The chance I had to honor Richard Harper (son of Andrea Chapman)...

[C from T]

Well I have had some time to settle in at home after the funeral, and Andrea had asked that I share with all of you how the funeral for Richard went. I sat down Sunday night to write this and just could not bring myself to do it. I sat again Monday, and Tuesday and still could not do it. So here I am today, and I am going to try the best way I can to explain the happenings of this past weekend...
I flew into Atlanta airport early Friday morning, rented a car and made my way south to Warrenton GA. When I arrived at Andreas ex-husbands home I was not sure of what was in store for me. I knew I had to be there for my friend but just had no words to ease her pain. I was met at the door by open arms as if I were a member of the family. When Andrea walked out all I could do was wrap my arms around her and just tell her I was there for her. She introduced me to everyone, and it was decided that we would drive into the funeral home to visit Richard. When we arrived at the funeral home and went inside my heart just sank. There across this huge room was Richards casket covered in a US Flag. I wanted to fall to the floor and just cry but knew I needed to hold it together for Andrea. The flow of people into visit just was continuious. We stayed only for a little while as visitation was later that evening. After we made it back out to the house and changed clothes we headed to the life center of the church for Richards visitation. There were over 450 names on the book that night of people that came by to pay their respects. This young man was truely loved. That evening I met the Petty Officer that escorted Richard back from VA. He was so soft spoken and had really been there for the family. He also was a truely amazing young man. The room was the size of a basketball gym and the flowers started at one end and went all the way to the other side, two rows deep. I sat that evening listening to storys from his high school friends and family. I felt by the time I left that night that I too knew Richard for years. The next morning Andrea, her brother, sister, a close friend from Fl, one from CA, and I went to breakfast together. All of us dreading the day ahead. When we arrived at the church it was already filling up 1 and 1/2 hours before it was to begin. By the time the services started there was no room left inside the church. Many tears flowed during that service, mine included. Sometimes I found myself crying so hard that I could hear myself. People got up at will and spoke about good times they had with Richard. It was a beautiful service. When the procession started you could tell that this short 5 mile drive to the cemetary was going to take a while. By the time all the cars were in line it was about 2 miles long. When we arrived at the cemetary the honor guards were already in place. From this point I am at a loss of words to explain...there was the folding of the flag, the 21 gun salute, the presenting of the flags to his 22 year old bride of only 6 weeks and his mother and father, and the playing of taps. I can tell you when the first gun shots went off my heart and mind just caved in and I felt so empty. There I was trying to be a stong reasurring face for my friend and I could not fight back the tears.
After the services came to an end the family was asked to come back to the life center for a lunch. I was so honored when I was asked to join the famiy for this. We sat at the table trying to put the pieces back together, trying to be there for each and every person in that family. That evening we went back out to the house. No one really knowing what to do at this point. All the planning of the last few days had taken its course and there was nothing left to plan. I tried to help out cleaning up from all the food that had been delivered thru-out the week. Finding places in the fridge and rearranging things, but really I was just trying to find a way to take my mind off the hurt and pain that this family must be feeling.
My flight out of Atlanta was at 6am the next morning and I decided to drive into Atlanta around 1 am so that I would be there early. I arrived at my gate about 4am and boarded around 5:30 am. I sat down in the seat and before we had even taken off I was asleep. The next thing I remember was the announcement that we had landed in DFW.
I was glad I could have been there for my friend at her time of need. She wanted me to let you all know that she has been reading everything here and will be responding to each and everyone of you when she returns home. I want to thank each and everyone of you for reaching out to her and also being there for her in your own ways. God bless you all and god bless navy for moms.
C

[Mary, Proud Mom of Nick]

C-I know it was not easy for you to write this but we appreciate you sharing and more importantly being their for Andrea and Richard's family. I couldn't even read thru your post without tears, I can only imagine all the tears that flowed on Saturday. It is good that Andrea has such a good friend in you.

[Steve's Mom]

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[Joslinda]

Thank you for this post.. for keeping us informed on how Andrea is doing.. I could see what you were saying as if it were a movie. Hearing the taps, 21 gun salute, and the flag folding is something I will never forget.. its a sound and site that stays with you forever. I heart goes out to the Family and Mrs Richard Harper (widow) in her time of loss

[LynnDear]

Thank you for sharing with such compassion and dignity. How hard to put those feelings into words, but you made a very noble attempt. What a wonderful man Richard must have been. He will be missed.

[Navy for Moms Admins]

This gave me goose bumps. I think talking about grief is hard... so thank you for taking the time and sharing with us. Also, thank you for being there for Richard's Family. You are a wonderful person- Sincerely, Catherine

[Karen Gallagher]

thanks for sharing that with all of us again no words can express our sadness

[carols_kitchen]

God put you there to be with Andrea for a reason--as we have all cried reading your post we all know why.
Everyone who was touched by Richard will remain in our prayers.

[Cathyp]

You are a true friend and I'm sure Andrea was so happy to have you with her. I tried to read this earlier but I couldn't. My heart is so broken for Andrea I can't stand it. Thanks C cathyp

[Jacqueline Manning]

Thanks so much for sharing this with us all. I know it was hard for you to write, but you did a wonderful job.

[Jeanine #762]

When we think words will fail us, we just put our trust and faith in God and our fellow man that what we say will give words of encouragement and support for the family of the loved one that is gone. You certainly achieved that mark not only for us, but also yourself and his family. Just think of the wonderful sailor that is now in heaven to protect all his shipmates and we all know this world is a better place for his being here for albeit such a short time.