Another New Chapter...

[Sheila Clark]

Well, it's offiicial....he's in Hawaii. Yea for him....and I mean that....only the moms here know how much I really am happy for him. He called about an hour ago to let me know he was safe, and he sounds so marvelous! I had the timing pegged just right. He had a 10 minute lay over in Los Angeles, and arrived in Hawaii at 10 p.m. their time (3 am our time)...it was just after noon in Hawaii when he called me (just after five here), and he said it is "so beautiful and 80 degrees" augh......I might be sick....we've barely been out of the 40's this week. His chief met him at the airport and escorted him to the ship. He will be living on the ship for at least the first 90 days (he thought he would be in a barricks, but not so). He also said he is seriously considering not leaving while on holiday stand down, which is a rational, logical and economical decision. I'm proud of him for that, but my heart sunk at his words...somewhere in the back of my mind (back there where rationality, logic and economics are afterthoughts) I was hoping he'd come home for Christmas, if given the opportunity. I had not even let myself go to that "sentimental, gooey, sweet place" where he was just compelled to be here for Christmas, because it's really not the best answer for him, and...my goodness....he just got there, for crying out loud!!! But, I'm guilty as charged: another episode of selfishness to chalk up for me. And, another contrast in opposite emotions incident. One second, I'm celebrating with him on the phone that he is finally going to get to work, and be on a ship, and see the world, and do what sailors do, and for icing on the cake, in a tropical paradise, no less....and then, after he's hung up, I have to bury my head in a pillow and wale because I miss him so, and I don't know how to have Christmas without him. That's definately not rational or logical, but it's the way I feel. He has strict instructions to call as soon as he knows his address, and to take his camera with him everywhere he goes, and send the chip home for us to see. (He doesn't have a computer yet, and we supplied him with several chips for his digital camera when he was home last.)

So, we are, once again, opening a new chapter of experiences~my sailor and I. He is seeing, learning, working and living in a place that's totally new and different....again. And I am seeing, learning, working and living in a totally new place, emotionally....again. This is the first entry in my new chapter: I believe in my sailor and his abilities. He is going to be awesome at his job, and experience a culture for a few years that will become part of his very being, for the remainder of his life. I will be experiencing how to be strong on a whole new level during the next 22 days, for sure. And after Christmas, it will still be a learning experience. I've stood on the truth that physical distance doesn't translate into emotional distance since May 1st, the day he left for boot camp, and I will continue to. I will keep Christmas in my heart because that is the place where my Savior is glorified, and on a family level, I know I will be connected to my son on that day, because he will be doing the same. I will not pretend there will not be tears, because that would really be irrational and illogical, but I will let them come when they must, and know that they are not a negative, just part of the whole Mom/Son, missing him thing. I will fight to keep from feeling sorry for myself, because I am blessed above measure, to have a loving family, who is healthy and safe. I will be intentional about counting my blessings and helping others.

So, there it is, for what it's worth. My manifesto of survival and syrup.....thanks for the chance to let it all out. God keep our sons (whether they are home for Christmas, or not)....please, Amen.

[Anti M]

Mele Kalikimaka!

That's Merry Christmas in Hawaiian ... May-Lay Kaw-leekee-mawkaw.

May your heart be full even if your arms are not.

[Sheila Clark]

Thanks, same to you!

[Sues]

Congrats and good luck to both of you.

AntiM ~ that's beautiful.