My daughter is in her 2nd day of boot camp and I'm an emotional ball of crazy. When does the breaking down stop? My husband left back to work for 7 weeks 500 miles away (he works on the oil fields of the northslope). I can't step into her room and when I go by her room in the morning to wake my son for school I lose it. When I got the I'm here call she sounded so strong and I was strong listening to her, I knew it was coming( I did get a I love you out and she was able to give one back). But after that call the blubbering came on full force. Fear, love, pain, stress excitement, and being so very proud only scratches the emotions. I am listening to Be Safe Love Mom and it helps a little.
Hi! by the way first time posting.
I agree with Cheryl S it does get easier, but it still hurts and let that be ok. Its ok to grieve when they leave and honor their growth at the same time. If your heart hurts and you can, let it. Cry, ugly cry, pray, curl up in pajamas, binge watch something, workout, stand in the closet and breathe. You aren't crazy. You are a mom that misses her kid. They are our children. Husbands are a whole different "I miss you". I was a Navy wife for 24 years but it was a different pain when the first son left to join the Marines. Then the next one left to go "do him" still hurt and the baby boy, who has turned into a grown man in the last year, is with your daughter at BC, hurts! It is just painful and amazing when they do what we have been working toward their entire lives, function independently. Not that you are looking for advice or that you don't already know this but start writing her letters. They really do look forward to them and if you can, make them encouragements to her, it might soothe you soul too. Look forward to times when she will come home, I hope it will be a refuge for you both. And like Cheryl wisely said "It's going to be ok."
Glad to know I'm not crazy, it sure feels like it sometimes. And advise is alway good. Thank you for responding it helps. I will try to write a letter though even just writing here brings on the tears I need to try.
Hi Louisa J. My son left for BC on 12/10/18 and every time I read a post like yours, it brings back memories. I took a couple days off of work to get in a better frame of mind since it was very emotional. It was hard since it was Christmas time, but I was also kept very busy which helped. It does get better! I found reading the information on this site very helpful and started learning as much as I could about PIR. The weeks will go faster than you think and hopefully you will get to go to PIR. If you go, there will be planning involved and you will want to know as much as possible. My son was my youngest, but since you have a younger son at home, it is a good opportunity to give him more attention while your daughter is away. It will keep you busy and hopefully he will like the extra attention while he is still at home. Bonding time. Good luck! I know it is hard, but you will start to do better as the days go on. Also, start writing letters now. I was busy at Christmas time and was not prepared with my letters. They depend on the letters and, as soon as you get her address, you should mail one out. My son,who never cared about that type of stuff, really looked forward to his letters (his lifeline at that point). I wished I had been prepared sooner. Good luck and thinking about you.
Louisa J, it does get easier, my son's PIR was on 12/14/18 and it seems so long ago now. His A School is over and he is stationed in San Diego. What helps me is looking at this transition through his eyes, crazy I know, because he is so happy and he is following his dream with being in the Navy. So yes, I'm sad he's not home anymore and probably never will live with us again, but happy that he is a strong, independent person that will be a productive citizen. Best wishes to your daughter. Come here often and get support.
Louisa J, the first weeks are the hardest because you get that quick call and then nothing. But she's okay and she made a great life choice. Write to her - even though you don't know where to send a letter. For me, writing to my son (whose PIR was 2 14 2020) seems almost like I am talking to him. I had a stack of letters ready to put in the mail when I finally heard from him and had his address. And this site is amazing - it would have been so much harder without the support of the other Navy Moms on this site - we are all here for each other.
Good morning Louisa J - My son left for BC on Feb 13th and your emotional roller coaster sounds all to familiar! Hang in there, I promise it gets better! I had all the same emotions and can tear up at any moment just thinking about how proud I am of him or when telling someone that he joined the Navy. And walking into his bedroom that first week...forget about it! :) This group of rock star women has been the biggest help and support and gotten me through my first two weeks beautifully. Read as much as you can on all the discussion boards...I honestly wish I had found them before my son left. Start writing letters now even though you can't send them yet...that has been the biggest help of all...I feel like we are in communication even though he isn't writing back yet. Keep all the sad letters and send all the uplifting supportive letters once you receive her address. Know that the Navy is taking great care of our children and trust in the process. Praying for peace to come to you soon!
Hi Everyone. My first post.
I was told the other day that if it doesn't hurt when your loved one goes on to another aspect of life, then you didn't do your job as a parent. We raised our son to be independent and our tears are a celebration of his achievements. I just have to remember that every day. It's definitely a challenge!
Louisa J-- BREATH!!! Welcome and you are ok and your feelings are normal!! This is the Hardest, Best thing you will do in BC!!! I found the book you are listening to to be hard but anything that helps is good!! Write, Write lots of letters!! Write the Sad, mopey letters, Write Happy up beat letters, Write all your fears and worries!! Then ONLY send the Happy upbeat letters and BURN The rest either when you leave for PIR, Get back from PIR or if cannot attend on the Day of PIR!!! If writing is not your thing then put a picture, pillow, shirt, Stuffy..... Anything to represent her in a chair and have at it!! Say all those feelings, Yell scream, Cry, Shout..... (I do suggest either doing it when no one else is home or warning them so they don't freak out!) But Get it all out there!! It is very cathartic to just dump those feelings. You are NOT alone!!! We all felt that way!! My Sailor left the day before his brother's 17th B-day. I still feel bad for being a blubbering mess on my youngest child's 17th!!! I felt like he (sailor) had died or something. DH was seriously concerned because I could not stop crying for the better part of a week and hardly slept or ate the whole time! This site saved my bacon and that is why I am still here 6 years later, Paying it forward! It's ok to Cry! We call it Navy Mom Allergies ;) It will get better! One day you will find that you don't cry but are just sad and missing her when you walk past her room, the you get the letter and you feel a little better knowing you can send mail. A week or 2 later and the first phone call comes and you are strong and happy on the phone but may feel weepy after but it's an ok weepy. Next thing you know you are making plans for PIR and realize you haven't cried in 2 whole weeks and it's going faster than you thought!! I am 6+ years in and currently sitting at my sailors computer and even now there are times when I still get a little weepy over missing him or knowing that he's getting ready to leave and tomorrow will be our last day together for who know how long. It never gets easier but we get stronger!! You are in the right place and we'll get you through!! Feel free to post or comment on the main BC page. Even if you think it's a silly question or that "Everyone probably knows that" We are happy to answer. It may be old to us but this is ALL New to you and we were ALL new once too!!