Anyone with Sailors/Soldiers/Marines in War Zones and Combat Areas

I have enjoyed reading everyone's comments and catching up.  My computer has been down.  Technology is great when it works.  Well, I know this should be good news but I am just so anxious now.  My son is going to return sooner than I thought from his deployment.  NLT(no later than) the end of next month.  I had to look up NLT.  The FRO used it on the eMarine page.  Still trying to learn the lingo.  The reason I am so anxious is when the return dates where posted, the phrase was 'these dates are fluid'.  Oh how I hate that the military tells you something without telling you something.

So can I get excited about my son getting to come home?  I don't dare.  I have learn not to trust anything I am told.  Just about the time I count on something happening, it changes.

It is just so hard to plan.  I know that I am not in control.  I guess I keep trying to be, maybe that is the lesson I am to learn as a military mom.  I am so frustrated.  I know I should be happy, I think.  I am just scared something will happen and the dates will change.

Has anyone else felt this way about the final countdown weeks?

Yes you can get excited! it will be fluid, but they will let you know closer to the time when he will actually be arriving. They have your email and/or phone don't they? they send messages detailing the time, etc. They do not make public announcements, it's only for you family members. The FRO should be in touch and remember, if you have questions about the arrival, you can ask the FRO. 

Good for you!! 

Congratulations, Curleytop, on the early home from deployment.  After almost five years, I still get so frustrated with the up in the air dates.  Nothing can ever be planned, but so exciting they are coming back early!

Great words of wisdom TN Navy Mom.  I'm taking all of this to heart. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thanks ladies for your comments.

Past history has taught me to be more reserved.  I used to get excited about things and then came the military.  I know that they are doing their best.  Changes are inevitable but I am much more cautious now.  If I do not allow myself to plan or count on something happen and then it does, I am a much happier person.

Tennmom, you have the gift of putting into words what I cannot.  Thank you.

TDM,  Yes, the FRO has my contact information.  I inquired how to help my son about some business.  She never seems to directly answer my questions.  Her answer back to me was, if I liked, she would contact my son's 1stSgt. to have him help in the matter.  I thought the FRO were to help us state side.  The long and short of it, my last email to her was that I will not bother her again with anything.  Some help.  I know the FRO's have helped many of you and my situation is different.  My son told me before I signed up for eMarine, she was trouble.  How right he was.

I am surviving this because yesterday when I thought I would exploded of anger toward her, I know someone that used to be a yeoman in the Navy.  She is helping me.  All of you are helping me.  Just typing the words out is a release and helps me to let go.  I was so upset yesterday thinking I had gotten my son into trouble I could barely breathe, but today is a new day.

I want to keep going so at some future date, I can see him.  New motto-Boots Down USA.  Even though it is weeks away.

I have a question.  Before my son deployed he made me his appointed power of attorney and I asked him to send me a copy (I work for attorneys).  I never got the copy so I'm sure he probably forgot to do it.  Can the FRO send that to me? Tomorrow marks our half way point with this deployment.  Yippee!

Pam, my son just flat refused to do a POA. He said that we were his next of kin and why would he need to do so? I had access to all his bank accounts, etc. already so he just said no. One thing I discovered was that POA can vary from state to state, I had no idea.

Thanks TDM.  Having worked for attorneys for nearly 20 years and going through some crazy legal loops when my parents passed away, a POA does come in handy at times.  But you're right, in this situation his dad and I are his beneficiaries if anything happens to him.  But in this case he actually did do one and never sent me a copy.  I'll just shoot him an email about it.  His communications are intermittent and sporadic but we do hear from him thank goodness.

I think one of the toughest talks we had before he even went into the Navy was how he wanted us to handle things if something happened to him.  Most parents I know look at us like we're nuts when we say we know his wishes.  I guess it's a taboo subject, but when you have a son/daughter in the military, at least in my case, I had to know.  It's amazing how your thought process can go all over the place when their in the military.

Thank you TN Navy Mom.  I'll just email my son and see what he says.  I actually didn't even know about FRO's until I looked back at the emarines site.  My son is so independent and in control of his own life that I guess he forgot to tell me about that tidbit of information. LOL.  Ugh.. so much to learn on the green side.

Well, my son never ended up doing that POA.  Haha, he just forgot to tell Mom.  It's ok I understand that he has a lot on his mind right now.  Mystery solved.  Hope everyone's Sailors are doing well.

Pam,

I am glad the mystery of the POA is solved for you.  Sometimes less is more.  Our son also discussed his wishes before he left.  He wanted us to be prepared, just in case.  Yet, no parent really wants to think that way.

TennMom,

I have decided I am just better off without the FRO.  Our son can tell me what I need to know.  If he can't tell, then I won't miss it.

Now, I am going to change 'gears' as my hubby tells me I do often.  Have any or you gone to the Marine Ball?  I understand that they have one for sailor/soldiers when they get back from deployment.

Anyway, I have been making hotel reservations for my son to attend. I just found out he is too young to check in the hotel where they are holding this event, but he is not to young to go half way across the world to a war zone and defend our country.  This just does not make any sense to me.  Frazzled Curleytop

KPC,

The ball is in Las Vegas.  I guess I should not have believed the person giving me the requirements for check in.  Thanks for the information.

Hi Everyone, I am finally getting around reading all these posts. I went up to NJ to help my daughter with 3 kids & help my sister take care of my parents, & on the very 1st day, ( 2 Saturdays ago) I misplaced the last step of our daughters stairs, with my grandson in my arms and broke my fibula right by my ankle! YUK!! I have a splint for 2 weeks which will be followed by a cast for 4 weeks. So instead of staying up in NJ for a month to help my daughter and sister, my husband drove me back to GA last Sat. after "ALL" the snowstorms that hit the northeast last week. Today is the first I actually feel better since this whole thing happened. Enough about my drama.

Our oldest son (Navy) & his wife are now driving back from San Diego to the east coast for his new assignment in Charleston SC. Since they never had time to take their honeymoon last summer, they are taking their time and traveling by car to visit many landmark sites. They went up to San Francisco, & now they are at Yosemite Park. The pictures they have been taking are breathtaking & they are having the time of their life!!!  They will be stopping our house for a day or 2 sometime with-in 2 weeks. Can't wait to see them!!

Our youngest son (AF) is deployed in Africa. We do hear from him every other week which has been great, but, he was pretty depressed for a while. His job assignment turns out not to be what he thought it was nor, is it what he was really trained to do, and the heart ache of a girl right before he left didn't help matters!! Of course, even though I felt very bad about his disappointing assignment, in a way, it had absolutely relieved my anxiety, as his mother, knowing he wasn't doing what I "thought" he was doing. He did say however last weekend that things would be changing soon and he was finally coming out of his depression of being disappointed between his job & the GF. All I want is for him to be happy with what he feels he wants to do. Praying for his happiness & safety.  <3  

JerseySusan, so sorry to hear about your leg.  Hope you heal quickly.  Can't wait to meet you one day in Charleston.  Please let your son and wife know if I can be of any assistance. 

Awe Thanks for all your well wishes. Believe me when I tell you, I held onto my 8 month old grandson for dear life. After we dropped to the floor, he just rolled right out of my arms. I felt like I was in a fire drill Stop, Drop & Roll except I forgot the Stop!!

Tamme, I will be sure to let you know when we come your way!!!

Hi there, my name is Lorrie Garofano I'm new to this group and new to deployment.  My son was deployed from Norfolk VA on Feb 13 to Afghanistan, any suggestions, helpful information would be greatly appreciated   :)

Hi Lorriemi!  I'm pretty new to this group also.  My son has been in Hawaii since last January and is currently a couple months into his first deployment with the Marines.  I have found that communications are sporadic and for days and weeks on end nonexistent.  But he's a Corpsman that loves his job.  When we do talk, I try to keep it light and to let him talk and tell me about what he's going through. Sometimes he feels like talking other times he doesn't. The ladies on this forum are just awesome and will probably be able to answer questions and give you invaluable pointers.  As Texas Doc Mom said to me when I joined, welcome to the group no one wants to be a part of.  But we are here for the support you need.

Thanks Susan - I was glad to read about the boxes because I did send one to him and I pasted a bunch of photos of our huge snow storm (well 2" is huge here!) in Atlanta a couple weeks ago into a Word document and sent that to him.  Sometimes I think he probably thinks his mom is just rattling on when I write about the goings on around our small town, but I'm thinking it will help keep him grounded somehow. 

Pam...Just saw you are from GA, I am as well. You are doing exactly what you should be doing, writing about hometown events is perfect small talk. We haven't been able to send any care packages to our son this time, but have been able to communicate through e-mails or FB private message about every other week which has been a relief. I know he really misses not getting a surprise box from us every month.

JerseySusan - so sorry to hear about your leg.  What a bummer!  And yes, we are in Conyers!

Lorrie!Yes, welcome to the group no one wants to join, and most of us can never leave, even when our kids are safe home and sometimes totally out of the military!  This site must have been having problems, it stop notifying me of comments here....sorry to be late getting to you!

On the phone conversations or emails...yes they love to hear about home...and see photos. I bought a cheap small photo album and filled it with pictures, including the dogs...and he carried it every where! Yes on foxsox.com....coyote color....like putting a cloud on sore feet! And every thing in the care packages in zip lock bags of all sizes...they use them for everything, it's gritty sandy over there.

Stay busy, put in the garden, paint a room, join a gym....and come here...you are not alone, as you can see....we are all here!

Wow - did N4M's change the format.  It's a little too bright and it looks like they just shuffled things around on the pages! 

I guess the important stuff is still here...but I am getting older and I don't like "change".  lol

I'm not liking it much either...this looks ridiculous!

Tried to clean it up some...

It is very different.  Seems to open faster though.  I do like the PIR ceremony guideline they added.  That will be so so much help to our boot camp members. 

I think they wanted all the "up to date" info on that side posted in every group. Personally, I don't see the use, but then I only go to this group and our Corpsman moms group on N4M.

It's garbled.  Is that a word?  LOL  Yuck.

I do most of my navyformoms reading on my iPhone but after reading recent comments about the new look, logged on to see what the "new and improved" looked like.  I LIKE IT and I think it will be easier for new members to navigate.  I expect there will be some fine tuning as time goes by. I am just forever grateful to those who started and maintain navyformoms for us.  I occasionally manage a small list for a friend and know a list with just a few hundred can be overwhelming with requests, comments, etc.  WAY TO GO NAVYFORMOMS. 

Thank you Pam - Corpsman Mom and susan  !!! I appreciate the encouragement and suggestions have a wonderful weekend  :)

Notifications are noticably slower...I saw Tamme's post when I was here earlier today messing with the site....and just now, 4 hours later, I got the notification. The other posts since hers have not been sent to my email. I want that faster, we have moms under stress and we need to respond to them asap. 

It looks a little straighter, deleted and moved some stuff. I just don't like all that stuff on the left side, reminds me too much of facebook!

I actually underlined every link up in that area above, but only one seems to show up.

Prayers for you and your family Meloney.  I did read an article that we are finally going to be getting out that place soon.

We're still here, Meloney...you are not alone. Keep us updated with how you're doing, and remember, we don't tell anyone anything! 

After being out of contact, my Corpsman and his Marine's are finally getting a little R&R.  I had to laugh because we got a call Sunday morning from some bar halfway across the world... All I could hear in the background was a chorus of "HI MOM!!!"  They deserve the break and I'm happy they finally got some down time.  One more week and we'll be at the halfway point of this deployment.

JerseySusan - how wonderful.  Thanks for sharing.

Lovely!! thank you Susan!

Hi everyone,

I have good news today.  Our corpsman was able to call and talk to his dad.  He sounded tired but in good spirits.  He has received his FMF pin.  I know that he has worked hard for it.  I am proud and happy for him.  It is one of my rare smiling days.  Just thought I would let all of you know.

Sleep well tonight, Curleytop! Congrats to the Doc!!

Fantastic, Curleytop.  Proud of him.  Keeping him in our prayers.

Curleytop, Congratulations for your son earning his pin and that phone call!!!

Congrats to your son Curlytop! 

Hi All.  New to this forum as Son is Corpsman newly in Afghan.....

Welcome NicksMom.  We are here for support whenever you need us.  I hope his deployment is short.

Me as well.  Actually had someone I know have the gall to say to me.... "Well, I don't know why they sent him..."   "We aren't even over there anymore...."  Anyway, whole other discussion NOT for here.... ha ha!  Saw a couple of you all are in/around the ATL.  I am as well.  Son deployed as Corpsman with the 1/7

Nick's mom...Welcome to the group and feel free to talk about anything having to do with your son over there.  People said that to me several years ago when my son was there, and at that time we did an intense build up of troops and it was on the news every night.  I really think some people live under a rock!  I DO think the situation has improved a bit over there, but when YOUR kid is involved any threat is too much.  Stop by often...this is a great place to laugh, cry, or just vent your feelings...so you can be cheerful for your son.  Trust me, we all know all the feelings crashing around in a mom's head and heart.

Welcome nicksmom- I'm right outside of Atlanta.  My son soon reaches his halfway point of his first deployment.  He's been a Corpsman since 2010 and attached to the 2/3 out of Hawaii for the last year and a half. 

Welcome NIcksmom! Like MT says, we (and YOU) can discuss anything here....my pet peeve is the people that say they know just how we feel, cuz their child just left for college! grrrr....we keep a virtual bail bond fund here in case someday we have to bail one of us out of jail for punching someone out. 

Read back over the posts, if  you have any questions, ask or vents, please rage. It's okay. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel frightened, it's okay to be awake at 3am and come post...it's all okay, Nicksmom. Start putting those notes down on a sheet of paper so that you have something to talk about when your phone rings with that goofy phone number and your son is on the other end, cuz your mind will go blank. Take care of you, so when you answer that phone, you sound like normal mom instead of scared as hell mom....and remember, when he shares things with  you, he is not necessarily sharing with all the rest of us on N4M site. If there is really something you need help with or to talk out, please message one of us and we'll help you sort it out. 

But the main thing to remember is that you are NOT alone, there are women here will stick by your side through it all, and we all do it with the prayer that maybe soon, we won't have to have this group any more. But while we have war zones, all will be welcome who share the fear. You are not alone.