Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Allison, call Great Lakes Public Affairs office, and ask them how to get in touch with medical. 

http://www.netc.navy.mil/nstc/contact_pao.html

@Dezairay ... It depends on the report date on his orders for his new command, and how many days of leave he has earned.  It can be a week or two.  

Easy to figure out how many days he has available, he earned 2.5  month since he went to boot camp.  But there is no way to know his report date until he sees his orders. 

Is he going to try to do RAP duty?  He just helps his local recruiter for a few hours for five days, and gets back five leave days when the paperwork goes through.  It really is a good opportunity to grab free leave for later.  

Hmm... I don't know about that. I would think any PCS orders (anything over 20 weeks or 6 months) would qualify for base housing. But Anti M would definitely know more!!

If he's in ATT, he's probably in one of the schools long enough to be accompanied. If he is AECF, then he is for sure.  He needs to do his live ashore packet.  I haven't seen a recent post, but I do know housing is available enough it is an option for students.  

Micheal, yes the rule of thumb for accompanied vs. unaccompanied is 20 weeks/6 months, PLUS type of duty station PLUS how the orders are written.  I've been at an isolated duty station myself, where there were zero dependents, not even visitors.  But when we're talking CONUS training commands, it usually is the 20 week rule (except for P-cola, they can be weird).  There are always exceptions, strive to figure out if we're talking situation normal, or damn, that's freaky.  LOL.  

I spend a lot of time on damn that's freaky.  For example, I can't find a thing on getting married and living with a spouse during language school.  Mixed service bases are always a pain to figure out!  

@Lindsey ... pretty much what it sounds like.  We used to cal them verbal orders, because the detailer would tell you over the phone.  The "hard" part comes from "hard copy" orders, a set of physical orders in your hands.  It simple means everything is lined up, the sailor, the command's billet, and the funding.  Hard copy orders have all the details, when to report, how long he will be there, when he rotates out, contact info, whether dependents are authorized, if the move is funded for them, if they need screening, etc.  Soft orders are like a promise ring, hard orders are a marriage.  

Hey all! If my sailor and I were planning on getting married in December, when would he need to start the process of informing his command? I've read about having to put a chit in and taking counseling and things of that nature, but I feel very lost! Thanks!

Just a few weeks, between two and four is usually sufficient.  If you are planning on marrying during the holiday stand down, he doesn't really need the chit unless he really wants to take the class.  For those new sailors not familiar with dependents and the military, it actually could be useful.

Great, thanks so much for the information! I'm assuming holiday stand down would be the week of Christmas?

Yes, although depending on the training command and how much leave he wants to burn or borrow, the stand down is two weeks.  You can look at a calendar and take a guess at the stop and start days, but never book anything until you  know official dates.

Are their any Navy Wives in Great Lakes that want to hang out? & Does anyone know about Marriage counseling on base or anything?

Marriage counseling would be through Fleet and Family Support Center.  They have a number of classes and programs, and can help you choose the one you need.

http://www.mybaseguide.com/navy/21-583/ns_great_lakes_fleet_family_...

My fiancé just left for boot camp at meps. Any advice? When should I expect a phone call that he got to boot camp? 

Whatever your son chooses, it should be what he wants to do for the next fout to sic years.  If he wants to go to sea, pursue sea going ratings.  If he wants CTN, he needs to get an ASVAB study guide (you can buy them online).  He should not choose his day to day job just to avoid going to sea.  This is the Navy, that is what they do.  He should try to choose something he can build a future on, something which interests him.   The Air Force might be a better fit.

My husband left for bootcamp not that long ago. It was 2 weeks yesterday.. When will I be getting a letter from him? I got the form letter last week.

Michael,

are the 3 phone calls "im here", one in between and "im a sailor"? and I totally agree with you. His tests are important! It would be nice to hear from him though just to know how he's doing. I was really hoping for a letter tomorrow.

Those are the three calls.  It is rare, but possible to miss the third week one if they have dental or watch.  Unusual though.  Some get more as rewards, or if they need information for security clearances.  The I'm a sailor call can be nice and long!

If he sends you the official form letter, that is ten days to a couple weeks.  Personal letters begin in two~three weeks.  They usually write on Sundays, but not during their in processing days.

http://navyformoms.com/group/bootcampmoms/page/letter-writing-fun-s...

I've never found a good solution, and I've been married 29 years.  My nephew's wife goes through this with her MIL (my SIL).  You can try talking to her, but it may be best if your fiance lays down the law.  He needs to say "I want XYZ amount of time with my fiance, so plan for that".  Let him know in a letter that you need him to stick up for you.  

That's how I got my MIL to stop calling me by hubby's ex-wife's name for years, he had to tell her to stop, or we'd stay a hotels during visits.  She stopped.  

Have a good time at PIR, and best wishes for the future.  

Could someone give me some information on Tricare coverage for Reserve sailors and their families? Specifically about coverage for the birth of a baby? I am not expecting a baby lol, just very curious about the difference in coverage between having a child while husband is active duty versus reserve.

Yes, I can, but you are not going to like it, so I apologize in advance.

To take a dependent overseas, the sailor must be an E-4 or above.  Dependents must have command sponsorship to get the SOFA visa, and to be eligible for benefits and allowances overseas, plus be able to use base facilities such as medical. All dependents must pass overseas screening.  

If he is E-4, he can put in a waiver to his command to get command sponsorship for you (You have to be married).  Sometimes this is approved, other times not, all depends on the command budget.  If he is not an E-4, you are not going until he is.  He must have enough time on his tour there to be considered for accompanied, so he may need to extend his overseas tour.

I have a blog with more details:

http://navyformoms.com/profiles/blogs/what-is-command-sponsorship

Don't mean to butt in here but "zero options" isn't totally right, as I see an option that Anti M just laid out for her. Even when we get news that is difficult to handle, I think it is important we all stay positive and uplifting to one another!

1. They could get married quickly and submit a request for command sponsorship, if he is an E-4.

2. She could look into going to Japan anyway, or we could inform her of how often she can travel to see him.

Regardless, being blunt and negative is uncalled for. I am all for being realistic and not beating around the bush, all while being sympathetic and compassionate. Exactly like Anti M does it. I know all to well how devastating it can be to ask a question on this site and get bad news in return. I'm not saying that we need to avoid being the bearers of bad news, but the way we speak to one another when letting someone down needs to be kind.

And on that note, you going around and telling someone "well if you were married sooner, he wouldn't have been sent overseas" does nothing but create more hurt feelings.

If she goes over on a tourist visa to visit, she can only stay 90 days.  That long in Japan is extremely pricey, unless he has friends who would let her crash.  If he is going to a ship, he'll be deploying a lot, so she isn't missing a ton of time with him.  The 7th Fleet goes out a lot, over 250 days a year in some cases.  He will get to take leave, but getting a full 30 to travel to the US is hard.  Best to use it to visit with her if she gets to visit.  Get a passport NOW.

They should marry as soon as they can, in order to catch any possibility of her going over.  I do not know what paygrade he is, so can't say for sure if that is even realistic. Some commands are much better at approving sponsorship, but do I know which ones?  Nope.  Are they going to be apart early on in their marriage and is it hard as hell?  Yes.  I was apart from my husband for the first two years we were married, because oddly, we both had orders to Japan ... different ends of the country.  

As for arguing online, life is too short.  Disagree and move forward.  We all have something to add, we all have different styles, and that's okay.  

Bronco, thanks for saying I'm nice.  I've caught a lot of flak for being direct and bearing bad news in the past, because lots of new young SOs needed rainbows and kittens.  I am better at salt and reality checks.  Sometimes I forget and talk to spouses as if they were sailors, because that is what I was used to doing.  That never went over well, LOL.   

Megs, which base?  We have several there.  You can look at teaching there via DODDS.  When I separated from the Navy in Yokosuka, I could not find work in electronics, so I subbed for years at the high school on base.  That may be an option, but I think you have to apply now.  You certainly should apply for a passport as soon as you can.  

The money is really good IF you can get a position on base.  They also hire tutors and aides locally if you do get sponsored.

http://www.dodea.edu/Pacific/

Also, be very cautious when taking a teaching contract with an English teaching school in Japan.  While few are outright scams, some have bad reputations for how they treat their foreign teachers. Research every review you can find.  There will be plenty of jobs in Tokyo and Yokohama area, which works if the orders are to Yokosuka.  Sasebo is pretty built up, but Misawa, not so much.  Okinawa is like another country entirely.  

If he gets top grad, does he advance to E-3?  I know they do that in some cases.