Navy For Moms

I was in your shoes about 3 years ago when my only son, and my oldest child left to go to Navy Basic Training. I, like you, felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest. But on a board similar to this one I posted the time away and when I wrote to him I told him about the board and how some other moms with Sailors in his division were on there. While on the site a member of the Navy Moms Organization was posting and saw my rants. She ask me who my son was and what division he was in and my email address. I gave her all of my information and a few more post went back and forth between us that day. Little did I know she was in Great Lakes at the time visiting the recruits, on behalf of Navy Mom Organization and delivering care packages. The next evening when I got home from work I checked the board and then on to my email. I saw a strange address in my inbox but the title was "I met your son Jonathan and he is a fine young man." My heart just broke....I immediately began to literally sob.. And this is what I read.
Dear Leah,
I have been reading your post and you seem to be struggling. You seem angry and hurt by your son's choice to defend our great nation. I just thought if I could give you some peace, maybe this last 5 weeks will be easier. I found your son this morning and when I sat with him, introducing myself I began telling him of our message board / online support group. As I was talking going through the formalities of the introduction he politely excused himself for interrupting and said.."Mam if you could will you see if there is a lady on there from Georgia that goes by the screenname hisbiggestfan. That is my mom and when I left she didn't seem to be dong so well. I know my mom and she has always worried about me and my sister. Heck, I am 18 years old, and up until I left home she would come in and cover me up during the night. She never missed not one baseball or soccer game, and now I just can't imagine what kind of a mess she might be. So if you could mam would you please try to find her on there and tell her, I love her to the moon and back again, and I am ok. I sure would appreciate it." He is a fine young man and is doing a great job from what his chief tells me. He is 2nd in command of his division and is enjoying his training. I have never spoken to a young man who seemed to have so much direction and so much faith. Leah, this child depends on you to be his strength. And I will pass on to you what a very wise and seasoned Navy mom passed on to me a few years ago when my daughter first went to basic training. If you feel like your heart has been ripped from your chest....it has....it went with Jonathan....he needs it more than you. And if you get down and you need me I am never more than a message or a phone call away. Love him, be proud of him, cherish your memories of the time you spent with him, but do not grieve the child he use to be for he is now a fine young man.
My prayers are with you and yours,
xxxx

Well as you can imagine I was a hot mess by this point in the email but when I read the poem she attached....a calm came over me. And from that day forward...even through 2 deployments I have been able to pull up that email and draw strength and find peace in it. Maybe you will too. When I asked Judi what I could possibly do to repay her. (knowing there was nothing I could give her that would be half a precious as her gift to me) But then she told me...there were many before you and there will be many after you.....offer them comfort and peace as often as you can...just as I have done for you....just "pay-it-forward". And so I do.....


Mom Be Bold
I may clutch a picture of my child
Wander into his room where the memories run wild
Thoughts come with me wherever I go
Prayers often lead my way, you know
My young one has left to be so brave
The hero of my heart, gone to save
At times I want to reach out and hold
But I know his answer, "Mom be bold."
The love of my child is part of me
So strong and good, it will always be
Nurtured in life by a caring heart
This child to me is a work of art
Dear God you know my love is true
I've prayed for my soldier, more I'll do
And to mothers who live their life and I
We'll grow in support, with our flag raised high
Together we'll get through each new day
Becoming great friends, God Bless our way.

I hope this helps you all as much as it helped me.

OOHRAH!!!!!!
My Son, My Sailor, My Hero!!!!
Leah

I have added the following" Part 2" February 13, 2009... I thought this might help some of you with kids getting ready to come out of boot...

Paying it forward part 2

Your sailor can draw strength from your prayers and faith....and when it is coming from their mother they can feel it even when we are miles apart...I want to share this with all of you...and these words came DIRECTLY from my daughter's boyfriend who just graduated from Marine boot on October 3 (OOHRAH India Company Plt 3083).....he said that he thought, just as did every other Recruit...he was ready for but too tired to do that last leg of the Crucible (the Marne equivalent of Battlestations to our recruits....only the crucible is 72 hours long and extremely physically and mentally taxing as it is reinactment of a full fledged combat zone and they are pushed to the very limits of their breaking point...) ...On the nine mile run back...with a 125 # RUK sack on his back, blisters on his feet, elbows bleeding, tired, hungry, and thirsty (still trying to save last bit of water just in case), still dark, and the most alone he had felt since he had arrived at Parris Island....he was waiting for the excitement that he thought he would feel at this point and that second wind to push him on through. Saturday morning he had struggled in the dark, but when he caught site of the smallest glimpse of a sunrise...he started thinking about home and just like we had promised in our last letter ... he felt us one by one starting to fall into step with him and taking every step right by his side all the way back in and he said at that very moment it was like God reached down and lifted the RUK sack off of his back, every thought of pain, hunger, thirst, and much needed sleep just disappeared. When my son who is in the Navy (ooohrah Jonathan...sorry had to get in an atta boy for my Sailor...lol) went to boot, in every letter he sent home...he would close with this... "I love you Mama, keep those letters and prayers coming...your boy needs them now more than ever..." and I did.....and you know what? Only one thing has changed since then....the word letters has been replaced with emails.... and so it goes as with each new military mom before you ..... on to the next chapter of this brand new life…Most likely while your Sailor was home on that first leave (or for when he comes home...just put my mistakes in the back of your mind for future references lol)...you felt as if he had forgotten all the love and nurturing you had given him as a boy that enabled him to become the man you just met. I know I did the first time Jonathan came home...it has taken us two years to come to an "understanding", which goes as follows. I understand he is grown, and he understands he is still my heart. I understand he has friends...and he understands while he is home I will bring them to him. (My house resembles the movie "Animal House" while he is home...lol), I understand unless he is being deployed he expects there is to be no crying in baseball, he understands this is one time he has to fold instead of me. I understand he knows my love is unconditional, he understands that I know he feels the other loves of his life are not, therefore lies his time managment priority. It took us almost two years of, angry words, hurt feelings and countless tears to understand where those of us left behind fell into a pecking order. For the few years of his military career he was immediately placed in a war zone…by me ....where he felt his mother was the enemy. . It was a life lesson I would not wish on anyone. That is why I want you all to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel that took us so long to find. I can tell you this not once did he fail to show his love for me... I just had to learn where to look, not once did he leave me out, I just had to join him (and he always made me feel welcome), in retrospect, you ask, the hardest part of it all? Looking at the months and months of time I LEFT MYSELF out of HIS LIFE, the life I spent 18 years preparing him for...Have I liked or agreed with every decision he has made thus far? No, absolutely not...Have I refused advice or help when it was ask of me? no, I have not....Have I regretted for even a one minute the MAN AND SOLDIER he has turned out to be (taking mistakes and all into consideration)??? And again...no, absolutely not. So it looks like we have it all figured out right? Not a chance....but we have learned how to make it work. Instead of us giving them rules and opinions...we now have to choose words carefully turning them into suggestions and acquired knowledge from our own mistakes....True enough a lot of it is in the wording...that's easy enough to fix...but the part that is in your heart that stirs you to feel the emptiness is the hard part to fix... This is the second half of the "pay-it-forward" debt I owe to the very wise Navy mom who helped me and these were her words that came in answer to the frazzled, irate, "off the chain", psychotic mother (ummmm that would have been me) on the other end of her phone at 3am almost a year ago...when she picked up the phone I got no hello,... no preface at all before this "Leah I know this you,. Number one no one else but you calls my house at 3am , and Number 2, I have gotten caller ID since we have become acquainted...(this is where I thought uh oh.) so what is it now Leah? Is that boy of yours causing you problems again??? (very sarcastic tone in her voice here...lol should've see it coming right there...) Well I am just about all out of advice for you...and now I need his phone number....(secretly I was laughing thinking Jonathan was just before meeting his match with this tough old broad....) So gladly I gave it to her...and I waited and waited....nothing (I am talking for days). But as i waited patiently I noticed one thing that was becoming all to apparent, my usually very eager to call home son was no longer calling every day.... but he would never fail to text me at least once during the day to tell me he loved me. About a month into this, I could no longer stand it the curiosity was killing me...what had she said?...why didn't he call as much?...and I was just about to call Jonathan to find out what the ole "battle axe" had done to turn my son against me when I remembered a post on the message board a few months back. So I searched her user name and went through one by one until I found it, (I was too scared to call her now and ask anything…lol...the near complete silence from her and my son had me a bit on edge)
DearXXXXX,
Yes I do believe I can help with your new soldier's attitude problem. That indifference you see when he is home and you are asking him not to stay gone too long him is telling you "Mom you should come too". That quick hug and kiss you get as he is slinging his smelly sea bag full of dirty utilities, underwear, and socks at you as he is running out the door is the confirmation you are looking for that YES he still realizes you are his mother (not to mention the only one he is sure that loves him enough to dare to even come close to the contents in that sea bag!). And that tear that you said he always wipes off your cheek as he bends over to kiss your forehead as he leaves....that is his way of returning your heart that he took with him everywhere as a boy. But now that he is a man, he knows the road home can only be illuminated with the love his mother holds in her heart for him....and by returning a mother's heart it will make that light shine so bright, that a child could never get too lost to findtheir way back home...Last, if you will keep in mind that he owed you none of the things that you have ask of him as a man, but you will always as his mother owe him everything, well then you both will find the peace and insight to heal that broken heart. This time ma'am it is not about you."
As always
xxxx

Now….don't ask me what comes next because, each of you have caught up with me…. The only thing I can tell you is yes…I have been through deployment….twice as a matter of fact…do I have any peace I can offer you??? No I don't ….but I will share this with you...it is what gave me the strength I share with each of you every chance I get…

A few months back I called my mentor's home to ask her some questions and a man answered the phone and I told him who I was he just said "I know….I mean...I don't really know who you are or what your name is but before I picked up the phone I knew your were a military mom, it is only 10 am here and there have been 7 calls just like yours already. I am sorry, but xxxx was killed in a car accident last week…but she left us a short handwritten note at the bottom of her will that told us to tell each of you that we might have any contact with that "today you must fly"…she said you would know what it meant……. and I do…until I hung up the phone I had forgotten one of the very first of many phone conversations I had with her, when I asked if the pain and constant worry would ever go away and how long it would take to get a hold on and make the best of this military mom thing like she had…..and she told me "one day you will fly….for now we'll just walk".

Truthfully....some days I still walk.... but the days I am able to fly are coming more and more often....stay busy and remember you raised a hero.....;-)

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I just read your post, Leah. What a tribute! Even though my son has been in a little over a year, it still rings true. I think you will find that your bond with your son will get stronger, and he will amaze you with what maturity he has through this experience.

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Thank you for sharing it helps me a lot especially the poem. My son is in BC now and will PIR on the 23rd. He is my only chil, I also have a step-son, but Joseph is my only. He was supposed to leave on Jan 20th, and I was all set for having him for the holidays before he left. Then out of the blue is recruiter called on the 17th of November and said you leave tomorrow. This I was not prepared for.

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PIR is Pass In Review. its the fancy way of saying graduation

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Hi my daughter left on 01/20 her PIR was supposed to be on 03/20/09 but due to an injury to her knee she has been put on another division while she gets physical therapy, when they first call me to let me know of the injury they said her PIR has been postponed 2 weeks, which to my calculations should be 04/03/09, BUT she has not been able to get update from doctor yet, I send her lot of letter with much encouragement and prayers she sounded very down and frustrated at the beggining but she is handling better now. Please I welcome any prayers so she can keep moving forward and heal properly. Thank you everyone, this is a great site for support!

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Thank's to all who have shared. I am a proud Mom of 2 sailor's. The first went through boot camp and IT school with no problem. He has a great career and Is stationed in Bahrain. Where he was able to communicate with us often. He helped me with his brother and He is now in Boot camp in Chicago . He got injured and has had a rough time. It is only a hurt ankle and hurt knee . I hope he is better and Graduates on Time. I have purchased my ticket and plan to attend. I cannot wait to see him. He was transferred to a different Div but is now back with his original group. Thank's for the poem. proud Mom, Melissa

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His Graduation is set For Mar 20, 2009

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Wow I'm speachless!

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Whoa! I missed the Kleenex Alert!!! Oh Leah, this was just wonderful. ....and that's what ties us so closely together. Thank you for sharing that with us!

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I am at peace- I am my son's nubmer #1 fan.

God has a plan-
Leah, I am rejoicing with tears in my eyes that our paths crossed at such a time as this... I will see my "sailor" for just a few hours on 23 Jan 09 after his PIR- he is a grad n go.
I know I will struggle when I see his plane in the air.
I will take this poem with me -- MOM BE BOLD
Thanks for being a new friend in my time of need.
I will pay-it-forward! I will be bold while I love my son to the moon and back!
Your friend for life in Oklahoma, Beth

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Good Morning Beth,
Thank you for the slide show. Our son, Alex, left Feb 10th for Great Lakes. His PIR is April 10th - we think. Will the Navy ship him out to A school the same day? We thought we would have the weekend with him. Kimberly

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Thank you so much for this.... my son leaves for basic training next week.... I have printed the poem and posted it at my desk and saved this website to my favorites.

Its reassuring to know that as I become a brand new Navy Mom, that I will not walk alone

God Bless all of our children for the sacrifices they are making

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Oh Wow! Yes Kleenex Alert.... This really touched me. Me and my children have always had a little fun ritual... I love you as high as the Sky, As deep as the ocean as far as I can see to the east and to the west and straight up to God and the Angels in heaven thats how much I love____________ (I would put my Kids name there and they would say mommy) so to the moon and back again really struck my heart. I needed this .Thank you but next time leave some kleenex for me.

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