How to tell mommy.

[Kayla (Blake's fiance) Div. 939]

My name is Chris and i'm going into the navy in june...i report for bc that is. I've been running into some confusion with my parents though. Right now my job is ABH which is "aviation boatswains mate handling" which I literally chose for the fun of it. I am aware that a lot of people chose the military to get ahead in life which i did. But I mostly chose it to see great things and do fun things. It might sound childish but to me I'm young and I want the experience of the World. Well later in life I want to be a police officer but I would also like to be a firefighter and my parents want me to change my job to an MA, which is master at arms(military police). I was interested in it for a while but I changed my mind because I wanted that sea carrier experience with a family as close as the airwing guys. My parents don't know that I've already canceled my switch over for MA so I could stay at ABH and they keep telling me to bug my recruiter about it. My mom is more for the MA job than I am. I just want her to be proud of my decision and support me. I can't stand it when my mom is dissapointed in me. It stresses me out and makes me feel like the most horrible person even if I dont show that to her. I want her to see the good and respect in the ABH job. What should I do?

[Melissa (Tucson)]

Be honest.

[Achseh]

Your life, your decision. However, if you are adult enough to join the military, you are adult enough to be honest with your mother.

[Steve's Mom]

Our Melissa hits it on the head :) Have you tried telling telling your Mom what you told us? Little secret for ya regardless of what you chose, if you do your best and and enjoying your job most of the time. Your Mom will always be proud of you.

As for chosing MA because you want to be a police officer down the road. Alot of that experiance would come in handy, and some of your classes may clept in , but for most states, you will still need to go to an acredited academy and you will have to take a state post board. If you are looking to be a highway patrol, again most states require a college degree, time at the academy, and extensive department training regardless of your prior expierence.

[Kayla (Blake's fiance) Div. 939]

Thanks much :-).

[LiferMom]

Hi Chris,

I understand from your post where you are coming from. A lot of young Sailors-to-be wish for the great experience of world travel, and wish for the closeness of being shipboard with your fellow sailors. Shipboard life is so different than shore life, and it is definitely a plus to have sea time in your career.

As for your decision to cancel the MA and go for the ABH, I think that is your decision. I do understand though, that you do not want to hurt your parents' feelings, especially Mom.

I think you should have an honest talk with Mom about how much this means to you. I can hear your feelings in your words, and I think if you express your feelings like you did in this post, your Mom will understand. Another thing you can tell your Mom that might help ease her disappointment in your not becoming a MA is that you have a lot of options once you are in the Navy. Tell her you want the shipboard experience, but know that down the line that you can change to any rate that you want. The Navy always has that option open for its Sailors, and all you would need to do is talk to your career counselor (a yeoman on your ship) if you should change your mind, and he/she would guide you through your change.

Is your Mom aware of this site? She could find a lot of helpful support here.

You are not a horrible person and your Mom is just temporarily upset. Speak to her honestly and from the heart, and let her know you are serving your country. That makes every Mom proud.

Good luck Chris, and let us know how it goes. Keep in touch!

[Quadralene]

I think that you really need to sit both of your parents down and express your point of view. Yes us moms definitely wants the best for our children and sometimes our best isn't there best. I had to learn to respect and support my son's decisions even when I didn't agree with them. I think you really need to take on a more mature approach. Making the decision to join the military is a big step. It's not all fun and games first of all. Really do your research into both career fields because it's just not a job and then maybe your parents will understand and help assist you on your decision. I wish you the best of luck.

[Norene Crawford]

Tell her how you feel and this is what you want to do. She may be upset for awhile but will come around and respect you for your dissension. After all this is your new beginning and doing what you want just shows that you are growing up and learning to take responsibility for your life

[SueS (ABF Mom)]

I am a new mom also and my son sounds exactly like you! He chose ABF which is fuels. I wanted him to go for a more "career oriented" job. He told me he doesn't care really what he does right now, just wants the expewrience of it ALL. As a mom it is hard on one side but also I am still proud of his decision. I am SURE your mom would be too. We sat down together and really looked at the possibilities and realized that he could change jobs after two years. Talk to your mom with some plan in mind and that will probably ease her heaart some. Also, if I was your mom and read what you wrote here... WOW! would I be so proud. Let her see your post!

[Roxanne]

Pray before before you go to your parents and ask God to come in the conversation. Just be honest with them. This is your life and you are becoming a man. Tell them the same thing on why you want to go into the navy. They may be upset, but with time they will change and still be proud of you.

[RuthAnn]

Hi Chris~

I think you coming here to ask an opinion shows maturity and honest caring of your parents opinion. Us moms only want the best of our kids. She sees the MA as excellent experience for a job that you may want later in life, and she may be right. I have a son that wants a career in law enforcement and is currently in junior college working on his associates and contemplating going into the navy as an MA, so I completely understand your mom. And yet, I understand your point too and although it would take me a while to "warm up" to the idea, I'd come around and your mom will too. Like everyone else has told you, be honest and explain your reasons. And in the end you may even show your mom this post, I only wish I had this website when my oldest joined the navy four years ago. It took me awhile to adjust to my oldest son joining the navy, it wasn't what I would have chosen for him, but he did what worked for him and he was right. So, good luck with your mom.

[Debbie L]

I also say be honest. As a mom of a son who chose AO and wants to try out for BUDS/SEALS I was not to happy, but is is what he wants to do so I said go for it. You don't want to someday say I did not try. Talk to mom and dad and they will understand. You will be supeised how much they they understand. Good luck.

[carols_kitchen]

Sounds like you have had a lot of good replies. If you have not yet found Hoppi on this site, she may have more information for you at a Navy Career Counselor.
Be wishes, Fair Winds and God Bless
Carol