A quote from another Navy4Moms Blog. Touched and Inspired me and I wanted to share it.

[G-Man's Mom]

An Open Palm
Posted by Angie F. on August 15, 2008 at 2:22pm
One of the hardest things as a Mom is knowing when to release your grasp and let your child spread his wings. From the moment they arrive, we snuggle them close, nurse them, protect them fiercely, intercede, advocate, sacrifice and generally go over the top to make sure they have everything they need to be happy, safe and successful. It is not a job for the faint of heart. Often, we find ourselves holding onto them with clenched fists, the world beyond our safe harbor can be such a cruel and scary place. It's natural to want to close ranks around them and keep them in, to want them to stay where we can continue to watch over them and control what affects them. Especially if you are not sure if they know what they are doing.

I remember when my son was about 15, he was obsessed with dying his hair blond. I knew of course, that it would look awful and streaky in his thick dark hair, but he was determined! Guess I should be thankful he wasn't fixed on piercing something or a tattoo (both of which he did in college later, go figure!) but I was the Mom and I was equally determined it wasn't going to be. So, I simply outsmarted and out waited him... I gave my permission on the condition that he let my Uncle who is a hairstylist do it (who lived 300 miles away, guess how many times a year we saw him) and that he wait until we had our family portrait done. Guess how long it took for that to happen?! Yep, until the desire faded. =) Diabolically sneaky and underhanded I know, but sometimes a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do...what amazes me is that even though he was persistent, he never caught on or raised a huge stink.! He's very smart and wasn't one to disobey, suppose he figured it wasn't worth the fight. [the Mom in me just hopes it's because he realized how incredibly wise I was! =) ]

But at some point, that clenched fist must become an open palm, a place to receive whatever your fledgling adult offers and a launching pad for them into the world beyond, sometimes into the unknown. This is especially so when your precious offspring decides to join the Military! The launching process is suddenly accelerated and even the most "adjusted and open minded" Moms can be thrown for a loop! I know I was, and since I did not have any prior military experience or history of service on my side of the family, I was probably not as open minded as some. I was concerned, intrigued and downright scared. Still, I knew this one I could not out think, outsmart or out wait him on. It was going to happen, one way or another. He'd been living on his own for two years; seeking my/our blessing and understanding was a loving, honorable courtesy on his part. I have always been a roll up my sleeves and get involved in the process kind of person, so I set about to educate myself (hubby was on board already) and then had a nice long chat with his recruiter. Poor guy! I didn't mince words or spare his feelings, I asked the tough questions and expected honest, informative answers. This was the only way I could come to terms with and get a handle on my son's choice.

I have spent countless hours in the bleachers at school events, cheering him on, I wasn't going to disappear now. I knew that he would still need my support and encouragement, just in a different way. This is what Moms do. The trick is to find a way to do it in a way that is not intrusive or obstructive and allows them to slide into the role of grown up seamlessly. A tall order for sure, one that takes dying to my own selfish needs to hang on, to smother, to delay the inevitable, but one that has immense rewards. My son called from Hospital Corpsman "A" school the other day. He's really enjoying the process of learning to be a Medic, something we never anticipated! He's been impressed at how much I've learned since being on N4M's! He told a fellow classmate (who's Mom is also on N4M) "I think my mom knows more about the Navy than I do!" :) He calls now to ask me to look things up and find out information for him, he calls to keep me up to date, he calls because he knows I will swallow my fears and pray, support and encourage him no matter what. I was the first person he told that he'd been asked to be Platoon Leader for his class. He was weighing it out and asked for (needed) my input. That is my role, still nurturer, cheerleader and prayer warrior, but now reflective sounding board and trusted adviser, always and forever Mom.

My response:
This is a great story and I'm so glad I happened upon it. The letting go part of being a Mom is by far the worst experience of being a Mom. At the same time it's one of the best. Knowing you've done your job to raise them to become good, honest, committed, intelligent, respectful, trusting, kind and many other adjectives, young men! The best was yesterday because I received my first phone call. It wasn't the liberty call where he could chit chat, but a call of "NEED". He needed me to get additional information for something. I was so happy and thrilled to know that after my clinched fist became the open palm, a very difficult point in my life, he returned ever so briefly and still needed me. Know I see my role as you explained in your letter."Still a nurturer, cheerleader and prayer warrior, but now reflective sounding board and trusted adviser, always and forever Mom". Thank you for putting my feelings into words I could understand! Just another reason this site is so awesome. Unless you are going through this you don't understand, you can be sympathetic, but they just don't understand truly! Thank You for understanding and that goes out to all the Moms on this site. God Bless.

[Tammy]

Wow, that's some pretty heavy stuff. It really makes you stop and think when some one writes something from the heart. Thanks for sharing this with us! In some way they will always need us and we will always need them. It's our Mom bond that never goes away.

[Kim]

Wow so true. The Navy finishes what we started. It's hard at times being on this rollercoaster ride. But we all have so much to be proud of. A mothers bond is forever. They always know we are there for them. They will always need us even tho they won't admit it. Thanks mom!!

[Mary E. Burns]

Angie, my name is Mary from Iowa and I just recently found this site and your open palm letter! It was incredible! Even though we may never meet, moms are somehow connected and the jonly ones that truely understand. Our son Brandon got to come home from overseas for the first time in almost 2 yrs and it was difficult at first for me to let him be the awesome young man he has become. Your letter certainly helped me put things into perspective when he gets to come home again! Thank-you

[Susanne]

I do so appreciate reading the words I desperately need to hear. I have been struggling with my "loss" as it feels since he graduated from boot camp in April. I recognize it is my problem to deal with as he is doing exactly what he is suppose to. I now sit back and wait, I don't bother him as I know his schooling is intense. If he only recognized that now its his turn, I need him, call your mom once in awhile to see how she is. I miss you son.

[Michelle AKA:Moma Wojo]

"Mom's" ... the word holds so many different meanings. We truly are the nurturer, cheerleader, advisor, safe haven, protector of anyone and anything that may come near our young. At the same time we are nurturing and advising our young into this unknown world, it is terrifying to let them go... it tears at our natural response to protect and provide. I was so touched tonight by your letter "the palm" that I am printing it to put into my book for my children when they grow and have children of their own.
It has been just these last 2 years (wow 2 already), that my 'palm' had to open, and let my son fly away on his dream, a journey that I had been training him for all along, but as a mother it is so bitter sweet when it happens. At that time thought that he didn't need me anymore, that he wouldn't call upon me for advice and be busy with growing his own life so far away.... To my delight and warmth of heart he has on several occasions still shared with me some of his most treasured thoughts. He writes when he can and tells me with excitement of new discoveries and accomplishments... True, mothering is not for the faint of heart, but it is the best job that one could ever have. The rewards of seeing your young fly high with pride on there wings is a feeling that can not be felt or appreciated by any other occupation, nore is another as important.
It is my first sons leaving, and his desire to return to the nest for rest and advice, that is helping me deal with his 2 siblings still at home, not too far behind in age. What is a mother to do when we have helped each of our young to fly high?? That has been my question for many months as the birthdays pass by. Thanks to your letter tonight I am reminded that my job is not over, and I need only to look at my E-Mails from my son, and listen to his voice when he calls to remember that. Thank you for bringing me around again.
Moma Wojo