Going to the recruiter with my son?

[MissUAlready]

I scheduled the 1st meeting with the recruiter on behalf of my 17 yo son. I thought because he is a minor I would have to be there; and because I am his mom I WANT to be there. He can be somewhat niave and I don't want him to get persuaded.

I was speaking with someone about the appointment and they asked if I should go with him or if that would make him look like a baby. My first reaction what...wut? This person can be VERY opinionated and backwards with this stuff...but I thought I would throw it out there because I have been accused of "babying" my son too much.

Did you go with your child to the recruiter meeting?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and suggestions.
Stacey

[mishesmom]

My daughter went first time alone - and before she left she made an appointment for my husband and I to go with her the following week.....I'm still in a bit of shock - this is all way to new for me.... She's taken her ASVAB and is going for the physical Monday - From what I'm told, at that point she'll know what "jobs" she qualifies for. It's a whirlwind (for me at least)

[Dolores]

Hi Stacey: My husband and I went with our then 16 yr. old son to the recruiting office as my son wanted to join the DEP program after his junior year of high school. At that time we could not sign him up, we were told we had to wait until he was 17 and to get back to them his last day of school. We have an appointment set up for tomorrow evening with his recruiter at our home. I feel it will be more personal, more comfortable for us and my father-in-law can be there as well as he is retired Navy and can think of things to ask that we may not. I personallly feel it is important for parents to be involved in the decision making process and be a part of it. I would not have it any other way. Let's face it, at 17 years old they are still kids and don't think to ask things like an adult would. No you are not "babying" your son - you are a mother who cares and wants to be a part of this special time in your son's life.

Good Luck!

Dolores

[Natalie]

I don't feel you are babying your Son at all. You are his Mother. You have a right to know what is going on in his life and to protect him from anything. My Son is 24 and I scheduled a meeting with his recruiter. I was glad I did. She answered a lot of questions I had. Questions like, who do I call in case of a family emergency?

[Granny Malyndah]

Stacey,

When my son began the process his Dad and I both went with him to the recruiter and we took him for his physical. We took him to MEPS and we witnessed his signing and his swearing in. I have pictures of both. I was, quite frankly, amazed at how many kids were going through the process not only without a parent, but without a parent's knowledge. We made sure he knew as much as possible about what he was getting into and his Dad and I read his contract before he signed it. Since he left in January 06, we have been present in Great Lakes for his graduation, Norfolk for the christening of his sub The North Carolina, and her commissioning ceremony in Wilmington. He recently passed his E5 test and is now a Petty Officer 2nd Class. The Navy has been a very positive experience for the whole family. My son has already re-upped. Proud? You bet!
My advice - be as involved and supportive as you can afford to be. The travelling wasn't cheap but I will always be grateful for the opportunity and the memories of my son's Navy experience.

Go Navy!

-Melinda

[Vernita]

I agree with Brenda Sue. Make sure you both know what he is signing up for. My son went to the recruiters on his own and then asked his dad (retired naval officer) to go with him. Wouldn't let me step foot in the door! (some sort of man to man thing!) But parents always bring in another viewpoint. He will have the final say but recruiters do have to meet a quota every month so get everything promised in writing. The neat thing for us was my hubby got to swear our son in and I was there to see it. They actually gave us the room to our selves and told us to take as much time as we needed. So Jake was sworn in and we said our congrats and then he thought we should leave.....I could have hung around forever until they all left for boot camp!! But I think he wanted to be one of the guys because we were the only parents there. So we said are goodbyes and I didn't cry until I was in the car.....I was so proud of myself! But even more proud of my son and his choices!

Your son has already made a good choice.....he chose the Navy.....Good Luck with the whole process!!

[Nancy, Drew's Mom]

your husband swore him in? how cool was that. I was there for my sons swearing in (and the intense pride)and i can't imagine THIOSE emotions you felt. awesome to be a navy mom

[Nancy, Drew's Mom]

Please make sure that you go w/your child, after all he is still a minor.. And sometimes they can just live for the moment(remember those days. Also I found some of the recruiters overbearing, some seemed like they could care less but others were very involved. Try to get your son with a recruiter that will mentor him if he is in the dep. My son ended up with a lousy recruiter but he had the drive so it didnt matter. It still would have been nice. My son is now finishing A school and we still have never heard from his recruiter. Just make sure you get one that really cares about your sons future. But anyways, My sailor is doing great and LOVES military life! Good luck

[Pat (Mom of Jenn)]

First Meeting by themselves. Even though they are our babies, this is a first step toward a very big decision on their part. I was nervous but let her do it on her own, and then when she had pretty much made up her mind, she invited me to go and meet the recruiter and ask all the questions I had. She also was in delayed entry for almost a year, and I got to know the recruiters very well, and when she finally signed, she had a nice sign on bonus and the career choice she wanted, and it actually did happen the way they told me it would. Hang in there, I know how hard this is. Just wait till boot camp, if you think this is hard, but that's a whole other discussion.

[Dawn (Sean and Shane's mom)]

I say ABSOLUTELY go!!! I dont have a problem calling the recruiter or going with my two boys that have joined. My ex was a Navy Recruiter for 6 years when the kids were little...guess thats where that comes from but, I have been to the office and have called their recruiters....no guilt! They are MY boys.

[Tastywashington]

I just recently as Tuesday accompanied by Sailor for his final paperwork signing. I remained in the background, but within earshot. I had reservations about "babying" him too, but I had to have peace within myself that he was aware of all of the options available to him.

[Becky (mom of Adam)]

Absolutely go with him! This is a huge, life-altering event. Would you have him do the college search, meet with admissions, take campus tours and all the other stuff to get into college by himself?? I don't think so. And that's only 4 years ... this is potentially the rest of his life!

My son Adam was 19 and definitely wanted me at the recruiters. He said, "You always ask questions that I never think of." And now that my younger son Jeff is about ready to sign up for DEP, I was telling Adam that I'll be going to MEPS with him. Adam said, "Why didn't you do that with me?!!" LOL.

I always felt my job was to play devil's advocate with Adam. "but what about ..." — "what happens if..." "remember what the recruiter said about ..." They need to make sure their eyes are wide open about it and to know they have to live with their decision. Once they start boot camp, though, they really are on their own, so you need to get your little fingers in this process as much as you can BEFORE it's final and possibly too late.

You need to be his advocate. That's not 'babying' — that's good parenting.

good luck to both of you!

[Cheryl]

Hello,
I went to the meeting with my son and the recruiter. My son is a senior in high school and he is 18 and he wanted me to go, this way I would hear things that he may have missed. I know he is technically of age but I am his mom. The recruiter was great, he didn't mind me being there and even incouraged it. He gave me his card and told me to call if I had any questions. Please don't feel like you are making your son look like a "baby", our job is to make sure our children grow into wonderful adults.
My son will be enlisting soon and planning on going in October.
Good luck!!
Cheryl aka Glenn's mom, CT