I'm just so sad!

[Renee (Jacob's Mom)]

I knew my heart would hurt but I didn't know it would be like this! I cannot stop crying. I didn't want to get out of bed today. I don't want to clean my house. All I can think about is the negative:

He is cold
He doesn't have his comfy pillow
No one to say sweet dreams and kiss him goodnight
No hugs
They have to eat fast
People yelling at him
Scratchy blankets
He has to iron his own clothes

It goes on....

I missed his phone call last night. My stupid phone doesn't ring when it is on the charger. I waited up late but thought surely he won't call after 11:30. I was sound asleep at 11:59 when he left the message. While I was sound asleep in my comfy warm bed, I could hear someone yelling in the background of his message.

After we left MEPS yesterday our family went to the Olive Garden (me, my hubby and our two sons). The lady at the door said how many and I said 5 - just out of habit. Then when they all looked at me and I realized what I had said, I fell apart. Right there in Olive Garden. I'm sure they thought I was insane.

Thanks for letting me whine to you... Being strong for my family is hard when I am just so sad!


The last I saw him. (That's my boy with the backpack):

[Amy]

I'm so sorry - mine doesn't leave until next Tuesday, but I'm already sad!

I think we forget that they have to figure it out at some point - and they will and they will be better for it!! I know this doesn't help now - heck it won't help me next week either! But think about everything he's learning - not only that - but think about the appreciation he'll have for everything when he's done and when he's accomplished what he's set out to do!!

Ok...now you have to promise to copy and paste this for me next week when I come crying about everything you listed above!!!

Amy

[Carlotta]

Joyful heart and Amy your sons will be fine and the Navy will take care of them. You will be proud of the man he becomes when you see him at PIR. Not telling you not to cry because I don't think it is too many people on this site that can tell you that they didn't cry when their recruit left. That is why we are all here - for each other support. I can relate with you joyful heart about the going out to eat situation. When we(husband,daughter & I) went to eat after my son had left for bc I couldn't even eat, I just sat at the table and cried. I lost 18 lbs while my son was at bc. I advise you to stay connected with this site because although your family says they understand how you feel, they really don't compared to other moms(dads) who has already walked in the shoes you are walking in now.

[Amy]

Maybe we can start a new weightloss program off this :)

Thanks for your words! I am excited and scared all at the same time!

[MaryHelen]

I am sorry to hear you are sad.. You have to be strong for them. Just think he is not in Iraq or Afganistan..Look at the positive things..Write him , send funny news articles etc..
Mary Helen

[Anne R]

I read your post and remembered what it was like not to long ago. My son just PIR'd on 01/02/09. I was in your shoes not long ago. It is very,very hard and no it's not like going to college(hated that one) you are cut off from your child. Good news it really does get so much better. You'll get their clothes back(kind of emotional) than the form letter( a little lift for your heart) with an address(yeah start writing) then a real letter (with some info) you will have lots of questions) write everyday)takes about a 5-6 days for them to get it. Don't forget they can only write on Sunday(they do sneak at night sometimes)and mail only goes out on Monday. I live in Northeast PA so mine didn't come till Friday. Okay as the weeks go by it's still hard but the letters sustain you for a little while, then if they are lucky they earn a phone call(you have a million questions in your head but but can't think of one at the moment) you just linger on to hear their voice. After that, a letter comes but you pretty much learned everything in the phone call but it doesn't matter you still read every line maybe twice. Since they are in BC now they will get a few extra "holiday routine" days. Martin Luther King & Presidents Day( so a chance for them to write some extra letters). By this point you feel soooooooooo much better really and you start getting excited about PIR that's all you can think about. Your grad packet arrives(yeah) it's getting closer. Start making plans and now it's really exciting. It keeps building & building till your on your way and finally you get to see them again. It's so wonderful. Enjoy your time with each other because you will have to say goodbye again(ugh) here we go again cry let it out say goodbye! They go to there next station and before long the calls start coming(my son calls everyday)maybe short ones but it's like he's away at school. I can't believe how much easier it really is now. I thought my heart would ache forever but now I'm just fine and you will be too. In your own time.

[Kelly]

Thank you for your insight. It really helps answer a lot of the questions I had. I am already crying about saying goodbye at graduation and I just got Kevin's box today. I am glad it is normal to cry on this site :)

Kelly

[intheknow]

he is taking the next step to be a man
he is employed
he gets paid on the 15th
he has a team that cares about him
he can have a comfy pillow in just a few weeks
it is about time he took care of his own clothes
no one ever died of hard pillow-scratchy blanket-gotta eat fast syndrome

[BethB]

My son leaves next week for boot camp as well. At first I was full of hurt and anger, and could barely manage to get through the day without the tears flowing every 15 minutes. Since I work in an office full of guys, that pretty much guaranteed that I was left alone! (and that's not necessarily a bad thing). While I still have the unpleasant task of watching him leave (and I'm sure the tears will flow again then) I've come to accept it better. I know he's doing the right thing for his growth and career opportunities. At first I was going to go with him to Build-A Bear to make a special stuffed animal together for when I needed a hug. Then I figured that it's time for me to grow up just as much as it's time for him. When I really looked at the review of my little "memory list" (the teddy bear, wearing one of his shirts as a nightgown, etc.) I figured that it would be a pathetic attempt of self indulgence, and a poor testiment to the courage and dedication that he will be called upon to use during his transition. He knows I'm going to miss him, and I don't plan on writing all the mushy stuff like that at camp. He doesn't need to carry that burden. Not only that - I have to be tough during this time because this is really the "easy" time for them - after all, there is a line drawn where they can't kill him in boot camp! Later on is when the bigger worries can and will appear. If I can't keep it together now, how will I ever make it then? Already I understand some of those kinds of worries - one of his friends (who is like a second son) is being shipped out to Afghanistan soon as infantry in the Army - and that young man is definitely in need of prayers and support in a much more dangerous situation. However, I've come to think that I myself need to go to a Navy Mom's Boot Camp. I have spent the last week making every dish and dessert that my son loves, knowing that it will be a while before he gets chow like that.......and I'm sure he will work all of that off by the second day, while I'll probably still be packing those pounds around when it comes time for PIR!!!
Keep the faith - boot camp will seem like kindergarten to them after a while, and we Moms will survive too. Something I was told that helps is that I should be very greatful for my sorrow - it means that there's a closeness there that so many parent/child relationships are missing, where the kids' leavings are a "good-bye and good riddance!", and that somewhere along the way, things turned out right.
I look forward to this post - I have found a wealth of information here. I hope to meet with some of you Moms in approx. 8 weeks for PIR!

[Hoppi aka Angie]

He is eatting healthy.
He is getting rest.
He has a sheet so that scratchy blanket isn't making him scratch.
He is getting in shape.
He is getting college credits.
He is making friends.
He has taken the first step towards the rest of his life.
He won't be cold, he will wear his hat, gloves and scarf when he goes outside. If it is really cold out he will put his face mask on.
He is learning to do his own laundry.
He is learning to iron his own cloths, don't worry he won't burn his cloths with the iron.
He is joining the ranks of the Worlds Finest Navy!

[Hoppi aka Angie]

Ingra:

You are correct, it is only bc. I was deployed and due to come home and hubby was to deploy a few months after I got back. Well luckly me, my deployment was extended and my husbands was pushed up. We didn't see each other for a whole year.

My hubby was deployed while I had to go in for major surgery and was stuck in the hospital for 5 days. All I got to do was e-mail my hubby I was going in for surgery and what it was for.

I think, people are learning to deal with their soon to be Sailor joining the Navy. But if they think BC is hard, just wait it gets worse.

[rosemary]

Hoppi, thanks for your kind words, they made my day...I am so happy that he is wearing a hat and gloves, but more importantly learning to iron!!! Every day truly gets easier, and I will feel even better when I get a letter from him. So far nothing. I will be 2 weeks on Tuesday, feels like forever.

[Mitzi]

I am so sorry you missed his phone call! But in about a week you will get his first letter with his 2 lines.