My son left for BC today

[Denise]

This is by far one of the hardest things I have had to do, kiss my son goodbye it may sound kinda dumb but my heart just aches, we dropped him off at the hotel last night and today is a very lonely day for me i have been reading discussions on this wonderful web site but there is no way to prepare you for the goodbye, we are all very proud of Jarred he is our baby and the last one to leave and here I am now sitting if front of my computer all alone, the empty nest. There is no words to describe the hurt in my heart. We had on party for Jarred so family and friends could come and see him this past weekend and that was wonderful, but every chance I got I would sneak away and just cry. I kept up a strong front until last night, I hugged him and told him how much I love him and how proud I am of him. He then walked us to our car kissed his dad goodbye opened my car door gave me another hug and a I love you mom closed the door and walked into the hotel he didn't want us to come in he wanted to do this on his own, I turned and watched him walk into the hotel and what was once my little boy turned into a man it was one of the proudest but saddest day of my life. I think once I get a phone knowing that he made it to I will be ok but in the mean time I just want to be a little sad and I know it will get a little easier each day. But with the holidays around the corner I just don't know. Any words of encouragement is appreciated.

Denise
Proud Navy Mom of Jarred

[Ronell (jessica's mom)]

Denise, you are feeling exactly what you need to be feeling. It is awful! My daughter graduated from BC on 10/24. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. When you get the box (probably next week) it will be hard too. It will have everything he had on and had with him when you dropped him off. Just be ready. It hurts. Definitely go to graduation if you can. It was such a proudl moment. What helped me immensely was too start writing a letter as soon as my daughter left. I wrote everyday, everything that was going on at home. That way when I got an address I had all the news too send and it helped me feel connected the whole time. I mailed her a card or a letter everyday after I sent the first long one. This site is great. Soon you will meet people that have kids graduating the same day and in the same division. The connection will helo so much. Stay strong and try not to cry when gets his first real phone call until after yoiu get off the phone.

[Navy Mom]

Denise. I know exactly how you feel, but believe me it will get easier. My son left on 10/8 and will graduate on 12/5. The first couple of weeks was horrible and all I did was cry. Michael is also the last one to leave the nest and the house was quite. In a couple of days you will receive a box that will have all your son's belongings in it. There will also be a form letter that will either be in the box or in the mail. It's just a standard form that the Navy sends out but your son will be able to write a line or two on the bottom. I just now unpacked Michael's box and washed his clothes this past weekend. I wish I had the words to ease your heart but I don't. It is something all us mom's have gone through and are going through. The only thing I could do for Michael when he left was to stand strong and support him. I started writing him everyday and when I got his address I mailed a bunch of letters. Your son will be able to write one day a week. Michael wrote on Sundays so we got his letters on Thursdays. I have met a lot of wonderful moms on this site and you will too. I would just come in here a write and blog on how I was feeling. Sometimes it made me feel better. Just know that we are here for you and in our prayers. I can't wait until 12/5 not only do I get to see my son but I get to meet a lot of friends that I met here and they are considered my new Navy family.

[Kimberly - Alex/Pensacola]

I completely understand. My son left yesterday and I haven't heard from him, yet. We went to see him swear in and spend as much time as we could with him. Leaving the Federal building and driving the 25 miles back home without him was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I cry without reason and go sit on his bed just to say little prayers for him. I know he'll be fine but it hurts. I have my family to help me get thru the holidays and I just have to remember he made an important choice. He's doing something he believes in and I believe in him. Even though I have so many emotions right now, the strongest one is pride. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.

Kimberly - Proud Navy Mom of Alex

[Colleen]

Denise, I am in the same place as you. My son left for BC today as well. I feel totally a mess. My eyes are sore from the crying and the ache in my heart I cannot begin to explain! I could not be more proud of my son AJ but he too is the last , from our nest to leave and my only son. There truly is NO WAY to prepare my heart for this. My son kissed me goodbye, then his dad, then his sister (oldest sister left earlier this AM for her home in NY) and then his girlfriend. He then looked at me again and kissed me and said I love you Mom. He was not sad but excited to start this journey and that is the only reason I was able to let go of him. I want to hold on to my baby but I know he is a man. I to had a moment the other night with my boy. I kissed him and told him how very much I love him and how Very proud I am of him. Then today I watched him walk away with the recruiter and though, I am so darn Proud of him, but why does it have to hurt. The tears come in waves and I don't really know how long this will last, I guess I will just have to go with the flow (no pun intended).
I truly wish you all the best and will be praying for you. These holidays will be so rough. I keep thinking, why now. But actually, any time he leaves will be rough, there really is no good time. Last night, we were all sitting in the living room after our Thanksgiving dinner and I was doing dishes. My sons girlfriend came into the kitchen crying hard. She said, Mom I am just not ready for this. I told her, we will never be ready for this and we held on to each other. My son walked int he kitchen and held the two of us. It was wonderful, painful and heartbreaking all at the same time. I am just going to need a lot of prayer and friends to muttle through this years holidays. But I know God's grace is sufficient and He will carry me when I can't walk through this. And I will keep you praying for you and all the other Mom's whose hearts are breaking this holiday season over missing our children. Take Care...Colleen

[Mary (Dustins mom) PROUD]

Denise, I completely understand where you are coming from. This is all new to me as my son left today for BC. He wouldnt let me come to the hotel. He had his recruiter come pick him up. He said mom this is something I have to do on my own. So trying to be strong I agreed. The recruiter showed up about 12:00 yesterday. We chatted for about 5 min. Then my son hugged me and said mom I love you and will call you when I get there. It will be ok. All I could do is cry. He got in the car and they drove away. I watched them as they dissapeared down the highway. That was a very lonely feeling!
I just keep telling myself god will watch over him and keep him safe. I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

Mary
Proud Navy Mom of Dustin

[Annie]

Hey Denise,
I haven't been there/done that - my daughter doesn't leave til next summer. Thanks for raising a son who is willing to serve. You must have instilled a strength in him so that he feels able to take on this challenge. I'll keep you and Jarred in my prayers. Peace - Ann

[Chantay _Sams Mom]

Denise - I don't have any words of encouragement but I want you to know that I know I'm going to feel the same you do now in a few months. My son, my baby, is not supposed to leave until April 09 for BC but he told me if he can go earlier, he wants to. I try to not let him know that knowing he will leave in April is killing me and that his talking about going earlier is just about to send me over the edge. But, I want you to know how proud I am of your son and that I earnestly wish for him all that he wishes for, hope that he stays strong when the going gets tough and pray that God keeps him safe.

[Michael, My sailor is Andy]

You will be very pleased after time passes and you see how responsible he will become and how quickly he will mature. My son Andrew has been in for about 2 years. I felt the same as you do when he left and the BC experience was scary for me to think about. The day he graduated (GO AND SEE THAT!!!!) i felt so good and he was such a different person that I was shocked and pleased. Hope you have a similar experience. Do not expect too much communication. Mike

[Cyndee Fields]

Denise,

I would like to thank you for sharing your pain with us. This is an emotional roller coaster, I can't imagine that I can't just pick up the phone and talk to him. My son was to leave on Nov. 9th and on the 7th was pushed back due to illness until Dec. 17th. I keep pushing the reality of him actually leaving out of my mind. Be strong, you will be in my thoughts over the holiday.

Cyndee
So to be Navy Mom of Jared

[Kirsten]

Hi Denise,

yes I know it was the hardest thing for me too, to finally let go. Lee is my only child. He's been gone since July and he's just about to graduate BESS ( Submarine School) and going on to ATT now. I still have some days where I sit in his room and just let my tears roll, but I know he is where he wanted to be and we are very proud of him :).

[Ben's Mom]

Denise, Wasn't that terrible? I know EXACTLY how you feel...So many emotions....I sympathize with you today. as I just had my son leave, we had the recruiter take him to the hotel and he will swear in and leave tomorrow morning for GL. It is so difficult to let him go. My heart feels like mush. I was literally "sick" to my stomach because of so much saddness.
My head feels like it is going to "explode" from crying soooooooooo much.... I couldn't even watch him walk away from me after our BIG hug and I love you's......I know you asked for encouragement, and I am sorry I don't have any encouraging words just yet, but I will PRAY for Jarred and Ben and All the new recruits on the block! Also for the MOMS......
Ben is my 1st to leave and be away from 'home :( I am so proud of him, but also nervous and worried and anxious and excited..... He called me from the hotel to say he made it there, and there is another guy there too, going through the same thing so that gave me a lot of comfort knowing that he is not in that hotel all by himself not knowing what's ahead. When I am not crying I just try to tell myself that this will be a wonderful path for them in life, new experiences and adventures and learning and seeing things they would never see if they hadn't made this big decision. It will shape their lives and make them be who they are to be in Life. Take Care hopefully it will get easier.

[Connie in Alaska]

Hi Denise, you are right, it is the hardest thing a mom has to do, with the exception of waiting for that first call or letter. I cried when my daughter walked to the airplane [she arrived at GL on 10/28), and I cried the whole way home. It hurt a lot. It's okay to feel sad today - it just means you raised a great son. Give yourself permission to miss him and to cry when you need to. He sounds like a strong young man judging from the way he left for boot camp. But this is how I comfort myself, our children didn't leave us, they are just off on an adventure and will return to us. They are doing what they want to do, and aren't you proud that what he wants to do is something so much better than a lot of young people are doing? He will come out of this strong, proud of himself, self confident, and with a career. My youngest brother is 20 year career navy, and was one of the youngest Navy chiefs at the time. Everyone in our family respects him so much and looks up to him. The Navy played a big part in who he eventually became. I know I was at first upset when my daughter told me she was joining the Navy. It's scary for us moms, the thought of being apart from them, the thought of so much we don't know. Kelly joined while still in high school, the delayed entry program, and flew out to boot camp just about a week after she turned 19. I didn't get that first call from her, some moms don't. I started writing her that night, and I saved up the letters until I got her address from her recruiter [he was able to look it up online]. Since then I've received several precious letters and phone calls, and I can hear the change in her already. It helped me to write, find funny cartoons [I even had her cat write her a letter, but she said she got razzed big time for that so "NO MORE LETTERS FROM THE CAT MOM." LOL. But it helped ME to do it, and to know that I was making her smile. He'll be homesick, you can count on that. But whenever I wrote or talked to Kelly, I did my best to let her know I missed her but that I KNOW she can do this; that she is strong and we believe in her. It will get better after the first few weeks, after the call or letter. Before that, I can guarantee you will be stalking your mailman daily and frisking him for mail. LOL. Just get through it one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, and before you know it, you will have a countdown clock on your home page, telling you that he is graduating in 30 days, 20 days, 10 days, and voila...it is here! Kelly graduates in 28 days. I still get teary sometimes, and that's okay. I miss her, and that's okay too. Your letters to him will mean the world to him. Kelly wrote and said to me...mom, what I need from you is CONTACT...write me, tell me what is happening at home, send me pictures of family/friends and our hometown that I can share with my friends. The other things is...give yourself permission to get through this the best way you can. It's an experience you have to go through to understand. Come in here when you need to, even if it's just for a hug because you are having a bad day. Make contact with moms who are a few stages ahead of you as far as when their children went to boot camp as they can give you good tips, information and advice. Make contact with moms who are in the same stage as you as far as when their children went to boot camp, and with moms whose children are in your child's division so that you can share what is going on and your children might even become friends. And then, make contact with moms who are a few stages behind you, who need your support, your advice, your understanding of what they are going through. I promise, it will help. And you can always ask me for a hug :-) Connie