Girlfriends, Fiances,and Wives of Sailors
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Fiancé Advice
My fiance just joined the Navy and was sent off to bootcamp this week. We've been together for almost six years and we plan to get married after bootcamp is over.
> I was hoping you could tell me if waiting until bootcamp is over was the smart thing to do. I've been told that we should've gotten married before bootcamp so I can be listed on his orders. We were hoping to get stationed in San Diego, but I know it's a stretch. I'm now in panic mode that he will be sent off to Japan or overseas somewhere and I won't be able to go because we won't be married by the time they assign duty stations during bootcamp.
>He's an E-3 in the PACT program for aviation. We planned to get married after bootcamp during his three week training. If possible, we were also considering getting married in Great Lakes if we have time.
Do you know his chances of being stationed overseas, or my chances for not being able to be on his orders after we get married in Pensacola? What are my chances of not being able to move with him since we aren't married?
Anything helps!
> I was hoping you could tell me if waiting until bootcamp is over was the smart thing to do. I've been told that we should've gotten married before bootcamp so I can be listed on his orders. We were hoping to get stationed in San Diego, but I know it's a stretch. I'm now in panic mode that he will be sent off to Japan or overseas somewhere and I won't be able to go because we won't be married by the time they assign duty stations during bootcamp.
>He's an E-3 in the PACT program for aviation. We planned to get married after bootcamp during his three week training. If possible, we were also considering getting married in Great Lakes if we have time.
Do you know his chances of being stationed overseas, or my chances for not being able to be on his orders after we get married in Pensacola? What are my chances of not being able to move with him since we aren't married?
Anything helps!
Kanada
Hello Lauren!
I wish you the best of luck for both you and your fiance! My husband and I were already married before bootcamp (for a year and a bit) and I met another woman who married her husband 2 weeks before he left for bootcamp. Having the BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) is extremely helpful, especially since the woman and I met and I both live in California where the rent is insane.
If you're worried about it, you can get married on the Friday of his graduation. Great Lakes is lovely and I'm sure the city would be able to accommodate a wedding. My husband's recruiter married his wife between A school and C school, as they often get a week "break" between there. (No guarantee).
I dug up my DEERS form and have a website for you, it's to help find the nearest DEERS office after you get married. https://www.dmdc.osd.mil/rsl/
You'll also be given this information when the time comes, but I personally stress out less with more information. Feel free to take a look and see what's in your area as well as Pensacola. It does not have to be a Navy branch! I did mine at the Coast Guard base, as it was the closest to me.
Now to try and answer your last questions. The chances of being stationed overseas is unknown. It's possible, my husband and I want to be stationed overseas and are hopeful for it personally. If he does really well in A school, he might have a better chance of getting stationed in USA. Once you get married, your fiance will be the one that gets you moved to his orders. I believe he has to submit a chit to move you. There is more information out there about that, my husband is in A school currently at Great Lakes but I won't be joining him as I'm trying to finish my bachelors. Now, for your last question. Your chances of not being able to move with him because you aren't married is very possible. That is the scary reality. They won't really want him to live off base (every A school has their rules).
If you have any more questions or concerns, I'm still new, but I'll try my best to help you out! Best of luck to you and your fiance!
Aug 18, 2019
Anti M
You will not have time to get married in Great Lakes at his graduation. Lake County, IL has a 24 hour waiting period after getting the marriage license, and he will be at the airport by then.
Aug 21, 2019
astc
I wish I got to read this post early on....I am in the same situation as you. I have been with mine for 7 years and he left on 9/13. He is also an E-3 PACT. You probably will not have the time to get married at Great Lakes. I feel the same fear as you do, but the only thing you can do is trust your partner and support him as much as you can. You can probably get married once things have settled and go from there.
Best of luck to you and your sailor.
Sep 26, 2019