Son is very depressed

[Yvette]

My son is on the Harry S Truman and Hates it and calls home often very depressed. I try to encourage him and pray for him daily. He told me I just don' t understand the living conditions and he hates his decision to join the Navy. He made it throught boot camp and A school with no problem but now it is a different story. Any suggestions on how to encouage him???

[maria]

Yvette,
I'm sorry your son is having a tough time. It must be so hard on you . Just keep trying to encourage him, there is so much we moms don't understand. Maybe there is a chaplin or someone he can speak to. My son is in Iraq so I don't know much about ship life, but so many of the girls here do , so hang in there someone here will have an answer or a way to help. As a mom though he really needs to speak to someone. Hugs to you , Maria

[Yvette]

Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

[Achseh]

It can be rough living on the ship when it seems that everyone else is out there "living life". You live, work, eat, play all in the same place! And that place is dark, the air smells and there are no windows. ugh.

Make sure he's taking the time to get off that ship daily (as long as he doesn't have duty). Even going on a run and getting some fresh air and sunshine can do wonders. There's not too much to do on base (Norfolk, right?) but there is a club, a gym, a McDs, etc, and the busses do run He should make sure he's getting away from there on weekends, too. MWR does have programs and outtings for single sailors so he should connect into those to get to know other singles on base to hang with (not just fellow shipmates).\

Eating properly, getting enough exercise and positive mental attitude also help.

It's rough now, but if he can hang in there, life does get better.

Good luck to him!

[Yvette]

Thank you for the advice. He is in Norfolk but right now the ship is docked in Portsmouth and there is nothing to do there:(. He does have a car and trys to get off but night time is the hardest for him. We do have friends close by for him to visit but not ware out his welcome. I will suggest some of these options with him. Thanks again!!!

[Vikki]

Yvette,
I am so sorry! I agree with Maria about how difficult this would be for you. One thing I have used with my kids in the past - like on a college sport team, etc - I remind them that "This is not for 'forever' and you can make make it through this time. Only ___ months more and then you will be done. (off the ship for..... ) You can do it ! " I also always remind them that God is with them and will help them through it - they only need to ask Him - and remember He is there for them.
I agree with seeking out the Chaplain and he might also try to find a diversion - perhaps take an online school course?
Will he always be assigned to a ship or is his job the type that he also has long periods of land duty (umm - sorry I don't know what you call that) Like my son is in England for 2 years and then will be on a ship... so perhaps if that is the case he can really see an end to this particular deployment and he may LOVE his next assignment.
I also tell my kids to try not to hang out with people who are unhappy in the same situation, it is just a breeding ground for negativity and depression. He should seek shipmates who have good and positive feelings about the NAVY and what they are doing. (Misery loves company, but upbeat happy people are uplifting and inspirational)
Will keep you both in my prayers! HUGS, ~ Vikki

[Yvette]

I'm looking for a church of our demomination close by for him to attend. I do think that will help/ He is an Airman so he will be on the ship for the next 4.5 YEARS! I think that is the hardest part. I will mention to him about taking classes - I do know he wants to start those. I think he is hanging out with the MISERY CROWD also because he mentions that everyone he talks to says he will hate it for the next 4.5 years. That just does not help.
We do have many people praying for him....

Thanks for your advice. I'm so glad I longed onto this site today.

[John]

Yvette, I have an understanding of what your son is going through. We happened to be docked next to the Truman at Portsmouth. There are many things for your son to do; first and foremost he must get away from those who are part of the "misery crowd" and find some new friends. Second, he needs to talk with the Chaplain and get involved in some COMRELs, where he will be able to volunteer to do some good in the Community (these are usually run by the Religious Ministry Department). Just so everyone is aware, a Naval Chaplain may not be of the same denomination as the Sailors , but when in comes to their needs we will take care of them regardless of their religious affiliation or lack of a denomination. There are many activities he can become involved in and once he does his attitude will change, but ultimately it is up to him to make the first move.

[Yvette]

Thank you so much for this info. I will pass this on to him. Thanks again!

[John]

Yvette, how's your son doing? Have you spoken to him this week? Please tell him to get in contact with Ch Mode, he's the Command Chaplain on board and will have some good advice for him.
Ch Kelly

[Yvette]

I did talk to him and yesterday was a good day. He is coming home for the weekend so I will let him know about this. Thanks for asking.

[Theresa]

Yvette,
The Portsmouth shipyard is in a not so nice area of Portsmouth and there in nothing close by for him to do. I think he will be much happier once the ship moves to Norfolk and he's on an actual base instead of at a shipyard. I understand that the ship will be moving within the month. I met a mom from CA on here and since I only live about 40 minutes away from Portsmouth, I try to take her son to Wal mart or to the mall when he needs a change of scenery. If your son needs anything at all, please contact me. I would be happy to help him. Like I said earlier, he is in a not so nice area. I would advise him not to leave the base on foot.

[Yvette]

Yes we have friends that live close by also and told him the same thing. We are very glad he as a car to get around and I think once he gets back on the BASE he will be much happier. thanks for the advice.