Requesting leave for wedding

[sandy Ship3 Div 17]

My son will be finishing special training in San Diego May 27th and going to Little Creek in VA.  My concern is - his brother is getting married June 11th and he is not sure if he will be allowed to come home. He knows he has to contact his sponsor in Little Creek, but has not heard back.he has emailed the sponsor twice.   He feels that he only there for two weeks before he needs to come home and no idea if he would be allowed too. Does anyone have any advice or experience with requesting leave.  Wedding is two months away and I am getting nervous.

[Anti M]

When is his report date?  Normally, after a C school (special training????), the orders indicate a report date, which would include authorized travel days, plus any leave if requested by the service member.  He needs to get on the phone and see if he can get some leave authorized in conjunction with his orders.  Not to his impending command, but to BUPERS who issued the orders (gah, I can't recall who I called to "fix" my orders).  Someone at his school or PSD can direct him to who he needs to contact specifically.  Does he have earned leave days on the books?  If he does, he should be able to take them BEFORE he checks into his new command. 

He has to be checked into his new command to request leave.  Asking his sponsor isn't getting an answer because his sponsor likely isn't someone who can make that decision.  Usually, when checking into a new command, the new guy has to get up to speed, fast, because the command is expecting him to jump in and start working.  Requesting leave right away?  Not happening.  You usually put in your leave requests a month~two weeks before you want to take it.  

 

Sorry, but from my experience, he won't make the wedding if he doesn't straighten this out before he checks in.  

[judy r]

Anti m is right as usual son had similar situation leave was denied..We gave him pics was all we could do..Sorry cant say it will be a happy ending for you on this one.

[Anti M]

There's always Skype.

[Mary-Ryan's Mom]

The same thing happened to my son--it was my daughter's wedding & he had been in San Diego only 2 wks.  They did not let him know he could come home till the Thurs. before the wedding.  He basically had 24 hours leave.  But he made it--just takes some determination.  The flight cost was outrageous--but it wouldn't have been the same without him.  Good luck!

[sandy Ship3 Div 17]

Thanks for the help - he will be attending C-school in San Diego (sorry I am learning and did not know it was C-school)  He has not left Great Lakes yet for C-school.  Tonite he says the sponsor is to email him on Friday.  I have given him your advice to talk to BUPERS.  I am praying.   Thanks again.

[Angie]

I highly doubt he will be allowed to take leave right after checking into the command.  He doesn't "need to" he wants to, big difference.

 

Would recommend the brother have someone else in standby as odds are againts this.

 

[Anti M]

Right now it sounds like his orders may be verbal? Yes? No?   He may have a leave period authorized before he reports.  THAT is what he needs to determine.

[Mary-Ryan's Mom]

My son tried getting the leave authorized before he got to CA--just never happened & no one was willing to help.  Don't give up hope...Ryan just made a pest of himself & they finally let him go for that short leave.  We did have a stand-in for him--but thank God we didn't have to use him!

[ChrisAmo]

I know it's hard but when they join the Navy they need to get used to the idea that things usually don't work out the way they'd like. My son has missed the last 2 of his wife's birthdays and will miss Xmas (AGAIN!) this year. He didn't know until 2 days ahead of time that he would get approved for leave to get married (they eloped so we didn't have to worry about too many wedding plans). I know all this doesn't help your situation but it does illustrate the fact that Mother Navy comes first and everyone has to get used to it. Sorry.

[Fur&FeathersDVM]

I 100% agree with ChrisAmo- it is very hard but I try to look at it as instead of being disappointed when my husband misses things, I look at it as a privilege that he is there when he makes it. There are no guarantees in any life- civilian or military- and we should never take anything for granted or waste time being sad. I've never been with my husband for any of his birthdays in 3 years, and the same goes for him with mine. We've never had a Valentine's day together, have had 1/3 Thanksgivings together, etc. We just missed his sister's wedding because he was in a school for it. Was it sad, yes, but we were just glad that he was somewhere on land where he could call his sister and wish her happiness on her wedding day because for many of the holidays or birthdays he's missed, he's not been in a situation where he could call. We didn't know whether he would make it or not until about a week and a half before the wedding.  I feel extremely grateful that my husband was able to not only take leave for our wedding that we planned over a year ahead of time but also was able to take leave for a honeymoon right after and spend our first married Christmas together. We had to make sure we had deployment insurance on the whole wedding though, and the honeymoon- ie everyone we worked with was willing to reschedule if something would come up- because even though his command verbally authorized the leave, he didn't have written authorization until about two weeks beforehand (and you'll find that verbal doesn't really count for much). The navy always has to come first in your son's life now- I know that is something my MIL struggles with even though my husband has always wanted to be in the navy his entire life- and of course I struggle with it too. Just remember that whether or not your son can be there physically, and that even though the navy will always have to be #1 physically, it doesn't mean that you and the rest of your family are not #1 in his heart. I hope that it will work out for you but always be prepared in case it does not! As my navy wife friends and I always say- "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best!"