How to help mom deal with me leaving.

[Faith89]

Hello. I was just wondering how I would be able to help my mom cope with me shipping out for BC in a few months. I want to tell her not to cry when she drops me off at the recruiting office but is that going to be a weird request. I just think it would be easier if she didn't cry. Any advice would help.

[Sheryl]

Yes, she is going to cry. They are tears of pride, seeing that there walks a capable adult into a life all their own. Although it won't be true, she'll be feeling 'my baby doesn't need me any more" among other things. Hold her, remind her you could never have gotten this far without her love, that you'll write when you can but it won't be often since time is so limited. Tell her the first allowed phone call will be to her. This is a door to opportunities you wouldn't have otherwise. Tell her you NEED her to write you as often as possible! And you might want to mention thaqt when the time comes to start trying to figure out if she can afford to come to your graduation, Kenosha Wi is only a little north of the base, and that one mom you heard from (me) stayed 10 days in a motel there for what other families spent per night closer to Great Lakes. The trains even ran up there. Last that I can think of, remind her she helped you become someone capable of making this choice, and that you'll still be her baby no matter what. She is still needed. That ought to make her cry harder for a minute, but she'd feal REALLY bad if she didn't cry. All of us here are waiting to help her, so maybe you can help get her signed up before you leave. Good luck, work hard. Thank you for doing this for all of us here at home.

[Barb (Ryan's Mom)]

Hello again, I Left you a comment awhile back ... I have a suggestion for you. Before you leave for boot camp, show your mom this site, teach her how to navigate around different sites and pages. She will see the thousands of people who are just like her.....needing lots of support, getting great advice and all her questions answered . I think this would be a great gift to her.......

[Patricia from MN]

I agree, she will know others have felt and experienced the same things. One of the hardest things for me is I just wanted to "feel" her and what a comfort to know others felt the samae thing to just get a hug...Our children are always our "children" but we also have to let you grow up, loving you all the way. The Navy is a great venue to allow that to happen. Good Luck and take courage you can and will do it.

[Elsie mother of navy kids]

HI well i dont no one can really prepare you for that day just pray about it have faith in your son they are stronger than you think...my son 21 left in nov 08 for boot camp missing all the holidays and we just lost his dad to a massive heart attack in march 16 days after his 50 th birthday.............so he had alot on his plate and many times in his letters i wondered but he did it and he is so much better looks at life so much better he even won the top award 'ACADEMIC EXCELLENT AWARD' and by the grace of GOD i drove out to watch him graduate and rode amtrack home all the way from oregon to chicago Illinois and back to Oregon long trip had so much fun would not change it for the world so be positive everything you do from now on make sure its positive it really works good luck Elsie Oregon

[Madonna Long]

Ya, know mama's just cry, I agree with Barbara.. Let your mom cry.. call her a lot.. send her emails. OH make it mroe than one or two sentences. LOL, that is the tyler way.. Best of luck to you sweetie. Ty.s mom

[Patricia from MN]

Sorry but in boot camp they cant do much..my daughter only got 1 phone call and two letters...she was in 900Div and a section leader...but we agreed not to cry with each other we did it alone..it was so much easier for her. I cry alot but will not tell my daughter...I tell her it is as it is suppose to be...it is her time to spread her wings and fly. The Navy is just giving her the way to do it. YES, I miss her terribly

[sandra]

hello nicole you are awsome it takes a good person to join i see you heard it all but you know even when you are in there more then a year MOMS still cry its because thay love you and care for you yes my son told me to not to cry i was only strong enough until he went to the gates to leave me to go get started i COULD NOT HELP IT AT ALL ITS LIFE she will relize its better for you just tell her to get on this page it is so awsome it helped me alot just convince her its college and you will be seeing her cuz it gets harder for her when she gets your box of clothes that was the hardest knowing thats all my son left with and no money at all i was worried sick it will be hard but know he is secured in there makes me feel better now thats all you can do its all love thanks for serving our country hugs and prayers for you and all sandra

[Melanne]

Hi Nicole,
My son left for BC on January 13th, I thought I was fully prepared for this day. I knew in my heart that this is what he wanted to do and have supported him completely through the whole process. We are very fortunate that we can not only watch the recruits oath in at our local MEPS office but also meet them at the airport and they have special passes so we can go through security and wait for the recruits to actually board the plane and take off. I was fine until he hugged me and told me solong. Your Mom is going to cry regardless of where she says good-bye. Our time at the airport was the most precious time, something I will never forget. Let her cry, it is ok, she is your Mom, it is all part of letting go and letting you spread your wings.
Good luck in your in your Navy future and thank you so much for your service.
God Bless,
Melanne

[maria]

Hi Nicole,

First thankyou for joining and good luck to you. I'm sure you will do fine, just stay focused and remember you can achieve anything you set your mind to. As for mom, it's so hard and yeah she will cry, that's what we moms do. So you keep a stiff upper lip, and as soon as you can contact her. It will be awhile so prepare her for that . Give her this web site and we will be here to pull her through the rest. Good luck and God Bless you and your commitment to our country. Love to you, Maria another proud Navy mom.

[Cathy]

To Nicole and all Navy kids,
I wish I would have know about this site last year when my son went to BC, it has been a tough road for the whole family, expecially the sailor.
Part of my job, as I tell all my kids, is to cry! I am a mom-it's my job, I earned the right to cry whenever I want to!
As a mom you carry that child under your heart for nine months, and part of your heart goes with that child wherever they go or whatever they do, for an eternity!
Go ahead, cry, laugh, love!
God Bless Our Troops!
Rick's mom

[Patricia from MN]

That is not a weird request at all. My dauaghter left for Boot Camp September 15 and we carried that all the way through to present. We never cry when we say good bye, she said it was just too hard, so we make a way to say "See you later " smoothly and give a really good hug and go. Crying is done away from each other. My nephew told his Mom the same thing..it is to hard when you cry. I for one honor her request and so far have been able to do that. I feel it is OK to ask that

[Faith89]

Thank you for your response. I am happy to finally see someone who thinks it's not that bad to request that your mom not cry. My mom was even told by someone that you shouldn't cry because it makes it that much harder for your loved one to leave. My mom heard that when her twin brother shipped to Iraq. It just makes it easier if she doesn't cry. I know she can do it and she says she will so I hope she does.