MY FIRST BORN IS GOING AWAY....I AM WORRIED AND MY HEART IS BROKEN

[DIANA CLEMONS]

WITH SO MUCH TALK ABOUT THE WAR AND RUMORS OF HOW PEOPLE ARE TREATED IN THE MILITARY I WORRY MY SOFT HEARTED SON WILL BE TAKEN ADVANAGE OF.
HE'S TOUGH NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, AND THE ONLY REASON I KNOW THIS IS BECAUSE ANTHONY HAS BEEN IN MANY FIGHTS WHERE HE IS ALWAYS STANDING UP FOR SOMEONE.
I WORRY HE WON'T MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS WHEN NEEDED OR KNOW WHO HIS REAL FRIENDS ARE. I WORRY HE WILL MAYBE START DRINKING LIKE OTHER SAILORS I HAVE HEARD. I KNOW THE NAVY IS THE BEST THINGS FOR HIM AND WOULD RATHER HIM BE CLOSE TO HIM IN THE RESERVES FIRST, BUT HE THINKS HE WANTS TO GO IN FULL SERVICE FOR THE COLLEGE BENEFITS LATER. I WOULD RATHER HIM GO TO COLLEGE NOW.
BUT THE WORSE OF ALL I DON'T HAVE ANY FAMILY BUT MY CHILDREN. I WAS ADOPTED AS A CHILD AND MY ADOPTED PARENTS FAMILY HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN CLOSE.
NOW THAT BOTH MY ADOPTED PARENTS HAVE PASSED AWAY I FEEL ALONE AND MY SON AND DAUGHTER ARE ALL I HAVE.
I CRY EVERYTIME I THINK OF THE DAY GETTING CLOSER FOR HIM TO MAKE THAT DECISION.
IT'S HARD TO THINK OF HIM NOT BEING AROUND ME AND MY HEART IS BROKEN.....I WANT HIM TO JOIN AND BECOME A MAN, BUT IF I SUPPORT THIS DECISION
I HOPE THE NAVY TAKES GOOD CARE OF MY SON AND MAKE HIM INTO A MAN.

[kathy]

Diana,
Whatever you are hearing of the military that is negative, please do NOT listen to. My son-in-law is active Army, having served one 12 month tour in Iraq and expecting another deployment this fall (this time leaving my daughter behind w/ a baby). It took a bit for them to adjust to military living but now they are both VERY proud and VERY happy with their decision (he re-upped while on his tour in Iraq and is planning to re-up this next tour). My nephew jfinished up his Active Navy time about 3 years ago and will readily tell you it was the best thing he ever did. He was able to put his skills to civilian use and has a very good job. He was transferred in the middle of Feb from Puerto Rico to Maine and HATED it but ended up meeting a girl from there, fell in love w/ her and the state, and are now relocating back there. I work w/ several people who's children are also Active military: AF, Army, and Navy. Some are CO's, other's enlistees who have climbed the ranks. ALL are VERY happy w/ their kids choices. There is SO much more support out there for our military people than there was years ago. They are very highly respected and civilians are very quick to show their thanks and support. I think that right there helps boost so many of their self-esteems and make them feel worthy.

I was shockingly MUCH more sad than I anticipated when my son left. My daughter left home 3 years ago when she married her military man. She arrived in a new state 2 weeks before he deployed, far from home and then totally alone. It was a tough year, seeing her alone and trying to support her in her worries of her deployed husband. All of my kids have gone away to college at some time or another, so I truly thought I was very prepared for this one to leave. Boy, was I wrong! I was fine until I went to pick up his cake for his going away party and then the gates broke loose. I cried the entire next day...which is VERY unlike me! I think it was more out of emotion for his brave decision than his physical absence. But as my former Navy fiance' reassured me, "He is safer and in better hands than he has ever been in". Those were very assuring words to me. And I offer these words to your Anthony: he will be safe and in wonderful hands. He will come back to you as you say, "a man". As Diana said, you will be SHOCKED at the changes you see.

If you go to the Reserve board you will read that the majority of our reservists (which is what my son is) regret not going Active. I tried to talk my son into Active but he was not ready for that leap. He is just fresh home from A school so the newness of being home has not worn off yet. But I know without a doubt, he will regret not doing Active. He mentioned it a few times while in A school and I know it will come up again.

As Diana said, he will NOT be drinking while in BC! Once they get liberty they are able to drink but I found my son actually curtailed his drinking more than increased during and after A school. He loved being in a new part of the country and seeing new things. He claims Chicago has the most gorgeous women he has ever seen!

I have known a lot of current and former military folks and I don't think I have heard many come out w/ anything negative. Have faith in Anthony and his decision. We know the time comes when we must all let them go. This is it for you but know that you are handing him over to some VERY entrusting hands: The US Navy.

Keep us posted!

Vonnie, my son felt like one of the "old" ones-at the age of 23. One of his new roomates assigned right before he graduated from Corpsman school was 29. He has tried to talk his 29 y/o brother into but he won't hear of it!!

[Melissa Crager]

Do not worry I am in a similiar situation. My older son has been in the Navy for 2 year's And graduated boot Camp in Great Lakes In May of 2007. He will be in the Navy 2 years in April. My younger son is not as fit and got hurt 2 times in Boot camp but is pluggin on. He graduates Mar 20. The older one is In Bahrain. I hatted letting them go but was proud at the same time. They are bettering themselves and getting a brighter future so that is great. The letters and phone calls will keep you going . My son call's frequently from Bahrain and that is a comfort they will remain close to your heart alway's and the missing does not go away But letters and phone calls help.Having others in same situation's help. The Navy takes good care or their own.That is why his brother followed suit. It was harder letting them both go . I am proud of both of them for bettering themselves. Your son will be ok They will encourage each other and make better men out of our young men.Good luck and God Bless you and your Sailor.

[Alice Shannon]

I know how you feel because on yesterday my young son left for the navy. I have not sleep.I am in New Orleans and have been depress still Katrina and then Gusta. I know that they and he said that everything will be alright. But my heart is hurting. It is like something is pulling me apart. It is my baby son the one that I can talk to everyday about anything. I am miss the music he play with his trumpet. My heart is hurting . I also feel like he will fright back if some one would get in his face or try to talk down or about him. I sons and I have a hard life and life is still hard for us. All my sons are good Africa- American proud young men. Please help me and pray for us all.

[Lynne]

Diana,

I was a Navy wife and now a Navy mom. I worked for the Navy for 15 + years. My best friends are all people I have met because of the Navy. The Navy takes care of its own, your son will be come a man very quickly and make friends for life! My oldest son who is the light of my life went to boot camp Sept 07. He was always a good boy and now at 22 is a wonderful man. He made some truely wonderful friends in bootcamp and A school, they have scattered but they keep in contact (cell phone and Myspace). I talk to him daily. No matter how bad it hurts and I won't lie it hurts when they leave please let him know how proud you are. Good luck to you and your son.

[seansMoM]

Diana, My son is my only child, he has been in the Navy for 2 years and is now on his 2nd deployment. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was to kiss him good-bye the morning he left for Great Lakes....he is my reason for living...but you see, I had to let him go....he told me that joining the Navy was what he wanted/needed to do....of course I cried ( still do ), but I would never..ever..stand in his way, no matter how much it hurt me...the little boy I said good-bye to is now a grown man with confidence and a focus on what he wants to do with his life... He has been to Italy, Greece, Bahrain, Cypress and went snow-boarding in the desert (Dubai)....he has made dozen upon dozens of friends along the way and is serving aboard one of the best guided cruisers the Navy has to offer...I do not know where this deployment will take my son ...but, I assure you, he will have stories to tell when he returns....It hasn't been easy for me by no means....but I had to let him go....if your son is serious about joining, stand behind his decision give him a big (((HUG))) and tell him how proud you are of his decision....then go into another room away from him and cry like a baby.......all of us here will be here for you....after all, that is why we are here "support"...you are not alone...judy