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I feel like I am complaining constantly

Yesterday was my birthday. I missed my boy so much it was the first time since he was born we spent a birthday apart. I did not feel to wake up but I did and I did try my best to hold it together I kept crying everytime I was alone which really did not help the mood of my dinner party. Everyone kept saying how lucky I was to have great sons and I must be so happy that he is out of the house. Don’t people understand that I did everything for my sons and do they not understand that my boys are not a job they are part of my home. I look at his vacant room and wonder when he’ll be back. I try my best to do other things to distract my self but then you’ll bump into someone who would ask about him and give you that sad look of poor thing which does not add to this process I am going through. I feel like I am useless that my son no long needs me. What do I do with myself? I know I need to pick myself up and move on but it is difficult. What do you all think?

Thank You for letting me vent

Views: 144

Comment by anasazigypsy on October 23, 2017 at 7:16pm
Mine has been gone 3 years and one month approximately. Sometimes it still hits hard. Saturday will be his 3rd birthday I won't spend with him.
It's okay to feel whatever way you feel. I keep reminding myself I wouldn't want him to be one of those 35 year old guys living home playing video games all day long,lol
Comment by AlKiZaer on October 23, 2017 at 9:15pm
Your post speaks directly to my heart and soul. You put my feelings into words. Thank you for sharing! My Recruit left September 12th. He had a birthday while in Basic Training. It was a horrible day. My husband and other Sons tried to make it a normal day but it wasn't normal. My Son was the life of our house. He loved nothing more than to be celebrated. When he left he asked me to throw a big party for his birthday, like normal. But it wasn't normal! We had his favorite meal while i cried. I keep the door to his room shut. I will have to face it for Thanksgiving as one of my Sons will be home from college for a few days. I have other Sons but I do not have another one of him. I am so very proud of his decision and he is thriving in the Navy. Just like you, my boys are my life. I always knew they would grow up and not live with me but I was in no hurry for it to happen. My 26 year old stops by to say hello and give me a hug almost every day. My 19 year old in college can check in any time he wants and is only 5 hours away. I have a 16 year old at home and he is very busy with football. I have a 19 year old who joined the Navy unexpectedly. In a way I feel like I am mourning the loss of a child. In a way we have lost parts of our children, of our "normal" every day life. I am trying to be very positive for myself and my Son. I will do my best to create new traditions that include him in whatever he can participate. He signed an eight year contract so I have to create a new "normal". I do my best to get out of bed and get dressed every day. I am exploring hobbies to occupy my time. So far I haven't found what works for me but I will continue my search. Always let yourself feel your feelings. This group has been so helpful to me. (PIR November 9, 2017 Ship 06/Division 004)
Comment by Lisa on October 23, 2017 at 9:55pm
I thank you for your input I understand exactly how you feel and I sometimes can’t put these feelings into words. I only have two sons one is 24 and my baby is 22 his birthday was in September and he said mom I’ll be home soon so don’t come for his birthday day and I felt like I was missing out and I could not seem to get it together and now I always do a big Thanks Giving and I just want to forget about it until I see my boy again. My husband said well what about when he has a girl what are you going to do. I am like all mothers I just want them to be happy. But where is the manual on what to do when you’re so attached to your kids and they are out on there own? When will the worrying stop and how do you get to that happy place again?
Comment by RJNavyMom on October 24, 2017 at 1:18pm

Hang in  there Ladies, I must say it does get a little better as time goes by. I just went through what you guys are experiencing and it was very hard to adjust to my Son being away but I was so proud of him for making the decision to the Navy.  But he graduated and is now in "A" school. Jus know that this is temporary, the time will come when you will get to see them and talk to them on a regular basis again. Be strong and best wishes to you all.

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