Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

If they say the taken rent is less than the BAH, then yes, you get to keep the extra.  You can always call the housing office directly and talk to them for specifics.  Not every neighborhood takes all the BAH.  The privatized neighborhoods tend to be very safe, any crime is usually transitory and resolved fairly quickly.   

@Megs, yes, you can post the ship.  Google it, and it will give you the homeport.  Probably Yokosuka, since that is the bigger port.  

Hey everyone,

I was wondering if there are any pianists on here who can help me understand my options within military life. I know this is like a teeny tiny little problem compared to all the other stuff that comes up on here, but I just wanted to make sure I'm not limiting myself to only one option. I have never had to rent a piano before, I've always either owned one or had access to a studio like when I was in university. I'm not opposed to the idea because I'll do what I have to in order to play music, but I just want to know if anyone has been successful with owning a piano. I'm not talking about like a grand piano here or anything, I currently own an upright. It just seems like after all the delivery and pickup fees, plus paying monthly rental fees, over the next few years I'll have paid for another piano or two, and the store credits offered after so many months of rental are not really valuable to me as I may or may not be in the area again to use it. On the other side of things though, paying to move the piano over the years will probably cost more than the piano too. It's not a really big deal either way because like I said, I will do what I have to. I guess I just want to know what other people have decided to do in this situation. Yes, I also have an electric piano and a keyboard, and I will have the keyboard with me, but I prefer the feel of the acoustic.

I would love to hear what decisions you guys might have made and how they have turned out for you over the years if possible. 

Thank you in advance! :)

Allison - my DIL bought a used organ on Craigslist when she got to my son's first duty station & then plans to sell it when they move.  She figures whatever she might lose in value will be less than the cost of renting & shipping.  They rented a u-haul & got friends to help.  Of course a piano would need tuning etc after the move.  They plan on doing this every time they move.  My local craigslist has several upright/console pianos for under $500.

Allison ... you would not pay to move the piano, you can have one moved as part of your household goods shipment.  You would want a professional prep it before each move, and one to tune it after, but if you're within the weight allowance, which is generous, they'll move it.  They move boats and motorcycles as part of HHG, a piano is easy.

http://www.stripes.com/polopoly_fs/1.132789!/menu/standard/file/military_move1.pdf

They will probably let him keep his live ashore, because how will they know unless someone says something, or sees it posted online?  As long as you are coming back, it should be fine.  He needs to check the rules he agreed to, just to be certain.

Paige, they do not pursue adultery convictions unless it is detrimental to the Navy, is fraternization with an officer, AND there is 100% proof (I am talking eye witness without even sheets), a video of the sex act, or one of the parties confesses to their chain of command.  Texts and emails are not proof.  If you move away because your spouse is cheating, you can contact their chain of command and let them know he is now a geographic bachelor and doesn't need an apartment anymore.

Engaged, your sailor must be on the birth certificate as the father to list the child as a dependent if you are not married.   Did you put him on  the certificate?  If you did, he's good to go.

Mail a certified copy of the birth certificate anyway, and he can see if they accept it.  If they do, it will mean faster benefits for your child.

Yes.

Babies fly on planes just fine.  The cabin is pressurized, it is not "high altitude". My friends fly with their infants often.  Talk to your pediatrician about tips and tricks to flying with babies.

I had asthma and I did fine on planes, and I traveled a lot.  The air got a little dry, so sometimes I would wear a small medical mask as it helped keep my mouth and throat moist. Again, a pressurized plane cabin is not high altitude.  If you have really severe asthma, see what your doctor says.  If it is truly awful, you can make arrangements for oxygen on the plane.  Again, ask your doctor.

The Naval bases in WA are not "high altitude"!  They are on the ocean.  So sea level.  

Noting says you have to fly.  Driving is an option.  Navy will pay for gas and a per diem travel allowance.

Paige - I'm not sure what base your husband is assigned to, but my son & DIL are at Whidbey Island WA & they totally love it - already talking about retiring there one day. This is his first assignment & he could not be happier with it.

Hi Loren, most likely yes, since his ship is deployed and they just left he will have to meet them, which raises lots of questions for you. First of all, typically when they graduate their A school they can request up to 2 weeks of transfer leave - I am not familiar with the PACT program, but he may be able to do this so at least you will still get some time together.

Regarding him meeting the ship on deployment, since his ship will schedule those details no one can really say how soon after he gets to Norfolk he will be sent to meet them. Yes it could be the next day but it could be a few days... it depends if the ship is at sea and they need to fly him out to meet him them at sea, or if they are in port (easier if they are in port). Depending on the ship's schedule, they may wait until a more convenient time to fly him so unfortunately it's just a wait and see.

In regards to you moving to Norfolk, you certainly don't have to in this situation - you can wait until he is back. Personally, that is what I do and what I did during my husband's first deployment. We were stationed in San Diego for his A and S school and the ship he was assigned to here in Norfolk deployed 3 weeks after he arrived so we made the decision for me to stay in San Diego until he returned from deployment. It is really hard to settle into a new place on your own, and it's hard to not have your family and friends around during deployment, especially if you have not even had time to make any friends by the time he leaves! Another thing to consider is what you have going on where you are living now. Are you working, in school, do you have children who are in school.... it might make more sense then to stay put until he comes home and then move when he is back. You are certainly diving into military spouse life head first. Make sure that you ask any questions you have and encourage him to do the same because that is the only way you'll get answers. When we were in this similar situation I had to constantly remind my husband to ask ask ask... no one will tell him more than they have to if he doesn't ask, and then you will not know what all of your options are.

I encourage you to get in touch with the FRG and Ombudsman as soon as he checks into his command - you will not be able to before he officially checks in, but once he does, I encourage you to reach out by email to make sure you are on their list to receive email updates, as any important information about the ship will come from them, and it is also a good way to connect and meet other spouses whose loved ones are on the same ship. Also, the ombudsman especially can be very helpful in guiding a new spouse through her husband's first deployment. Most of the FRG board is usually spouses whose SOs have been in for awhile so they have experienced all of this before and can be helpful too. And of course, you can always come here with questions as well!

AS an APACT, his training will be in Pensacola.  It should be four weeks, so he has time to begin arranging your move then, IF you choose to move to Norfolk at this time.  He will get a week of leave, at least, after training. With the short PACT program, that is about all he will have earned, plus he will get a day or two for travel time.

It is very likely they will fly him out to the ship, although often there is reason to wait for the optimal time.  Whether the ship is in port, or close to where they can put him on transport on a helo or other aircraft, or if he has to wait on hold in Norfolk if they want him to have a no fee passport (I've seen this for subs).  There are a lot of variables, and the detailer who issued the orders probably had no access to such details.  That's why they could not tell you he'll go straight on deployment.

As suggested, find the ombudsman and Family Readiness Group right away.  That way you will be prepared when he checks in.  

You can do this.  Look at it this way, you're getting a big chunk of suck out of the way early on!  

There are three PACT programs.  Two at Great Lakes, and the aviation one is in Pensacola.  But who knows, it can change from one week to the next.  

Hello all,

I am looking for girlfriends/fiancé/wives in the Norfolk/Little Creek/Fort Story Virginia area. I will be relocating within the next 6ish months to be my other half. I would like to meet some others before getting there and get some insights. 

Thanks!