Boyfriend left 6/25/12...need some support!!

[dukelvr]

Okay, so I'm brand new to this site and let me just say, it's comforting to know that others are going through the same thing I am. However, the pain is still here and I can't seem to escape from it. I've dated my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and we did have a break in that time frame. During that time is when he decided to sign up for the navy. Lets just say, I was devastated. I always told myself I wouldn't date someone in the military, now look at me. So like I said, he left on Monday the 25th, today is Saturday the 30th, and all I seem to know how to do is cry. He called me at 12:45 EST (so technically early, early Tuesday morning). It was a minute phone call and he said he would call me in 2 weeks, I hope that's true. I've already written him a letter, even sent him FB messages even though he wont get it for 8 weeks. I just feel horribly alone right now, and my biggest fear is that we are going to grow apart and he wont want me anymore. Thinking that upsets me more and brings on a waterfall of tears. These 2 weeks are going to be hard, since we can't have any calls or letters. I just wanted to hear other stories and if there is any advice y'all can give me. I'm trying to stay busy, but it doesn't seem to help. It seems like I think of him every minute of the day, and I just can't get him out of my head. I'm worried, scared, and I just want that feeling to end. I'm already picturing when he calls me and I feel like all I'll be able to do is cry because I've missed his voice so bad. But anyway, sorry for the rant. I just feel like I could meet others that understand what I'm going through. Anything will help!!!

[amor]

Ohhhh he's in the reserves?? Different, I don't know about that then, sorry, I just know the minimum for active duty is four years. Sorry for my confusion!

[dukelvr]

Well, I know he was thinking about going active..but I really didn't want him too. But I mean, he's going to do what he's going to do. So do they put the reserves and the active people together in boot camp?? I figured it would be a separate thing or something.

[dukelvr]

Well I don't think the cologne he gave me is going to last the whole time he's gone! I'm trying not to use it so it will last lol. But I'm just waiting..and waiting to hear something. I'm so curious what he is up to and everything, I hate not knowing anything that is going on. I've written him a couple letters so far, but I'm not sure of the address. I'm trying to think of something special to do, but I really have no idea. I know you can't send them a lot of stuff, and I don't want him getting in trouble. All I know of to send him are pictures.

[sea_sick]

You are very welcome. We are here for each other. I know that I would have lost my mind without this site, and that may still happen once he deploys soon. My sailor doesn't wear cologne, but he left one of his shirts at my apartment when he visited last month and you better believe I fell asleep clutching to that thing all of the time! I already told him that I get another one once I see him again. It's not corny, it's comforting. It brings peace and assurance. But it can also make you sadder. And you will never know how strong you can be until you risk losing the person you want to grow old with. That's when you know that you will do whatever it takes to hold it together. And you learn how strong you have to be in order to support someone who is as strong as our men are. It's a difficult life. It can be hellish. But those seconds of being in their arms or a 20 second phone call saying "I love you but I am dead on my feet and can't talk. I miss you." those letters in the mail where seeing his handwriting on the envelope makes your heart almost explode. Those things make it worth it. 

[dukelvr]

Well, I haven't received a phone call yet. All I have gotten was one saying he made it safely and it was only about a minute long. How long do the phone calls usually last? And how many do you usually receive while they are in basic? I'm still waiting on an address...it's been a week now since he has been gone. Well, he landed in GL like at 10:00 PM last Monday. So I'm not sure if they consider that Monday or Tuesday his first day.

[amor]

My boyfriend got a total of four including the "I'm a Sailor" call, but there are only two to three DEFINITE calls---the "I got here safe" 30-second call you already received, and the "I'm a Sailor" call when they pass Battlestations. The in-between call I received, which your boyfriend told you you would get in two weeks (but which will probably take longer unless his division does exceptionally well) is dependent upon the RDC's and how well the division does. Sometimes the ability to make that call is revoked if they don't do well. My boyfriend was lucky enough to be placed in a really great division and they did really well, so they got surprised with ANOTHER bonus call about two weeks before Battlestations, so in total he got four calls, the "I'm here", the "Midway" call, a bonus call, and the "I'm a Sailor" call---however, once they pass Battlestations, they are officially sailors and their last week is pretty relaxed. They are allowed to go to "Recruit Heaven" almost every day if they have time---which has computers, phones, a store, a Taco Bell, etc. So my boyfriend even got to go on Facebook this past Saturday, and I got to talk to him on the phone two days in a row! Friday when he passed BS, then Saturday while he was at "Recruit Heaven". He said he would probably get to call today but I don't think they were able to get down there today. I'm so close at this point that I don't even mind. Haha! Three days! Don't worry! I was in your place two months ago---the time doesn't fly by while you're going through it, but one day you'll wake up and be almost there! :)

[dukelvr]

Well, he better be doing really well! Lol, or in a great division. So your boyfriend is graduating this Friday? That's awesome! I never heard about the "Recruit Heaven" thing. Is that on base or something? You seem to know a lot about all of this. Do you have a FB or something? I think it would be easier to talk up there and such. I don't think I can write my name up here though..we need to figure something out.

[kage39]

I totally understand what u guys mean, me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years and the kost we ever spent away from each oher was like a week. But dukelvr- i dot let myaelf think of the last few days he was home for that reason, it makes me cry so instead i think of like random funny times with him and whats gonna happen when i see him. And iwhy not just go over to his house and take some more of his old shirts? Haha thats what i plan to do.

[dukelvr]

It's hard not to think of our last couple days together though because those were the most recent. It just hurts so much still :(  And all his clothes are at his mom's house, like 2 hours away. I just keep sleeping with his pillow and comforter, I think that helps a little bit. I'm still just waiting to find out some sort of information.

[dukelvr]

Okay ladies, let me just go on and say I think I have been crying for like an hour now? So my boyfriends mom just messaged me back on FB, giving me his address (which I was thrilled about!) However, she said she wouldn't be able to go because one of her sons starting college that week, which sucked..but I was still going to try and make it to his graduation. Well along with the address she sent me, also came the graduation date. She told me his PIR will be August 17th, but I figured it would be August 24th since he just left June 25th. At first I was ecstatic, thinking "Wow, a week closer than I though!" But now I realized that is the day I first start school. And not just a typical first day, after working my butt off for 2 years in college I finally got accepted into my medical program. So should I risk missing his graduation for school? Or should I risk my first day into my medical program (and I would actually be missing two days, that Thursday and Friday), to go to his graduation? I'm so upset right now and I feel very alone. Even if I go to his graduation, I'm going to be going by myself which I don't feel comfortable doing. I've never flown before, and I've never even been out of state by myself. I'm really confused on what to do, and what upsets me more than anything that if I don't go, he wont have anybody there for him. Any advice/help I would appreciate. I'm just so lost right now.

[kage39]

Dukelvr- that is possibly the most suckish thing ive ever heard. What about his dad? Or friends? Somebody neeeds to be there, but thats just my opinion. And as far as u going. .... Well most schoola totally understand if heres military personell involved if u just tell them why youre not gonna be there, i just dont know what your course work would be like that youd be missing. Seriously ive never hear of a school saying too bad, either you cant see him if u want a good grade. As far as flying? Its really not a bad deal. Depends on the airline and if u brring something to entertain urself. Its really not that scary or anythig in my opinion i think its kinda fun actually. But as far as going alone? Like i said earlier what about his dad or freinds or something? Or if he has other siblings.

[Anti M]

Some college programs have a mandatory drop if students miss the first day. (I know this because I attend a week-long event which starts the same week as many schools, and it gets discussed often).   You need to know it this applies to you, call the school now to find out.  However, you can go to the instructors and talk this over with them, explain your special circumstances and see if an excused absence and make up work is possible.  You won't know until you ask.

Your sailor would completely understand if you need to start your program, boot camp will have taught him how important fulfilling your obligations over personal pleasure can be.  He may be disappointed, but he will also be proud.  As for no one being there, it happens to a lot of the sailors for many reasons.   They band together with their shipmates who are flying solo and enjoy the rime off as a group.  Honest!  Will he be going to A school in Great Lakes?  If not, you'd not have much time with him, as precious as a few hours may be, your schooling is a lot to give up for a short reunion, no matter how sweet.  Be sure someone orders a copy of the DVD for you.

You can travel by yourself, you'll be nervous and scared, but you can do it (if you can go).   If not, you can save the money for a visit during A school.  

Best of luck, post bout what happens so others can benefit from your experience.