Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors

Family Separation Allowance is $250 a month, and begins after 30 days.  As as allowance, it is not taxable.

He may have chosen allotments to go into the retirement/401k type savings offered now.  

A rule of thumb is pay is taxable, allowances are not.  Some states tax military pay, some do not, some only tax if they are stationed in state.  The federal taxes will certainly be withheld.  Even our retired Navy pay is taxed!   In any case, look up your state's tax code.  The good news is every base has VITA tax volunteers to walk you through filing when the time comes.

@Anti M 

Would the Family Separation Allowance go into OUR checking account? Will it be included in his checks??

It will be in his check.  Everything will be in his pay.

Im excited! Surprise trip to Chicago tomorrow to see my hubby for the first time (authorized ;) ) since Jan 25th

@ChrissySue ... enjoy your trip!  

@sspawlus ... try the Navy Lodge.  Next to base, inexpensive.

abuon is correct, and if you call the Tricare nurse line, they can always dorect you how to take care of any urgent issue.  Even as a retiree, I rely on that nurseline when I cannot get to the clinic on base.

I got my health insurance forms same day as my first letter from him. I have an appointment to take my forms he sent to where they need to go so I can get my ID! (:

my boyfriend left for basic 4/18 and this is his 3rd week there  how long does it take to receive personal a letters?

Hi Tiffany22! They'd be able to write a personal letter after the processing days, usually for about two weeks. But it could be longer than that if their division isn't complete yet. Or could be because of your location that's why it's taking longer? 

My boyfriend left on April 10, his letter is dated April 23, his parents received it on the 26th. It was sent the same day to me then I received it for about a week after! 

@TieranyC ... the others are correct, because he is married, he will probably not get overseas orders.  It is not impossible, especially for some ratings.  Just unlikely for a first set of orders.

If he does go, he must be an E-4 to take you with him. There are special visas for military spouses, which lets you reside overseas.  If you go on your own, you're on a tourist visa, and must leave the country after 90 days (that varies).  A few duty stations do not allow dependents at all.  However, since the chances are slim, don't worry about it.  It is possible, but not probable.  

Thanks! 

It can be either Midway or O'Hare.  No way to tell beforehand until he lets you know.  It really is a toss-up.  Plan for either.

sspaws ... I don't know why that would be.  Sometimes the new recruits don't comprehend the information correctly.  BAH can take a few pay cycles to kick in, so you almost certainly will not see it in the first paycheck,and maybe not for a few pay cycles (paid twice each month, 1st and 15th).  In the past, there was enough of a lag between the paperwork and the BAH showing up, it was toward the end of boot camp before it showed up.  Lately, they have been doing very well, and by the second or third pay day, the entire BAH from day one when he shipped from MEPS was in the deposit.  A lot depends on how many processing days he had, or if there were errors in the paperwork.

In any case, married recruits are eligible to receive BAH for their dependents.  They do NOT have to wait for graduation.  It just may seem like it because of the paperwork lag.

I was dual military, but under the really, really old system, where each of us got half the BAH!  It really sucked.

Yes, it is very common for new sailors to be swamped with information, and not really get it right at first.  I am glad we are here to help answer questions, when we can.

About the only way is with his username and password.  Be certain you have everything exactly.  The site can be fussy and lock you out, I know I hate using it.

I was mostly on shore duty, and a 40 hr. work week was rare.  We worked 7 am to 4 pm, with an hour for lunch.  We also had duty days which were 24 hours.  In addition, we might put in extra hours if the command was tasked with providing security for base events.  We did not get extra days off if we had weekend duty.  We were all on call techs too, so if the gear went down, we went to work until the systems were up and running.  Days on end.  During typhoons, those of us who were "essential" stayed at the command until the all clear was called.  We didn't do organized PT, but some commands do, that's extra hours.  Sometimes training is within work hours, sometimes it is not.  

Other people at our command were on shift work, 2 day shifts, 2 evening shifts, 2 mid shifts, with days off after a cycle.  They did not stand duty like we did.  

Every command will be a little different, but do not expect a simple work week like civilians get.  He will always be busy, and it will suck on the days you want him around.  

Hi mamh1108 ...

Liberty phases do vary a little, so it is impossible to give you a set of dates.  Usually the courthouse marriage is just the couple, and then when he takes leave after A school, you can have a ceremony for the families.  

Here is the liberty policy for Great Lakes:

https://www.facebook.com/notes/training-support-center-tsc-great-la...

Phase one can be two weeks, or it can be a full month.  It will depend on the individual school command.   He will be told the policies when he checks into A school.  Shorter A schools phase up quicker.   He will want to be in phase three, so he can have an overnight with you.

Did you find the link for the Lake County county clerk, for the license information?

My husband never had to go back to base at night while we were married and living in Great Lakes, and the same with his fc counterparts, so as long as they are living there, he can come home to her as he will be either et or fc if I remember correctly from her post in another page on here. If she chooses not to live in IL with him, he can request special liberty at any phase with her. I signed my husband out as his liberty buddy during phase one, that is how we went out and got our license for IL and got married since we couldn't get married before he shipped. Our friend's sister stayed with us and was able to sign her brother out at phase two as his liberty buddy. All they need is a chit, phase doesn't really matter, it's all about timing for approval and if they are in good standing. The only benefit of waiting until phase three is that he won't have to also request special overnight liberty. However, if anyone wanted to visit during phases 1 or 2, he can fill out a chit for special overnight liberty with her or another family member. That's not to say it will be approved, but for that once in awhile visit, there is a good chance. 

mama1108, my husband and I did the courthouse wedding during A school since we were told having our wedding before he left would delay his ship date because I lived and worked in another country, which would slow down clearances, lots of paperwork, etc. Anyway, you will both need to appear in person at the county clerk office, which is open M-F, and it would be best to do this during ATT or earlier if you can since the training hours can make it difficult for him to get there before they close. After that, you can be married by any qualified person, religious or civil. If you have more time, there are lots of people willing to meet you for a couple hours somewhere in Lake County. I would recommend getting married in Lake County because it is easier to make it to the clerk for the certificate than getting all the way to Chicago (Cook County). There are some beautiful parks and hotels. Otherwise, you can appear at the courthouse during their wedding hours, but know that you'll most likely be sharing the moment with other couples. I personally didn't even notice the other couples, I was totally focused on my husband, but it did clearly bother some of the other couples and their families there. They just can't promise you a private affair, it depends how many people are getting married, and with all the Navy guys fresh out of bootcamp on top of the general population, there's A LOT of couples there. 

I want to clarify, if you get a certificate from the County Clerk in Lake County, you cannot get married in Chicago as it is in Cook County. 

Here is the website for the Lake County Clerk, Great Lakes is in Lake County, the office is probably 10-15 minutes from base https://www.lakecountyil.gov/383/Marriage-Licenses

http://www.19thcircuitcourt.state.il.us/1498/Babcox-Justice-Complex

This is were my husband and I were married, Babcox Justice Complex because we were able to get married on a Saturday this way. Get there early if you go this route! They will marry you in the order you arrived, and if they run out of time and have another case to address after 11, the will stop for the day. Bring cash, and to be on the safe side, pay exact change. 

If he wants to get married in uniform, he can go in either his nsu's (the black and khaki for him) or dress uniform, nsu's are the standard since courthouse attire is nice but not formal, but if you're wearing a wedding dress or would just prefer it, he can absolutely wear his dress uniform, both are approved since it's still a wedding. 

Last thing for now, but feel free to message me if you have more questions, I recommend having your sailor put in for special liberty to give you the time to get everything done and then celebrate a little. He will need one chit to sign out with you, and one chit to stay overnight with you if you will be getting married before phase 3. Chits are more likely to get approved if they don't require a duty swap, so if date isn't super important to you, avoid duty weekends...which will make sense when he gets there. I would expect the first two months to definitely be phases 1 and 2, but after that it is totally up in the air. He will have the most time either before ATT or A School during the period known as "holds" or during ATT (usually phase 1 during this time). He won't be able to skip A School days to get married, and the hours for both et/fc will be difficult to work with.Not only is it more time for you guys to get everything done for the wedding, but it will be easier for him to get everything updated in DEERs and apply for housing if you'll be moving there. A School is a stressful time.

You rock, Allison!

Well, my husband left for boot camp yesterday!  He had his cell so we were able to talk while he was at the airport in Chicago. I didn't get much sleep the two nights before, so the last text I sent was telling him that I might pass out but had my phone next to me for the "I'm here in Great Lakes" call.

Apparently I didn't put my phone on loud properly though so I woke up at about 12:45 to see he had called me twice at 12:08am.  So I missed the call!!!  I hope he's not upset.  I can't believe myself, I knew I shouldn't have went to bed.

@TiernyC ... whether you get to move with him will depend on how his orders are written, and where he will be stationed.  I would say "probably yes" in your case, without knowing the details.  He will find out during his training after boot camp.

Anchored, being apart is difficult indeed, especially with so many unknown factors.  However, you are likely stronger than you know, it sounds as if you have a handle on this.  Are you in the boot camp group also?  It is good to have different people to lend support.  If you are on Reddit, there is 

https://www.reddit.com/r/USMilitarySO/

While that is all branches, it is also a good place to vent and get some support.  If I come across other resources, I will post them for everyone.

I've not seen so much activity in one day on here for a long time. I am a little impressed with the passion, but dismayed at the name calling.  I have been accused of being mean or rude now and then myself, because I have a concise style and sometimes do not pull punches.  I do try to be gentle, and will readily admit when I am wrong (LOL, I try, I really try).  I find some people write as if they were speaking, and sometimes the meaning of a post gets a little lost.  

We are all here for support.  I must admit when someone posts something which is flat wrong, I'll jump in, but it is frustrating.  Some spouses have very unique situations, and their viewpoints throw off the advice.  

Oh, btw, there are indeed about 100 phones at the phonebank.  That's a fact.  How many work, and work well, all on the same day is a matter of debate.  Basically, enough phones for one division at a time.  Each Training Group has several divisions, and there are several training groups.  The math means there are not many opportunities for phone calls.  Be prepared, plan for the worst, hope for the best.  It is about all you can do.

If anyone is wondering, yes, I was in the Navy, but I went to boot camp in Orlando.  My father was a Masterchief, my husband was also Navy, and my nephew and acquired kids are currently active duty.  Technically I am still associated with the Navy as my husband is a retiree, so I still have the ID card, am still on Tricare, and still deal with DFAS and the VA. Yes, I can be something of a know it all.    

Another example of different circumstances. My SR went to Great Lakes of 4/4/17 with a scheduled PIR of 6/2/17. I got the "I'm here" call, one 20 minute call, and two 5 minute calls. Waiting for the "I'm a Sailor" call. :)

FYI, Micheal is a guy.  His husband. 

I hate to jump in here and change the subject but I'm just looking for a little support and encouragement tonight. I'm still relatively new to all of this. My sailor (boyfriend) has only been graduated from boot camp since the end of March and just graduated A school May 16th. He was able to go home to visit his family afterward which was wonderful because they were unable to make it to his graduations and hadn't sen him since he left for boot camp. I am a traveling nurse in Idaho at the moment. It was going to cost him $1,500 to re route his flight to come visit me alone. I totally understood and told him not to worry about it. I know it really upset him that he was not able to come see so I've tried really hard not to make him feel worse about it. My contract here is ending this week and I'm still trying to figure out what is next for me. Between moving out of my apartment today and trying to figure out my own plans I know it makes all the stuff with missing him harder. Tomorrow morning he flies out to his first base (I'm not really sure how to refer to it? his first orders?) and I don't know why but its hitting me hard tonights. Maybe its just because I'm not 100% about everything that happens next or when I will see him next. Anywho sorry for rambling I could just use some positive thoughts tonight.