Ways Of Communicating During Bootcamp?? And sea/shore rotation??

[Gottaluvmysailor]

Hi ladies my soon to be sailor will be shipping out this summer and I am trying not to freak out about it. We have a baby girl who will be 1 year when he ships out. But anyway what are some good ways to communicate with him while he is in basic training and A school? Also being that we have a little one do you ladies think it would be a good idea to move with him to A school if it is more than 30 days? Also for the sea to shore rotation... Do they serve the full 36 or 54 at sea and then 36 months on shore straight? Clarification is greatly appreciated

[meagan5220]

well during Basic your only options really are letters and phone calls when he can get them. Typically they say there are 3 standard phone calls. the short 15 sec "I am here", I think one about 3 weeks in "still alive" phone call and then after battlestations "Im a sailor" call. Which is like the week of graduation. Sometimes their division or individuals will earn phone calls but its not something to count on. In A school its up to you and your sailor. My husband called me every morning before PT and then most days on his lunch break and then before he went to bed. We text throughout the day when he could too.

 

As far as moving it really depends on what his a school is and where? Whats his MOS? closer to time you can find out what the current hold times are and whatnot. My husband was only in A school for about 2 months. I wasnt going to pay to move down there and try to find a place to live and leave my two jobs. While its doable its expensive if the military isnt paying for it. It will depend on your particular situation if it will be good for your family, and if its going to be financially possible.

 

One tip for communication I have learned. NEVER judge your communication style, amount, technique, anything to anyone else's you will drive yourself crazy! My husband is deployed and there are girls that do that. Well your husband called you wahhh. Then when their husband calls they spend the whole ten minute phone call B****ing about just now getting a phone call. We never know the reasons that one sailor might get to call and another cant. There are watches, duty, working double shifts, get sick, cover for someone who is sick. So its best to just set up your own guidelines and expectations based on what works for you as well. :)

[Avaya0805 (Ship 9/ Division 201)]

Hi Gottaluvmysailor.  I am in a similar situation. My son is 16 months old.  My husband leaves for boot camp soon. From everything that I have read this far, it is not a good idea to move your baby until you have to. Even though they cannot communicate with us, they can still feel the stress and everything that comes with this type of life change. Also, your sailor will not get much freedom at A school right away. When they do, they need to spend that time focusing on studying and learning about their job with the Navy, in order to prepare well. In my opinion it would be best to stay where you are and stay in a routine until after A school is over. This would benifit your child and your sailor. You've gotta stay strong for your baby girl and your man :) Even though your sailor wants to be with you and see you,  you are kinda of looking out for him by not giving him extra distractions from learning. (I hope that comes across nicely. I don't mean this a mean way at all).  Your husband should be able to use his cell phone while at A school. You can talk and Skype :)   Also, the only way to communicate durring boot camp is thru letters. Write as often as you can it's VERY important and will help keep his spirits up.

[nightingale cvn72]

meagan5220 covered just about everything. My husband is in RTC right now, graduating on the 30th (yay!) Every woman I have talked to on here has said that RTC is the worst, the lack of communication can really get to you. The second phone call I recieved from my husband, he complained that he doesn't get letters everyday even though I was sending them everyday. So I would send pictures wrapped in paper for him to open on the days that he didn't get any mail, and each picture had a short note on the back. He loves it! As far as moving you should find out how long he is there. I'm moving with my sailor, but that is only because I have no ties where I'm currently living. With a baby it may be harder. And the Navy doesnt (to my knowledge) move dependents for Aschool. Letters are the main thing for RTC, its what keeps the men going. Even the silly things like sending jokes, poems, and lyrics. Remember to stay strong, you'll be your sailors anchor when things get hard :) hope this helped.

[Anti M]

If the A school is longer than  six months (roughly), you will be eligible for a paid move,  Shorter school, out of your own pocket,  Plus, the sailor must earn their liberty phases and request permission to live offbase with you; a shorter school may say no.  A very short school will almost certainly say no.   Without that permission, they must live in the barracks and they will have a curfew.  Best thing to do is learn what rate they will be, find the group for it, and ask the wives there what their experience has been specific to that A school.  

If you do move near the A school on your own dime, be aware that when the orders come in and you get to be moved to the new duty station, that anything you left behind "at home" won't be moved too.  Just you and the stuff in your location.   Long range planning is required.

[Tiffany51908]

hello Gottaluvmysailor! My sailor left for RTC in December, graduated in February and is currently finishing A school (whoop whoop!!) So i'm very familiar with this situation. Get ready for boot camp girl because it is no picnic. I've been with my sailor for four years and have two brothers in the military and i still was not prepared. I sent my sailor a letter every single day.It Is SO important for you to show him your thinking of him and supporting him. I got the 15 second phone call the night he got there. I got the second phone call a MONTH into boot camp. Be prepared for minimal communication. Just write as much as you can. When you see him graduate all the wait will be worth it! As for A school, those range from a few weeks to two or three years depending on his rate. My sailor is a LS so his A school is roughly two months, in which case i stayed where i was because it is WAY to expensive to move around. We don't have children which i know would make the moving around even more difficult. Like anti M said, the navy will move you once, so whatever you have there at A school is all they will move. If its just a few months, its better just to be patient and wait for his first duty station. The communication is awesome during a school. You will get to talk everyday. He will have to muster, go to class, have watch, among other activities so he will be busy, but you can talk at night and most weekend days. His crazy schedule during A school is also a good reason not to move. You want to support him but you don't want to be a distraction. Everything will work out just stay strong!! And there are plenty of people on this site that will help you out! I recommend you look for his ship and division group on here when he leaves. You'll get to meet other girls that have sailors in his division. Hope this helped! 

[Gottaluvmysailor]

Thank you ladies so much your responses really have helped so far and helped me put things into perspective.

[meagan5220]

I didnt see the part asking about sea/shore rotation. Each rate has a different rotation schedule you can google his rate and it should come up. They do serve their sea duty straight and then their shore duty (most of the times sea duty is first then shore. but it has happened the reverse.)

[Gottaluvmysailor]

Sorry i added it after i posted the discussion. So he would for example do 36 months at sea straight and i wouldnt see him the whole time??

[meagan5220]

its ok :). oh no. You would see him as long as he didnt get orders unaccompanied overseas. Even at that he would get leave time. But when they are on sea duty there are times they are at home. Depending on his MOS and what type of command he is assigned to will depend on what his deployment schedule is. I have a friend and her husband is subs and their deployments last about 3 months. and they are closer together then some other ships (not always the case) My husband is on a carrier. He is right now on an 8 month deployment approximately... may get extended. but the longest deployment for a ship is 10 months I think. So for example, my husbands ship got home from deployment last spring, in the 8 months between that deployment and this one they were gone about 3 months on underways. Do you know what his job is going to be? That would make it a little bit easier to help ya out.

[Gottaluvmysailor]

Ooo ok that makes much more sense. He hasn't chosen yet but he has really shown an interest in the aviation community. Like ABH or ABE

[meagan5220]

:) ok you can look at their sea/shore rotation online and that will give you a better idea but I know a lot of rates just got their sea time lengthened. My husbands went up by a year so its like 5 years sea for 3 years shore now I think. I think for more Aviation rates that I know of its 5/3 as well. Some are different but thats the ones I have looked at. My husband is an AM. If he continues with aviation he will most likely be attached to a squadron or a carrier My husband is attached to a carrier. Sqaudrons are assigned to a carrier but their aviation people work on the actual planes. My husband works on parts from the planes like if they take them off or he builds new parts to replace anything that breaks. If he were attached to the squadron (group of airplanes basically) he would work on the airplane itself or attach the parts to the plane. I hope that makes sense. I know you didnt really ask about that difference lol  but it might come in handy

[Gottaluvmysailor]

nooo that really helps because he was also considering being an AM. I will definately share this with him because at the moment it is just us and about.com lol. I do have a more relationship based question. We have decided to have a courthouse wedding on the 30th of this month and we have been engaged for a year now and together for 5 total. His recruiter from day one has been trying to convince us not to get married until after his basic. From what I understand that complicates things when he gets his duty station or if his rate has a longer A school and we are eligible to move with him. His recruiter is insisting that waiting to get married is easier. We have already made our decision anyway but I was still wondering why she suggested that. To be honest it offended me. (I didnt let that show but the truth is it got under my skin.)