Going to the recruiter with my son?

[MissUAlready]

I scheduled the 1st meeting with the recruiter on behalf of my 17 yo son. I thought because he is a minor I would have to be there; and because I am his mom I WANT to be there. He can be somewhat niave and I don't want him to get persuaded.

I was speaking with someone about the appointment and they asked if I should go with him or if that would make him look like a baby. My first reaction what...wut? This person can be VERY opinionated and backwards with this stuff...but I thought I would throw it out there because I have been accused of "babying" my son too much.

Did you go with your child to the recruiter meeting?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and suggestions.
Stacey

[Suzanne]

In short - I'd let him go by himself.

But here's the LONG story... my son was 17 when he first expressed an interest in joining the military. When he decided on the Navy (we did have several long discussions at home about the various branches) he made the initial contacts with the Navy and his recruiter. After several meetings with his recruiter, he ask ME if he could bring the recruiter home to meet ME. I had a chance to meet his recruiter at my own home, where I felt more comfortable. After spending an hour or so listening to to the recruiter, I was able to ask the questions that I needed to get the answers that I felt were necessary. Of course, since my son was a minor, I needed to sign all the paperwork before he went to MEPS. My son was in the Delayed Entry Program (DEP) for over 7 months before he left for Boot Camp.

If I has it to do all over again, I'd do it the same way. My son was so proud when he brought his recruiter home! And I felt so proud that he had done this on his own, his way.

It worked for us, but I can't speak for everyone. Good luck!

[MissUAlready]

Thanks Suzanne...I didn't realize they would go to your house.
The DEP 7 months...was that by your son's choice? My son is hoping to go at the end of summer.
Thanks again

[Suzanne]

Yes, that was his choice - kinda. He was in high school at the time and needed to wait until after graduation. And he had a birthday about the same time and wanted to be home for his 18th(since he knew that he may not be home again for his birthday for some time). He left a few weeks after his birthday. Good luck to you and your son. Keep us posted on his journey!

[Dawn (Sean and Shane's mom)]

And, the DEP program counts toward retirement time...or time in...

[Brenda Sue]

Well, here's my story - My son was 18 and had already signed papers when he told me! Later as I was dropping my son off at work - I had just gotten out of the shower, I was barefoot and my hair was stringing wet - I passed the recruiter's office and went in BAWLING!!! They said that since he was 18 they could not talk to me without him there. Then, they also offered to come to my house and visit with me and Derek. Two recruiters came - and they still talk about the cookies I served every time I go visit their office now. They sat at visited with us for a couple of hours. So, I assume they will come to your home also!! Good Luck with your Navy adventure!!

I would definitely tell my son NOT to sign any papers until you have had a chance to talk with them also!!

[Achseh]

Let him make his initial foray into the recruiters office, but also make sure he knows that you want to meet the recruiter, get your questions answered AND you want to sit with him at the classifiers to make sure he gets what he wants and can walk away if it's not what he wants. A contract is a contract and that's all the classifier is interested in- filling positions with bodies whether those bodies want them or not.

[Lily AJ]

My son was 18 when he joined DEPS, and before he signed anything I went to meet with his recruiter with book in hand of the many questions I wanted to ask......the recruiter was more then happy to meet with me and answer questions.......I do not think you are babying your son.....you are just a concerned parents as most of us are. I would strongly suggest going to meet with his recruiter......also you will learn on alot on this forum.
My son has already graduated BC and is in school in MS and should be finished from there, then hopefully home for a few weeks, before we thinks he goes off to Hawaii.
Good Luck.

[Kirsten]

Hi MissUalredy,

Lee went to his recruiter alone for the first time, we thought we give him that freedom as he talked about it for so long. After the second meeting when everything was set in stone for Lee he brought his Recruiter to our home. My Hubby is retired Army so he knew all the questions he wanted to ask, lol, and he sure did. Lee's Recruiter was awesome and very upfront. If you get the feeling that yours is not the right person then you can always request a different one.
Kris

[MissUAlready]

Thank you everyone so much!
I asked my son last night what he wanted and he does want to go alone. His only concern is he doesnt know how to get there...lol! Guess I need to show him how to run a map.
I appreciate all your advise. I will let him go alone and then request to meet the recruiter for my questions later.
Good luck to you and yours! Thanks again!
Stacey

[Hoppi aka Angie]

LOL! Tell him not to pick QM as a rating.

[Chris A.]

My son actually talked to the recruiter for several months before he told me anything about joining the Navy. He's older so didn't need my permission but he still ran a lot of the stuff by me to get my opinion.

Let your son go in by himself but tell him not to sign anything until you've had a chance to review it. Then when all your questions have been answered to your satisfaction......and yes, the recruiter should be willing to come to your home.....and he's ready to sign up, get everything in writing. Verbal promises are worthless, it's only valid if it's in writing and signed by the appropriate person.

[MsV54321]

We went with our son, and never got the feeling by anyone in the Navy that we were not wanted there. He was in the DEPS program his senior year in high school, wasn't 18 until the end of DEPS, and high school. We even went to MEPS, and were included as much as could be. When our son chose his rate, we were right there, and included in the discussion.
There were a few times the recruiter came to our house, he knew we'd be there, it was pleasant for all concerned
I got the impression that they rely on parental support, makes for better sailors .