Heartbroken Ex Navy Girlfriend

Hello. Thanks for reading! My boyfriend broke up with me a little over 10 days ago. He is currently a Navy Nuke stationed in San Diego. He has been in San Diego since Mid-October. We were together for almost 3.5 years during which he was a civilian, went to boot camp, completed A-School, Power School and Prototype.

We are both from New York and I have been in NY the entire time that he has been in the Navy. We've had our fair share of ups and downs over the years just like any other long distance military couple could have. I am very easy going and independent enough that I can stand a long distance relationship and same thing goes for my ex-boyfriend. 

When he was in boot camp he would often write in his letters that he wanted me to move to Charleston when he graduated boot camp because he believed it was the next step in our relationship. We had been together a little over a year when he graduated boot camp. I graduated college in 2010 and he went to boot camp in 2011. I began working full-time in 2010. I did not want to give up my career and move to SC because I knew I would have to find an apartment, pay rent and find a new job. I also knew that his schooling would be difficult and would require that he put in long hours. I gave him my reasons for not wanting to move down there and I never did. When he found out that he was going to be stationed in San Diego the first thing he asked me was if I was going to move there to live with him. I said of course as we are both 25 years old and we've been together a little over 3 years. He would bring up me moving to CA a lot (in a good way). We would talk about the future and friends and family would ask when we were getting married. He never really answered that question when people would ask but would try to throw them off track by saying something like "it's up to her." A few weeks before he drove cross-country to San Diego we had a serious talk about the future and how he thought it would be best to live together before getting married. I wasn't too happy with the idea of that but I love him and if that's what made him happy then so be it. I remember a day or two after we had that conversation about us living together before marriage I told him that I was afraid that we would co-habitate and he would get comfortable with me living there and he wouldn't propose. He said that he wasn't going to do that to me. During the month of October we talked about him re-enlisting and making E-5 which would mean that he would begin receiving BAH. He even told me at one point that he would give me his credit card information so that if he did re-enlist and make E-5 that I could begin looking for apartments for us. He always told me he loved me when he got off the phone with me and despite the time difference between CA and NY things were working out just fine.

The day after Veterans Day I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back about 30 minutes later and he sounded very strange. I asked him if something was wrong and he said "I want to break up." The way he said it however was so unlike him because he said it with no emotion as if he was a heartless creature. I thought he was joking and he said no. I reminded him how long we've been together and he said I know. Then he went on to tell me that lately (not sure the time frame of that) he has been feeling forced to respond when I called or texted him. When I called or texted him though his responses were pretty normal so he did a good job of covering up the fact that he didn't want to talk to me. Secondly he told me that he didn't appreciate anything I do for him. I defended that and told him that I do a lot for him and his response was, "That's exactly it. You do so much for me and everything you do is phenomenal but I just don't appreciate it." I asked him if he met someone else and he said no. He then started to carry on about something that annoyed him about me and I got annoyed so I told him to never speak to me again (I said this out of anger) and I hung up on him. I have yet to hear from him. Him breaking up with me was so out of the blue and as I talk to more and more people about the break-up the words they use to describe how they feel about finding out that we are broken up are shocked, surprised, speechless and blind-sided.

I still don't know why he even broke up with me. As I've talked to my friends, our mutual friends and his relatives ( I was very close with his family) I've been getting the same general idea. A few people (friends/relatives) who don't even know or talk to each other have said that he at one point or another told them he didn't want a future with me. After all these talks of the future and him telling people I would move to CA soon and that he would propose after we had been living together I feel like our relationship was just one big fat lie. I was always faithful, loyal, understanding, caring, loving and gave him 100%. He's also not one to tell people what they want to hear. If he truly did not want a future with me and people asked about our future he would have said I don't know or we'll see. I feel like he had been fighting a battle within himself about not wanting a future and still wanting to be with me at the same time. I want answers from him on why he did this. I think that's the least he could give me. 

I posted on here because I was hoping someone had a similar experience that they could share and let me know what ended up happening. I have been keeping busy as much as I can but I work Monday-Friday from 9 a.m.- 6 p.m. and of course I need down time on weekends to cook and do laundry and when I have downtime on weekends is when this hits me the hardest. I have a lot of girlfriends nearby and I have been spending time with them and going out and having fun but I need a break from that right now.

Thanks for your help!