So many questions!

[Lauradomenica (Ship 02 Div 915)]

Hi everyone! My name is Laura and I am engaged to my fiance who leaves for boot camp in January. After he graduates boot camp he will be going to Charleston for A School in the Nuke program. We are planning on getting married before he leaves for boot camp but we've had multiple recruiters tell us different things about getting married. Some say we should wait till he's done boot camp because if we do it before he leaves, it could hurt his chances of getting into the Nuke school. It doesn't make much sense to me as to why that would keep him from getting into it, but it's enough to make my fiance nervous to want to wait. Other recruiters have told us that it won't effect his chances of getting into the program and that whoever told us that it would, just doesn't want to do the paperwork, so we should get married now if we want to. Has anyone else been in our situation? What should we do? I told him that if he wants to wait because we're so unsure then that's fine, but I would love to be married before he goes.
Either way, we will be married before I get down to Charleston. He will be done boot camp and down in Charleston early next year and I am staying at school in Philadelphia through the spring semester. Once I am done here in May, I am planning on moving to Charleston to be with him. Will they let us live together when I get down there or will he have to stay in the barracks the entire time that he's in school? Also, would they give us on base housing? Even if he can't live with me? These are our biggest issues right now because everyone that we talk to has not given us a solid answer and we would love to have at least some of this figured out before he leaves and then is swamped in school work. Anything will help! Thank you!

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

You're in the right place for answers. :)
I highly suggest the groups "Loved ones in the Nuke program!" and "Nuke Moms" :)
I'm not married, just a girlfriend. Aaron graduated boot in March '10 and A school September '10. He's about a month into Power School now.
I think I know the answer to your questions. :)

1. If you are both completely sure you want to get married, then I would do it now. I've NEVER heard of it affecting the sailor's status into the Nuke program. However, I have heard of the recruiters not wanting to do the paperwork! It's much easier (in most ways) to be married before he goes in. A. You'll be enrolled in DEERS and the health care, you'll be put on his page 2 right away, and you'll get BAH (Basic Housing Allowance) while he's in Boot camp. Plus, you can get your military ID. And about a week after he gets down to Charleston, you'll be able to move down with him... Or whenever your ready to move. :)
2. Yes, you will get to live together, and you will get on base housing. He'll stay in the barracks until he gets the housing situation straightened out (they'll help him do that the first week he's in Charleston), and then will have the opportunity to help get you both moved down there. You can live on base, and I've heard (and seen) that base housing in Charleston (technically Goose Creek) is much nicer than most other bases! Plus, it's a lot easier to get into than most other bases. There's practically no wait time, so as soon as you want to move in with him, you can. :)

There's ladies everywhere here with answers.
Also, check out the Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=128830337127944
A lot of us are on both places, but everyone tends to check Facebook more. :)

[Lauradomenica (Ship 02 Div 915)]

That's what I thought! Everything he told me that they had told him just didn't make sense. I just sent an email to someone down in Charleston because I called and no one answered, so hopefully they can give me a definite answer. I don't want him to feel nervous about doing it now if we're unsure. Your answers definitely made me feel better, I just know he won't feel better until he hears it from someone within the Charleston office. What is DEERS? and where would I go to get my military ID? He doesn't know haha. I've also read that there are 2 options for moving, any suggestions?

[Emily-aaronsgirl11]

DEERS. I don't remember exactly what it stands for. But it has to do with getting you in the military system and getting you all the benefits a "dependent" gets. You can get your military ID at any military base (or at least that's my understanding!). If you're married before he goes to boot camp, then he'll send you a letter with all the info you need in it. There'll be a paper signed by him that you can take to the nearest military base to get your ID. :)
There are two options for moving
Option #1. A Navy move. The Navy hires someone to move you. A contracted company will come pack up alllll your stuff, and move it down to your house.
Option #2. A DITY move (Do It Yourself). YOU pack up all your stuff and move it down to your house. The Navy reimburses you for all gas mileage, etc.

Since I've never done a move myself, I don't know all the pros and cons (well, I've heard about it, but I haven't experienced them first hand).
Look around other groups (especially the "Loved Ones in the Nuke Program" one) for DITY vs. Navy move discussions. :)

[Kelli_wife of JP]

My husbands recruiter told us that she wouldn't let him go to boot camp if we got married before he left. She said she would make him wait a year. It was all because she didn't want to do the paperwork. There is a lot of paperwork that they have to fill out once you guys get married and most of them are lazy. I've never heard that it would effect his chance to get into the nuke program though. I also heard that they don't like to give you housing if they don't have to. My husband ended up with a horrible recruiter. She actually never wanted to meet me to answer any of my questions, so i was lost the entire time and cried most the time he was in boot camp because i had no clue what would happen to me and our daughter.we had to keep her a secret because they wouldn't let us get married.

If he's already classed up then he might have to wait until he graduates A school to come get you. They wont let him leave once classed up. My husband has a friend who was either denuked or got put on hold because he got sick and missed three days of class. Which sucks because his power school class graduates at the end of February. My husband is a ET and all his schools are 6 months. And the housing here is nice. We got lucky and got a brand new 4 bedroom 2.5 bathroom house. The Older houses are nice as well. I'm sure you will hear horror stories but i've been in both a non-renovated 4 bedroom house and a renovated 2 bedroom, and the insides are a lot better than what i was thinking they would be.

I've been here for a year on the first of Feb. It's really nice. If you want my honest opinion, I suggest you guys live on base, even if you have to wait a little while for him to finish A school .. If he's a MM then he'll get to come get you sooner since their school is only 3 months for A school. The area the base is around isn't so great. I know a girl who lived off base and ended up having her car broken into on the 2nd night. There are some people who are brave and will live off base to pocket money but i wouldn't do it. Your husband will be in school for long periods of time and you will be alone. But it's all up to you guys..

also do the Dity move.. He will be able to come get you and you guys can drive here together. Also with the Navy move it could take you up to 2 weeks to get your stuff. I've heard of some people having to wait a month to get their things.

[MandaRae88]

Hey Laura,

My husband enlisted back in February and is just this week going to boot camp. His recruiters knew from day one that we were set to be married this year, and it was never a problem. I always went in and spoke to them whenever I had questions, and they actually suggested this site. There is a lot of paperwork when a dep marries, but it's not a long process. we were married in April and all i had to do was take in our marriage certificate, my birth certificate, and my new ss card. Nukes typically have more paperwork anyway, so not a big deal from my experience. Good luck!

[NavyRose]

Hi Laura, 

My name is Rosie. My husband and I were engaged before he decided to enlist in the Navy, but after he was offered a Nuke rating, we decided that if we was going to go we should do what makes sense. So, we got married at the local courthouse with our two best friends as witnesses, and we are planning a wedding with our families for after he is out of A-school. If you know you want to be married, and are SURE about it, then do what makes sense for you as a couple, financially, and emotionally. We did it that way because we were together for a long time before the Navy was even a thought, and we knew we would be married anyway, and we needed the security of being married. Things have changed for us since then, we are living apart at the moment, but we feel secure in the fact that we are together, and husband and wife.

Also, it wasn't that hard to change the status while in DEP, I had to fill out a financial statement with him to make sure that I will be provided for during deployments, etc, and had to make copies of my birth certificate, drivers licence, and social security card, and we had to bring in the marriage certificate.  That was about it... wasn't too much at all!  Good luck with your decision, and everything else! 

Rosie