Norfolk Sailors - Family & Friends

I'm on the internet on my phone, and it won't let me PM, but if you want to, I can get on yahoo and try to help as much as I can. My yahoo id is gijoezchick

BTW, shame on his sponsor for just leaving him there like that.

Hi diannep I know this is a hard time for you and I know how you feel. When my son first arrived he was put in temp housing he said he thought it was a hotel he was in a room by himself at first and he also pressed the issue of chow and getting a map to the area he was in because I have read here that your situation does happen alot. I would call him back ask if there is a front desk he may be able to ask questions there. Walk around the building he is in find another sailor and ask him or her if they can fill him in on what to do. The other thing is you can call his Recruiter tell him the situation and ask him if he can help or give you advice, our recuiter still checks in with my son and my son calls him when needed. It will get better my son got a roomie within a few days and it was a buddy from A school (lucky him) he made alot of friends fast and he is very happy there, so things will get better.

I hope I helped a little. What is the USS TR?

MissyMSailor: Thanks so much. Is your son connected to a ship? I don't think this is a hotel that my son is in. He didn't mention anything about a front desk. The USS TR is the Theordore Roosevelt which is in dry dock. That is why he is not living on the ship. He did walk over to the Nex to get some food and a girl there told him that by the ship where they work, there is food (I guess a galley). But she said on the weekend, you are on your own for food. I never met or talked to his recruiter (he joined in another city). My son left him a couple of messages over the past few months, but didn't get a call back. But he heard that he had been promoted and is no longer a recruiter, so that may be the reason why.
So you son lives on Norfolk base? That is what my son was hoping for.
Glad the yours is doing well! And hoping mine will soon. It's been a very tough day...for both of us...and he is worrying this mother's heart...

Steph: Thanks. I'm not on yahoo so can't do that. His fear and unhappiness right now is just breaking my heart...I know he is just scared. He is used to being with lots of buddies at A School, and now he is alone. He said that nothing around him is "Navy." That's because he is housed away from the ship, I'm sure. The sponsor was on duty and that is why he had to leave him. Maybe he will call him later. Luckily, my son connected with a buddy on the Norfolk base and they are hoping to go to the beach on Sunday. Thanks so much for trying to help! Is your sailor on the USS TR? I have found that site to not be active at all. In fact, I think mine may be the last post and it was in early April. I just don't know where to find the TR moms/wives/etc.

Thanks, KYMom: I willl do that.

Thanks, Justin's mom. He connected with a friend tonight who is at Portsmouth? I think that is what he said...
I'm sure my son doesn't know where the USO is but maybe he will find out next week. He also has no car right now...so that may prove to be a problem for him for a while.But thanks for the info! There is a Subway close by, but he was too afraid to go to it tonight.

Oh me, what our children have to go through, growing up and facing this real world. When I saw how they talked to them as they were catching the bus leaving for boot camp, I wanted to go and drag my grandson off the bus. I was so upset, but I smiled and waved bye to him.. It was horrible... I cried all the way home from the base and cried for weeks, lost my eye site and thought they were going to have to put me in a box. He called me from the Airport before taking his flight out assuring me he was okay, he kept saying MeeMaw, I'm okay now, it is going to be alright... I never thought anything thing about this was going to be alright. Here, my grand-daughter had sneaked away and joined, went to boot camp and was almost finished when she called her mom to tell her where she was. She had a 2 year old boy and we were so against her joining, her husband not responsible to raise the child, however she left the boy with him, but anyway, she had been in there exactly one year when my grandson graduated from boot camp. I was so close to my grandson, he had stayed with me much of his life and I could not stand the thoughts of him being mistreated and he had such a tender heart. I finally stopped crying, and I kid you not, I cried for 7 of the 8 weeks of his boot camp. I got sick, had to go to the doctor, caught cold, could not get over it and crying all the same time. Did not know if my nose was dripping from cold or crying. But finally got myself together and went to see him graduate...the most wonderful experience I ever had in my life...but when it was over and we could get to them and hug...here I went... I was actually crying out loud... he hugged me and hugged me and I finally pulled it together again. 3 days and then the goodbyes, cried all night driving home... and I am still crying... I hate my grandchildren being away.. I know and I am proud of them but I had just as soon they had no part of being away from home. Of course I had my oldest grandson finishing up his 2 years in the coast guards... I cried when he left...till I was sick.. I will never get use to them being away from home. I can call my two grandsons right now but when they get on the ship etc we do hear from them but not as much, it is according to where they are if they are allowed to make calls etc. But it has been a rough year... My husband tried to cheer me up with a huge birthday party with over 100 guest showed up.. I loved it and appreciated it but it still did not take the place of my grandchildren being gone... But my grand-daughter is stationed in Norfolk. She has living quarters off the base.. When she first went there she was kinda lost, for her ship had already left out for the middle east and they flew her all over into different countries getting her to her ship. Then she was with the ship about 5 months when they came back home. The Capt of the Ship or what ever he is called, sent out a letter to the parents telling them of all that they had done, their accomplishments etc and when they would be arriving back at Norfolk. They got back the last of Oct and my grandson that is in San Diego now, went with my daughter up to meet the ship, taking her little boy with them. It was exciting. He was able to actually go on her ship and see it all over etc. Because he has high grades he was one of the first to choose where he wanted to be stationed and he chose Norfolk and the same ship she is assigned to. They approved that but then he went back and put in for a package deal to have more school and extending his service time two more years, but a big increase in pay and bonus signing etc. He was waiting to hear if it had been approved. He will be finishing his A school the middle of june and will be home after that for 2 weeks... so he will either go back to San Diego for more school or go to -Norfolk and join my grand-daughter on the James E Williams Fighter ship. Now life must be good for the sailors, if we grandmothers can live through it.. Here I am 70 years old... will probably never live to see them all back home safely, but I am going to try...they just are enjoying it all while I sit here and worry... my grandson really has feelings for me and calls very often... I love my grandchildren... I wish I could afford the trip there without him having to pay my way... So you see,we are all kinda in the same boat... our kids are away, we worry about them, we cry for them and all the time, I guess they are growing up to be wonderful men and women....

Arlene: You sound like one very special grandmother! Oh my! I loved reading this post. How blessed your grandchildren are to have you in their lives...so involved, so loving....so proud. Thank you SO much for sharing this with us. And especially with me! I needed to read these words. You have every right to be so proud of your grandchildren, because their accomplishments are a large part due to YOU! If all of the grandparents in our world were like you, what a much better place we would be in. God Bless You, Arlene. May you live a long and wonderful life and continue to see the wonderful accomplishments of those military grandchildren! Have a wonderful weekend!

Diannep, Thank you so much for your kind words... This is what helps to make life worth living. God Bless you and you have a wonderful weekend... Arlene

CindyH, I am so sorry to hear this about your father and your grandson not being able to be here. I am just wondering if you contacted the Red Cross to get him home. I understood that Grandparents are not considered the immediate family but that if the sailor lets them know the relationship and closeness and their desires that their commander has the choice to let them come home or not. They assured me that if something happened to me that would get my grandson home. I feel so sorry for your son, I know this hurt him very much and it would have been better for him, if he could have come home. You know this has to be down time for him.. I will keep him in my prayers. My nephew who actually retired from service and is now contractor for them, assure me that they would get my grandson home...but it is really left up to the officer in charge at the time etc. But it is all through the red cross. They can helicopter them off the ship to a airbase to come right straight in... Well this breaks my heart for him... of course there was nothing he could do but sit and grieve with you but at lease he would not be by himself grieving. Of course we understand if they cannot get there but my children have been instructed to contact the Red Cross and if they cannot get him if something should happen he will have to live with that just as your son did....but in the meantime, I plan on making the best of every minute that I am alive. God is good to me and He will see us all through these lonely times. My prayers are with you as you are going through this loss of your father.. I lost mine 46 years ago and I still miss him.. The void will always be there. God Bless You is my prayer this day.

CindyH: Prayers are with you in the loss of your father. May your sadness be replaced with beautiful happy memories of him that bring a smile to your face. I will pray for your son too...that he will have sailors around him whom he can share with about his grandfather. After losing both my husband and then later, my brother, very suddenly....I know the importance in having people around to listen to the one who is greiving. May the Lord provide peace to your heart soon, Cindy. Please feel free to share about your dad on here anytime! Maybe a tribute to your dad and what he meant to you? It would be a great reminder to all of us to share our love today with those who matter so much to us. Please stay in touch here, ok? There are some great praying moms on Christian Chat too if you would like to post there and ask for prayers. Hang in there...grief takes time....

CindhH, that is wonderful, God is good and He is watching and hears our hearts cries. Wow, I am so happy for you....the best news I have heard in a while... My prayers will be with him as he makes the journey home.

If any of you mothers would like to join me on facebook please do so. I am Arlene Robinson Murrell. My address is arlenemurrell@att.net. also I noticed that they assigned like arlene.murrell so if you have trouble finding me, just email me at arlenemurrell@att.net. God bless you all... Will be glad to have you as my friend.

Another question, Ladies. My son just arrived in Newport News yesterday. He wants to buy a car up there. I have probably what sounds like a stupid question for you military-experienced moms/wives...do military personnel keep their driver's license address as the one in their home state (mine)? In other words, he doesn't change that, right? And if not, then does that mean he has to buy insurance down here (FL)? VERY expensive where we live. I was hoping for Norfolk rates which have to be cheaper. I have always heard that drivers license and insurance have to be in same state. True of the military too? He will be paying cash for this...money he has saved. Any car buying info for military personnel would be appreciated. He sold his car before bc and dropped his insurance. So any hints or suggestions are very welcome! I want him to slow down on getting a car until he has been there for a while, but he is just looking around anyway.
Thanks, Ladies!

Thanks, CindyH and KYMom. I wonder if registration in VA is more than in FL?

KY Mom: Did your son find USAA insurance prices better than other companies? I know they are for the military, but was just wondering.

Arlene, you sound like such a great grandmother. How long ago did your grand-daughter get to the James E Williams? My husband commissioned that ship. He was stationed on it until May of 2007.

Cindy, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope that the happiness of your son's homecoming will help heal both of your hearts some.

As far as getting your vehicle registered in Virginia, our registration is usually about $25 per year. You don't have to pay the personal property tax on it every year if you are military stationed here. You just have to give them a copy of your LES.

Oh, but make sure the car is ONLY registered in the service member's name. I remember we had to pay a tax on my car we had when we moved here the first time because my name was in the registration. I don't know if they have changed that though because there has recently been a thing that passed saying that military spouses no longer have to change their residency.

She was assigned to it in about May last year 2009. It was already over in the Arabian sea and they flew her to a lot of different countries and actually she said they let them go into the cities kinda like site seeing etc. but then finally to Somaya (I know that is not spelled right but the spelling just left me) but from there a helicopter to the ship. This was her first deployment and she said that she was scared to death. But she seems to love it now. They got back to Norfolk the last of October. She is now E4, Petty Officer. She was given some type of award the friday before mothers day and she was able to come home after that ceremony, but had to go back Sunday. She will come home on leave in June. She is trying to plan it so my grandson and she will be home the same time. He was able to choose where he wanted to go and he chose Norfolk and the same ship. After that he found out what he had to do to get more schooling etc so he filled out a package that extends his service 2 more years with lots more training etc. He graduated from boot came the day my grand-daughter celebrated her 1 year she left for boot camp. My other grandson went into the US Coast Guards in June the year before she went in. So June 2008. March 2009, Jan 2010 and another grandson is planning on joining the Army in June 2010 after he graduates from high school. I have got to learn to be strong...right now I am not... My grand-daughter is a engineer and she got certified to guide the helicopters on and off the ship. My oldest Coast Guard is Petty Officer too.. he has already been through B school now. My grandson that is in San Diego is E3 and will be E4 real soon. His grades are just really good. he went with my daughter to meet my grand-daughter when they came back from tour and he got to go through the ship and he loved it so when he had to choose a ship, he chose that one. So both of them will be on it but he may go on to school in San Diego again first.
When you say your husband commissioned the ship, please explain to me just what that means... I am so dumb about all this... Thanks..

My husband was part of the very first crew to ever serve aboard that ship. He will also be commissioning the ship he is on now. After a new ship is finished being built, it has to be commissioned before it can go out and be part of the fleet. They have a big ceremony, and that is when it goes from being PCU (Pre-Commission Unit) James E Williams to USS James E Williams. All of the people in the crew at the time of commissioning are called Plank owners. It's kind of cool because once the ship is de-commissioned, or taken out of service, they can get a piece of it to keep. Not many people do go get their piece of the ship, but I still think it's kind of neat. It dates back to when the ships were made of wood, and the plank owners would be given one of the planks the ship was built out of when it was de-commissioned and taken apart.

Thanks Steph, that is so interesting. So I am figuring that your husband is making a career of the Navy. That is what my Curtis plans on doing... and oh i miss him so much. He has met a girl there in San Diego and he told my son that when he come home in June that she is waiting a couple of days and is come to Georgia too. She is from Texas, don't know anything about her background or family but she sent me a very sweet little note on facebook. We will see. They have not known each other but a few weeks now but they are crazy about each other... Thanks again, learning something more every day.

Theresa: No, there is no tax on cars in FL. My son bought a car today in Va Beach. He is keeping the registration in FL. Keeping his FL license. Thanks, Sandy, for that info. He is a bit overwhelmed and discouraged. He had a wonderful friend with him today during the car negotiations...a Godsend. But he is still scared, doesn't know his way around the area (of course not...he has been there for 24 hours) and is still scared of the area he is housed in. His wonderful friend (stationed in Portsmouth) is coming back in the morning to drive around with him so he can start learning his way. Bless his heart! He must have the patience of Job! He and this friend (both new arrivals) are wondering if they can get a place off-base together? Does anyone know when they are allowed to live off-base? There is a girl they are friends with who wants to join them if they can find a place with 3 bedrooms that they can afford. They mentione the Cheasapeake area. Anyone familiar with that? How long would it take my son to get to Newport News from there? Traffic? The girl is based in Richmond. That sounds like quite a drive for her. Just wondering. Thanks for any info, and sorry to be so inquisitive. But it is so hard to have my son on the phone and hear him so discouraged. I figure if I can feed him info from the moms/wives on here, it will help him to settle down. Thanks, everyone. Oh, and from VA Beach, how long would that commute be to Newport News?

Is it possible to overnight a check to my son? He has no address yet that he is aware of. Not living on Norfolk base, but would that be where his address would be? Connected to the USS TR. It is so frustrating that he is getting no info where he is. There is no one in authority where he is living and he has so many questions. He has to have this check before Wed for a car purchase. Thanks for any info! I'm looking into wiring the money into his account from down here too.

My son has been on the Norfolk base since 4/29 and srill can not find any one who knows his address so he can get mail. He forgot things here that he needs so he was going to push some more to find out. I know we can call then but still it would be nice to be able to send cards or care packages,

MissMySailor, what command is your son at? If he is on a ship, the address might be on the ship's website. If he is stationed on the base, and living in the BEQ, he may still need to have his mail sent to his command. I'm not sure if they have mail slots at the BEQ or not. He can ask at the front desk or his command's admin office.

He will be on the USS Jason Dunham DDG 109 when it arrives but I will paas the info to him to see if it helps him. I just sent hime a text with your info. He was filling in on the USS Truxton and now he will be in school for a while until his ship arrives. I know he did mention he is living across from chow. He is there with 6 of his buddy's from A school in GL I can not beleive between them all they get no where unless they are too shy??? Thanks again for the info Steph I sent it to him.

Thanks, KYMom: But this is HIS money in his account down here. I was going to wire from his account (not a bank...but a brokerage firm) to his Navy Thank goodness I have a POA on him...he fought me on that. But I'm thinking now that I should go to the downtown Miami Navy Fed tomorrow with a his check from this financial institution and deposit it into his Navy checking account (what he wants me to do). He wants to pay the balance on his car with his debit card then. Is there a limit to how much they can pay by debit card, or is it all dependent on how much is in the account? He is paying cash for this car, so to me, it is an unusually large amount for a debit. Maybe I'm just naive....

Thanks, Nancy. Good advice on the housing. I am not for this and told him so. There are 3 of them looking for a place together, and all are new arrivals. I think they are jumping the gun too. I don't think they will sign anything...they are just seeing what's out there. At least, I hope so! I think this is way too early to do this. I will pass on your info about checking with his ship to see what they offer single sailors. Thanks!

Nancy, when you say on base for the PO Box, you mean Norfolk base, right? So they would have to drive over there for their mail from Newport News? How far of a drive is it from the ship? Now that my son has a car, that may be doable.

That ship does have a website (http://www.jason-dunham.navy.mil/default.aspx), but I couldn't find mailing addresses on it. My husband said that there are some people from the Dunham that work in the same building as his ship's detachment. I can get him to ask the guys there what the mailing address is if you want.

Thanks, Nancy. I guess he will figure this out once he reports to work tomorrow.

Thanks, KYMom on the debit card info. You can tell I don't use mine much!

Thanks, Nancy. I will tell him about the post office. I'm assuming that it is right there where they are working.

Thank you too, Theresa. This is all a bit overwhelming in the beginning. I would imagine being on a base is a bit more structured! Does anyone know where the "free" ATM's are for Navy Fed in that area? He was running up fees in A School. Silly

My son will be out to sea for his birthday and I thought at some point I had read something about a cake service, any information on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Theresa. Yes, he said there is an ATM there. He had his first day of "indoc" today. Also got a roomate that he knew from A School. The police talked to the new guys today about how bad the area is they are in...said never to walk alone out there and certainly not at night. They shoot at Navy personnel! My son is freaked out. He seems to be dealing ok, but that part really made him scared. They said that the Navy duty van (transports them to where they work) was shot at. They said they have cleaned the crime up some...moved alot of the crime further west...but still have problems. His car that he just bought will be secure in a garage they let him park in...told him not to worry about it there. But what about when he parks it there at night after being out, and has to walk a block back to his room? Oh boy. Yes, he feels bad being at a shipyard too and is very discouraged. He said he can't wait to be done with this Navy stuff, and he had never talked that way before. They also told them that those connected to a dry dock ship have a chance of being sent to Afghanistan. So it has NOT been a good day for him, although he seems to be making the best of it. He seems much better than he was 3 nights ago, so that's good.

Thanks, Theresa, for your offers. Very sweet of you. So sad that Newport News is no longer nice like it was before. He drove by VA Beach on Sunday. I didn't realize Busch Gardens was so close by too. I had heard about the free one-time pass! Thing is....he hates rollercoasters! :-)

Thanks for the Busch Gardens info, AlwaysReady. I will pass that on to my son as that sounds like fun! And the "free" part is wonderful!

Thanks so much, Shannon. He actually is not living on "the ship" as it is dry docked for the next 2-3 yrs. So he is in temp housing. And, yes, he is upset with the area he is in. To be dropped off by his sponsor from the airport and told, "Now, don't go outside becaue it isn't safe" scared him to death. He has adjusted much better now, and has a car now (bought it on Sat.) THAT has been a godsend since he can now get into better places. He mentioned to me that he found nice parts of Newport News. It's a shame that they are in the temp housing where they are...they had the police come talk to the "newbies" yesterday at indoc. They told them do NOT go out alone...ever. You will be shot at. They aim for Navy personnel. The girl who drives the duty van got shot out. That 7-eleven right there was just robbed recently. There is lots of gang activity here. Do NOT go over the bridge either. (by this time, I'm sure he was major freakout!). He feels very secure in the Navy "compound" that they are in and he is able to park his car in a secured garage where it is protected. But the problem is...he has to walk 2 blocks from that garage to his building. So he will have to have someone with him. The police said that they have managed to move some of the crime "west". But told them that prostitutes used to hang out right where their building is. Oh JOY!
He asked a Chief there about living off base. He was told that no housing allowawnce would be given at his rank (like you said), plus he would not be allowed to a do it anyway. He's an E-3 but was not told what you said...that with roommates, he can do it (he had 2 lined up who wanted to join him). So maybe the rules have changed? Personally, I wish he COULD live off base in a better area.

He found an A School buddy at Portsmouth, so they toured over the weekend....Virginia Beach, etc. So he has seen the nicer areas and knows they are there. Theresa had told me about Busch Gardens, which I passed along to him...sounds like fun!
He is very discouraged right now (but getting better!), but has only been there 4 days. I truly think if he weren't in such a bad area, he would be ok. It's a shame that they can't clean it up more. I think our navy people deserve better than that....

I know he will look forward to going with the TR on its first cruise after renovations. IF he is still connected to her. They were told that many dry docked personnel are being sent to Afghanistan. Uh oh....

Thanks so much, Shannon, for all of the info! Good luck to your sailors too!

Julie, what is IA? Yes, my son told me about Afghanistan....freaked him out! He is still in INDOC. Just started on Monday. I had read about them being assigned to other ships too. He is not a happy camper at this moment...mainly on the neighborhood situation. I sure wish they had more security for our guys when they arrive and leave their compound area. I'm glad you found a nice neighborhood and hope you find some other kids close by for your children to play with!
Thanks, for the info, Julie. Good luck to your husband! What is his rate? MIne is a YN.

KY MOM: Well, I Iearned something yesterday. There IS a limit on the amount you can use your debit card for...at least at a car dealership...even if the money is in there. The car dealer will only accept $5,000 on the debit. So my son has to go to the bank up there and get a check from them, since he was issued no checks when he opened his Navy account. Seems crazy to me that the debit card wouldn't be enough, but I guess with all of the fraud going on with debit cards (and overdraft available), the dealerships don't want to get STUCK.

Thanks, Nancy. He said they cannot get mail for the first two weeks. (indoc)...I guess he'll figure it out after that.

KYMom: Yes, that would make sense. My late husband was a small business owner and he talked about the 3 percent he had to pay on transactions. But I just got a text from my son that the car is now paid for and all is well!

Thank-you for the information on the birthday cake website, just one more question, I am wondering since he is only on an underway do they still deliver, or is it only on deployments?

Alyce, when do you need to know by? My son has a storage unit, but is at sea now. He lives in Chesapeake, not sure where the unit is though.

They usually have things on the base like the bowling alley, the base movie theater, and the base club. The ITT office usually has tickets to the water park and other places for less than what you pay at the park.

Navy Mom in MA: Oh boy, do I know your pain! I was on this site just a mere 10 days ago because my sailor had just arrived there (single), was dropped off in his room in Newport News, and left. I had never heard him so discouraged when he called. It was getting dark, he was alone (no roommate then) and saw no one. He was told NOT to go outside at night by himself. because it was very unsafe I know he was fearful but moreso lonely. These moms were so wonderful, some even offering to go pick him up to take him for a burger or something! I was so touched. I got off the phone with him and cried! This is his 1st duty station...and this was the first negatvie he had felt about the Navy. I just prayed and called friends to pray...and a couple prayed just for ONE friend to reach him. He had several up in that area from A School. Two hours later, he reached one of his favorite friends, on a base nearby and he came over! I was SO RELIEVED! He spent the weekend doing things with him. Without this guy, my sailor would have been alone for the weekend in the shipyard, knowing no one. His ship is dry docked. Is yours on Norfolk? I agree with you...he just needs ONE friend and that will multiply. Mine has now reconnected with several more friends from A School and is actually enjoying himself alot more. I know it will be the same for your sailor. Keep encouraging him...it is tough on us moms to hear this, isn't it? I'm going to keep your sailor in my prayers...that he will connect with someone soon that will lead to others. Hang in there...

what ship is your son on? Mine just left last monday and will be back this week-end He is on the kersarge. He is a HSN 22 squadron. I think that is how it is spelled. This navy lingo is something.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful day.
Tammy

DCT MOM- your son must be one of the ones that goes with the Bush :) That's what my husband's on and they're on the same schedule

The MWR (morale, welfare, and recreation) on the base (Norfolk and its shipyard) has A LOT for single sailors to do. I highly recommend getting involved for those guys/girls. Just tell them to ask where the local MWR is or check out http://www.discovermwr.com/discovermagazine/Discover_p12.html

Navy Mom in MA: I have no doubt that in C School, he will make new friends. I'm sure they are all in the same situation there...old friends have moved on. I think one thing our sailors have to learn relatively quickly is how to make new friends alot, while keeping in touch with old. With all of the moving around that they do, this will be a habit that will work much to their advantage. So glad that you got to visit your son! I'm hoping to get up there to see mine maybe in the Fall. A long way from South FL! Please keep posting on how he is doing, ok?