Practical Matters for Incoming Freshman

[SusanW]

Hi experienced Navy NROTC moms,

Now that son's senior year is almost over, I am starting to worry about what to expect in the late summer and fall. We've gotten only one communication from his NROTC unit, so I know that orientation week will begin in late August, but don't know much else. Son is attending a cross-town affiliate school, so things are probably a little different than if he were attending college where the unit is located.

My first question has to do with how much parents should be involved in making certain that everything - financial aid and payments, accomodations for the required classes/PT at the unit, etc. - is all set to go. I know that it is time for son to start taking control of his life, but he seems to feel that the school and the unit will give him the guidance he needs when the time is right. I, of course, want to know that everything is set NOW. I know that I will not be there in three months to push him to do what has to be done, so I'm wondering if this is the time to back off (as hard as that may be).

I imagine that son will start to hear some things from the unit soon. When does that typically start happening?

Another big concern is about finances and the payment of tuition, fees, and the kids' stipends. How does it all work? Is there a delay in the payment, so that we need to be prepared to cover the first semester's costs - at least for awhile?

I have a million other questions, but I guess for now I need some advice on what my role should be at this point in my future midshipman's life? (I don't suppose that you can tell that son is my oldest?)

Thanks a bunch!

[NavyMomXXXY]

It is so easy to screw up and so hard to get back what you lose.......and so hard to get our kids to listen. "But it was only once - from the 14 year old who is pregnant, "I only had two beers" from the 18 year old who killed someone in an auto accident, "...and so on. There is no second chance at life, and everything, EVERYTHING we do is part of our personal history. Tough thing for young adults to learn. And the military doesn't take "it wasn't my fault" as an excuse. Either you are or you aren't - period. Sorry to hear about your son's friend, but hopefully, he will learn that the friends he hangs with are part of his reputation. My daughter would literally walk out of a room if there was any illicit drug use going on - mainly because she was scared to death that is a pee test was done the next day she would test positive simply from being in the same room. There is no such thing as being too careful when the military is paying your bill, because there are a hundred other young men and women who want your spot.

[KP]

Hi Kay!
Glad to hear SO was so great because we leave tomorrow!!! FINALLY got all those NROTC forms filled out and will deliver in person. Is it difficult to find time to get to the NROTC office while you are at orientation? We are thinking the forms could be taken in on Thurs around noon once the orientation is over... Did you go to all the parent orientation sessions? Which ones were most helpful? Any hints? Can't wait to meet you and all the other Moms in August - it will be here before we know it! Still searchin' out the socks...

[Kay M.]

Hi KP! Sorry I didn't get back to you before you left...we were gone all last week. How was your SO? I'm looking forward to meeting you, too. Before Aug. 16 I'll try and put a real picture on my page so you know who to look for.

Did you find the socks? I found some (over 80% cotton) at Kohl's. Still need to get most of the other things, but that's just a quick stop at Walmart.

[Helomom]

Susan-
I looked up your son's school, it has Air Force ROTC on campus. So I'm sure he will run into (or with - they all seem to be doing PT all the time) some of those cadets in his classes. My son was at a cross-town affiliate school. It was mostly Army but the are all sharing the same type of experience so he will have lots of people to commiserate with. You also mentioned in an earlier post about campus jobs. My son did end up working the last two years as a campus security guard. The campus security guards seemed to be mostly ROTC people, guess those are the ones you can trust. The job worked out well for him as they planned around his schedule. Often his guard post was the most quiet place to study. It was a very busy 4 years. His NROTC unit didn't cut him any slack to allow for his being cross-town. He had to check his mailbox at the unit every afternoon just like any on-campus midshipman. 6:00 am drills meant he had to leave by 5:30 to get there, get parked, get to the squad. Parking was very problematic. His car was registered to us and he got so many campus parking tickets his first year (which were mailed to us) I finally started paying them out of HIS savings account. That got his attention. When all was said and done, it was pretty neat time in his life. He was the first cross-town midshipman to be named the Midshipman Captain of his unit during his senior year. Doesn't mean a thing to the fleet but it was cool at the time. Pinning, commissioning, and graduation are just blur now. Then we had winging and a wedding and babies. Sea tours, IA to Afghanistan... One milestone after another. This is your oldest, he's my baby... I'm not sure which is worse ;-)

[SusanW]

Hi Helomom,

Yes, students from Macalester can belong to the Air Force ROTC detachment at the University of St. Thomas, but none are involved right now. My son's ok with being the only ROTC student on campus. While he knows that he may encounter some resistance at his very liberal, very politically-active college, he also knows that he'll find support for what he does. As he says, one of his roles is to defend the right of individuals to have and express their own opinions.

Parking at the unit will probably be an issue for my son as well. First of all, it is going to be expensive at the University of Minnesota, so he'll have to budget for that. It looks like we were too late to get into the lottery for parking passes (or maybe he would not have even qualified since he is not a degree-seeking student at Minnesota). We'll have to look into that further.

Son still hasn't found out what his dorm situation is or who he will be rooming with. His college underestimated the number of freshman that would accept their offers of admission, so housing may be a little tight. (Normally, the freshman class is about 490 students - this year's freshman class is 570).

I experienced a little 'letting go' this week as son was traveling with friends in Switzerland, the Netherlands, and France. (A benefit of the NROTC scholarship is a little extra cash in his pocket) I had no way to get in touch with him, so I just had to trust that he would call if he needed to. His friends flew home on a separate flight. Son's flight home from Zurich got cancelled and he had to take care of getting himself rebooked, getting the airline to pay for hotel/meals, and everything else that goes along with a cancelled flight. Everything went fine and he enjoyed his extra 24 hours with folks he met from Greece, Brazil, and Germany. When he finally got home, he was surprised that I had worried.... : )

[NavyMomXXXY]

You're starting the long, long journey - and I'm not sure it ever ends - the letting go part, I mean. My 92 year old mom still worries about me. I have no intention of telling her I just got a motorcycle, or she will have heart failure!

Your son sounds like a fine, responsible young man, and he will do fine. ROTC will be his family at school, even if he isn't at Minnesota. He may be able to arrange something through ROTC for parking, I don't remember. Additionally, our daughter wound up working for the parking service (great job, lots of time to study), and got free parking as a bennie - good deal, something your son might want to look into after he gets his feet under him.

[Paulette - NROTC mom]

I just love the motorcycle comment- how funny- lol. Our kids will always be our kids and--- our moms will always be our moms :) Not too long ago we had some mishap (trying to remember exactly what it was) but I remember saying to my daughter "You know who will have the answer to this.. Oma (who is my mom). She looked at me totally shocked when I called my mom and she indeed had the answer :D
I'm so fortunate I still have my mom because I still reach out to her for so many "little" things.

[NavymomBarb]

Susan,
I also know a young man who had a scholarship (not Navy) and was planning to go to college. He was in the car with some boys who broke into a building and vandalized it the summer before he was to go. He stayed in the car but there were security cameras in the building, so the boys who went in got caught and turned him in too. He lost his scholarship and did not end up going to college at all. Last I heard he was working for some landscaping company. So sad when these kids don't realize that the choices they make now can affect their whole lives.