How to tell my three year old that Daddy is going to be gone for a while...

[NavyWife]

Hi everybody! I know I haven't posted here much. I read a lot of the posts though, to learn and keep myself informed. :) My husband leaves for Basic in 9 days. I was wondering, for those of you that are married to Sailors, how do you explain to your kiddos that Dad (or Mom!) is going to be gone for a little while? I have casually mentioned it to my son, Beckham. I know that 3.5 is really young, and possibly even too young to "get it" or grasp the fact that the morning after my husband's plane leaves he won't wake up to Dad. What do you think we should tell him?

[Cher]

I love this program! It's called Daddy Dolls, and a volunteer organization does them. I know a little baby girl who had one for her Marine Daddy. There were professional pictures taken of her with her Daddy Doll, sent to Iraq when he was there. Now she's a two year old, and he's headed out again soon, so I suppose the doll will resurface.

Google Daddy Dolls and learn how you can get one.

[NavyDCmomma]

My son was the same age as yours when Dad deployed...we made 'videos' of Dad reading my son's favorite story book(s) and we would follow along in the book together...all 'three' of us!

And, no, I would not cry until my son went to bed/sleep...usually we would start yawning and that made my eyes water anyway!

It sets up a ritual for your son and signals it is time to go nite, nite...maybe Dad should always end it the same way...Good night, sweet dreams, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, I love you...etc.... hope this helps! :)

[NavyDCmomma]

Oh! I also took photos of my son with his Dad and sent a supply with his Dad to mail home...they were photos my son had never seen until we opened the mail. ;) Sned two of the same photo so Dad doesn't have to part with the photos he loves!

[Angela]

I've read through the feedback you've been getting and I think it's right on the money. Don't big-dealy it. The one angle we really play up is the "helping people" part of it. It's seems 3 1/2 may be a tad too young to get it, but by 4-5, it seems to create alot of pride for them. Good luck. Be sure to find support for yourself. It's can be tough sometimes and we all need a shoulder once in a while. I appreciate your husband and his service and know the sacrifice your family is making to keep us all safe. Welcome to Navy life. It's going to be a wonderful ride!

[debihern]

My son was 2 when his daddy left for boot camp. I didn't make a big deal out daddy leaving but I did keep lots of pictures around and talked about the Navy and Daddy's 'new job' all the time. Not only did it help me through the weeks of boot camp - by the time we got to the graduation ceremonies my son told anyone who would listen that his daddy was a sailor be proud of him.

[Sarah]

My husband just left almost 2 weeks ago for basic, our son is 13 months old. He was really attached to Daddy and was really out of it at first. But like the other people say just tell them that Daddy is working and we'll be home soon!.This is the time to get the kiddos used to the next few years or more. Times are everchaning with daddy's being gone!! Hope that helps!!

[Sarah]

HE'LL be home soon, not we'll...lol

[gmotm2008]

I disagree with ignoring it or making light of it, or daddy's at work. Make a big thing of it, get the child a lanyard and a cute luggage tag. Put a photo of daddy in the luggage tag, and connect it to the lanyard help her to remember to wear ir always. Help her to create a response to the questions she might get about her daddy or about her ubusual necklace. I cared for my g-baby for two years while mommy went through training and then deployment. From 15 months to 3 1/2 years old we dd this with Nona, and it helped a lot. We also made a paper chain, attatching a new link for every day mommy was gone. I'm wasn't sure what to do with it after mommy returned, but in writing this I've decided to send it to her in Iraq this holiday season to decorate with-she leaves again this fall. Nona will be almost 5 when mommy leaves again, I think we will make butterflies this time and hang them from her ceiling at our house. Make a special day each month, the same one each month, to be daddy's package day. On tat day make cookies,shop for goodies and make crayon creations to put in the package. Make a special trip to the post office and have fast food supper on the wayy home or together make daddy's favorite for supper. It will help the child to be strong and to know how to react when people ask questions.

[earlzagurl*Flip'sMom*]

Syd, I see you've already rec'd great advice. My sailor and d-i-l told their {her} daughter {3.5} that "Daddy was going on the ship to fight the bad guys so they don't hurt our feelings". They had a "Daddy Pillow " made and and at night they would kiss Daddy nite-nite. Also the Stennis on which my son was deployed videoed sailors reading books to their children {or whomever they wanted to}., so that was something special. Even tho my son was not a combat deployment, the comment about the "bad guys" was something else. He's home now so everything is cool. Prayers to you and your family.