new navy mom

[Georgia proud of my sailor]

I'm upset just writing this. My son just joined the Navy on the 22nd of Nov so I am still dealing with so many different emotions right now that I am trying to just pick one thing to concentrate on. I have been writing down questions I want to ask his recruiter but have yet to talk to him yet. Are there any questions anybody can recommend for me to ask I want to make sure I know as much as I can before he leaves in June the day before his 19th birthday!!



Confused but proud Mom

[Squid's Mom - Rehne']

Hi Georgia, Welcome!
My story is like a lot of others. My son was 22 when he joined the Navy. He went down to his dad's in NC to talk to an Air Force recruiter friend of my ex-husband and took the ASVAB ,he scored hi if I remember right it was 88 or 89 over all with mid 90's in 2 parts of it. He took the physical and had to loose weight (3 percent of body fat) so he came back to Michigan and worked out got in touch with a recruiter here who dropped the ball and didn't call him back so he talked with a navy recruiter and decided this was a better way to go.
When he got back from NC I asked him if he signed any thing he said "MOM!" and I said " Listen, this is Mom friend talking not Mom mom. Did you sign any thing? 'he said NO', Ok I want you to think about this, be sure it is what you want to do, not what you think have to do, because you can not find a job here. It is not your only option. The military is a commitment for the number of years you sign up for. You will be theirs, I can not get you out, I do not have THAT kind of clout! So please think about it and be sure this is what you want to do, and if it is what you want to do than I will support you 110percent." One month later he singed the papers and entered the DEP program. His left for BC March of 07 and his PIR was May 07.
The 1st letter from boot camp started out like this: "Hi Mom, Boot camp is fun, and the food isn't bad either. I gained 5 pounds." After a letter like that I just knew he was going to be fine.
My son is now an ET with a second NEC which is an ISM. He is on a Destroyer (currently deployed) and seeing the world. His 1st port call was Italy the one place he has always wanted to go, that made him very happy. I cannot wait for Homecoming, I will get to see his ship for the 1st time.
We keep on touch through e-mail, which is wonderful. It makes me feel closer to him. you will see how much this site helps too. I have found some really great new friends here. we can cheer each others Sailors and their accomplishments. We can also cry on each others shoulders when we need to. We are all very proud of our own and each others Sailors!

Rehne'
My Son , My Sailor, My Hero

[Janis Kay]

We've all been there, Georgia! And perhaps we are the only ones who really understand what you are feeling. Of course, you are proud, but oh my! All the worry that goes into this job of navy mom is incredible! I can happily say that all my worries were a waste of time and my son (who just graduated boot camp in Nov) is an incredible man! The good part though is that he is still my same old son! When he calls, it is just the same as it always was! In fact, it's pretty wonderful! I have come to 2 conclusions in my short time as a Navy mom.

1 - Holidays are when I see my son, not when everyone else celebrates.
2 - I am even more greatful and thankful for conversations that I have with my son than I ever was.

Take care!
Janis

[Mommadukes]

I wish you and your son the best! I don't reallydsa know even if you know every answer that you would want to know you will still feel so confused when he is at bootcamp. February will be two years for my son in the navy and I still don't have all the answers. Just remember when he leaves for BC yes, you are allowed to cry, you will cry because you are sad but you will feel such pride that you will definitely experience at PIR. My son will be going to Afghanistan at the beginning of the year and here we go again on the emotional rollercoaster! ....

Just keep you conversations open with the Navy parents, they are the best source of information. They are caring and will help you in anyway you need. I could not have gotten through my first year without them!

Good luck and enjoy the time he's home....when you see him at graduation, you will be breathless!

[Christine]

Georgia, I understand your confusion and your pain. My son Bryan leaves for boot camp on Feb 2nd, 2009 and I'm already a nervous wreck. I raised him alone, and we are very close. I can't blame him for wanting to be a medic, as I am a nurse. My son will be 19, too, in January 2009. Bryan likes his recruiter, so it's good that you feel open to asking your son's recruiter a lot of questions. I've never seen my son so concentrated and motivated about anything else before, so I have to assume this is a good thing. Being ex-military myself (7 yrs in the Army Nurse Corps as a Captain), I have to also assume this experience will give him the leadership, experience, and military bearing that it gave me. How can we not be proud that our children are willing to protect our country? We just have to pray for their safety and the strength to get through each day that they are away. Best of luck to the both of you!

[Lynn Winfree]

Welcome to Navy 4 Moms, Georgia, glad to have you aborad our group..I live in Mtn home ark.
moved here 2 years ago after living in arizona for 38 years of my life its been a real culture shock for me though.
I understand where you are coming from its hard the first few months, but you will become so Proud as a Navy Mom
and Proud of Your Son, that it gets easier each time..My son is on his l4 year and I remember those times as well.
We are all here for you, and will be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers it works it really does..He will do great.
Lynn

[Jodi]

My son left august !7th I was in a deep depression for about well until I saw him for graduation.
I have Ms so any stress or anxiety makes me have a relapse witch it did but i cried all the time.
He will be coming home I think this weekend for 15 days and then goes to where he is stationed (Florida) not that far but when he is on the ship 6 months without hearing his voice I don't know what I will do. my dausghter is having a hard time also my husband too but it's different for moms... If you need to talk please reply anytime my name is Jodi
It will take a while but hang in there i'm trying also..

[Cheri]

Don't worry mom. He'll be able to call, just not as often as we would like to hear our child's voice. And he will be able to email you often. That helps. Although you can't "talk" everyday, at least you get to hear from him. The first deployment is the hardest, but it does go by fast. Although you never get used to them being gone, it does get easier.

[dawn katte]

Hi Confused but proud mom, I feel your pain! My son joined in July. I cried for three days straight. I remember the night he joined I went to a get together with friends and cried (uncontrollably!) for an hour. My son was an A student in high school and had earned a couple scholarhips so when he came home in June and informed my husband and I that he would be joining the Navy, you could have picked me up off the floor! I was devasted! However, today (six months later) I realize HE knew what he was doing and the Navy was exactly the right thing for him. He is INCREDIBLY happy. Seriously happy. I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD OR PLEASED with his decision. The time we do spend together or on the phone is very fulfilling. He is a man now. He doesn't ask nor expect (nor get) money from us. He loves calling the shots in his life and if he were in college (and I was paying the bills) he would not have that luxury. It does get easier but for now, just cry it out and don't hold back!

[Laurie]

Oh Sweetie, I do know how you feel. I went threw it in Sept. I cryed for over a week and then on and off.Let me just say,I'm here for you and I'm sure we the navy moms are to. They helped me so much getting threw this. It's the not knowing that kills you .When you get a letter from him you will feel better. And when you see him At graduation you will never of been so proud of him. The way he will carry him self with such pride of what he has learned.My son is now in Pensacola,Fl. for A school.that comes second. I sent him a cell phone and we talk and text all the time. As long as you get that you will be o.k. Don't worry about boot camp it will be o.k. My son Chris said it wasn't that bad.Just know they are there to teach you ,don't take it personal,he told me.He gets to come home for two weeks on the 20th I can't wait. And yes he is glad he did this ,he said. Please keep in touch if you need me. I will tell you all I can and I know what I don't ,The other moms dop. God Bless you and yours.Laurie

[Texas Carol]

Hello Confused But Proud Mom!

My advice. Trust your son. Although it is tempting to want to "take charge" this is not the type of situation where moms are really invited into the conversation. If your son has not yet been to MEPS to do final testing and finally select his rating (the job he will do), please just emphasize to him that nothing is final and everything is NEGOTIABLE until he SIGNS HIS CONTRACT. Thereafter, for you, it's just a matter of supporting him as he fulfills his contract.

My son was 6 months delayed entry. I never even met his recruiter until he left for boot camp. I dropped him off at the recruiting station for boot camp (a van took him and other recruits to the airport). I really wanted to pack for him. All my son took were the clothes on his back and a shaving kit with some necessities. I was sure he would need more. Two weeks later I received a box ... it had the clothes he was wearing when he left, his having kit, and his cell phone.

When your son goes to boot camp, he no longer needs the "things" you can provide him. Send letters. He will be isolated from daily news, pushed to physical limits every day, will have no time (or relatively little time) to himself, and he will not be able to phone home at will. His friends might drop him a line while he is at boot camp ... but the only regular correspondence he can expect is from mom!!!!!

[Cheri]

Oh gosh...when I received that box from DEP I laid on the floor and cried. That's when I realized that the apron strings was cut! But I was so proud when he graduated and took lots of pictures. I'm so proud of him.

[Coyote]

Hi Georgia,
First of all this is a great place for a resource of information, opinions and mostly support. I know when my son joined my husband and I met with the recruiter for an hour or so. We asked him every question that came to mind. We told him some of our concerns that we felt were specific to our son. He took his time an answered all of them. We mostly wanted to know things like how boot camp worked, what kind of signing bonus he was getting, what kind of training he would be getting for the job he had requested, what would happen if he didn't pass boot camp (we weren't trying to be negative, just covering the bases and just in cases), what types of places could he be sent given the job he had put in for, what was life like on an air craft carrier, how long was a typical time frame to be at sea, just anything and everything. We weren't navy and had no family member to ever be in the navy so we had a lot of questions. If the recruiter thought they were silly questions he never once let on. In fact, he complimented us for caring enough to ask. He said alot of times the kids that go in are already in some kind of trouble and this is what they are doing as a means to turn their lives around. Home lives aren't too good, so mom & dad don't get involved. He never made us feel like we were unwelcome or bothering him. BTW, our son wasn't there. The recruiter came to our house with our son's permission to answer questions and pick up the paperwork he needed. In a way it was nice to be able to ask without him there, but I would only recommend doing it that way if your son says its okay.

Our son joined about 3 months after his 19th birthday, went in 2 months later, and just celebrated his 20th in Japan. They are so young to us to make such a huge decision, but if it is any comfort I had huge reservations at first, and now I'd have to say that this was the best thing for him. Meeting with the recruiter helped us be at ease and helped us support our son in his decision feeling that we could do so with the facts and having our questions answered.

I know I rambled a lot but I hope there was something helpful in there.
Coyote