Mom is getting cold feet!!!

[Rebecca-Jordons mom]

My son is meeting with the recruiter this morning to take his 'real' test and spending night for his physical, etc. I've been encouraging him to do this, in fact, I'm the one who suggested the navy would be a better option for him as he wasn't doing the best in college, and he is so unsure about what he wants to be. He started going through mild depression because he's one year out of high school, and still no idea what he wants to do and plays ALOT of video games. No drugs, no alcohol, no partying, just video games with his friends constantly when he wasn't working!!! He's always worked for our family business, so has not even ever had an outside job. He's been so wishy washy, and didn't have a very good recruiter the first time, which made him decide against it actually 6 weeks ago. Well, now he's ready to make the decision, and I'm so proud of him, but honestly, I didn't realize how much this would hurt me inside. He's the oldest of four, and we all depend on him so much, and I don't want him to go. I would never tell him this, as I know this is hard enough for him, but I just wanted to see if any of you have had these feelings. I'm not sure how it all works, and how often I'll see him in the next 4-6 years, depending on what job he goes for...Is he gone after he leaves for bootcamp depending on his job??? Do they change that much after leaving??? Will he be a different person? Sorry for ranting. I guess it just hit me since I feel like I"ve been pressuring him to make a decision to do something and now I"m not sure if this is something he really wants to do, and if he even realizes how much his life will be different after leaving here, and that 4-6 years is a LONG time...you guys have been a tremendous help to me the past couple weeks, so just thought I'd see if any of you went through this, or if I'm just being a wimp...

[Denise 2]

I am sure you will get lots of answers from mom that have felt the same way. It is tough to let them leave and be on their own. I know my son changed after boot camp but in a better way. He was always a gentleman but even more so. Everywhere we went that graduation weekend he held out his arm for me. The amount of time you see him will depend on what his job is, where he is stationed, any deployment schedule. Remeber there are still phones and the internet.
My son too was struggling with what he wanted to do. he had applied to the Naval acadamy as a sr. in high school and we had talked about the enlisting. He did a semester of college decided that wasn't for him. He also did the video game marathons. He made up his mind and couldn't wait to go. They gave him a date for 3 months later then had an opening and left 3 weeks later. He is a nuke and loves what he does. Haven't seen him as much as i would like but I talk to him often. Part of your apprehension can be from the unknown. If this is his choice you will support him and encourage him. That is why this site is here to help you through this transition of your life.

[Rebecca-Jordons mom]

Denise,'thanks for the support. Think it all just kind of hit me that although this is probally the best thing for him, he won't be here anymore. I was having a 'mommy moment'! Sorry! I'm presuming we'll find out today after testing if he qualified for nuke, or will we find out tomorrow. His recruiter said they are not signing anyone up this week, so he'll have a week to figure out what he wants to do after testing...thanks again for everything!!!

[Paula]

Yes I can only speak for me & the women I spk to on a daily basis. IT IS ALL NORMAL. He is our first born and we love them. We are scared and afraid he will be too busy to come home. My son has been to 3 different bases in less than a year, he is deploying out in Oct for 8mths, but guess what? He will call, he will write, he may come home & you can visit him. Usually they come home between A school & their next destination. My sailor came home between A & C school. I am lucky he is only 5 hours away from me now. (thank goodness) but if I really felt bad I could jump in the car even just to see him. Believe me they miss us as much as we miss them (ok they miss their friends, lol) You are NO WAY being a whimp, this is real life and this is what a parent does. My son was so different when he came out, he cleaned his own stuff, did his own laundry just was so PROUD to be wearing that uniform and for his accomplishments. My son wil ahve his degree in less timwe than he would have by going to reg college. If he was in school right now, I know he would have been patying & cramming. Already he has a new life, he is responsible, he bought a motorcycle, he is purchasing a home and he calls to chk on his brothers, one is 3 years younger one is 6. They love him as I do but my youngest idolizes him. . It is all natural, but let him do what he needs to do. Their are phases you will go thru, crying, missing, stalking the mailman, lol (but it is true) We are all here if you need anything, talk, yell, scream,cry or BRAG. You can PM me anytime.

Best of luck and thank you for standing behind him on this heroic adventure.

[Rebecca-Jordons mom]

thank you so much. Your letter made me laugh and cry. I am proud of him, and glad that you mentioned the emails, etc. My brother left for the service when I was 5, and we rarely saw him or heard from him. Of course, when he came back home, he was such a jerk to all of his siblings!! LOL It's nice to know that we can still converse with them when needed. I still don't know how to maneuver this website very well but did get your response to my account??? I have to spend more time on here, even though I really haven't done laundry or anything since i found it! You guys are great and I thank you all!

[Sailor Baylor]

Paula- I want to say thank you for I too feel the same way. My son will be off to BC 7/21/09. But after reading this it help me feel more confident that my son has made a very adult decission. I am so very proud of him and he is so excite. He is the oldest of 3 boys he is really setting a great example for the younger 2. Thanks again and I am so blessed to have found N4M.

[Mom_of_A_CRF]

Your responce is beautiful I could'nt have said it better myself...Blessing to your Son and You and thank him for me for being in the Navy for all of us.....

[Rebecca-Jordons mom]

Jeannie,
thanks so much. You know, everything you say is right. I've got a good kid, and yes, I have been pressuring him to do something. I actually spoke to him the night before I had my meltdown when I wrote that on the forum, and he basically told me the exact same thing you said. I told him, "Jordon, you know you don't have to do this. If you want to go to school one more semester and see if you can bring up your GPA, you can do that. I feel like I've been pressuring you and don't want you to make a 4-6 year committment because of me" and that kid, who I love so much and will miss tremendously, told me, "Mom, you are pushing me, but I need to be pushed or I won't do anything. I want to make something out of my life". Well, even after he said that, I still had an emotional breakdown. He called me last night after his testing, which he said he did good at, and told me he'll be interviewing for the nuke program Thursday. He has his physical, etc. today. Didn't get to talk to him long. Can't wait to see what he says when he gets home. You guys have all been great, and I don't know who'd I talk to if I didn't have this. Your words of wisdom have helped alot. Thanks!!!!!! I hope to help others after I get this all over with!!! I'm sure there'll still be more breakdowns, but I'll make sure he doesn't see them or know about them!!! Thanks again! Becky

[Mom_of_A_CRF]

Hey, Besides cold feet..How are you? Lets chat when you have a few moments. My son has been in for 12 years I can say I am so Proud. Its has been wonderful for the whole family. He is about to make Chief, but I so remember when I fit your shoes. Not an easy one. I was so strong for him but dying inside. Its hard to let go. The best thing is to encourage him. Shoe him you want him to join, but share your concerns. I will be intouch...Blessings to you.

[Donna Mike's Mom (Div 252)]

Rebecca, I can absolutely relate to how you are feeling and promise you it is very normal. My son is currently in boot camp (week five!). He is my only child so I can really understand your feelings about letting him go. He too had no direction after high school and didn't have any idea what he wanted to do with is life. I can honestly say that he was addicted to video games. He also couldn't hold a job for more than four months to save his life. I, like you, encouraged him to look into the military. We went to one Navy recruiting office but the recruiter couldn't answer any of our questions, so we ended up in the Army recruiting office. My son was ready to go in and sign the papers to join the Army (OMG!!!), and I suggested that we hit the Navy recruiting office one last time before he signed. The recruiter at this office was AWESOME, and spent a ton of time with us and completely sold my son on the Navy (thank God!!).

Even though he has not completed boot camp yet, I can honestly tell you that I believe this is the best thing he could have done for himself. He still has some growing to do but I understand that they grow a lot in the last few weeks. I was also really worried about him just getting through boot because when he was living at home he acted like he was going to die if he had to break a sweat. If you looked up "lazy" in the dictionary, you would have seen his picture. He was also 6 feet tall and only weighed about 120 pounds ... he was so skinny that if he stuck out his tongue and stood sideways he would look like a zipper! Well, he is now 145 pounds and received on the highest scores on his inspection (you know folding clothes, etc.). You could have knocked me over with a feather!!

As for once they are stationed somewhere, based on information I have received from others who have kids in the military, they actually end up being closer to the kids. The moms said they call home more often ... sometimes daily if they are on land. Yes, there will be times when you won't hear from them because they will be somewhere that they can't call our or even use email, but those are the times that you have to put your faith in God and know that he is being watched over. Joining the Navy will give him an opportunity to do things and see places that very few of us get the opportunity to do. Best of all, when it's all over he will come out with a career!!

Be strong and keep encouraging him, and know that the Navy will take care of him. This is a great opportunity for him and he will come out the other side a better man.

[Rebecca-Jordons mom]

You guys are funny! My son just called and said the medical exam was horrible. He wouldn't even go into specifics. Maybe I don't want to know??? He's waiting on his recruiter so going to go ahead and use extra time and take another quick exam for aircraft tech job? All confusing to me! He should be home this afternoon. Thanks for everything!

[Jeanine #762]

Watching videos of boot camp and navy life definately reinforces that sometimes not knowing is best. Yes they do change and grow up and away but they always come back to the ones who pushed them to suceed. My sailor has been in almost 2 years and I hear from him almost nightly unless he has duty like today. He received a Navy Achievement Medal this month ans seems so much more grown up when I saw him last weekend than compared to Memorial Day Weekend. He lost his Dad when he was 12 so now is even closer to me after his Navy experience. He is only 1300 miles from me in Va but emails and calls are great for both him and me. Thank God for computers and cell phones, they make life easier for navy families now than even 5 years ago. You loved him, raised him, nourished him and guided him, now let the Navy make him even better for himself and for you. We will all be here for you so just holler when you need support or a shoulder to cry on.

[Linda]

My son is leaving for bc on August 10 and I'm so torn. He also didn't know what he wanted to do and he felt he was wasting time and money by going to our local community college. I never went with him to the recruiting office and I don't even know his recruit officer's name, ( I need to find out). My son is 20 so he didn't need me there with him, but I know that I am going to miss him terribly. He moved out a few months ago (he said to get me used to him not being around) but it's going to be hard not to call him or text him anytime I want. We are having a going away party for him the week before he leaves and I'm expecting at least 100 people (he has a lot of friends). He is also my oldest child- I have a soon to be 18 year old son and I also have a 2 1/2 year old daughter, who is going to miss your brother so much. Good luck and maybe our sons will be in bc together.