Things to Help Moms be strong & get throught the First Call..

[PL Div 389 Ship 14 Mom]

Hello to all that has a Love one In Boot Camp.. My son is entering his 6 week of BC. He left 9/17/09 I got my first call Friday October 9th the day before his 19th B-day.. I was so scared that when he called I would cry and upset him and it would just be horrible. So I made my self notes, I carry my phone and these questions around with me All the time....Some questions I Asked were:

Do you like your Hair?
How is the food?
What are some things you guys have been doing? I also wrote down some things that had been going on with us. Football highlights.. And Just how proud everyone is.. Post from Fb etc.

I am so emotional and , When I saw the 847 area Code, of course my heart dropped. I said HELLO, all he said was hey and I could hear the crying... he finally got out Mom I only have 15 minutes..... I grabbed my notes and said let's not waste it crying, let's talk about you!!! I managed to turn him around. It was hard. Hopefully I have given info that might help you when your SR calls........... Untill you get OFFF the phone of course..lol
I know that others have something to share re: this, and How they did their first call... Hopefully I am not the weakest link......lol

Standing Proud and Learning to let go.
Paula

[ThanksMom]

My daughter is through BC already, but I thought I'd pass on some of my thoughts.

They are uncertain of what they CAN share, they are learning about OPSEC and all. My daughter apparently decided that if I already knew about it then it couldn't be secret, right? That's where this website was so handy, I could ask questions like: what is the Navy calendar week and day for your division today? Are you still in your smurf suit or BDUs? Have you had the swim test? Did you work the Marlinspike yet? Have you done the gas chamber?

Easy common things you might ask include: do you have the top rack or bottom? Who has the bed below/above? Who is beside you? Has your division found the most artistic one yet? Who is the funniest? Why is he the funniest? Where are you in the height line? What new foods have you discovered?

You are right, Paula, get everyone focused on something other than being upset and missing each other!

[Navy Aunt (AF Wife)]

ThanksMom, thanks for posting various questions we can ask our recruit. I wrote them all down to keep by my phone so I can make the most out of our phone call.

[Tina-Sunrise]

I didn't think about the first call, that my son would be the one crying. I only thought about not being the one blubbering and upsetting him. Thanks for the heads up, if that situation had come up I'm not sure I would have reacted in a supportive way.
A big thank you!!!

[Dawn]

Okay Paula.......I had JUST stopped crying (since Tuesday) when I read your post and had to open up yet another box of tissues. Seriously, I am so glad that you were finally able to talk to your son and on the day before his birthday!!!!! I need to prepare for that phone call too I suppose. I am a mess. I never thought it would be this difficult. We said goodbye to my nephew who left for Afghanistan in late October and I didn't think anything could be more difficult than that. But, saying goodbye to my son as he left for boot was so difficult, and I was counting on the "I'm here safe" phone call that never came. I am longing to hear his voice. Thanks for sharing your story.....even through the tears, it helps!

[cjkmom]

Paula and the others that replied to her post,
Thank you so much for the comments and insights! I got the first call 2 nights ago. I didn't expect it to be so hard. My son really didn't even sound like himself. He gave the basic info and then " I gotta go". I hadn't really been emotional until that point. Now it was real.
I'm prepared now for the possible next call. At least I think I am :) Thanks ladies! cjkmom

[DAVIDSmom]

Hi Ladies--Just wanted to let you know that as your recruits time goes by in BC it does get easier for them. The first phone call is rough as they only have a short time to let you know pertinent information. As you get more phone calls you will hear a big change in their voices. My son's PIR is 11/20 and the last few letters and phone calls have been very upbeat and positive. The first 3 weeks are rough on them but then they see the light at the end of tunnel as they get prepared for their graduation. Hang in there things will get better

[NavyMom2009]

Oh my goodness! I had to grab tissues when I read this string, too. We received our first real letter from our son today and although he seems to be keeping his sense of humor, I can tell he's really homesick. Even though I know he's feeling down, until I read this I hadn't even thought about him being the one crying during our first call (we didn't get the "I'm here" call). Thank you all for the advice about preparing for the first call. I've been sending him questionnaires with each letter and I think I'll put one together to have ready for the first call.

From what I understand, the first call comes in about 3 weeks, correct? Our son left on 10/27, so would it be 3 weeks from when he left or 3 weeks from the first Monday after he left?

Thanks,
Joanne

[Sammie]

Good topic PL, thank you.

Our daughter arrived in GL on 10/6. We did get the "I'm here" call and she was very upbeat & positive. The 1st letter home was also very positive, she was really enjoying her time there. But the 2nd & 3rd letters weren't so positive for a variety of reasons. Her 1st phone call home came on day 22 of being there. And yes, SHE was the one who cried! I asked her why she was crying and she said because she was just so happy to hear my voice! Imagine that! My eyes did begin to tear up, but lucklily for me at that very moment perfect timing) the cat & dog did something hilarious and I busted up laughing, which caused her to start laughing when I told her what they did. It was a beautiful mother/daughter moment. After the laughter settled down I could hear the peace in her voice and I could visualize the smile on her face. She needed to cry AND she needed the laugh too. And she just needed to hear mom's voice to boost her spirits and to know that we are her greatest cheerleader. They desire to hear our voices just as much as we wish to hear theirs.

Most recruits probably will cry when they call home that first time, and that's ok, they need to get it out. They are physically exhausted, sleep deprived, probably sick with the crud, most are experiencing discomfort from dental work and they're HOMESICK.

We've reached that half-way milestone and things are looking up. Hang in there moms! They can do it and so can we.

[Tina-Sunrise]

PL-Thank you sooooo much. I just got a call from my son and as soon as I heard his voice the tears started but then I remembered this discussion and I pulled myself together and we had a wonderful positive three way talk with my husband and I. I'm so happy that I was able to concentrate on him and that I was able to show him how happy and proud we are of him without any tears. Thanks you : )

[Michelle PIR 11/13/09]

I too remember the first call (after the 30 sec. I'm here call)...... My son was a MESS!! I was NOT expecting that!! I was able to hold my tears back and I DID manage to get his mood turned around and as cheerful as possible. (That night, I cried myself to sleep!!) It is very hard, being the first outside contact many of them have. My son had only received my letters (all 30 of them) the day before, as they hold them for the first three weeks. Some have NOT received them before they get their call home, just reassure them, you have been writing and they will get ALL of their letters soon!! My son called three weeks to the day that he arrived at boot camp. I guess it can very by a day or two though. Calls after that were EARNED.

The best advice I could possibly give.........TRY not to cry until after you get off the phone (it's hard, but try). AND....Write EVERYDAY if you can, They LIVE for those letters!! I started writing the day my son left, and just wrote my last letter Saturday. My son will PIR this Friday....11/13/09 with Paula's son!!

Ladies......it WILL get a little easier. My son called twice last week, laughing and joking. If anyone wants to add me as a friend, I will be glad to help you with any questions!!

Stay Strong, Stay Focused, Stay Tough........Tough Times Never Last, Tough People DO!!!!
(this is what I ended EVERY letter to my son with!)

Michelle

[Doreen]

You sound like an AMAZING MOM!!! I will print this out and also be strong when I receive my first call from my son. He left October 28 - got the first form letter with a few lines in his handwriting stating if he does bad he may have a different PIR date and would explain in a "real letter" I'm not going to read into this - I imagine every SR is instructed to inform us that the PIR date could change if their is any delay. thanks for your valuable advice on staying strong for them!!

[andrea]

Hey Doreen, My son left Oct 28th also from IN. Just wondering if you are also from INDY??