Christina...I was the same way with my son.  Fortunately, by the time he got sent to the sandbox, he was married and I had become very close to my daughter-in-law, so I got all the important news.  Hopefully, this experience will help both of you realize what is REALLY important.  Is there anyone he is close to...Dad, sister or brother, best friend...who can keep you updated with news?  If so, use them so you don't feel quite so lost.  In the meantime, write letters and send care packages.  Also, hang out in this group and TALK to us.  We have all kinds of things you can do so you don't dwell on where he is and what he might be going through.  If you want, feel free to add me to your friends list and we can talk about it more in depth, in private.  Meanwhile, hold on tight...you are starting out on a wild and sometimes scary ride, but in the end, I hope you will be able to look back on everything and say it was "good". 

Christina, your son loves you. My son loves me. But he was not one to call with good night wishes, or any of that. When he turned to walk away from us at the airport departures, he became his professional self. He called occasionally, he emailed some, but he had become an adult, a military professional, and kinda felt it was time for his mom to know that. It's what they do, it's called growing up! It doesn't stop us from being moms, and we all know that moms are the biggest control freaks in the world. I'm not saying that to be insulting because I'm really speaking about myself. But these steps of boot camp, A School, etc...each one makes your son more of an adult with adult responsiblities. He's your son, but only when he's at home will he act like it.I will say that my son's deployment made him so much more gentle and concerned about me, he started telling me he loves me at the end of every phone call. Still does. I don't ask why, I just like it!

Altho my son deployed only once to Iraq, we said our goodbyes twice. He left at Christmas expecting it leave, deployment was delayed until March and he drove his car home for 10 days. That last time, his dad just lost it at the airport and when he went to the car, I looked up at my son and altho I was breaking inside, I didn't cry. I could see his eyes twinkle, because I'm sure he was relieved. And he said," I'm coming home, Mom, I'm not going to die over there. Got it? I'm coming home." And I said "good thing, cuz you know I'd have to kick your ass..." and he smiled and hugged me and turned and walked away. I made to the car, drove around the corner, pulled over and broke down. I woke up this morning hearing his words, don't know why. My son is out of the Navy, safe in his home in San Antonio. Maybe for you, Christina....hang on to those words. Those young heros and heroines have faith and trust in each other to bring each other home. They are well trained, they have commanders whose main goal is to bring each one of our children home from those deployments.

And like MT says, come here. Talk to us, you are not alone. This group of women and some men have been there. We know fear. We know sleepless nights, we know melting down in the Walmart when  you're looking at the bacon, we know laughing hysterically when we get that phone call with the strange number on the phone. Start a list by the phone, of topics to share. Things about the neighbors, the local football scores, the dog next door....take photos, real photos, have them printed out and put them in a cheap album, small enough for him to carry in his pocket. My son still has his, his girlfriend tells me he keeps it close. Start those packages going....you are not alone. Say those words "I am not alone."

A Soldier Comes Home  is a book that I heard about last night from a mutual friend of the author's...just thought you might have some one who could use it. It's a children's book, trying to explain the impossible to kids.

Hi, wamom...welcome to the group no one wants to join....and we get new recruits every 7 or 8 months...as others return home.

Read over some of the posts, ask any questions you want...just remember, as we all do, to not mention names, dates of arrivals/departures, or specific locations about your son's unit. Other than that, no holds barred.

Main thing to remember, is that you are not alone, someone will drop by here pretty often when we're needed or you need something.

Well, getting close to my son's return.  It cannot come soon enough.  What a roller coaster ride of emotions these past 8 months.  To Wamom, you will have good days and bad days.  Cry if needed and always remember those Marines love their Corpsman and will do ALL they can to keep him safe. My son is also a Corpsman getting ready to return soon.  I lost many a nights sleep and cried bucket full of tears.  Be proud of your son and what he is doing and remember to stay busy and try not to listen to much to the news.  Send lots of goodies as my son said they only got mre's where he was.  LOTS of baby wipes, chapstick, protein powder or bars, packets of tuna, beef jerkey, canned fruits and dried fruit.  I always sent enough for him to share with the unit.  This time of year will be very hot, so packets of gatordade or propell would be great for him.  Hang in there.  This site is amazing.  You are not alone.

Corpsman Receives Silver Star

Congrats to Doc Angell (what a great name for a corpsman!) and his Marines. Love his comment about what this award means to him...

Alot has happened since I've been on here a couple weeks ago or a week ago.  I work two jobs and have been working 60 hours a week so I've been so tired lately not much time to get on here.  I've missed everyone.  My son needed me to sell his car while he was over there right now and decided he wanted us to go pick out a jeep for him so his wife did that.  He has a brand new jeep waiting for him when he gets back and the dealership paid his car off in full so I guess that is his way of keeping focused on homecoming and better days to come.   He has been face book messaging me and sending notes telling me he hasn't forgotten me.  Made me feel good because he's newly married and I know I have a new role.  It's not new to me since he is the youngest of five and the last to marry so I've been through it before but not with the military life and deployment.  Me and her have become a pretty good team.  Our Family Readiness Group has kept us well informed and I've been so pleased with the communication they have extended to us.  We just purchased T Shirts they made that said "We love our Seabees".   My daughter was so excited to get online and find her brother on there too both my daughters have gotten to experience that and they were so excited to chat with their brother.  I know it had to help him too.   The selling of his car kinda hit me hard.  I had a huge melt down because we lost the power of attorney and so his name didn't get on the jeep and I was having a hectic day at work and felt like it was devastating to me that his name wasn't on his own jeep.  But then after I cried and talked to my kids I realized I did all I could.  Then I found the power of attorney and thought "why did this happen"  "why couldn't I find it when I looked so hard".  Oh well, it's not the end of the world.  I just felt something inside going on that day so bad that I went and got my presciption refilled right after work and took it.    I don't know what that doctor prescribed for me but it works.  It something I don't have to take daily, only when I need it and it calms me.   I'm sure it's some sort of anti depressant but I don't like taking those unless I need it and he found one that works.    So...I don't tell my son that these things happen and that it calls for meds to get me through but it doesn't need shared.  Now if I see when he comes back that he's like that and he needs help then I can share that sometimes we all need a little help but until that day...no need.  I just thank God and the Doctor.  For the most part, working hard seems to be getting us all through.  In a month I think it will be half behind us and that is good news to us.   

Just got my Mothers Day call from my son.  He sounded so close he sounded like he was in the next room.  My day couldn't get any better but I have four more kids and I think it's about to even get better if that is possible.   Also my son finally got his camera working and took some pics and labeled some of them.  TexasDocmom, I know you know all security guidelines.  Am I able to say the last names and ask if any moms know them to private message me the email addresses and I can send them a picture in an email.  Is that ok or not.  I'm not sure so I wanted to ask you because I know you will know.  I'm thinking I can't but I know the moms would love them if I could.

I mean, I'm thinking that it's not ok.  Let me know and for all moms....Happy Mothers Day.  If you are like me...it's one thing that I can say I am and be totally happy that I am one.  I heard that if  you like your job, it never seems like work because it's enjoyable.  I can say that being a mom is a joy and it's been the most fulfilling thing I've accomplished in my life is raising my kids.

Ktssong, I'm so GLAD you got a Mother's Day call!!  It's my wish and prayer for every single one of you! Happy Mother's Day to the toughest mothers I know.  I am so very proud and honored to know each of you.  We raised heroes, everyone of us. I was thinking this morning how very proud my mother would be of my son and daughter, and how proud she would be of me for raising that young man who stepped up to serve his country in a time of war. Be proud of yourselves on this Mother's Day, you are very special women.

Ktssong, I  say no last names, ever, on NavyForMoms. Too easy to connect people here on N4M to those deployed sailors. I would think there are those on THIS group board who know or suspect their son/daughter is serving with your son and they should message you privately to double check. When your son is safely home, post a couple of the photos so we all can see!

Malamama...Happy Mother's Day!

Over the years of my son's enlistment, when he came home on leave, it was to a certain small group of the old friends. One is a St Ed University grad who was going to school while my son was enlisted, but he was the one who met him every time at the plane, sat at the bed playing video games while my son slept ("just keepin an eye on him" he'd say) and who dropped by to check on us while my son was gone. Over all, the friends from high school were pretty much out grown....my son's friends are those with whom he served and that small core of the old ones from high school. Your son is with the guys he wants to hang with right now...granted, they would probably prefer to not be in a war zone! but if his buddies are in that war zone, that's where your son now feels he belongs. He's a trained military professional serving with others, living a life those civilian friends, for the most part, would not, COULD not function. That's why our kids are so special....their moms raised heroes.

By the  way, my son will be best man in his St Ed buddy's wedding in June in southern California....where his buddy is pursuing an acting career (and doing well at it!).

Your kid is where he wants to be, but I can sure understand that you miss all those kids and the times with your son! Hope you get that call!!

I received a call also from my daughter, it was a complete surprise,but she couldn't have picked a better day to call lifted my spirits just to hear her voice on Mother's Day

Thank you TexasDocMom.  I knew you would know the answer.  That's good advice

Also, Susan, what does fob stand for  F for ? ob Off Base?  Sorry.  It's probably funny to those of  you who know all the terms to hear simple questions but I'm ljust learning. 

Just thought I would let everyone know my son is just a few days away from landing in the US.   I am so excited.  It has been a long 8 months and so happy it is over.  I can go back to sleeping an entire night and not crying so much.  Thank you all for all your support.

Happy Daze, Happy Dance!! congrats Djones!! Hug that sailor for us!!

TexasDocMom, I wish I could hug him, but his gf will have to do that for us.  I am trying to get him, his gf, my daughter and her bf out here in Aug so we can all be together.  I will hug him to death then.  His gf says he is not feeling very joyous about the homecoming as he is having survivors guilt pretty bad right now from losing a very close friend.  I hope it doesn't last long.  Iknow it will be  readjustment for him and all who return and will probably take a few months to get back into a routine.  Just so happy he is out of that country.  

I wish ALL of our son's/daughters/husbands/wives/friends would come home now.  They will be in my thoughts every day until everyone of them is back on American soil.  They are ALL heroes to me.  What they sacrifice is amazing.  We have been with the military for 30 yrs. and I can honestly say I am proud of everyone who serves.  My husband has 2yrs left and I am proud to actually be a veteran also.  There is a very special place in my heart for all military.

Your family has certainly done its share DJones....Bless them all and all of you who love them who serve right along with them.

He'll have a boost when he comes home, just getting away and the joy of his loved ones and all of those at the homecoming. By August,  perhaps you'll be able to tell if he is "okay"...and if he's getting the help he needs to get past that time and the loss of his friend (and probably other friends as well) and the hell of a war zone. Please take a look at the web sites above, maybe send any that might reach you to your sons GF. Sometimes it takes time for PTS to manifest it self. Get him help, get the rest of you help with secondary PTS.

When my son procrastinated about reenlisting and got transferred out of his Marine unit, after being offered the lead corpsman slot...they were sent to Afghanistan. I know it tore his guts out to not be there (and gave him a glimpse of what we go through) with his buddies and when they lost Marines, I think survivors guilt was there in some level. Still is. I don't know if that goes away totally. I am just so happy we have homecomings right now!

And I know that means new moms are coming here to read these pages. Welcome to the group no one wants to join. But we're all here, and every few months we have a new group of mom vets that reach out to help those newbies coming in. You are not alone.

So....still waiting to hear when my son will be land in Cali.  Stupid AF air show has pushed the flight back at least 12 hours.  We have been trying for a day to call the poc and no one answers.  My poor son's gf, booked a hotel for tonight and because she could not get an answer from anyone on when my son is due in, lost $110.  That's a lot of money for a 21 year old college student.  Why have a POC if no one answers or returns your calls.  So.....still waiting for my son.  They must be so tired.  I just want him home already.

Djjones...When my son was leaving, everyone had packed what they were bringing home and given or thrown away the other stuff they had.  They were actually on their way when they were notified that the plane broke down and everything was delayed for 24 hours!  So...They returned to camp and started begging and borrowing what they could...and some even went dumpster diving for stuff they needed overnight.  But...The bottom line is they all made it home!!!  It won't be long now...keep busy and make sure the girlfriend gets pictures!!!  (Then share them with us...We LOVE happy endings!!!)

Those guys can sleep on concrete floors...and have. He'll be fine, it's Mom that's getting all fired up!! congrats!!!

We had a Parent Coordinator, is that a POC? and she was on the whole time my son was deployed, I still have her emails. Between her and the chaplain, it's how I got my only photo of my son in Iraq!

DjJones so happy for you that your son is coming home.  I will be praying for his recovery also from the loss of his buddy.  I know my son said he may see some hard things soon and I'm praying not.  But I have this inner peace that God will help him and us with whatever he faces.  I know they had training but nothing can prepare  you for that.  I love you and your son and your family for all your service each of you gave the ways you have.  TexasDocMom is secondary PTS when the immediate family faces the effects of the PTS of the one who served? 
I had a pleasant surprise today, I got on facebook and my son was able to chat with us.  He told his wife this week that they told him he would have to start paying $90 a month to use the internet.  Is that sound familiar or do you think it's because they may be going out of the wire in the future and that would incur his charge?  No matter what, we told him pay it.  We don't care it's worth it.  He says it's what gives him the most peace is getting online and communicating with us and if that does it, it's worth $90.00.  But was curious if anyone else had heard of that. 

I'm sorry....POC is point of contact.  He is to be home tomorrow 2 pm.  Yea....I can open my bottle of champagne and take down my yellow ribbon and blue star.  I wish they would video tape their homecoming for those who cannot make it.  I have to settle for photos.  Just glad he is out of that country.  I will think of all of you every day until each and every one of your sons/daughters/friends/husbands/wives are home safe.  

DJ...I'm so happy for you...Now you can exhale.  Please don't abandon us...this group needs Moms like you to reassure the new moms coming in. 

Ktssong...At the top of this section (under helpful links) there is good information about secondary PTSD.  Basically, it states that if your Vet has PTSD...you (or other family members) can "catch" it. 

MY boy is home and with his gf.  I got to talk to him at the homecoming.  He sounds great.. I cried so hard when his gf said he's there.  Such a relief.  Felt like a heavy weight lifted off of me.  Now if we can just get all of them home.

DJ, I'm crying with you! I remember those tears so well, such relief. I knew he was home, I spoke with him on the phone, but at 6 am the next morning, I opened my email to the  photo another Navy mom took and there he stood, big grin on his face, eyes alight, and I cried, all day long, such relief. I cannot wait until every single mom and dad, spouses all have that cry....when they are all at home.

Secondry PTS seems to me to be the reaction we have to our loved one's PTS, the changes we make in our lives to attempt to control it, to "help" them, etc...and their burden becomes ours, leaving no one to get help. I think.

Thinking of you, Susan...

DJ....YES!!!!!!!  Isn't the relief wonderful?  I bet you are smiling a goofy smile, all the while you are crying.  I know you would have liked to have been there...but the important thing is he is back here.  I agree with MalaMama...Every time I hear of another making it back home, I'm beside myself with joy.  On this board, your kids have become one of my kids, and every homecoming is very special. 

Susan...Keep hanging in there...I know every day they are gone is a day too long, but before you know it, you will be getting ready for your oldest son to return home.

Dj...I'm with everyone else.  Just reading that you are so happy he is home made me cry too.  I can't explain it but the ties on here even though we haven't met, just knowing that all the moms here feel what I feel then I feel what you feel when that gratitude for their safety is there.  Thank you for sharing your joy.  We are happy with you.  Let you son know we are happy he is home.

Susan, I guess when I married for "Better or Worse", I stood by that statement.  As ALL military spouses can agree, you just do what you have to do and get on with it.  I've been through so many deployments.  My husband use to work out of Lakenheath, England with special forces and was gone all the time.  It was hard and most of the time I had no idea where he was or what he was doing.  You just cope and stay busy.  When it is your own child, it is so different.  I always thought my husband is a grown man and can take care of himself.  When my son went to Iraq he was only 19yrs old and an HN.  I kept thinking he was still just a boy and not much experience.  I cried all the time when my son was gone.  This was his last deployment EVER. He is enrolling in a local community college and getting out in 7 months.  He wanted to stay in, but they won't move him from his unit and says he cannot take any classes because they are always training and in the field.  I did age a lot from this deployment.  The stress shows.  Two years til my hubby retires and we can move on with our 2d phase in life.  I will remain on this site until EVERY one of our men and women are home.  I also start my CNA course next month.  My goal is to work at a VA.  It is my way to give back to those who have served.  I cannot begin to tell you all the passion I have for our military.  What a sacrifice they make along with their families.  Hang in there all of you...the end will come and you will be so happy to have your loved one home safe.  BTW....when my son deployed to Iraq, I kept having visions in my head of a guardian angel tattoo.  I never had one, but felt such a strong urge to have it.  So....my husband designed it and I got a Guardian Angel on my back with my son's initials and above it it says, "Corpsman Up."  I can't explain it but it gave me peace after I got it.  It was a month before he left.  I am not a religious person at all.

Enough is Enough by Jean Synodinos  Listen to my friend Jean, and her line "the day I learned to pray..." Also listen to "Nothing But Love'.....it's what I wish for everyone of you!

We know the celebration of our young heros returning means more are leaving for deployment, at least for right now (end of war Dec 31 2013, THANK YOU!!) so keep an eye on your notifications and touch base with each new mom and/or dad or spouse as they find us.

docs mom! congrats!! such good news! but I doubt if you're used to it, it'll wear on you...please don't forget we're here next year!

Your experience is important here, docs mom...and we should have lunch!! do you come into Austin often?

Far south...I'll message you!

Tried to upload a photo of my dad...one of my favorite vets. Remembering those lost in war...my gggrandmother lost two sons in WWI, I can't imagine her pain. Those women set at home and waited, or hit the town square to read the lists and newspapers to get info. When my son was deployed, this group kept me sane, or as sane as one can be when you're living in fear with every breath. Thanks to all those women (and men) who reached out to me to hold my cyber hand, and to those that remain my friends today. Thank all of you for raising patriots and being their back home back bone. And by golly, enjoy that barbque, we deserve it!

Memorial Day is not just another three day weekend for me. I am thankful to all those who have fought and still fight to defend our freedom. I wish all of my son's deployments could be humanitarian: building schools, clinics, providing clean water for villages, etc. His battalion is doing that kind of work in the sandbox but there others want to stop these good works so he has to be prepared to be a warrior also at any moment. 

I don't believe Memorial Day is "just another three day weekend" for any military families, Barbara. Or for those who have served, or for many of my neighbors and friends who gave me huge support when my son was in the military and particularly when he was deployed. 

Spent the day today in downtown DC watching Rolling Thunder, meeting lots of veterans and even got to hear the father of Bowe Bergdahl speak.  What a wonderful way to pay tribute to our veterans and those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.  We are here in DC 2 more years and I plan on attending each year.  Oh and BTW.....I will see my son in 10 days....YEA

Thank you to all the families that have had vets or those who have someone who is currently serving, and especially the men and women who have paid the ulitmate sacrifice with their bravey, that we here at home will continue to feel safe and enjoy the freedom on USA soil.

Please keep HN Eric Shawnee and his family in your thoughts and prayers today. He was killed by an IED in Sangin.  May they get strength knowing what a wonderful Corpsman he was.  

Well after 18 months I am here at the home on my son and family, giving my son lots of hugs!  Have missed him terrible.  It doesn't matter if its the first for the fifth deployment, I always miss him. 

 The Department of Defense announced today the death of a sailor who was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

             Hospitalman Eric D. Warren, of Shawnee, Okla., died May 26 of wounds received in action due to an improvised explosive device blast in Sangin District, Helmand Province, Afghanistan.  He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, Regimental Combat Team 6, 1st Marine Division (Forward), I Marine Expeditionary Force (Forward), Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Blessings to his loved ones and family, and the Marines that loved him.

Paymaster! what a great day in your home! please hug that son for us all!! they seem especially receptive to many hugs when they come home, don't they? Enjoy this time!

Susan, if you talk to your son, please share all of our condolences with him, that's too close....prayers for you.

TODAY on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/events/240448202723750/

Dept of Excellence wrote:

One of our mom's  daughter posted on my fb about this young Doc Warren: "Yeah, I was there and saw the medevac come through and then figured out that he was a HM. The Ramp Ceremony for him was one of the biggest ones." She used to be an instructor at Great Lakes before recently going green side and deploying , so she knows these young corpsmen better than most. Has to hit her hard. Blessings to all that serve in that warzone.

Susan, you can go to that fb page any time, ask questions, find the archives,people are there to help you and your son if he needs it.

Our son came home from Afghanistan last Friday. We were able to be there at the west-coast base when he got off the plain white bus (which was no longer inconspicuous because of the many vets on motorcycle who escorted them from the air base - haha!) and it was just wonderful. Of course, they were about 3 hours later than anticipated, or as my brother the Marine put it, "right on time!"

There was lots for the families with children to do while they waited, but let's face it, each moment d-r-a-g-g-e-d.  He had 96 hours liberty which we all enjoyed very much. He was in good spirits, and the most astonishing physical shape - yikes! He has always worked out, soccer through college, then BC and FMTB, but patrolling all over that sand will certainly achieve results fitness trainers can only hope for! He got his FMF pin and has "picked up" so he was pretty happy about that too. After a couple weeks of work on base he gets leave, and will see friends along the way, and then come home for a bit. Life is good for us. My son shared the things that he especially liked getting in care packages, and although we are all different, I thought I'd send it along:

• med weight socks (it's hot there now). socks just disintegrate, always needed
• gum
• trail mix in small bags (easy to carry on patrol)
• q-tips (sand gets EVERYWHERE)
• lotion (I send him those huge bottles of Queen Helene and covered the name!)

non-scented wipes

• top ramen
• magazines (they actually loved those People, US, etc. because they were so silly and distracting, but also car, surfing, tech, all that stuff)
• deflated football/soccer ball (easy to mail) WITH PUMP AND EXTRA NEEDLES
• chocolate trail mix like Moose Munch
• Carmex, Burt's Bees or regular Chapstick - the stuff they are issued just melts immediately and lots of the Marines and sailors had blistered lips until they got the good stuff - OW!

And, amazingly, unless you know for sure you sailor wants beef jerkey, don't send it until you do know... they seem to be pretty much up to their eyeballs in it. Again, this may vary from group to group, but my son was out in the middle of who-knows-where and even with mail intermittent at best, they still had tons of the stuff! Sorry I've gone on so long, but I'm still pretty emotional and scattered. 

Eurekamom! so glad he's home safe and sound and you got that hug! and all thoat information, too...good for him for taking the time to share it with us.