Son left for Basic Today

[Judy buds mom]

So this morning at 11 am I had to drop my baby off at the recuriters for his long trip to basic. I did not handle it very well. Although, I am very proud of him and his determination, I am so sad to see him go. We have not gone a day without talking to each other in 2 years. My son was suppose to leave in June but he is in the SPEC OP program and got rolled in early because his mentor was thought he was ready to go. We had 4 days to get everything together and try to wrap my brain around the fact that he was leaving early. I am so going to miss him. Can anyone give me some tips on how they got over this period?

[Suzanne]

Judy - Nobody handles this well. We just handle it. How do we do it? Everybody is a little different. Some of us pray. Some of us knit. Some of us write daily letters to our sailors while they are in BC. Some of us do all of those things and more. N4Ms website was an invaluable link to other moms who could feel what I was feeling when my sailor left 9 months ago. I read everything I could about BC, what they did each week, what their daily schedule was like, etc. I wrote letters to my sailor every day, encouraging him to do his best and telling him how proud I was of him. We all have our good days AND our bad days. I always felt lucky to have my N4Ms friends especially on the bad days. It was great when I found other moms who had kids in the same division as mine, moms who had kids who were going to PIR with mine. Its a tough 8 weeks, but you and your sailor will come thru just fine. Ask lots of questions of the folks here. They've got lots of valuable information and are very willing to share. Welcome to the Club, Navy Mom!

[Barbara's Page]

Dear Judy,
How are you doing? It does get easier in time. The best thing for you to do is to stay in contact with other Navy moms. We all have been through this. We know what your feeling, we understand.

Please don't hestiate to write to any of us. We're all here for you.
Take care and God bless,
Barbara

[Elizabeth(MomofJosh)]

Well Judy......I'll be dropping mine off today. Swearing in is tomorrow, and I'm already in tears(when he isn't around, of course). I was a sailor, but it isn't easy for me either. I guess it's different when it's your own child. I actually got more time with mine, as he was supposed to leave last August, but a ligament injury to his hand pushed it back to now. I have a lot of projects I pushed back so I would have something to keep me busy for those first few REALLY BAD days, because I know they're going to come. I know what he's doing is right though, so that helps me get through it too. Maybe our sons will be together. But just know that you are NOT alone, I'm right there with you and if you need to "talk", just write and we'll get through it together.

[Judy buds mom]

Elizabeth,

Thanks for the words of sympathy and encouragment even when you are getting ready to face it. Went yesterday to pick up my grandson and that has helped me alot. But he looks an awful lot like his uncle so that kind of plays against me sometimes. I am breathing better today. Been reading everyones post on here and that is really helping me. Stay strong today and I will be thinking about you.

[Elizabeth(MomofJosh)]

Thanks, Judy. I dropped him off at the Recruiting office, and he's at his hotel now. Swearing in is at 11 or so tomorrow, and then, he's off. Hubby took me out to dinner and we were talking and I burst out in tears. Luckily, I got them stopped fast before I embarassed myself. I know I'll get to see him tomorrow before he goes, but it's going to be so strange. He's been gone from home before for short periods, but never this long and never out of touch. That's what's so hard. The out of touch part. Hang in there, though, it will get better for us both.

[Judy buds mom]

Elizabeth,
Hold on girl. It will be ok. My son Derrik has been texting me today. Every message I get I have known that would be the last and then I get one more. Derrik told me this morning that he was DQ and then he told me that he was just kidding. So my heart has been doin flip flops all day. But keep going it will be ok\

[Kim (Jason's Mom)]

Hi Judy,

My son Just arrived in GL today. He left on Monday, and I have not handled this well at all. I have these crying jags that come as they please. I too am proud of my son and I know he will do well. But, like you, we are close as well and it is hard not being able to talk to them or see them.
The saving grace is this site, there are so many wonderful women here. I will pray for you and know that you are not alone.

Kim

[Judy buds mom]

Kim ,
Thanks for the prayers. I will certainly be gald when the communication can be restored. I think that will make things much easier for us all. Today will not be a good day since I know that Derrik will not be contacting me at all. I too am having bouts of uncontrollable crying hoping to get over that soon. Take care

[Lizzette.Luis' Mom DIV 189]

Hang in there moms. It will get a little bit worse and then everything will clear up again and you will be just fine. My son has been there going on his 6th week now. It was so horrible at first. I will not lie. Those feelings are invevitable. We are moms above everything else and we are very emotionally attached to our children. It's ok to cry and you will defenitely have outbursts at times. My first day was so bad and my heart was hurting so much. I mean literally it hurt inside so bad. I just let myself cry and breathed deeply. I got on my pc in search of some support and came across this N4M. What a blessing this is. I have spent every single day since he left searching for answers and finding so much love and support.

Here is what might happen next: You will receive your child's belongings in a box they packed themselves. You will be reluctant to open it at first and when you finally build the strength up to do so you will. You will stare at the things with a sort of hollow and sad feeling because that was what he/she wore when you last saw him/her. It's ok to cry at this point. Actually it is healthier to let it out then to try to be brave and hold back. Then some will refuse to wash them so they can smell their child but most of us do go ahead and wash them... That my dear moms was the hardest thing for me. Then about a couple of days to a week later you will receive a form letter from RTC and it will give you your son/daughter's official mailing address. This is a good address but call the recruit right away for the street address which is available on their system. The one the recruit gives you is the best because it gets there the fastest. That will be the one with the ship # DIV # and street name. Start writing letters today if you haven't done so and make sure to date them. By the time they get these letters they are outdated so they need those dates to keep everything in perspective... Now you start to feel much better. Keep posting and keep writing your kids and this will help you get through it. I hope this helped somewhat. It may not be a poem or too sensitive but I tried to keep it real so you can know where you are headed... Good Luck and God Bless

[Lizzette.Luis' Mom DIV 189]

P.S. somewhere in you form letter you will see 4 lines provided for you child to write you a message. You will re-read them for your own comfort and this will make you feel better too....I saved mine.

[Judy buds mom]

Thanks Lizzette, I have really been finding N4Ms helpful. I still am crying at the drop of the hate but I know that this too shall pass. I have been logged in for almost 24 hours now reading everyones stories, crying alot, thinking alot and laughing alot. Everyone is so supportive. I for one am glad I found N4Ms

[Paula]

Hi Judy, you are handeling the way most of us Moms do & did. DONT hold it in, stress is a silent killer. That is why we are here, to listen, help & console you. One thing I I can Promise is it does get easier. Even the deployments gets a little easier. Don't get me wrong, I miss my son everyday but in a few weeks you will hear his voice again. Then after PIR, you guys can talk or text regularly for a while.

Thanks to you & him for joing the military.

Paula