How to help mom deal with me leaving.

[Faith89]

Hello. I was just wondering how I would be able to help my mom cope with me shipping out for BC in a few months. I want to tell her not to cry when she drops me off at the recruiting office but is that going to be a weird request. I just think it would be easier if she didn't cry. Any advice would help.

[Barbara's Page]

Dear Nicole,
You are your mother's baby girl, let her cry. We all did it for our children when they left for Boot Camp.
I'm sure your mother is very proud of you, but still, you will always be her baby. As a good jesture, you can supply your mom the tissues!! She will cry, that is expected.

Just keep reminding her, how much you love her, and that your enlisting in the Navy is a wonderful future for you.
Please, tell her to join Navy for moms. We have all been there. We will help her through your leaving for Boot Camp.

I want to Thank You for serving our country. I wish you all the best in your future.

Take care and God bless.
Barbara

[Melissa (Tucson)]

Well said Barbara!

[Barb Pruitt]

Nicole, You are a wonderful daughter to think of your mom. But trust me as a navy wife and mom of a daughter and son in the navy, there is no getting around the crying part. I have always told my kids, when a parent cries for something good or bad, they only cry because they love the person who they are crying for. So sorry, you will see tears and LOTS of them. My daughter has been in two years, and each time I pick her up at the airport I sit and cry. And I see my daughter every 4 months or so. Someday may you be blessed with children of your own, and then you will see what I am talking about. Good luck and have fun, your life is just starting.

[Marie]

Me too, Barb. Every time I pick her up and every time I take her back. And sometimes after we talk on the phone. Its just part of it.

[Marcela]

Hi Nicole,

It is ok to cry. It actually helps getting our sadness out of our system. My son is in boot camp and it is very hard for me. I actually started a new project in my house and I am planning to take a photography class. Maybe you can help your mom get involved with a new activity before you go, it helps to stay busy. Remind her that you probably will not be able to call her for a few weeks and the only time you can write is on Sundays except for the fist Sunday, so it may be 2-3 weeks before she gets your first letter or call. I didn’t know that and I was very worry. I feel better now that I know the process.
Nicole, this is probably hard for you as well, but remember all hard times do come to an end. My son was supposed to be in boot camp for 10 weeks, but he called me and now they reduced his time to only 8 weeks.

Good luck and God bless you!

[Barb (Ryan's Mom)]

Bring lots of tissues!! Let her cry, you will probably cry too. This will be an emotional moment not to mention an emotional journey for both you and her. Show her this site she will get lots of support and info.There is so much to learn.Good luck to you ...... and your mom. All of us on N4moms know how difficult that day was, but know this, we are also the proudest people she'll meet!

[Jo Griffith]

I remember taking my son to the MEPPS center here in town and feeling like I had been punched in the stomach when he got in the cab for the airport. He, too, had begged for no tears and I almost made it, but I cried buckets once he was gone. Moms are like that. We cry at weddings, first haircuts, graduations, lots of things. It is not to make you feel badly, it is to make us feel better.

Suggest she bring a friend who can help her digest the day. My husband had died many years ago and I did not think to have someone with me who could help me get through it. Having a friend to talk to would have really helped.

I am proud of you for being concerned about your mother and appreciate you joining the Navy. Thank you for your service for our country. GO NAVY!

[Carla Street]

My guess is that if you are writing this you and Mom are pretty close. As the others have said, expect the crying. You and her both. Has she joined a support site? That helps because knowledge and research helps. Involve her in the planning as much as possible. Make sure she knows about "the box" (when they send your things back to store from when you get to RTC.) and let her know what she can do to help you. Both of you will find that your relationship will revolve from one where she feels she has to "do" for you to support and helping you find your own way. Also for her to start working on things SHE wants to do, like Marcela said, not just doing for you. Involve her in your triumphs and accomplishments. Thank her for raising you right and setting you up so you can suceed. Write her at boot camp, for sure! If you don't they go nuts, LOL. It will be some of the only hand written letters you ever write each other. It can be VERY cool. Assure her that you're okay and handling it and lean on her if you need to but make sure she knows you're okay!!! You're both going to be on an amazing journey. Hugs to you both.
Carla Proud mom of navy vet sailorette, Julie

[Linda]

Nicole,
You have received alot of great advise here and like everyone said your mom will cry. Make sure that she knows she can watch you be sworn in and she can also go to the airport with you. Tears will flow but, they will be tears of letting her baby go and the pride she has for what you are doing. Thank you for serving your country and please tell your mom to come here and cry on our shoulders. we will be here waiting for her


Much love and hugs
Linda

[Faith89]

Thank You to everyone for your great advice! I have done a lot of talking with my mom. She says she won't cry atleast not until I'm in the shuttle leaving for MEPS but I have a feeling they will come before then. I will try to convince her to join this site but she doesn't like to spend much time on the computer so we'll see.

Again Thank You for your advice.

[Sandy]

Hi Nicole...just wanted to say that your mom should be so very proud of the caring daughter that she has raised!! You said that you weren't sure if she'd join this site (N4M) and I'm here to tell you that I wasn't much of a computer user myself but am now ADDICTED to this site!! LOL :) This site is home to the most supportive and wonderful group of women that I have ever had the pleasure and honor of knowing!! I couldn't have made it through the ups and downs of the last 5 1/2 months without their love and support and now get on the computer several times a day to check my messages and my groups. I have made many friends that I now talk to on the telephone as well that I met on this site. When I went to boot camp graduation (P.I.R. or Pass-in-Review) I actually sat with a group of the women that I talked to regularly in my group!! It is so wonderful to be able to talk to someone who actually KNOWS firsthand what you are experiencing... I wish you the best of luck, Nicole, and want to thank you for dedication in serving your country... Hugs ... Sandy

[Deb--JonMichael's mom]

Hate to tell you sweetheart, but any mom, worth her weight, IS GONNA CRY---and probably not just once. It is normal, acceptable and encouraged. I concur with the others, who have commented, the best thing your mom can do is GET INVOVLED---hit the groups, forums, chats, make "friends" with other moms who are in the same Division, or not!!! I have met some really cool people, particularly moms, throught Navy4Moms---which is something you REALLY want to encourage her to do---get her started NOW on Navy4Moms---it will probably be a big help when it comes time for you to ship out. One of the moms I met, actually was at my house last night, sharing her video of her son's recent graduation from Boot Camp. As it turned out, she had video and pictures of my son, who was in the performing Division for her son's graduation. You never know where, or who, God is going to lead you to or bring into your life. Have faith, encourage your mom, spend lots of time together and be very grateful and thankful you have this kind of relationship---not everyone does. Have your mom contact some of the moms who have responded! It will be time well spent and invested on her part---and on ours!!