Bootcamp Blues

[A'sMom]

My son just left for basic a week ago yesterday, and I know I am just beginning this long journey, but I am missing him terribly and am a teary eyed mess! Is this normal? Or am I just a big marshmallow puff of emotions? Oh i hope it isn't the big "change"! Lol

[Chipmunk]

 AHNukeMom-it may feel like "the change" but you are just experiencing the emotional roller coaster of Navy Mom / Wive's life. All of us have gone through varying degrees of emotional ups and downs while our recruits were at boot camp. The hardest thing is not being able to communicate with them, but it is our training time as much as it is theirs. It is okay to cry or not cry.

Some words of encouragement - write to your recruit every day. For me that meant I emailed my son. No, he wasn't going to receive the email, but every time I was emailing him, I had his profile picture pop up on my computer and I could see his smiling face at me, and I knew he was doing what we had discussed and I knew that life was harder for him at that very moment than it was for me, no matter how much I missed him. I emailed him almost daily for the first week and then because I have four other children and a busy schedule, it got less and less so that I had to almost force myself to write to him, once I started getting his letters and phone calls. (Mind you the week before his PIR I was preparing for our 2nd wedding of the summer!) I just wrote him about what all was going on with the family and things that we had been doing. I did my best to not tell him how much I missed him. - There has been recent chatter about recruits being separated for "homesickness", and I know that my son said he was asked a lot if he was homesick. (Now I know why.) They are trying to weed out and find those who are easily distracted and can't focus.

You will want to be strong for him when he does write or call you. Once I received the "form letter" telling me his address and PIR / graduation date, I copied all of my emails, dated them and pasted them to a Word document that I could then print and mail him. Mind you, they have a very limited space to store letters. And I sent him about two weeks worth of letters. It was still at least another week or so after that form letter before I received my first hand written letter. My son's duties were such that he only had time to write about 10 - 20 min on Sunday and they are only allowed to mail their letters on Sun., so mine came every Thursday. Except on week and thankfully I had a call from him that Saturday, saying he had used his time on Sunday to go to sick call for a persistent cough. (Another common ailment among the new recruits.)

Chin up sister and big Navy hugs!! You are in good hands here and as I have seen posted many times here, your son is in the best hands - God's and the Navy. But keep the tissues close by if you need them. - Also, once I had his address, I shared it  with our community of friends who also wrote him and encouraged him. He really appreciated all of those letters and cards.

Be sure to join our Nuke Mom's group - I see B'sNuke Mom (I think) posted the link for you on your profile page under comments. - There is information there you can read and get an idea of what your son's A school, power school and Prototype will be like.

Also, I would encourage you to join Boot Camp Mom's group - http://navyformoms.ning.com/group/bootcampmoms  -  being part of a group is very beneficial because you will start seeing people who are going through similar situations as you and you can easily find links to helpful information. Lemonelephant - moderates that group and once you request to be a part of the group it may take a day or so for her to respond but she will add you and then you can make comments directly there which are more likely to get a response sooner. Especially if Phoenixmom is online.

Maybe by the time I am done writing this and get it posted you will have another response, but I noticed 18 views and no posts. It isn't like that as much in a group. 

If you don't have a project to keep you occupied, work, or a hobby, I suggest you find something to do even if it is planning your trip for PIR (just don't book till you have a date.) It will help the time pass by quicker for you.

Chipmunk 

[momto9898]

AHNukeMom -

I can so relate!! .. I too think, is this the start of "the CHANGE"?

My son has not even left and there are times when I am a mess!! Just reading the things to do and discuss 30 days prior to BC- I was in tears. I am go thankful for this group and for the site. So much great information!

Thank you to Chipmunk for your thoughtful and encouraging response.

Love and Hugs to all

Calebsmom9898

[A'sMom]

Thank you so much Chipmunk, you've given me some great information and even greater support just when I need it most. What you said about how life is harder for him at this moment than it is for me really hit me hard. Thank you for that. Those words really gave me what I needed to remember I am a Navy Mom now. And although it is ok for me too cry and miss him, I have to be strong for him.
Calebsmom, thank you for the show of support. Our kids are in this together and so are we!

[Chipmunk]

 AHNukeMom - I am glad that my words spoke to you and were an encouragement. Sometimes it is just a matter of timing. I noticed your post and was online and  able to respond to you, hopefully fairly quickly. Honestly, I only echoed some words that my mother  spoke to me about 24 years ago when I had an 18 month old and my husband was gone for the summer, working on his Master's degree research. I was working and Mom watched my daughter. It was before cell phones and even emailing was difficult. His lodging was temporary so mailing a letter wasn't all that convenient either. I would mope and miss him and my mother reminded me that I needed to be strong, because he was gone away from family, and his baby girl, but I was with my loved ones. There were other times when he had to be away from us as well, and while it was always hard, I remembered my mother's words. I have four of five children out of the house and every day I think about them, but I still am more concerned about what is going on with my son, just because. B'sNukeMom.... posts a note that reminds us that even though it doesn't get easier, we do get stronger.

Day by day, you will get stronger, and by the time you have PIR, you will be encouraging other moms who are getting ready to send their sons or daughters off to boot camp. In the meantime, take each day as a gift from God, do something for your son, something for your family, something for others, and something for yourself, and then lay your head to rest, because the sun will rise and you will be one day closer to PIR!!

Shalom

[Chipmunk]

Calebsmom9898 - I will be honest, I haven't read the 30 days before boot camp posting. I did not find this site until a few days before my son's PIR (8/25/17). I was too busy getting ready for a wedding, my son's graduation, a leadership camp that my husband and both sons attend, and then trying to help my two daughter's move to be ready to turn in the keys to  their apartment, on the day my son left for boot camp - also his father's birthday. I didn't have time to figure out what we didn't get done, we just did what we knew was important.

Thankfully, my son did a lot of preparation but I would say the most important advice I could give is enjoy your last days at home, fix home cooked meals, give him some space to be on the computer and be with his friends, read books or play some video games - to an extent.

As far as business, encourage him to clean and organize his room. Make sure he knows how to do his laundry, and buy some Tide to go pens or other things that can help get shoe polish and grease out of dress whites (and if that doesn't happen, he will figure it out from others around him. ) - And he will be wearing dress blues most likely to start out with.

But I would for sure get a calling card - look at CVS or Walgreens - and have your son figure out how to activate it and use it.

Finally, I would make sure he has his Navy Federal Credit Union account set up and with you or your husband as a joint owner on the account. If he has another account he is going to use then make sure of the same things on that as well. The NFCU will give your son the paper work that he needs to take with him to boot camp for his direct deposit. Once he leaves or two days before you can go into the credit union or he can and let them know he is going active duty. They will switch his account to active status and he will get his direct deposits a day earlier.

Give each other space to deal with the change that is coming, but also give lots of hugs, if he is a hugger.

Plan some sort of going away, whether at your place of worship, or among his friends and family. It doesn't have to be fancy, but the more they are aware of what he is doing the more they will support you and you can have them support your son with cards and emails when he is gone.

[Phoenixmom]

Good Morning Ladies, welcome to the site, it is so good to have you all. Chipmunk gave a lot of info and what she is saying is so true. you will find  lot of information on different sites and you have a whole group of Wonderful Ladies that can and will relate to your every emotional state and concerns. I myself was a mess when my son first left and it started the day he swore in which was right after High school July 5th 2017. He graduated Sept. 1st and is in A school in great Lakes. I still get emotional, the loneliness and the empty nest syndrome. My son was the Baby 18 yrs. and we were inseparable. It's amazing how they come out of BC so grown young Men/Woman. its like they are beginning a whole new Life. Please come and join these groups and you will find info on the first few weeks of how and what they are doing.

What will the first day be like at BC?

See Arrival and What Happens at the RTC and Ship/Division--How it Works.

How long is the "I'm here!" call and when will s/he be able to call again?

See Phone Cards and Phone Calls. And boot camp moms(loved ones). If there is anything that I can help answer please let me know. Again welcome!

 

and also the empty nest syndrome

[Phoenixmom]

Ladies here is also a good site

Survival Guide for Navy For Moms Newbies