Anyone with Sailors/Soldiers/Marines in War Zones and Combat Areas

Julie..I just wanted to make sure I had it right.  I was thinking of our Navy ships out there who are near Libya and the alert they are on.  What a mix of emotions they all must be feeling!  Hooyah and  Oorah!

Neither have I. My son is a Corpsman and deployed last week to unknown destinations on my part. Finally spoke to his FRO and she is wonderful.  

Maybe its good I dont know

Exactly!  I am ready for the first email or FB messsge home.. He was not allowed to take his phone. But took his laptop. Its almost like boot camp all over again minus the not in this country aspect. LOL

Hang in there, Ladies!  I'm hoping and praying right along with you, but I want to remind you that if you DON'T hear from your kid, it doesn't mean anything except they are busy.  If you don't hear someone knocking on your door, assume they are safe.  Just keep coming in here...if no one is here at the moment, someone will be shortly.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

So proud of you ladies sticking together and stepping up for each other...and yes, no news IS good news, and yes, they are very busy. They need to stay focused, get the job done and stay safe, and you can bet the bank, that's what they are doing. 

I had some words for my son when he returned because I went over 3 weeks without a word, email, nothing...and he said "I went 3 weeks without a shower". So I shut up!

I'm just thinking of those Marine moms who haven't heard from their kids and we know there are Marine causalities at Camp Leatherneck. 

133 Bee's command said all of them were safe after this attack..

Thank you, Joanie!!!  It seems that when we need to hear from them, they are too busy to be in contact.  I'm sure you still want your own message, but at least the panic has been removed. (Wise command!)

Yes, thanks, Joanie!  Command used to encourage them all to call home or email after a situation like yesterdays, but with facebook in the picture now, perhaps that's not as likely to happen. They do not want you to worry unnecessarily, we know there's plenty of worry to go around , no need for extra.

Please remember to come here when these tough times are on the news, or whenever the fear is over whelming, and even if you just want a little contact with others who are thinking just like you...you are not alone...the loved ones of our military are right there with you, with comfort and prayer. Let us know if you hear  from anyone today, just remember to be selective about what you share  online from any conversation with him/her. They are confiding in mom and dad, not all of us!

Also, remember that sometimes right after attacks, the communications are shut down on purpose so you may not hear from your Bee for a few hours or even a day...I understand they did shut down communication right after this attack...

Hi! i just found this site. I have a deployed, Corpsman grandson that I follow these sites for info on . I have Marine sites but my daughter reminded me of N4M's, was following it all the time while he was in GL and then he went to SA for Corpsman school. Then to LJ for Greenside training. So glad to find this site, love reading your posts and feeling the love and support for all. He is Afghanistan now but at a forward base. Praying for all at this time of unrest. The homecoming pics bring tears - can't wait !

Gram! welcome to the group no one wants to join...I have a feeling that my next stint in the military might be as a grandmother, or possibly the great aunt...so never to old to know that you are not alone!

Welcome Gram...There are many nice sites on N4M, but this one saved my sanity.  When my son was sent to Afghanistan, I found I had no patience with the Moms crying about their baby leaving home for the first time.  People wanted to kill MY baby!  Thank God for this site where others knew how I felt!!!  Yes...The homecomings are very important to us...and the funny part is I get teary eyed over ALL of them.  After walking the walk with the Moms, their kids became my kids.  Please stop by often.  Right now we seem to be in "crisis mode", but there are times we laugh until our stomachs hurt.

I think the 133 BEE post on fb book was a classic look at how to do OPSEC correctly...

With all the discussion we've had over the last day's events, it reminds me to remind everyone about OPSEC, especially if you have a loved one in a war zone. Can anyone trace your page here back to your son or daughter serving in a war zone (or anyplace else, for that matter)? Is your son or daughter's facebook page shut down to the public?  Take a look at these rules from the Navy on social media, which includes N4M and Facebook pages: Navy and social media  

Please remind your son or daughter to shut that page down to anyone except those on their friends list, and to remember that what they post on FB is a reflection of them and the US Navy. And the Navy thinks that way as well.  Follow their example and shut your social media pages down as well. I know for a fact that I can follow at least one mom's page to their son/daughter. If I can do it, so can someone who does not have your or your child's best interest at heart. 

No names, locations, unit names, dates of arrival/departures, confidential conversations from your child, none here on this group please. If any one is out to do harm to a Navy family, we do not want that information coming from this page. Loose Lips Sink Ships. 

Another Molly Adopt A Sailor post from facebook, you will really relate to this one! One of our Navy moms just posted this for us to see, I asked if I could repost for you all !!! SO HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE --Here is something very priceless for you to read :) 

US ARMY Infantry -------WWII Deployed 

Below is a letter from my dad to his mother during World War II - dated 3 March 1945 - France - I thought you might enjoy it - although the times have changed---the requests from our young men overseas does not seem to change. 

Dear Mom - Surprise - you are getting another letter from me. I'll try not to be a wayward son and write more often. Everything here is okay with me. The situation is looking up and I am brushing up on my Russian. Spring is in the air. I bet the kids (his siblings) must be glad the cold weather is letting up. I would give almost anything I had right now to wander through a California orange grove and eat until I was so full I couldn't move. I would also like to take a trip to Mt. Baldy. That is going to be one of the first things I do when I get home. Pack up Pug and a picnic lunch and take off for a day in the mountains. Mt. Baldy is my first love. Then I am just going to roam the downtown streets of Los Angeles and listen to the people talk. 

I am going to enclose my usual request for a box. Nothing in particular, except something good to eat and all you can cram into it. Candy bars, cookies, etc. Packaged cookies are good and keep well. They would also save you time and trouble as far as making them and my little "four legged devil" couldn't get at them. Ditto on candy bars and packaged candy. Fruit cake is another item that the fellows have all been getting and sure is good as long as it lasts. You see, when a box comes in it is almost as good as public property. The approved procedure is as follows: To wit, carefully remove the string and wrappings and tenderly lift the cover. This is accompanied by a chorus of "ohs" and "Ahs" and "what, no whiskey?" Then you remove all personal items and a sample of everything and a few items you particularly like. This is jealously watched by everyone to make sure you don't cheat. Then you step back quickly if you don't want to get stamped to death. If you are lucky and there are only a few fellows around there might be something left. That is what it is like when a package arrives. 

Well, mom, I'll close for now. Take care of yourself and keep every thing the same at home until I return. The dawn of today brings me one day closer to home. 
You ever loving son, Bill.

Hi, I just joined your group and wanted to say hello. This is probably the group I never thought I'd actually ever be joining!  But here I am and my son left today.  I am not in such a great mood so I thought I'd just introduce myself and I am in for the long haul so I hope some of you may be able to help me.  :-/

Chief88 Thanks for your support and inspiration. This is the perfect message to send to us today. I too am a part of this group and just a few weeks into it.  Got the i am here call and then missed calls 2 weeks in a row.  I take comfort in the fact that he sounded great in his messages and that I can replay them any time I need to hear his voice.  Vansmom we all are always here to lend hugs and support to each other so that we can get through the  many hard months to come .

I'm right with you vansmom. I am new to this site also..:((( Our son just left last week & I never knew what it was like to feel the same way you do. I can't get rid of that lump in my throat & feel nausea everyday, I cry at different times of the day, not to sure what triggers it.....I use to be an avid news watcher, but avoid it for now.

Thanks Chief88 for all your suggestions.

Avoiding the news is an essential coping tool.  I knew nothing about the events on friday until late that night and I just kept reminding myself that just like in  boot camp that  "no news is good news and then I kept checking facebook for the battalion  and ombudsman posts to  get the relief that I needed to keep in breathing.

Welcome to all you new mom's.  Yes, vanmom this is the group you never thought you would belong to. 

When nothing else is working this is were you come to vent, cry and laugh.

My grandson is past half-way in his deployment. It doesn't get easier, as such, but you will be able to function and breath nearly normal. I actually had a lot of fun planning his boxes! Silly stuff, water toys, flip flops and themed boxes. I guess I probably got carried away - never sent less than 4 boxes and 6 when I sent the taco/nacho party!!!! No alcohol or pork products. He is at a small forward base and wanted personal items - no store. Also no microwave but could heat stuff a little. I sent a pizza party too. Had planned an All American party box but can't send it. I found Nutri-System hamburgers and hot dogs (no refrigeration needed) at the Big Lots store. Also peanut butter and jelly and sent tortillas to use for bread and buns. Got pkgs of mustard, mayo, catsup & pickle relish at our GFS store (Gordon's Food Service). Lots of bags of all flavors of chips and jars of chip dip. We were going to order Space ice cream for dessert:) We had finally found a site to order the ice cream when my daughter got a message from him. they had been told to let their people know to not send anything more!!! the mail was so backed up they didn't know when they could get it all out. He kept saying nobody was sending anything, we kept saying we were. We figured up and he had at least 18 boxes that were "in the mail". A couple of weeks later he got 15 boxes!!!! He was one happy kid. He gets on fb every few days and Skypes some. My daughter Skyped with him today. She took him for a walk around thier property while they talked. Showed him the horses, 1000 tiny trees they planted this spring, some landscaping and his TRUCK ! It is different, but life goes on. And your cell phone "grows attatched" to you! There will be a fb notice at 2:16 AM, you open it up and there he is... so you are messaging, then too excieted to sleep. I still work full time - at a job I love - but will give up some sleep for a message anytime! Sorry it's so long, but this is an excieting time in our life. Hope you all will come to embrace this as the special time that it is. Love and prayers to all. 

Welcome to the new moms, as has been said...to the group no one wants to join, but as you can see, someone is always home to greet you. Please come here anytime, vent, cry, laugh, share (great post, Gram!) and ask questions....you have no control after all those years of being the mom in charge, and it's hard, very hard to deal with the fear....do put those boxes on the table and fill them up....my son wanted salsa...lots of salsa...he was the chef in Iraq...two Geo Foreman grills and a rice cooker. I suggest sending an elec skillet with modifications for the plugs, if possible. Send soft pillow cases....and that walk around the property and truck is perfect, I posted a video like that on myspace of me walking his dog in the neighborhood. 

We're right here...you are not alone. You've got the finest moms in the world for company. Please share this group with any other military moms in this position, we don't care if they are Navy, Army, Marine, Air Force...fear is fear, and we will help.

I am getting teary every time I am reading your messages tonight.  I am just so proud of our kids and proud of us Moms for  either going through this deployment experience as we speak or having already been through it. the need for comfort and support is all the  same.  I am grateful that we are all here for each other  from all parts of the country in our homes and reaching out to to a mom in need. I thank you all for the company tonight it really means a lot to know that I can just write a message or read a message and just know that  all of you are always here

Send this link to your son/daughter/spouse that is out of the country, help make sure they can vote: http://www.fvap.gov/  

Julie, cry...it really helps. You get that out, then you'll wash your face and get on with your day....we're big believes in the power of tears around here. 

Thanks, Chief! I want to make sure the new moms know about the discussions above, with all types of topics, as well as the links above the discussion. Lots of information there, and if you find any others that need to be shared, I'll be glad to post them.

Thank you all for the warm welcome........makes it a little better.  Not knowing anything or having much contact is not anything I am used to.  :(  Last time on a ship I was able to send packages and all was happy in my world.......not this time, this is a whole new thing for me.  I only have a "phone number" to deal with this time. 

Link to Spouse Buzz  A support site for spouses of the US Military, pretty interesting. Somebody take a look, let me know if you think I should include it in our Links section.

I don't have an address to send packages to :(  I only have a phone number that I can call and they can only tell me that he is OK.  That is all I have right now.  :( 

Does anyone else have this type of situation in the Navy?  He is not a Corpsman.....

It's okay, we were told it was one of those situations, and were told it was one of those jobs.  I was told not to talk about what he does to anyone or who he is with.  So I feel really left out of the loop and never thought he would be doing this kind of thing.  He really wanted it and trained a lot for this so I feel he was ready.  He is in good hands and knows what to do and is with people who do as well.  I just do not watch the news and and pray like crazy!  :)  I'm going to need all of the help I can get from all of you as I broke down many times already and he only just left......thank goodness for this site!  :)

I couldn't stop watching the news, I had to know every single thing...three weeks before he was due to leave Iraq, the US bombed Syria....and he was stationed on the border...but he called and said they were still on the way home, and when he got home I heard some stories about that. 

Meltdowns...mine was over bacon.

My meltdowns were over the laundry.  So needless to say I had them every week.

MIne just left a short time ago, I do have an address but no idea where he is.  He was able to call me once so far and it was a timed call and we got disconnected trying to fit everything in.  I have sent one box and was able to tell him that so he is going to see when he gets it so we can try and estimate times for mail.. I just dont know when he will be able to tell me when he got it. LOL  Oh the funny things we come up with and then think WTH was I thinking. 

I try to not think to much into this but like you all.. not knowing is hard, hearing a song he likes is hard, seeing the family pic is hard and just in general its hard.  I get really upset when I see others who have no respect and just are ruthless and I think of my son and others over there and the sacrifices they are giving up for these idiots.  That boils my blood more then anything. I am so grateful for our children and for all of us to have this site to vent.  

Susan, you are in the same situation as me.......I do not watch the news either.  You can message me privately if you want and we can talk.  I think our sons may do the same thing. I am not allowed to ask anything or tell anything either.  It's very hard and very different from what I am used to.  And this is his dream job????!!!!!! 

I heard his favorite song and just started crying in the car, thought I'd have to pull over and lose it completely.  Last week at my other son's high school football game a kid got hurt on the field and they had to call the ambulance to come and get him off the field and I about lost it thinking here I am praying that this kid be okay and the whole country is parying for our kids......here in this country you can just call 911,   I hope God forbid my son is not left in the mountains of God forsaken place if anything happens....I'm just thinking all these crazy things and had to pull myself together.  Just seems so crazy that I'm thinking these things..........then I realized I'm looking at it when my son used to play lacrosse and got hurt......seriously!  I finally realized I was being ridiculous and stopped, but seemed like just that one thing set me off............jeez! anxiety!

Ladies...I wish we had magic words to ease your fears. I wish we could see you and hold you in deep hugs...like I did a total stranger over that damn bacon that day she walked up to me and out of the clear sky told me her nephew left that morning for Iraq.

But I can't...I can validate your fear because it's real and it consumes you. You've been in charge of this child his whole life, protecting him, feeding him, cleaning up after him and now he's someplace where he's in danger from people we don't even know simply because he's the All American kid you raised. But one difference, your sons are highly trained military professionals, serving with other highly trained military professionals and they all have each other's back. They know their jobs, they know they have a job to do, and they know how to stay focused on it. They are not the boys that left for basic training any more. They are still your sons and they love you...and they worry about you...

So this is what you can do to help them...first of all, take care of yourself. If you've been wanting to paint the house...start now. I painted all the bedrooms. If you workout in a gym go more...or start going. If you have a dog, walk that dog. If you do family history, hit the libraries. Whatever it is you do to keep yourself sane do it now. If you need to speak to your doctor for something to help calm you, do so and get it. Try to sleep at night, eat 3 meals a day. One of the main things I've seen on this board is moms becoming ill during deployments. I've always had fever blisters,herpes simplex, but had  not broken out for years...by the 5th month of my son's Iraq deployment my mouth was never well, sores all over my lips...continually. We've had a mom come down with colitis, another with ulcers. Take care of you.

Next, make a list of topics to talk with your son about when he calls. Football scores, neighborhood gossip, dog stories, whatever...so that when that phone rings, you have something to focus on, and not break down. Be the mom. Be that strong voice he knows, do not focus on how much you miss him. He knows. He misses you too, but he's calling to hear "HOME".  And that's your job, home. (okay, you're allowed a couple of "we miss yous" at the end....

We can't do anything to help them while they are deployed except take care of us and home...and the dog.

Remember what my son emailed me once from Iraq..."they might say they miss their wives, their moms, their kids....we miss our dogs. "

Send real photos in those packages and letters, not just digital ones. Ones they can hold in their hands, the yard, the dog, the cat, the neighbor's ugly car...My son had two photo books, one was little larger, with tons of photos (but still small) and one really small one I got from the Dollar store, with a few photos. I found out later that small one was in his pocket the whole time he was deployed. ( A mom on this board told me to do that.)

You are not alone, and you are doing the right thing to come here to share your fear...and when they come home we'll be sharing your joy.

TexasDoc, You have "great" sound advice!!! Of course I am very teary eyed with all your stories,but the bacon puts has a funny smile on my face along with the tears.

I am going to work on the suggestions you talk about, especially get that small photo album ready ASAP, so "if" we ever do get an address, that will be the "1st" thing I send in the mail that very day. I am printing this page out, so I can look & be reminded of your suggestions of advice everyday!! Thanks for a little healing spot in my heart today.

It was small enough to fit in his pocket...more wallet size I guess. Don't forget your picture! and the dog! 

Texas DocMom,thank you so much for all your encouragements. Your words really helped me.My son is a Corpsman and he was just deployed.I am so glad I found this group,who understand what a mom with a child in Afghanistan  go trough.Be blessed all of you,I am going to come here everyday!

Much Trouble I feel the same.

Hi Ana!  I hope you come here often.  This site was my "home"...a safety zone in a world where I felt I had to pretend I was level-headed and brave.  It really doesn't matter if you come here for comfort or to lend comfort to others, because it seems to work both ways.  When we lean on someone, we are helping them also.  Think of a house of cards...  No card can stand by itself.  But when they are stacked just right, each one supports the other.

I'm already hearing our new moms taking a deep breath and planning their first box or phone call...or picture session.  You may not FEEL strong, but this group  (Yes...I mean YOU!) has more strength and courage than anyone can imagine. 

HAH....LOL....DocMom....I know...hmmm...that photo of "me"....didn't forget it & definitely didn't forget "man's" best friend our dog Bella. He does "Love" our dog.

Thanks Much Trouble for all your support.Every time I read some encouraging words, it helps my day start off in a good way.

I just wish I could do more. I just want it to end, and I cannot wait to close this page down....and move us all over to the "Transitions" board, and watch our kids move forward in their lives, giving us grandkids and happy memories. 

When my son and his sweetie moved into their new home, she emailed me about photos to frame and put on the wall. That's when I found out he still had that small album and that he carried it with him the whole time he was deployed. There he was, all safe, getting out of the Navy, and I still broke down and cried. See, this never leaves you...these memories of right now...and that's why it's important that you come here or someplace like this board to share, read, cry, laugh, scream and holler...because you are not alone. 

And we always remind new moms to not hurt anyone when you hear these words "I know just how you feel, my son just left for college". Okay?  

I fell that nobody understand what I feel,what I go trough only you ladies.Thank you so much for your words,and no,I don't want to hurt anybody when they said understand,because their child just left for college.Much Trouble,thank you for your welcome,I need you ladies so much,I want to survive trough this,I want to be strong for my son.