The Cyber Sisterhood

Oh and Shawn should be hitting phase 3 this Wednesday.

Chris is out and about today with his grandparents (my in-laws). They're spending the week in Pensacola to visit him. They haven't seen each other in several years. Three or four at least. They live in the southeast, we live in the northwest, and neither wants to visit the "other coast."

I don't know who owns this truck, but I like him (or her) already!

Chris gets liberty every day, but it's pretty short on school days. They get out of class at 6:30 and have to muster at 9:30.

Arwen, Shawn said they were suppose to be getting rid of Bravo shift for IT so it might change for him.

Sandra, I believe I read some where that they can apply to live off base if married after 30 days but I am not sure. It won't be long before she could anyways. Shawn has the alpha shift so he has pt at 4am and gets out of class at 12:30. Oh and before I forget they aren't suppose to walk off base alone for safety reasons so her husband might want to get her if she has to walk in the dark.

Chris just started on bravo shift, it seems silly to start new people on something they're about to get rid of. Isn't there also a "charlie" shift (11:30 pm to 8:30 p.m.)? I remember someone talking about their sailor being on that "shift." Maybe that's what they're phasing out.

What's with the different "shifts" anyway?

Yea there is suppose to be a "charlie" shift as well. From what Shawn said they were suppose to be pushing everyone from bravo to alpha because it is a slow time for IT and they have room in alpha.

There isn't a difference in shifts from what I know. Shawn has pt at 4 am and then class until 12:30. He then has the option of staying for a volunteer shift which is 2 hours. He is also able to stay for bravo shift if he wanted to but as of Friday he was atleast 10 days ahead of everyone he started with. After Chris finishes mod 35 he will do his "dream sheet."

How did Shawn get so far ahead of Chris? He didn't have any significant delays but he's only been in actual A school for a week now.

Oh, if Chris has his choice he would probably pick Charlie. He's a night owl. He does poorly in the morning, and really gets going towards the end of the day.

I am going to assume that Shawn filled in a spot in alpha. I mean I know he started about a week before Chris did so that could be the reason. Shawn did say the record for completing everything was 5-6 days. He also did more checking into the whole promotion thing. He was able to find out that if they finishes everything in I believe he said 35 working days with a 95 avg and I think they had to sign on another year then they would be able to get promoted. Shawn just wants out of there so he is trying to get through them.

Shawn wanted bravo because he is so not a morning person. His only saving grace is that any time there is a chance of rain his pt gets canceled.

Chris says that he is the slowest among his group for progress in class, but that he has the highest score thus far. He also said he was told that the statistical trend for the program is that those who take a little longer get higher scores. I just hope he's working fast enough to finish within the time allowed!

Oh, he also mentioned that his class is the first class to go through the new course outside of its testing phase. All earlier classes are still considered part of the testing of the system.

He loves the learning style, and even more so that it actually tracks his scores compared to the lesson type, and shifts itself to teach only in the learning styles he does best at. Talk about optimizing your possibilities! I wish they could incorporate this style of schooling into our public schools.

We got Chris' Keel earlier this week. We've had a lot of fun comparing it to Mike's Keel, especially the big overview picture. I really hope Chris purchased the DVD, so Mike and Erin can also see the event.

I was a bit frustrated that they haven't updated the Keel to reflect the new barracks, new uniforms, and the new Battlestations 21. The actual division pictures don't match the rest of it at all! It's like using last year's high school yearbook photos and sticking this year's individual photos in it. Great Lakes switched to the NWUs a year ago, you'd think they'd have come up with something new by now!

Pam, Chris' Keel is nearly identical to Mike's. We had fun putting them side-by-side, seeing what has changed since Mike was there almost 30 years ago. There are a few big changes - the new barracks and new parade hall - but much of the rest is exactly as he remembers. It's amazing how little has changed over such a long time.

Hey Ladies~ Hope everyone had a great weekend. Received Ed's Keel. I asked him if he wanted me to send it to him he said, "That's okay....I'm good. I think it's more for the parents."lol. My dude.Still waiting on the DVD. He starts "full on" classes today. I hate that he is clear across the country.

Slimsam~ Is it a "guy" thing or an "age" thing? :D

Heh, it's better than my Orlando version of the Keel, the Rudder. It was all stock photos, with a glue-in section for company (division) photos at the back. We had more in-training photos, though, and not so many group pix.

It turns out Chris' IT class is the very first to start a new, revamped IT program. They filled out their dream-sheets the first week. There are a lot of changes, he said. So even compared to the class immediately before him, I really can't go by what others have experienced (or are experiencing) in the program.

There were several group pictures, including ones Chris didn't buy. I'm glad to see those. And one of them he's actually in the front row (sitting). That is a big deal to me because he's been in the back row (for height) in every other group picture he has ever been in!

I don't have the DVD yet. I hope Chris actually bought it, but I'm not sure.

Stephanie got the Keel yesterday. We haven't got the DVD or T-Shirts yet.

Hey Ladies~ Hope ya'll are having a great afternoon.
Still have not received the DVD. :((
Pam and All~ Can you clue me in on Skype? What is needed for it?

Thanks Slimsam :) I have a webcam. I put it away after realizing... that I was dusting it more than I used it. lol. I will have to set it up again. One more thing I can bug my boy about.:))) A mother's job is never done. lol

I can understand how this can be shocking to your system. He's going through a LOT of changes (and so are you), and it can seem pretty overwhelming. Waiting a while seems like a good idea, but when it comes to the Navy, there are some complications.

If he waits to get out of school and gets married betweenwhile on leave, then his new wife may not be allowed to join him at his new duty station (if he is stationed in Hawaii or overseas). Also, the Navy will not pay to move a new spouse to a duty station. They have to be married *at least* a month before his orders are cut. Otherwise the newly married couple has to pay the full cost of moving her to his new station, and the cost of renting a place in town until the paperwork is complete, which can take months. He would not be reimbursed for either cost.

So, there is a way to wait, yet make the Navy (and momma!) happy at the same time.

It's not an uncommon thing for sailors in school to do a quick legal "Justice of the Peace" wedding during school, usually when they get together to plan for the big wedding. Then she goes home to her regular life and he stays at school, as if they weren't married, and he files the paperwork. The prevailing attitude is that it is equivalent to applying for a marriage license,

When he goes home for leave between graduation and his duty station, they have the big family & friends wedding and no one but the bride, groom and a few close family members knows about the earlier "paperwork" wedding. They go on their honeymoon from there, then on to his duty station.

f they want to, they can even apply for a second marriage certificate in the state where they have the big wedding. It's perfectly legal, and later on they can choose to use that date (with marriage certificate in hand) as their anniversary date.

Wow, Colleen I understand your hesitation. It doesn't help that their emotions tend to be a little more intense, because of the long distance relationship. Ed had started a new relationship before he left, She was talking about moving to the area where his A school is located, so that they would be able to spend time together. Needless to say...it didn't last. But, is that an option for her...before taking such a huge step. (Apologized if this is a dbl posting...accidently deleted the first one.)

Wow, Colleen, I'm with you. 3 months is NOT long enough to date before making such a huge, life-altering, life-long decision!!! Seeing if their relationship can last another year is a very great idea.

Time isn't an issue for some couples. I knew Mike for 2 months when *I* proposed to him, then a month later he went on WestPac (six month deployment in the Western Pacific), then we married a month after he returned. We hadn't even known each other for nine months when we married. Our 21st wedding anniversary is this June.

Yet I know people who knew/dated each other for YEARS before they got married, and their marriages failed. My foster daughter is about to go through a divorce to her sailor, and they dated for two years before marrying (they married before he joined the Navy). He's reenlisting, she isn't.

There is no "right" formula for how long to know or date each other before marriage. Particularly when it comes to the Navy. The Navy makes it very hard to date or carry on a casual or even less than casual relationship with person other than the spouse. However, it does do its best (within obvious confines) to help a sailor keep a stable relationship with a spouse, happy, stable sailors are better sailors. So there is a built-in counter-incentive to dating for a long time, or long engagements.

Colleen-Well our three kids didn’t listen to our advice. Come to think of it, I didn’t either. I met Tammy and about a month and a half later I asked her to marry me. Of course my parents thought it wouldn’t last, but in June we celebrate thirty years of marriage! The thing I hated was I had to do the things I had hated as a kid when my Dad would come home and discipline me after being away. I just wanted to have the peace and quite and enjoy my family when I got home, not have to hear what they had did wrong when I was away. The thing is the spouse is the head of the house when the other is away and it makes it very hard on them. It takes a special person to be able to do that. It’s to bad that went over my head when I was growing up with my Dad at sea.

Wow I missed a lot. I not only killed my computer once, but I did it twice and this time it ain't fixable. Shawn is letting me have my new computer back since I need one for school work. I am once again spending my weekend down in Pensacola, but this time he has phase 3! I hope everyone else gets it really soon!

Colleen- I wish I could be helpful. I do know how it feels to be lonely and I know how it feels to have everything think you are too young to get married. I also know how hard it is to be barely married and separated seeing as how he was gone for 3 out of the 8 months. But I do think that everyone here has learned that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I've been thinking about Justin constantly since you told us about this.. This morning I woke up to a sunny day, feeling well rested and I sat at the table eating breakfast looking outside and thinking only about this situation with Justin. As your friend and fellow Navy mom, I'm trying to figure out how I would handle this if it were my son and therefore be able to share with you what I would probably do and say to my son. Try not to worry too much, Colleen, as I do believe that there is "time" and you and Chris will have a chance to really sit down and talk to Justin eye to eye about this when you see him on your trip to Goose Creek three weeks from now. He will see and understand more than ever just how much you love him and he'll know that his future and well-being and his happiness are all that matter to you and Chris.

Any one of us could be facing this difficult situation at any time. I read where a military mom described how often it is that young sailors and soldiers choose to get married early. She said that she thinks it's to "have a family again" who is there with them and close by.

Justin is such a smart young man, I believe that he will look at the situation from all sides and that he will listen to your words of advice and do some hard thinking when you are there in Goose Creek with him.

Hang in there, Colleen. You will be there with him soon and you and Chris and Justin will be able to talk in person, honestly, openly and lovingly.

Somehow, I believe all of this is going to work out just fine, one way or another.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to all of you and to Justin as well. Bless his heart.
He is such an intelligent, well-mannered, personable, and extremely handsome young man. I had the pleasure of meeting him on our trip there to Goose Creek.

P.S. Interestingly, my husband's thoughts about this are similar to Scott, Proud Dad of Brian's thoughts.

He heard me making some coffee, and I muttered to myself, "God bless her, I know this is so hard for her". He said, "WHAT'S WRONG?" (he thought something terrible had happened). I said, "I'm talking about Colleen and Justin wanting to get married."

He said, "What's so terrible about it? That's the way it used to be, people got married young, there's nothing wrong with that...it could be a good thing. The most important thing is that if they do get married his wife will have to be understanding and patient during the times when he's gone for six months at a time. This could be a very good and happy thing. I don't think this is such a terrible thing at all!"

So that was another perspective. I thought it was good to hear and consider some positive thoughts about this and wanted to share them with you. I believe that things are going to work out well for Justin either way this goes. I truly do. :)

I actually met his fiance while in Goose Creek! The time that I spent with her was extremely brief, but my impression was that she is a lovely girl

I agree that having a loved one close while in the service is a reason for many sailors getting married early (and as I mentioned, the Navy makes it difficult to have a girlfriend compared to a wife), but also, the Navy cuts out a lot of the reasons why modern civilian society makes it difficult for young couples to succeed.

In civilian life the biggest obstacle is money. Young people are often in college or are just starting out at the bottom somewhere. They're working retail or some part time job, often don't have health insurance and either live with their parents or several roommates to make ends meet. When they do live on their own, it's often sub-standard housing, not conducive to a place for a married couple or a young family to live.

The military eliminates many of these problems, taking care of housing and all household bills except phone and cable TV, putting young couples and families in decent housing, usually in decent neighborhoods, providing health insurance and a whole month of vacation time every year. I sat down and figured it out once, an E-3 with a wife and one or two children, when you include all of the things the Navy pays for, earns the equivalent of $5,000/month.

It takes most civilians until the age of 30 to achieve a lifestyle at the same level as a 20-year-old married sailor.

So sailors are comfortable in knowing that they *can* provide a decent living for a family, even in their late teens or early 20s.

Which base is she at? NAS? Because in Chris' barracks at Corry they are so under-filled there is mostly 1-2 sailors per room, in rooms meant for three sailors. That's pretty cool for her, though, that she can live off base with her husband so easily.

So, we're waiting - for PICTURES!!! We want PIR pix!

Chris is in IT, but everyone in his apartment of rooms is CT. Maybe they put him in the CT section because of a lack of room in the IT section? I didn't even know they separated the groups!

Congratulations, Sandra! I'm so happy for you and Nichelle. :)

This is a U-tube Video which I got from my Army Mom group. It's very touching. It didn't make me cry, but it is touching and helps us not to feel alone and to know that we all basically go through the same thing. I hope you enjoy it. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXDRuQH6Rhw

Oh, he does work in mysterious ways!! He's a miracle worker for sure! Sleep well, Colleen and have a good week! :)

God bless our Sailors and our country and all of you! Goodnight! :)

Chris has ordered his new card, but it will take at least a week or two for him to get both the card and the pin number. And he still has to find a way to get to Navy Federal to open an account there.

Just curious, did anyone else get the sense that the big fields in front of MCPON Hall are on their way to becoming an outdoor parade ground for summer/outdoor graduations? I don't know why, but I got that feeling.

There used to be four buildings there, classroom buildings, I think. They were removed when the classrooms were built into the barracks.

Slimsam, how is boot camp the second time around? Is it any easier?

Arwen, there is a Navy Fed off base across from the walmart. They can open one for him.

Slimsam, from what Shawn told me no. It's pretty much a here you go/congrats thing.

There is a graduation ceremony at the end of A-school, but nothing formal, nothing that would be interesting to a parent or spouse. Depending on how many graduate, it takes about 5-15 minutes and is usually held in the recreation room or an office, and generally consists of the CO and chiefs telling the students "congratulations, now get your asses to your new duty station." They may or may not hand out their new rank rate insignia for their dress uniforms. Sometimes it is sewn on before the ceremony itself, so nothing is given to the graduates.

Think middle-school "moving-on" ceremony (A-school grad), compared to a high school graduation (boot camp PIR).

Sarah, Chris knows where the NFCU is, he just can't get there. He isn't allowed to leave Corry Station without a "buddy" but no one wants to go with him, even though its only a few blocks.

He's working something out with Nichelle, I think, for this Saturday.

Some stories are too good not to share. Chris may kill me for sharing this one, but if he didn't want anyone to to know, he shouldn't tell his mother, a REPORTER.

It all started so innocently: the end of a school day (1830), and an announcement that "the following sailors will report to dental at 0730... (Chris' name was on the list.)

So far so good. Chris headed to chow, then to barracks. Looked at the clock and realizes its 7:15. His appointment was in 15 minutes? Yikes! So he took off to Dental.

Okay, so, who has spotted Mistake #1?

Chris arrived at Dental with moments to spare, entered the turnstile and THUD... it stopped, halfway through. Okay, he said to himself, try another door. Go back - THUD. The turnstyle is 1-way. It's locked so it can't go forward and back, and NO ONE was around!

So Chris was stuck in the turnstile, couldn't climb over, since it is covered, bars from bottom to top. At this point he realized Dental was closed, and that his appointment was in the morning. 0730. Not 7:30 pm. And that at 7:30 pm at the dental clinic, it's empty, and it's off the beaten path. And he was trapped. And he left his cell phone at the barracks.

There's no room to sit down, just enough room to stand. And stand. And stand.

Finally, at about 2000 the regular MA patrol just happens to drive by, and sees Chris. Once the MA1 figured out what is going on, he finally managed to stop laughing long enough to call in for someone with a key to another door. Chris was then subjected to this MA1's teasing and taunting (richly deserved) for the next half-hour, until the building maintenance person showed up to release the turnstile mechanism.

Chris has a bad history with doors. Now we can add turnstiles to the list of doors that have caused him grief.

Arwen~ That is a hoot! What a good sport he is.
Colleen~ Can you believe Ed like the structure of BC.

Too true! You know when you are getting "it" right. You definitely know when you have screwed up. lol.

I know Chris liked boot camp, he never had to make choices, and risk making the wrong ones. It is a comfortable place to be. I think they forget just how stressful it really is, and simply remember the lack of uncertainty. Everything was laid out for them, they just had to do it, no thinking required.

I see this with my Girl Scouts. I was a Scout Leader for a few years. When they're Daisies you tell them what to do and they're thrilled to do it. When they're Brownies you give them minor options to choose from. By Juniors (classic green-clad Scouts) they are supposed to start making many of the decisions themselves, and when they make Cadettes the adults are simply there to advise. As Seniors the adults are simply there to make the gathering legal and safe.

When they hit Juniors they kept looking to me, they didn't want to step forward. It scared them to make decisions. Some quit right then, the ones that stuck with it continued, and learned to make the decisions, work as a team and move on.

Many sailors run into the same thing. It's easy to not make decisions, to let others do it for you.

Okay, this is a more painful subject, but it came to mind when talking about sailors making decisions.

When I was in the Navy I was surprised how many sailors don't make it past 2 years, even after successfully completing A-school. I learned to recognize them early, there were two types.

The party-hardy folks who end up getting separated for "frat brother" type behavior, the same kind of behavior that gets college kids kicked out of school. Drinking, partying all night, sometimes even drug use. My cousin was one of those. When he discovered that Nuke school was more difficult and stressful than he thought it should be, alcohol and pot became more interesting than the Navy. The Navy was rudely interrupting his party life for not enough reward, so he made his choice.

The second group becomes a different subject entirely: the social misfits; young men who were bullied or shunned by their peers in school and think the uniform and status of a sailor (or soldier) will end that problem, that the uniform will suddenly make them popular. They get through boot camp and A school fine, but when they discover that they are just as taunted and socially abused in the Navy (sorry ladies, we like to think it ends after high school, but it doesn't) they tend to start making bad decisions and are separated.

I remember watching a young fireman apprentice in my division on my ship become horribly disillusioned as the other division members taunted and tortured him in cruel, hurtful ways. He cried, because it was "just like high school." He was separated a few months later after he just kind of "quit." Sadly, I doubt he made much of a go at life as a civilian, either.

That is sad:) Poor kid! Does anyone say anything, or do they just slip through the cracks?

At home Ed's buddies were a good mix. He knew that he had to keep his nose clean, because of wrestling and the Navy. He has seen up close the damage alcohol can do. In his 4 yrs of highschool two kids had commited suicide. I made it a point to make sure..as he would put it.."All is good."
I am verrrrry grateful he has BC buddies with him now. I will be talking to him and he will say," So-n-so says hi." A couple of the guys are planning to come home with Ed when they finally get some leave time. Manda keeps asking if they are cute. lol. Ed say, "How am I supposed to know?!?"

Bless are boys..and girls:))

The one kid that was teased and tortured, he was separated for being a person incompatible with Navy life. I forget the exact discharge code, but basically, he was unsuited for Navy life and the longer he was in the worse it got.

Someone should have seen that before he got past boot camp. He had serious self-esteem problems and a personality that simply isn't suited to the life. He needed a medical discharge and years of civilian therapy to become a functioning member of society.

Sadly he and many like him think the uniform and status of being a member of the military will fix his problems. It really isn't the Navy's fault, and for the safety of all, they need to discharge these guys so they can get the help they need.

Unfortunately, I've met a few of the parents of this kind of kid. They only see their sweet kid who has been hurt, and blame the Navy, never dealing with the root cause, never understanding what is wrong with the whole picture. I know two guys from high school who were this type, but thankfully didn't make the mistake of joining the military. One still lives in his parents' home, at age 40, with no job and no future, the other follows Renaissance Faires as a kind of medieval carnie.

We need prayers for this missing crew member.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100331/ap_on_re_us/us_navy_crash

I know Chris talked to Nichelle, he was telling me about her injuries. I don't know what exactly they worked out, because if Nichelle can't leave base yet, I don't know how they'd do this. Chris can leave base, but not alone (like everyone else).