Anyone with Sailors/Soldiers/Marines in War Zones and Combat Areas

I agree it has been quiet as well.  We are at the less than a week count down to boots on ground!  I am also feeling bad for the replacement team and all their families. 

A very active veteran is in the running for winning a contest to be recognized for all her volunteer work.  If you can, go to Counton2.com and vote for Eileen. 

I will let you know when our Corpsman is home.  Hooray.

My son and his buddies have been posting about a couple of books. Written by the parents of Marines and Corpsmen in 2/2 Marines. I've posted them on the main page...http://navyformoms.com/forum/topics/books-written-by-those-who-know if you would like to take a look. It could be hard on some levels, so be prepared. But really, they are important. One could be a gift for one of those people who just don't get it when our kids enlist and serve. 

Hi everyone,

I have been quiet because it is the holiday season and I want everyone to be happy.  It has been very difficult for me without my son this season.  I made it through Thanksgiving day without tears for the sake of others but that does not mean I was not crying the night before or night of Thanksgiving.  I feel like there is such a weight all of my body, yet I know that my son is doing what he believes in and is happy doing it.  I know this should make me happy and it does but I do miss him so.  I had a snow day from work so my mind has time to wonder today.  I have tried to keep busy organizing cookies and brownies for my son's whole division for Christmas.  The weather may not let me mail the packages when I was planning, but I have already sent a letter explaining that to my son.  I hope the soldiers enjoy them even if it is after Christmas.  The students at my school are making Christmas cards for my son's division. Even with all this business, I still don't feel like smiling.  One of my students actually said last week, you can smile.  I have been working that group since mid-Sept.  TDM in your picture, you seem so happy.  How do you do it?  I do not intend to be a sober face.  I am trying to carry on for my son.  He has called twice. Once in October and November.  He is always thinking of us.  I am so happy to hear from him but when the phone call is over, I am devastated all over again.  I guess I am just in a black mood today.

Tamme, I am so happy that you are one week away.  I can't image.  My son told me he was a replacement for others to come home.  I want all of them home.  Everyone safe.  No one has been hurt in my son's division and he is thankful.  We all are.  I need to hear happy news.  My hope basket is running low today.

Curleytop...I can't imagine what you think the purpose of this group is!  If we can be cheerful, fine...that is great to share.  But the MAIN purpose is to keep from falling apart.  Who do you talk to about all your fears?  I have found that the "outsiders" I know, no matter how well-meaning they were, didn't have a clue about this situation!  This is the one place you can come to rant, rave, and cry.  We have all had the need, and you are among people who understand!  (When you get THAT out of your system, you can go back to being cheerful again...and it will be a whole lot easier.)  Good luck, Sweetie...and don't apologize for being "normal"!

Curleytop....like MT says, as strange as it seems, when you are having those tough days, when the tears won't stop, this is where you come to, sweetie. We're here, you are not alone. Please remember that...I well remember that fear, it just consumes you, I know. I am smiling in this photo because it was taken AFTER my son came  home from Iraq! My son is out now, working on his degree, moving on with his life...still over protective of me, but if that makes him happy,so be it. Your son will be like that as well, this will be behind him and he will move with his life. Up in the discussions are there is a post from my blog, written when my son was deployed...I bet  you read it and recognize my feelings there. We know. We're here. You are not alone.

Thanks, TDM and Much Trouble.  I guess I don't really know what to say sometimes because all this is so new.  This is my son's first deployment and I really don't know what is normal.  It is so difficult to explain.  I feel numb most of the time, just going to work and getting through each day because each day brings me closer to his coming home. I do not think of myself as sad, but I am not happy either.  It is an odd feeling.   I know I can't say much about what he is doing but is strange to think his days are my nights and visa versa.  I wake up at odd times and pray for him and his unit, knowing they are busy doing something.  Then when I am awake, I pray they are resting well.  Like I said,  I guess it the holiday season that is affecting me.  It is usually when families are together.  What sacrifices our military families have made.  I just keep telling myself that others have strived this and much more, so I can too.  It is just that some moments seem almost unbearable.  But all things do pass.  I have to remember that.  Thanks so much for being here.

Curleytop...I am here because it is my way to try to repay the Moms who reached out to me when I was paralyzed with fear.  The strange thing I found was that it DID get better...then I would relapse.  I practically lived on this site...and never once did I hear that my feelings were "wrong" or that I should get over it.  You never get over it...you just learn to live through it!!!  Something I found especially odd was when my son's time over there was short, I went back into panic mode again.  It was as though things had gone too well for us and I was going to be hit with something terrible before it was over.  Imagine my relief when I finally talked about it and discovered some of the other mothers felt the same way.  (At least I knew that if I was crazy, I was in good company.  lol)  As TDM said, you are NOT alone...We may be past the danger, but we will never forget those feelings!

TNM... Beautifully said...I hope you come back when your son leaves again.  We will be here and we will leave the light on for you!

Susan, there is help for your son now...the VA has help there. Take a look at the web sites listed above and check them out. I know a young man who is going to our community college and attends the PE parts at the gym where I work. He was telling me some stuff and I spoke with my son about it. My son said to tell him to go to the VA and just tell them he needs help. Helping our young vets adjust to civilian life again and helping them deal with PTS is a big focus now.

I think if my son had not been so in love at them time, and had not enrolled in school where he has become very involved with the Student Vet organization, he would have thought of re-enlisting. He misses his buddies, the camaraderie , the team work . The young man I met at the gym went into the Army at 18 and was in Afghanistan 2 months after basic training. He deployed a total of 5 times, got out, drifted from job to job and now is in college working on his degree. He said he should have gone into school straight away, meeting other vets, and new people really helped him out. 

Please tell your sons and daughters....it takes a strong person to reach out for help, get that help and then turn around and put that hand out to another vet struggling. They can do  it, and they are not the only ones doing it, they are not alone.

I had a couple of long conversations with that vet at the gym. I told him my son said "nothing traumatic happened to me, Mom" and I was pretty emotional when the words came out. He reached over the desk and took my hand and said "you have a good son". I told him that I am 65 years old, and I have Vietnam vet friends who are just now getting the help they need. I told him he cannot wait that long, he can't live his life that way, he can't do that to his wife and family. 

I told him about my son making sure I locked the door each time he leaves, once coming back in from his car because he didn't see the big door had been shut.The vet told me that at night, when he and his wife are in bed, he lays there knowing that the door is "closed tight" and he knows his wife locked it. And he cannot stop thinking about it, he waits until she is asleep and gets up to check them all again. They have no children, makes me wonder what he thinks about his ability to be a good father after 5 deployments.

I hate war. I hate our fathers having gone to war, my generation in Vietnam, and now our children again in war zones. I hate war. 

I hate war also.  I hate what it does to our soldiers and what it does to our families.  It seems when the soldier goes to war, the whole family goes to war.  My son had problems with anger before he left.  Can't image what he will deal with when he returns.

My oldest son is now thinking of enlisting.  I think it is because he had graduated college and is having a hard time finding a job.  To me the military is a calling.  I don't what him to join for the wrong reasons.

Reading all of the hear warming posts. I too have been quiet. Our oldest son's sub "finally" pulled into his base today to stay for a while. He was deployed out to sea from Dec-Jul, however, since they came back in Jul, he squeezed his wedding in with little time off & they have been out to sea "several" times, being out for weeks at a time. Our youngest will be deploying to Africa very soon. We had a beautiful Thanksgiving in our home with him & our daughters family. I feel some of that anxiety creeping up again from when he was in Afgh last year. I'm keeping a tight reign on my emotions through the holidays knowing just how grateful we are to have him with us for Christmas & to cherish every moment with him. 

Hi everyone. I need to come back as my son prepares  for a 2014 deployment.  He tells me very little about what he is doing and it sounds very scary to me. He is away on training right now.  What is hard for me right now is that he is missing his 3rd Christmas at home this year. He could have come home but seems to have chosen not to come.  He tells me that the goodbyes are too heart wrenching even if the visit is amazing. I already know that he can't be home next year.  He now lives off base which I think helps his morale most of the time.  He still feels down  quite often. That is hard too and I do my best to inspire hope for his future and comfort him.  One thing that I think about with my single son is that I am probably the last person to give him a hug before I left him last summer. Things can feel lonely sometimes even when we are surrounded by people who care. I always appreciate knowing that everyone cares here and really understands how we feel.  Thanks for listening.

Julieb, it's heartbreaking to read your post, I know it's very tough for you to not have your son home for the holiday. Is there anyway you can go to him? 

We'll be here! and we always listen, you won't be alone during this time...

Jerseysusan, hug that sailor for us all!

Hello everyone,

Just a note to say I packaged cookies for 2 and 1/2 hours today.  I have seven boxes ready to go.  Tomorrow is my third day off from school (snow and ice in my area) so I will make a slow trip to the post office.  I manage to put up my tree but that is all I have done.  My husband is telling me that I am stressed and staying stressed for longer periods of time, which is not like me.  All I can tell him is that this holiday season is different for me.  I am trying to stay as busy as I can with work but when that is over my mind starts reeling again.  I am looking forward to 2014, because that is when my son returns.

Curleytop, really, I don't know how you do it...the stress of the deployment and not being able to get out of the house! My dogs and I walked, and walked, and walked...and I hit the gym pretty often. Or dug in the yard, I had to wear myself out to sleep. We're not near as bad as you folks here in Texas with the weather, but when ice hits we stay in, don't know how you guys do this every winter!

julieb, good to know you're going down then! I'm hoping we are nearing the end of these deployments for the most part...soon, please, soon!

I just thought I would post something positive for a change.  I always seems to come here when I need something.  TDM, I have to stay busy or I will go crazy.  So I dream up projects to keep my mind occupied and that are time consuming for my body.  I agree that somedaywhen there will not have to be any more predeployment visits or deployment dates, would be a great day for this nation.  My Christmas project is almost done so now I am already thinking what can I do for Valentine's Day.  It is just one way I cope.  Sometimes I get myself in trouble with the things I dream up, but it keeps me preoccupied. 

I want to share this story with everyone.  This is just how great God is, as He send me people I need, right when I need them.  I am standing at the door of the post office waiting for it to open.  A gentlemen comes up to stand in line and wait also.  My husband says I never meet a stranger.  The gentlemen asked my for the time and we had fifteen minutes to wait.  I noticed his hat.  It read US Navy retired.  I immediately shook his hand and thanked him for his service.  Well, need I say more.  We had a lovely conversation.  He told me about his sons and their service and visa versa.  What a glorious way to start my day.  Going to the post office often reminds just how far away my son is, so I am very thankful for this encounter.

I am thankful for modern communication equipment that lets me get phone calls from Afghanistan. It is good to hear my son's voice.

While Afghanistan is not some place he wants to be, the opportunity to work in other countries around the world is one of the reasons he joined the Navy. I am grateful that our country has people around the world who can respond immediately to disasters, like the storm in the Philippines. I was proud that our marines were there the next day and a fleet of ships with more help and supplies were there in a couple of days. 

Saw this on facebook, and thought of this group. Please note I am not disparaging any religion here..."

So there's this guy walking down the street and he falls into a great big hole. A doctor walks by and the guy yells up to the doctor 'hey, I fell in this hole, can you help me out?' The doctor writes a prescription, throws it into the hole, and walks on. 

A priest then walks by and the guy yells up to the priest 'father, can you help me? I fell into this hole and I can't get out'. The priest says a prayer, throws down a Bible and walks on. 

And then a friend of the guy walks by and the guy yells up 'hey, buddy, I'm stuck in this hole and -' and before he can finish the friend jumps down into the hole. 

'What the hell are you doing?' the guy says, 'Now we're both down here!' 

'Yup', says the friend, 'But I've been down here before and I know the way out.'

TDM, your post made me laugh.  Then I thought of this.  This is the place to have friends that will jump in the hole with you.   We are in all different places in our journeys but the ones who have gone before are ready to "JUMP" for those of us stuck temporarily in the hole.  A million thanks from me for all the help you have given me and will continue to give.

Barbara C, thanks for a different perspective on phone calls.  I am thankful to hear my son's voice.  It just never seems to last long enough.

Great post TDM, they never stand alone out there, they all have each others back.

Curlytop...I know how you feel. Last year we had 2 deployed during the holidays. My biggest distraction were my beautiful grandchildren, and now we were blessed with a 3rd this summer!

Julieb...I feel your pain within your heart. Our oldest is a great communicator....But our youngest....not so much. He's the Special OPS & doesn't share anything with us. He's getting in that deployment mode again, starting to keep his distance with communication, as I think that's what they are taught on how to keep their emotions in tack before they leave. I can already feel & see the difference in him these past few weeks. 

Corpsman boots on ground!  He and his team arrived at CL yesterday afternoon.  Hope they release him to come home soon.  Thanks to the Good Lord and also to all of you for your prayers and support.  Prayers continue for all.

WHOOHOO!!! good news! have a great holiday!! get and give lots of hugs!!

Tamme,  Those are words we all love reading.  How marvelous!!!!!  Enjoy every moment when you get together after his release.  It is just awesome.

So happy for your son Tamme!!! I know you can't wait to see & and hug him!! The anticipation will be overwhelming!! Happy Holiday!

If you know any moms or family members with kids serving with the Marines headed to the Sudan right now, please reach out to them and invite them here for support. Much love to all of you without a full house this Christmas, thinking of you and sending special prayers for your loved ones. Come chat here! I'm staying home, and will check on the group through out the holiday. XO

That is one thing I really hate about the military.  It seems that when fighting slows down somewhere, it flares up in another place.  Will there ever be an end?  If so, I don't think I will ever see it.  Meanwhile, there are frightened mothers out there trying to be brave for their kids.  Of course all our troops are in my prayers, but I say them equally for the Moms (and wives) left behind.  Sometimes I think it is harder to be the powerless Mom than to be the fighting kid! 

My daughter will be returning shortly to CL from the sandbox, it has been our first deployment. Don't know what to expect or how this works, or if we will get to spend time with her once she arrives ? is there a place I can go to read up on more about deployment returns ? etc..  Thanks ! 

Thanks to Tenn Navy Mom. my daughter has sent me a contact name/# to assist us on her return.. Thanks for your time and information, I do appreciate it.

I'm not sure where the month of Dec went. The weekend before Christmas, we went up to NJ to our daughter & her family for Christmas as our youngest son joined us. He flew in from CA after he visited our oldest son & his wife for a couple of days. Then 2 days after Christmas, our youngest flew back to his base in FL and my husband & I drove back to our home in GA for 2 days, then continued on to FL to spend the last few days with our son before his deployment. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I can't begin to express what a Blessing & Gift it was to have spent the holidays with our son. My heart felt for the ones who couldn't be with their loves ones. On his last night, we both sat in my M-in-L's spare bedroom where he was staying. We sorted his clothes out as he packed his military back pack. He showed me where all of his important papers were filed in a filing cabinet we were taking back with us. Unlike his 1st deployment back in 2012 when my husband & I were left in the dark of the unknown, our son has taken a huge step forward becoming a much more mature responsible man. And even though we still are not aloud to know what he will be doing, his communication with us is more open with us this time. I couldn't have asked for anything more this time. Because of that night I spent in his room helping him pack, talking & having a mother & son bond, brought me to a whole new level. "I" became stronger emotional than I have ever felt & have a much more peaceful feeling. I haven't had that good big cry yet. I'm not sure why. I even feel guilty thinking something is wrong with me, after all, I couldn't stop crying myself to sleep for months back 2012. I know his job is very dangerous, even more so this time around, so why haven't I had that good cry yet? We are storing his boat & his truck with us. We checked on his boat yesterday. I thought I would just ball my eyes out, but just touching, looking, and knowing we were taking care of it, just made me smile until he gets back. He made us promise to use it when the weather breaks. We already have an address & he had sent us a list of some items he needs ASAP. You know I am on top of that already & will get it out this week!!

On another note, our oldest son who has been based out in CA, has rec'd official orders to come back east in Charleston SC the end of Feb. He will be an instructor for 3 years at a prototype submarine for "A" school. His days of going in and out to sea for next 3 years, will be spent in his wife's hometown having land duty & trying to start a family. We are so excited for them, as are her parents too. We will only be a 5 hour drive away from them & can't wait!!! Hugs to All of You & know that I am praying for your sons & daughters over in Afgh., for their safe return. 

JerseySusan...What beautiful things you wrote!  You have come such a long way, and I'm sure it gives hope to struggling Moms.  There is nothing wrong with you...it is just that your head is in a good place.  My son went into the Navy when he was a new 18 year old, and the first time he came home, I could see the man he was becoming.  They can still laugh and joke around...but they are also so very responsible.  I want to tell everyone..."Hey, that's my kid!!!"  lol 

Anyway...please stop in often!  If you are in a good place you can give assurance to the Moms who aren't, and if you hit a rough spot you are showing them they don't have to struggle alone.  I wish you and yours a great future.

JerseySusan, I loved your message.  Having both our son backs from deployment and here for the holidays was wonderful.  I think you feel better this time because you know you are a survivor now and also you have great confidence in your son.  It will still be hard but we are all here for you and praying for his safe return.  Exciting news on your other son being stationed here.  I hope we can get together to meet when you come to visit him. 

Thank You Everyone for all the positive feed back on my story.

Much Trouble...I didn't realize when I wrote this that it would give the struggling Mom's Hope for peace in their heart. Yes, I think I am at a good place for now.

Tamme...The words you used....Survivor & Confidence in our son, truly is a great description of why I feel somewhat at peace. And Yes, I will definitely let you know when we go to Charleston so we can meet!!

Tenn Navy Mom...I feel for your heart...I know with each deployment ahead, feelings & emotions will always be different each time, and a mothers emotions are never foolish. I will pray for your son & his safe return home. Hugs To All   ((( : )))

Kathy...Sorry about the 2cnd deployment news, but Congratulations on the wedding date!!! Enjoy the "pre" wedding planning. Sometimes stressful, but it can be a lot of fun as well!!!!!

So sorry to hear about another deployment. That stinks! but a wedding can be fun (says the wedding caterer) So enjoy every second! get a lot of pictures of YOU with the couple and singly. I'm putting together a photo montage for my MIL's 90th birthday and a little dismayed of so few of she and I together!

We're here...you won't be doing this deployment alone Kathy.

My son and his grandmother when we went to Missouri to celebrate her 90th birthday! I met so many people that shared with me how they prayed for my son and 2/2 Marines when they were deployed. I call it "praying them home". Thinking of all of you. 

Awe...I Love It your phrase "Praying them Home"!!! AND grandmother looks "Fabulous" for being "90"!!!

TDM How great for you all to be together for your mom's 90 birthday celebration. 

Thanks TDM.  I see some familiar faces and knew this group was here but didn't feel like I was in this place just yet because my son has not seen Iraq or Afghanistan. I have learned there are several different types of "deployments" but just that word alone is enough to set you on edge.  He's deployed until this summer.  He's currently attached to the 2/3 out of Hawaii.  Been there since last January and we have not seen him in person since then.  I get so angry at him sometimes for joining the military.  How awful of me, huh?  I would never tell him that and have always supported him 100% and have been his sounding board on more than one occasion.  Military life is stressful.  I know this first hand since my husband and I met when he was in the Army. But not being able to pick up the phone to talk to your child or even just to hear his voice or receive a text message at all hours of the night just flat out stinks.  The not knowing part of this is sometimes the hardest. So, today, for me it's one foot in front of the other. 

TNNavyMom - you have been one of the strongest Mom's I know on this forum and to see you having a hard time actually brought me to tears. ((Hugs)) to you.

And my thoughts and prayers are with all of you that have been on this journey before. Thank you for letting me vent.

Pam, the way the world is working now a days, when our military is out and about and we don't know where the hell they are, this group is open for anyone who needs it. My son's first deployment was with a MEU, Marine Expeditionary Unit, and I thought he was on board a ship for the majority of the time. I knew they had one slot of time sitting on the Lebanon border in case they were needed to evac US citizens, but as time passes, I find out, in passing conversations, that he was only on that ship about 60 days of the 7 months he was gone. His next deployment was to Iraq, when I found this group. It saved my sanity. It is very reassuring to know you are not the only one with sleepless nights, watching the news while holding your breath, living with that cold knot of fear in your gut. We all know those feelings. You are not alone. Nothing you can say will shock or surprise us....welcome to the group no one wants to join.

Got the I'm alive and ok email!  Help put my mind at ease.  Is it bad that I have read this thing 10 times?

Print it out and carry it in your pocket....Just wait till you get the photo of Boots Down USA.....you'll cry all day long. Relief crying is the BEST!!

Only 10 times?  You are doing very well, Pam!

:)  Thanks so much Ladies.  Phew - what a relief.  And I am printing it now!  11, 12....

lol  Pam, no need to count...I can assure you that you will keep reading it until you get the next one. 

Some days reading old e-mails and text from mine is the only thing that keeps me going.  Mine is deployed to points unknown yet again.  He is part of squadron HSC 85.  their motto "One in, all in".  But I keep reminding my self that he is happy doing the work that he does.  Hang in there ladies.!  {{Navy Hug}}

I have finally figured eMarine out!  I guess I had to get knee deep into this whole Marine thing before I understood exactly what was what.  Up unti now I have relied on my son to tell me everything.  He said if I sent him a care package it would just sit at the base he's been deployed to because he wasn't going to be there but part of the time.  Found out through eMarine that was not so.  It will be forwarded on to him.  What a crazy life this is after he spent two years blue side. He is also learning the green side as he goes along and I know he will be a better, if not grumpier, person for it. 

Green side is very different...walking that no man's land between Marine and Sailor and bossing all those big Marines around.

Packages...foxsox.com get those socks! and my son's theory was everything tastes better with salsa on it, so I sent tons of salsa....

I know MLK had a dream, and TDM does too...that we will not, at some point, ever need this group again. And here we go with more deployments! 

TNMom, you bet they have his back...those Marines pride themselves on taking care of the Doc, and they are not kidding! My son has been out over 2 years now, and still his FBook page will have notes from "his" Marines, checking on him and sometimes asking if it's okay to call him, they have something on their minds.  They have a bond that will never break. 

Yes prayers for our troops serving around this world, and the families waiting at home, every day....you are not alone....