Anyone with Sailors/Soldiers/Marines in War Zones and Combat Areas

Ktssong, it's a big boat. And we're all in it together....I'm going to look over that site on secondary PTS, I know my son is safe, and I still can't stop worrying.  I don't know how you moms with kids still deploying stay sane, I really don't.

Want to mention this book called Until Tuesday to you. Here's a link to its website: http://until-tuesday.com/ I've read parts of it, my son's GF gave it to me for my birthday last year. I've been unable to read all of it, because where this soldier was stationed early on is where my son was based in Iraq as well...and altho it was not as intense as what this soldier went through I hated my son even being there. Tuesday is a service dog....he saved this soldier's sanity. I have several friends on Facebook working to get dogs out of shelters and in the hands of vets.

I appreciate that...I will pick the book up.  I got a call from my son this morning and he told me himself so I'm thinking it's a good sign that he told me...we talked for almost an hour.  I didn't know that they were coming to get him today by helicopter and take him back inside wire..I'm now even more concerned thinking it's worse than I thought.  Maybe it's standard procedure after they counsel them or evaluate to take them back to get more assistance...do they contact families over this?  Is that crazy for me to ask?  I don't know what to ask.  I feel like I'm trying to hold his wife together, and keep encouraging him and then I'm thinking my emotions are being held back because my brain knows that I can't lose it because I gotta hold it together to get her down there and keep her positive that he is going to be fine...if all the anxiety of being there to welcome them home and waiting on right dates isn't enough, I think this took my anxiety level up tons. 

Praying for all your sons/duaghters and families. 

Hi, I am new here, have had Sailor away in this area of the world deployed for 9 months and he is getting ready to go again. It is very nerve racking !  We are told not to watch the news, not to gossip or talk of things we do not know - rumors. You all seem like a very great group of strong ladies :) Has anyone heard about an Army Base Bombing In Afghanistan? Hate to ask the question so bluntly ?  It is not in the news yet . It seems the longer you are a military mom the more military mom friends you obviously make and it makes you worry so much more. While I pray constantly for all of them- even those I do not know,  I have more people, who are closer to truly pray for. I have several Air force and Soldier friends over there right now as we all probably do and avoiding worry is so hard :( 

Hi D~W~G...Welcome to the group.  This is one place where you will find folks know EXACTLY what you are talking about.  We can't "imagine" your feelings...we  live with them.  I think it is up to each Mom to decide whether or not to listen to the news.  For the most part, I followed it, but there would be times when enough was enough and I had to back away a bit.  BTW..I found the RSS section right above these comments to be a very good source.

As far as being "strong" goes...We get our strength from each other.  I hope I've been able to pass on courage and strength to others, but I KNOW I have had my share of meltdowns and turned to this group to prop me back up again.  Keep coming back...It DOES get better!

Welcome, DWG , to the group no one wants to join, but never seems to leave once we do...there are amazing women and a few dads who keep in touch here to make sure there is always someone "home" to talk to. We've all been in your shoes, and many here have kids in war zones right now. We have moms with 2 or 3 kids deployed at once (thank God the Iraq war zone has calmed down,that is happening less now).

Here on this group, we do follow OPSEC regulations. We do not mention exact times for arrivals/departures of military units, exact locations, names of those deployed etc. We also encourage that no first hand accounts of bombings, etc be shared on this board. Remember that when your child tells you something, he/she is sharing that with his/her mom/dad and not with an online group that can be read by anyone dropping by. We do not want any parent to learn about any instances of injury here on our board before the DoD has notified them.

That said, we know how frightening it is to hear about things on the news or via rumor. You need to remember that the next of kin of anyone injured or killed in Afghanistan will be notified before any one else, and notified quickly. It's hard to not worry all the time, I know this...but do not start building each instance you hear about up in your head. There is plenty of worrying to do, we'll help you do it, don't put  yourself through any more than you need to. Take care of you, eat right, try to sleep at night, talk to your doctor if  you need help with sleeping or anxiety. Walk the dog, hit the gym, paint a bedroom or 3, dig a garden...and keep that list by the phone of things your son would like to know about when he calls...the scores of the football games, the dog's antics, the next door neighbor's gossip...home stuff. You are home, stay healthy there, and that's what he wants when he comes home and when he calls. Remember to come here...you are not alone. Remember that...you are not alone.

Ktssong...I don't know how I missed your post. I can see why you would be concerned about him being pulled from patrol, but the up news on that is that he's safe in the wire than out, so there's that.  I would hope that the military is just paying closer attention and working to keep PTSD at a lower level...possibly your son had a panic attack witnessed by others, possibly he over reacted to something they thought he shouldn't...or possibly he just simply told them he had to get out of there. In other words we don't know, and he is physically safer now than out on patrol. We have to hold on to what we can get...and in the wire, he will probably have more opportunity to communicate with you and/or his wife.  Stay busy, walk that dog....paint that damn room I keep chattering about....dig that garden...and let us know when you hear from him!

Ktssong...I missed your post also.  TRY to relax...I'm not sure why they are moving him around, but they are on the spot and doing what they think is best for him!  Take courage from that!  The hardest thing is getting the kids to say there is a problem and then getting someone to really listen.  Your son is getting the attention and help he needs.  Be supportive when he calls, but don't worry.  Keep working with your daughter-in- law.  Maybe one or both of your could get some counseling...your doctor can write you a referral and with most HMOs it is very affordable.  You can also check with Vet groups in your area.  (I know the Vietnam Vets are very active with PTSD.)Your son needs the two women he loves most to be strong when he gets home.  You have my prayers...and keep talking to us.  (BTW...If it would help your DIL, have her come here and talk, also)

What branch are many of your military sons and daughter with? Thanks for the welcome and advice :) 

The majority of us are Navy moms, but we have (and welcome) moms, dads, spouses from all the branches to this group. Navy moms are mostly corpsmen or seabee moms. We have moms with mulitple kids in multiple branches of the military...

Prayers to those Corpsmen and Seabee Moms <3 And other as well of course :) 

MalaMama...I know once my son's unit left Iraq to do the stuff your son is doing, they were home relatively quickly. It just seems like forever!  We chose to have him fly home as well after homecoming at Camp Lajuene, too many of us wanted to see him, and like you, taking time off when you don't know really WHEN to do it is hard. One mom went and spent 3 days there before the arrival of the 2/2.  We had a family coordinator that started updating us with emails, and on the final two days, we'd get updating phone calls. I'd vote for bringing him HOME to his own house, family, bed, privacy in his room (that's a BIG deal!), and good food....plus you'll have time to observe him a bit, and maybe not have the anxiety of those who can't do that.

We have heard that from my son and a doctor has checked him and they have talked to  him and he is doing better.  The doctor on the main base there reported to him that it's nothing to worry about so a sigh of relief that it doesn't seem to be out of hand and they are caring for him.  He told me he wouldn't fit any of his regular clothing anymore because he's lost so much weight in his waist and legs.  I'm glad he mentioned it so I didn't get shocked when I see him.  I'm prepared that we may see a weary son.  I just teared up writing this but I'm very thankful for all your posts and notes to me and being here for us.  We are in the homestretch and not a minute too soon.  Malamama I emailed the Ombudsman to see if there is a date and she is very very helpful...they said they try to give us info as fast as they get it and also to call the care line because they will give flight info 24 hours ahead.  Not sure if that helps much...

DWG welcome to the group....My son is in the Navy Seabees...he's a mechanic however, since he's been there he says he has been so many other things too. 

I think my mom instincts were right on target when about a month ago I started hearing in my sons notes he was tired...then he said he hated the desert and he never says hate and never says he's tired and every note said it so I started feeling he was weary....I cannot be thankful enough that he talked to someone and told them and so thankful they are listening and here are the tears again...I know they have the best out there and that makes me feel so much better...He said he can't wait to see water and just lay next to it...it's sad to think about but also makes me smile thinking about him just hanging out next to water..  Tomorrow I am picking up packing tape and starting to pack up his clothes and all their wedding gifts and getting things ready to keep me busy...TDM, I took the dog a walk and I went through a pile of mail I've been putting off and I went and watched my grandkids play football and play with my newest granddaughter...so trying to stay positive so I am strong for him when he gets back..  This  might be early to be saying but I'm thinking this is going to be a fantastic holiday season, the best gift all year to have my son back in the states and a deployment behind us...Time to focus on rest and refreshing body mind and soul.  Thanks all......like I say to him, I say to you here's a HHHUUUUUGGG.

ktssong....I forgot to mention the weight loss.  It seems "normal" and may not be anything to worry about.  When you think of all physical exercise they are getting, the heat they are working and living in, and the extra pounds of equipment and (or) body armor they are lugging around, it is easy to understand.  My son gained back the lost weight in a short time after coming home. 

Yes...I think you can breathe again.  I DO understand about the water!  LOL  Also, don't be amazed if he mentions how much he loves the color GREEN!  Seriously...just seeing grass and trees, lakes, ponds, and streams, and so on will go a long way to making him feel better.

  I know too many from Viet Nam that did not have the support that finally our brave military veterans need and deserve, this man has nothing to be ashamed of, he's a hero,  once more, for speaking out. If it gets one more Marine, sailor, soldier walking in a door for help, he's a miracle worker as well.Link to story

Ktssong, Like MT says, weight loss is very normal, they aren't gettin' mom's home cookin' or filling up at hamburger joints around the base either. My son came home from his MEU deployment in October, came home to us for Christmas, told me my scale was 30 lbs off...and I said "no way!"....then he realized that he had put on 30 lbs just eating normally at the base. And life on board ship is probably not as erratic or as hot as A....altho he was running his Marines up and down every stair way to keep them fit and moving when they were at sea.

Yep, stay busy...keeps you sane, somewhat! Start planning what you're going to cook when he walks in that door, mom!

Hi Everyone, 

I don't say much but I read your posts and know you share the feelings that I have and that I can't write. 

I pray several times a day for God to bless and protect our children, and our families.

My son has complained because his two previous deployment were to tropical islands. They were small and muggy. Now he longs for one of them, especially the ocean around them.

Hello, Barbara C! welcome to that group no one wants to join, and I'm glad you're feeling comfortable enough to speak up...that made me smile, that comment about the tropics and now the sand...I bet he does miss that water! When my son's Marine buddy came to town on his R&R after being injured in A, my son came up from San Antonio and took him to our local ice cold swimming spot, Barton Springs...every day, twice a day for 3 days! I asked him if he was going to show him any other sights, and he said, "water, mom, ice cold water...that's all he needs..." 

And yes, prayer helps...a lot, in so many ways. Once someone on this board told me that prayer helped her because it made her vocalize her fears and get them out there in front of her. That helped me as well, when I say my morning prayers, it's like facing my worst part of the day and putting it in it's place. 

Is your son a corpsman, Barbara? or a BEE? tell us a little about him, just not too much about his current deployment.

Come here anytime, other moms will be speaking up soon...because we're here and you are not alone. We all know that same fear and we are really good at worrying with you. 

I just hopped on here tonight to check in and it always lifts my spirits to read all of your posts...that was a good idea Chief88 to send your son to a Korean Spa...an ice room...I've never heard of it...tell me more..would GP have one?...

Barbara, welcome to the group...this has become my safe haven where I can share my feelings and no one rolls their eyes and makes me feel ridiculous for saying how much I think about my son...keep coming back, it will be that for you too.

When they come home I heard they get 96 hours off?  Is that right?  Is that 96 work hours or 96 straight hours?

Tonight me and my daughter in law painted a welcome home banner to take with us to homeport We put "WE LOVE YOU" and then Below that His Name real Big and then under his name I drew Stick people holding up his name and we painted hearts all over it.  Then we painted a sign to go in front of their apartment for all the family to sign and it says "WELCOME HOME......FINALLY"  then we spent rest of night until midnight packing boxes of all the gifts and items to take down...I'm feeling alot of anxiety...but it's good...I told my daughter in law...I'm going to pack my suitcase..so we will be on standby but I told her I feel like a mom about to give birth and waiting for the delivery...it's sooooo like it even the feeling of wanting it to just be done now....haha...This baby is pretty big though.....

Happy, happy, happy to hear homecoming is coming your way ktssong!! photos please of the mom hug and that big smile on both of your faces! and hug that DIL for us all, please! Happy happy happy is a good thing!

I am having all his brothers and sisters and cousins and neices and nephews sign this one.  I can't show the other one and it's the best but it has his name on it... I put on then took off because I remembered Security....   THe other one is a banner we are going to hold up so he knows where his people are.  TDM  I will definitely post the picture of the hugs now that I figured out how to put them on

I think those three words are as pleasing to the eyes as much as I Love you is to the ears...I just like staring at it....Is it breaking security if I post photos of making the posters on FB...I didn't know...so I have shown his family....They are all going to sign them this weekend so their names are on there with love. 

Hello ladies!  I'm Betsy and I just joined this group.  I am very new to this aspect of the Navy.  My son is on a carrier that is about to be deployed.  This is his first deployment.  He is now with us as he is on leave, but will be leaving this weekend to go back to Bremerton for work.      

ktssong, is it just his first name? I don't see a problem with that, it's last names that connect people. Good job on that poster!! 

I saw one that simply said "NO MORE SAND"...that mom said everyone commented on it, every returning Marine or sailor had something to say!

I'm so excited for you!!

ktssong, that is so wonderful that you will see him again soon.  

MalaMama, ((Hugs)) I will pray for your son's safe return. 

Malamama, I just saw this, so sorry to miss it. Girl, just breathe. It's all you can do...I saw that horrific news today, though of all of you knowing you were sweating out the day, and praying hard for those families. You're on the downhill slide, and you have no reason to believe you won't be getting that weekend with your son. He wants to debrief and relax before coming home, he's a good guy. 

I came here to post a cartoon series my son put up on Facebook. While we're worrying our butts off this is probably more like them and how they interact with one another. If swearing upsets you, don't look at it..but I'm a sailor's daughter, and sailor's mom, and a Marine's sister, so I'm used to it. 

Terminal Lance Have a glass of wine or a cup of tea, but don't be drinking it while you read each one, you could cover your computer screen when you laugh so hard...

Malamama....I think our guys are out there together...well, my son had to be brought back inside the wire early due to physical/emotional weariness..He was brought back on a plane.  I'm not sure all the details.  He assures me he is getting better and he did say that he was nervous about returning home only because of how it's going to feel.  He already isn't feeling like himself and trying to cope there and so I sense him stressing some even about returning transitioning...I'll be soooo glad to get them out of there.  I just feel like it is serious because he's saying it so much but at same time good because he is talking about it.  I feel like  he will talk about it more when he gets back.  I signed up and have been practicing in a comedy drama that's tomorrow night.  Didn't know if I should pile more things on myself but opted to go for it and am glad I did it's helping me laugh and be around my church where people are praying...I have very bad stomach problems right now day and night... when someone asked me about the homecoming today and my trip plans and how it was happening when I talked about it my stomach knotted up.  I am just experiencing high nerves too.  I don't know if a doctor can give me anything to calm me down or not.  Or if I just try to handle it best I can...So you aren't alone on the anxiety...We are trying to get ready and remain calm but so excited. 

Soon it will be behind us and we will all feel wonderful and happy...

is there anyway for us parents to prepare for their homecoming I read somewhere that we should attend something out in Gulfport, Miss but I live in Iowa and we be unable to attend.  So is there anyway we can prepare.

what is the careline and how do access it if I can.

When they are returning from deployment, if you want to be there when they get off the bus, your sailor will need to put all names of persons who are attending that day...You get base access for the day for that special event...and you can be there when they arrive....If they do not put your name on the list, you will not get base access to be there.....A few days before homecoming, there is a careline phone number available you can call to be updated on arrivals times/dates for each group....You need to contact an Ombudsman for your battalion or connect with the Battalion's Facebook page and they can give you phone number and other info...It is a wondrous site when those buses pull in and all those seabees get off...Wondrous mayhem and madness...but even more wonderful hugs and kisses!!

Somehow, this page put me on "stop following" what's up with that?? Congrats on the home comings!!

Mamabear, if your son has you on the list, you will get the calls telling you more information about when they arrive. I would check with the ombudsman and/or the FRO just to be sure. 

Ladies, please check out this video from CBS Service Dogs held back from PTS Soldiers. As many suicides as we are having, I can't believe anyone is putting red tape and road blocks to these guys getting these animals. Share on facebook if you want...

Mamabear, I have the number to the Care Line if you need it still.  I will check and see if we have friended each other on here and send it to  you.  Not sure if I can put it on this comment area.  It had an update on there yesterday that is different from today so I'm starting to listen to it everyday. 

The Ombudsman and the FRG have all been so supportive.  If I never had them and all of you on here I think the shingles that I had started out with at the beginning of this deployment would have covered me head to toe but forturnately it was managed.  And I defnitely have needed extra chocolate recently to get through the rest of this deployment. 

Ktssong...I forgot about your shingles! yes, we need to remind moms to take care of themselves while their loved ones are deployed. I broke out in the worst fever blisters (herpes simplex) that I had probably had since I was a child....and I had not had an attack in years. Stress will do crazy things! I've started using Slippery Elm lozenges for my stomach acid problem, really has helped. Better than the drugs the doctor kept putting me on. 

Another item spotted on facebook, this time from Hawaii: Hawaii's tribute to our soldiers, sailors, Marines.  this will touch your heart. There are many who think of our young military every single day. 

What a great way to start a Monday, malamama! I know exactly what you mean, that's what I did that morning I opened my email to a photo of my son boots down Camp Lajuene...cried all day. It's like being able to breathe again! 

Make sure your deployed sailor, marine, soldier, air man, can VOTE this election:

Forward them this link: Absentee Voting Link

I definitely will make sure mine votes.  THank you for the link.  I'm with Malamama.  Getting happy and nervous.  I have to drive straight to where all the storms have been and since I'm driving alone, I really hope I don't hit storms when I go or floods.  makes me nervous.  Went and bought a car charger for my phone so I don't get somewhere and need help and have a dead car phone.  I just read all the posts for our area on fb and the road next to their apartment is flooded like a river so I'm nervous we won't be able to get the apartment set up.  Does anyone on here live in Long Beach?  Can you tell me what is going on electric wise and if groceries are operating???

So you can tell I'm excited but also nervous as can be.  I'm taking flashlights, bottled water, and praying praying for everything to be ok when we get there.

good morning, what is an accomadation award my daughter got her first award and that is what she got, hope all is going well with everyone.

So after writing an Admiral, calling my son's Chief and writing a congresswoman, my son is getting the apts. he needs for PTSD.  That's all it took....very disappointed that they would treat our troops this way.  He was told it can wait and do it on his own time.  He gets out Dec.  Way to go.

Perseverance paid off, much thanks to mom, DJones!  How much leave does he have built up, will he have to stay in all the way to Dec? My son burned 6 weeks of leave at the end of his enlistment.

I was not going to give up on my son.  I would have gone even further if I had to.  He says now all the higher ups are p.o'd at him and think it is terrible what he did.  I said, "What did you do? You reached out for help and that is all you did."  He is suppose to have terminal leave in Dec. but the same MO who's been harrassing him said he's denying his terminal leave.  I told him not if I have anything to do with it.  I will NOT sit back and let any of this happen.  

DJones, I'm so happy you are sharing this.  I know I'm expecting to see my son soon and I'm anxious to check up on what he was sharing he experienced with PTSD and what they have done for him.  I will be convinced he will be fine after I spend some time with him and see for myself and hear him with my own ears.  He's always been positive and upbeat and I've not been very convinced especially when I saw my son's last picture last month getting an award.  He was not smiling.  His wife asked him about it and he said he would never smile again in any pictures except with his family.  That was not the son that left here talking.  So I want to see him and then I'll know.  I'm glad you are being so vigilant.  Your son deserves to be treated and I will be praying for him right now.  What is a terminal leave? if you don't mind me asking.

On another note, going very soon to join my daughter in law.  After all the storm from Isaac , she headed down with my son's furniture for their new apartment on the beach....I was worried but her dad drove the uhaul it with his jeep on a trailer behind and they got there in 12 hours and  not a drop of rain so even though they saw crazy flooding, they made it and I'm following soon.  I'm so excited...messages from family readiness group come almost daily and I'm going to post you some very happy pictures in a couple weeks.

Is it normal to have already been told where they are going next and they aren't even home yet?  Wow....I can hardly believe it.  I guess it helps to know how long we have before we part again but I don't even have him back yet.  It's not bad to know, just surprising to know so soon.  I like knowing because we know whats up and don't have to worry if its back to here...I don't know if it's possible it could change or not but hoping it won't change. 

Happy Labor Day to all....this time last year we were spending the night with my son in Destin Florida for a family vacation and he had a Labor Day weekend off and made all of us a special breakfast he wanted to before he went back to base.  It was a wonderful memory he made because I have it today...

Terminal leave is when military members have enough leave saved up they can use it to leave the service early.  My husband will be able to get out 90 days early but still be active.  This gives them time to get things in order before their actual discharge date.  My son's last day is 26 Jan, but he wants to take terminal leave 30 days early to prepare for school in Jan.  Most military members take terminal leave and is almost always granted.  His MO is harrassing him again and telling him he won't approve it.  This would screw up my son attending winter semester at school.  If he can't get into school then, he will have to wait until fall which means he would have to find work til then.  Just all pure harrassment now.

DJ, just keep up the support, you are a hell of a mom....and his Chief should have his butt kicked. Malamama, if  you son isn't going to enlist, they will move him out before they head to train for their next deployment to Afghanistan.  My son procrastinated after being offered to lead the corpmen in Afhgan, called me to say the moved him out! ("darn," said mom," no deployment? how sad." So he re-enlisted, was with another battalion, went to Nevada for a few months then back to Lajuene to the Methadone Clinic and then got that great assignment in San Antonio as an instructor. (It was great for me, he might have had other thoughts). If you son isn't re enlisted by a certain cut off point, they'll find him something to do until he departs the Navy.

Anyone know how many days wartime transition lasts?

My heart goes out to those who lost their lives this week and to their families.  Breaks my heart deeply.  I think I cry every time I read about this.  I know it sounds selfish, but I am so deeply grateful my son is done and will never go back.  It was the most stressful time ever for me.  

Woohoo!  I'm doing the happy dance with you, MalaMama!  I'm sorry you can't make the homecoming, but the important thing is he is OUT of that place!  I didn't make the homecoming for my son, either, and I can't help but feel the money is better spent on other things.  BTW...When he does come home, I'm sure you will have people dropping in like crazy to welcome him back.  You may want to consider a huge wienie roast for all the friends, neighbors, and shirt-tail relatives soon after he gets home.  You will still get the people close to him stopping by, but that way you will have more one-on-one time with your son.