Dads on Moms.....com

West Virginia marching band?? Geez! Thought I saw enough of them this Saturday.

FTLW...it's a mutual admiration society!

C-dad (I am stealing FTLW's abbreviation)...Ah...teams aren't performing as we had hoped.  Trojans didn't look that good although they did win.  On a brighter note, the Oregon State Beavers have been a pleasant surprise!

My pardon B...I have not actually been in the DF for a while. I just changed the settings but did not go in. :-(

I would have loved to have read it.

Bunker, I don't recall reading your post (I guess I should and that's a part of the problem, but most of the time, the format here totally throws me where I don't know whether I'm supposed to be going back a page or forward and read bottom to top or vice a versa.

Sorry to hear you're miffed. I guess I can add you to the getting longer list of people who are miffed at me around here.

For what it's worth, I have been trying not to hog up the pages around here in hopes someone else might start a thread.

I knew it! It's all Jack's fault for not noticing. Now I'm miffed at this group as well! All liberty suspended!

I'm sorry Bunker I missed the comment too!  Like Jack I went back to look for it and can't find it.  Someone is alway miffed at me, if not my husband or one of my kids it's someone at work.

If you get a chance Bunker please repost, I would love to read what you have to say.

meh....that's not such a good story........OK, just kidding. I don't come from a military background, but I love studying the history. We went this summer to see a War of 1812 battle. Very cool stuff.

Bunker, it's families like yours that motivates my son. Thank you.

well we didn't see a battle. We saw a battlefield and fort. Just to be clear. It's not like we started a war or anything. Although I am very capable.

QB,

You have a really sharp looking group of men.  You must be very proud.  My wife's uncle did not come back from war, and my own uncles would not talk about it. They simply said never go to war.

I am so proud of my sailor, and yes he did take some time after arriving at Pensacola before he started to communicate with us more regularly.  I do think that it is a mind set that they go through.  I myself moved out on my own after high school and went to college, and fought to be independent holding two jobs and going to school. 

Finally my grandmother talked me into moving in with her until I graduated.  It was the best thing for me, but it was a tough pill to swallow.  I really valued being independant.

I really hope that all this works out for this young man also.  It is a really hard time in a young man's life.

Dan.

BQB,

I am not a Navy dad.  I am a Navy mom and I am now at a point where the separation between my son and me is very real.For the first time in his life he is really on his own. Oh his has lived and worked away from home, but not far.  We joked that he was always within matzo ball soup distance if he was sick. Now...that is not the case. I do not doubt for a minute that he loves me and that he knows I love him unconditionally. I am a single mom and a daughter of a single mom so male role models weren't easy to come by. I won't go into any details but I finally feel that he is on his own and he is coming to grips with his choices.  He has completed his training for now and is at his first duty station. He is 23.  We are not communicating very much. He has spoken in anger recently and I hear what he wants...to have his own space and live his life.  I don't know if he will come home for any holidays.  All I know right now is that he is working, working out and that his room mate is a guy who has been with him through boot camp, A school and FMTB.  So...he has a friend. 

As to male role models...there are his two great uncles. One of whom was in WWII in the Navy and the other was in the Army at that time. They never wanted to talk about the war, although his Navy great uncle shared some photos with me (not long before he died) he had taken at Iwo Jima.  His cousin, my nephew, is the one who just made Lt. Col. He is the CRNA and I know he has inspired my son.

I am proud of my son and my daughter and vowed that I would always support them, 'though their choices are very different from mine.  My son's choice to join the Navy terrified me, quite frankly.  It still does.  But that is my issue, not his.  Right now, I am giving him the space he desires. I have a lot of patients who are vets and war is not something any of them recommend, although one of them, a Marine Viet Nam War Vet, credits his 'devil doc' for saving his life and thanked me for my son's service!

Not sure if this is a part of the thread or what you asked.  I was really impressed with your photos and family history.

Bunker, OK, I'm trying to bounce back and forth between posts and I feel I'm missing something. Is this 25 year old young man your son we're talking about? Sorry, but again this reading from bottom to top stuff keeps me confused.

If so and your asking me, well I'm still trying hard not to be the helicopter parent. I have gone from advising my kids to sending them poignant articles I read on the internet and hope they get the message. More likely, they smirk and delete them without reading.

If you're asking me then, I think he needs some space, but then a reminder from time to time you're there and a note to let him know you are always proud of him and there if he needs you. I don't know that I agree with the "leave him alone as he's an adult now" theory. We're all adults and we all need support from someone. And going the route of making everyone proud and then feeling as if you've failed has got to be tough on anyone. Leaving him to find his own way often leads him to the wrong sort of support. I guess there's a fine line between being supportive and a enabler, but he obviously needs a guiding light right now. It would be better if it's not a family member who provides it. However, desperate times....

bunker, I just re-read your post and noticed I didn't really answer your question. So, to be more specific, I would tell him...

"Son, We are very proud that you have attempted to take on tasks that few can achieve. Just the fact that you reach high is a testament to your character. Many take the easy route and settle, however you want more from your life and having that desire makes me feel confident that you will one day find the path that is right for you. You need to know that your mother and I are, and will always be, there for you, but now is the time you must be introspective and move on to a new challenge. Don't ever be afraid to fail. Life is about the ups and downs. Everything happens for a reason, and now is the time to set your sights on a new goal."

Well! That WAS confusing! Perhaps in future questions, you should preface us with a bit of background information. You made me use up all of my fatherly advice for nothing! To think, now my speech writers are busy with the vice-presidential debate today so I have little to offer.

How weird that two psychologist/family therapists are asking you to advise their son. That's like Dear Abby writing to Heloise for advice.

Well Heloise, here's my suggestion for now. I would tell your ex classmate that you don't feel comfortable giving advice to a young man you know little about. Just as she would not offer council without first sitting down with a family, neither should you. You might want to mention to her how the military seemed to give your sons direction and PERHAPS this might be something her son could look into. At the very least, it would take his life's decision making out of his hands for the short term.

It would be awfully tough for you to start giving this 25 year old man parental advice.

Speaking of advice though, perhaps you can tell me how you sufficiently explain financial saving to my currently visiting daughter who between she and her fiance' are making way too much money for their own good. Kids with newfound money is just great for Obama's economy, but scary to a parent trying to explain about unexpected emergencies and potential corporate layoffs. Come to think of it, I guess I'm not any better than the family therapist parents I guess.

HAHAHA. Thanks for nothing. Tell your daughter and sil to buy a house. No house, no mortgage deduction. With low interest rates, they should do that. However, if you read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" the author recommends buying your investment properties FIRST, then the owner-occupied property later in life.

Buying a house is a suckers game. Once upon a time, home values increased, but in today's real estate market (unless you happen to live in one of those areas that actually hold their value like on the moon), the numbers just don't work. I have a house that is fully paid for and yet it still costs me more to live here than if I were in a luxury apartment. My house isn't increasing in value, so the only benefit is I can play my TV loud if I want, but my neighbor is still going to get on me for not fixing my fence.

Of course on the other hand, once Obama's self created inflation takes hold within the next 18 months or so, owning tangible goods for long term is probably the way to go. I predict high gas prices and high everything else that goes along with it, which is pretty much everything.

Very true. The real estate game luckily has done wonders for us. But you do have to look into that crystal ball and determine if the values are going up at all. Then you might suggest buying an investment property, then all those potential renters can help your daughter pay off her mortgage, then sometime down the line, it'll be all income.

:How weird that two psychologist/family therapists are asking you to advise their son." answer this some of best therapists cant handle their own kids and need others to help them. dear abby

we have to hope he contacts someone,we can only try to do so much for someone who is hurting inside. dear abby

This group is dead! We need some controversy! We need some debating! We need someone to put out a sex tape!

I'm actually right there with ya'

I have to make a sex tape if I plan to run for office.

I would love to see a fact scroll rolling along the bottom of the screen as we watch these debates. Many of the statements made are merely partially true, but the average voter takes it as gospel. Of course, the average voter believes everything they read on the internet.

If you'd like to see who you really side withn politically, take this survey.

http://www.isidewith.com/ 

I quit voting when all the stuff was going on in Florida about the voting I said we will never have the true vote again.it is a show I don't want to watch.....dear abby

Well, in truth, the Electoral College decides anyway, and with a two party system, a Libertarian will never get in office. As much as I disagreed with Ross Perot when he ran, he had the proper answers. It's just that Congress would never have approved it, And the public would have never gone along with it.

So true!  I just wish there was a button on my tv to turn off all the ads.  Same with on facebook.  I'm getting tired of listening to all the BS!

Having a son or daughter in the Navy makes it so much more important for you to vote for the candidate who isn't pushing for a heavily reduced military.

Fun video.

For those of you old enough to remember the Ventures (Walk, Don't Run), a rock 'n roll group from '50s and '60s. Their original 17 year old drummer who left after 8 months and went into the Air Force ... now a four star General. A reunion with the General on the drums. 

http://www.stumptownblogger.com/2012/04/what-a-cool-video.html?

If you don't remember, ask your parents.

Well, I'm late to the party..as usual :-)

Bea, wonderful story and LOVE the pics. I can see why your sons were inspired. Thank you for sharing that.

It's...what's a good word...interesting to see a few say how their loved ones didn't talk much about their experiences. My father was a Lt. CMDR in the Navy and his ship was sunk. POW for three years in the Phillipines. He did not talk about that much. I don't blame him. The little he did I could see was very painful. 

On a lighter note...I remember eating "sea rats" when I was little...very vividly...the olive green cans with their bold black writing. The very salty cheese (which they STILL make for MRE's LOL), peanut butter and the hard crackers. He also liked to cook HUGE batches of Chili and Navy Bean Soup...only way he could from his Navy experience of cooking. I am an only child so it went a loooong way!

My husband says that if he has to watch the SAME commercials all Football season he is, "...gong to loose my mind!" Especially that certain one with the car that starts with a P.

"Okay, I'll BUY the car...just STOP singing that song!"

FTLW....LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drama - I STILL have to get that book! I saw some interesting things yesterday. A "safety" when the ball was kicked out of bounds and a "throwin it away"...to avoid an intentional grounding...don't ask me to explain the details...I'll get it wrong LOL.

I still ask stupid questions like, "I wonder if the Bengal Tigers LIKE their uniforms?"...and "WHY would the Lions have Baby Blue on their uniform?"

Bless my husband for thinking I am cute :-)

FTLW....I like your responses!! Although maybe the blue goes with the Lions' baby blue eyes? And watch out...colors change.  The Seahawks colors don't look like they did when the team was first started  I learned the new overtime rule (thank you Jets and Patriots).  See...just when you THINK you know the rules...they change them!!!

Just like the Military ...

Soooo True!!

FTLW.... I've heard of gas engines, hybrids and electric.  Never before have I heard of a car that starts with P.  You might be on to something.

You big silly....

Thanks for the laughs tonight! I needed them.

You too... and me too!

No, no Jack...it was supposed to be "ur-ine to something".

I need to go to bed...

Ha,ha,ha,ha,hee,hee, snort, snort...chuckle, chuckle!

There's always a funnel!