life with. Yes, I want to be proud of him as a service member but more importantly, I want to be proud of him as a decent human being. I would have like to email you personally since this is such a public forum, but that's understandably and rightfully so blocked. It's people like you who have the realistic and positive understanding of things that are helping me get through this, rather than all the comments and statements about how we are just missing our little boys. Sometimes there's more beneath the covers, and I'm greatful that you see and understand that, and have been a big instrument in the start of me getting my "sea legs" back under me.

[Robin]

My son left 02/03/09 and I can't help wandering how he is doing, I am so proud of him and hope he learns to become part of a team and do the very best. He has been taken care of for 20 years and now it is time to step into something challenging and rewarding. Any advise for new moms would be great. Glad I found this site it will surely keep me busy.