Very Curious!!!!

[Tracy (Andre's mom)]

I wanted to know how many moms out here have children that before enlisting in the Navy may have left home for college. The question I have is: When they left to boot camp were you more stressed than when they left for college or was it the same?

The reason I ask is because after my son graduated from high school about a year later he decided to go into the Job Corp. to learn a trade. He did not like it and came home after about five months. We had contact with Andre and in those five months he got to come home for a leave a few times. I was fine with him going to the Job Corp., I was not worried at all. Since he has been in boot camp this was stressful to me because it is wwwaaayyy more intense than college or Job Corp. as far as mentally and just the rigidness of boot camp. Andre PIR's on 12/05, however due to letters I have written and the way I have express myself through different means to Andre since he has been in boot camp, I recieve comments from his father and Andre himself saying "You didn't act like this when he/I was in Job Corp." like as if I didn't care and now all the sudden I do. I try to tell them there is no comparison between the two. So I am just wondering if any other mom experienced a child that was in or currently in boot camp left for some other event that did not stress them but they have been stressed with the boot camp thing.

Thank you to all who reply.

[Brenda Sue]

Never been in this situation - but you said that when he was in Job Corp. you had contact. MAJOR DIFFERENCE!!!
Just knowing that I can pick up that phone and have my son on the other end means a lot!
My Sailor has been deployed where I would not hear ANYTHING for days (like bootcamp).
Much different than when he is in a place where he has access to a phone.
Also, in Job Corp. you probably knew what the future held.
The Navy - NO ONE knows what the future holds (but by your icon, I can tell you know who holds the future).

[Paula]

Hey Tracy, You do not 2nd guess yor self. It is different as Brenda Sue said, this is the unknown. IF they can't understand them forget it.
Paula

[Susie-Mom of BlackGryphon]

My son didn't leave home for college exactly, but he did leave for a long-term internship. The stress of him leaving for that doesn't even come close to BC stress! I could talk to him a few times per week, and I knew he was safe and healthy. Plus, if he didn't like it, he could always get out of it. Not so with the military!

[fly 2]

My son went to college and than to BC. BC is wayyyyy more stressful.

[Maryanne-Michael's mom]

I agree with the other ladies. My son went away to college for 4 years and there's a big difference. Joining the military as my son did means just what the Navy Core Values state, Honor Courage and Commitment. Navy Moms got me through two weeks of tears and stress. I was totally stressed but knew that my son was going to be okay. Please read on.. This is why it's not the same as college and as moms we are all thinking of this.

A portion of a letter (below) from a sailor/soldier during World War Two to his mother and brothers. He was killed three days later.

Take a combination of fear, anger, hunger, thirst, exhaustion, disgust, loneliness, homesickness, and wrap that all up in one reaction and you might approach the feelings a fellow has. It makes you feel mighty small, helpless, and alone... Without faith, I don't see how anyone could stand this."

God Bless our sailors and soldiers and all the moms and dads!
Maryanne

[Tanya54]

My son was away and actually graduated college. Yet for me the unknown, of the Navy commitment, will bring is was what still remains as a stressful situation for me as the parent. Boot camp was not in itself a problem, it's not knowing what he will face in the next 6 years. I am tremendously proud of his commitment, but I will never lose the pang in my heart when he is deployed.

[Melissa (Tucson)]

My son attended ASU in Tempe, AZ (about 100 miles from home). He had a cell phone so we talked daily. He was close enough to come home every other weekend and of course, for all holidays including Christmas break for 3 weeks and all during the summer. And as I'm writing this, I'm wondering to myself, how could I have possibily missed him??? But I did. But NOTHING compared to Boot Camp.

GL is a long ways from home. And we don't know what goes on there (the Navy wants it that way). So the sepertion anxiety was really bad.

When my youngest daughter graduated from college and found a job in Burbank, CA, I almost died! That was 3 years ago and I've finally stopped tearing up when I think of her....

[Lynn]

It sounds like it's unanimous! My daughter was away for college for three years about 2 hours away and that was fine. She graduated in April and I thought I would be fine with her going to boot camp. Wrong!! In all of her 21 years I had never gone that long without talking to her. The first two weeks were definitely the hardest but once her letters started coming and I got a phone call it lightened my heart. Now she's in A school and the dread is creeping in again because we don't know where she will be sent yet. Tracy, your feelings are very normal. Keep in touch with all of us moms and we'll get you through it.

[calebs mom]

i feel the same way u do. my son is now stationed in california. and will b deployed in jan it is very hard not knowing what is going on. dont know if i will get 2 talk 2 him or what.and bootcamp just killed me! i didnt know if he was ok or what.ur right the first weeks was so hard. god will bless u and her if u want 2 talk im here 4 u. michelle

[Maureen]

Vickie, You aren't the only one to feel relief that your child joined up. I am in the same position. Although my son stayed in college (6 years) long enough to get his degree, he still was unfocused and lacked direction. He was also considerably less mature than either his father or I were at that age. As parents we were both frustrated because all we could see was this incredibly intelligent person with many advantages drifting his way thru life, and it made us wonder where we went wrong in raising him. BC has been stressful, but mainly because of other factors in our lives right now (his sister is due to give birth to our first grandchild any day now and his grandmother may well end up in a nursing home by Christmas,) coupled with the lack of contact with him. I am trying to maintain, since I know there will be periods in the not too distant future when I may be able to hear from him, but that contact will be censored. Being a former Navy spouse, I know there will be many times when I won't know where he is or when he will be back stateside. At the same time, there is the relief that he has committed to something and is turning in to the man we knew he could be.

[Chris A.]

As a mom who put 2 kids through college, one of whom is now in the Navy, I can tell you that for me, boot camp was less stressful. Why? Because I knew he wasn't out carousing around, drinking or whatever. At boot camp I knew the Navy was in charge of him, wouldn't let anything happen to him, keep him safe and making him pay attention. Sure, not being able to talk to him whenever I chose was hard, but it only lasted a few weeks and now he's in A school I can talk to him every day. So no, boot camp was far less stressful for me.

[Kathy]

Seeing my son off to bootcamp was much more stressful. My son enlisted this past June at the age of 29. Since college graduation, he lived on his own, even moving to Colorado for a year (we live in Pennsylvania). Until bootcamp, we were always able to be in touch, even see each other whenever we wanted except for the year in Colorado. It was the inability to be in touch with him that made bootcamp stressful for me. I'm relieved to say that since graduation, we've been able to talk more - sometimes just like before boot. Hope you find this to be true for you, too.